Chapter 4
DAMIAN
I never talked much as a child. And as an adult, I spoke even less. My biological parents couldn’t figure out why I rarely communicated using words.
They thought I had a learning disability. Autism. A mental illness. Just about everything the doctors could dig up from their medical journals.
I just didn’t like to talk.
Bastian understood me from the start. So, when I dragged him into the shower, he knew what I needed without using words and pushed me into the tiled wall, water splashing our faces.
“You’re so dirty,” he muttered, his hand sliding up my throat. “Why did you have to make a mess before the Wellingtons arrive?”
I tilted my head to the side as he kissed my neck. “You like me dirty.”
“Yeah.” He smiled against my skin and tugged on my flesh, knowing how much I liked the pain. “I wouldn’t want you any other way.”
This was the closest we ever got to kissing. If I turned my head to kiss him, he would pull away from me.
So I didn’t move.
Bastian kissed everywhere but my lips while he fisted my cock, which thickened with each stroke. He was rarely this affectionate with me. Sometimes, he got so stuck in his head that he wouldn’t let me touch him for months.
Today was different.
I could feel it.
I wondered if it had anything to do with us meeting Alexandrea Wellington. Bastian called dibs since Luca didn’t want her. For whatever reason, she gave Bastian hope. I wasn’t sure why, but she did. And if Bastian wanted her, then so did I.
“Choke me,” I bit out since his grasp on my throat was loosening the closer he got to coming. “Harder.”
His fingers curled around my throat, making it much harder to breathe. And with the loss of oxygen came the intense orgasm building, my balls aching and begging for a release.
“Is this hard enough, you sick fuck?” Bastian looked into my eyes right before he licked the water from my cheek. “Huh? Tell me how much you hate it when I do this.”
I loved it.
But he hated himself for getting turned on by me. We needed a woman willing to accept us, so Bastian would stop judging himself.
Bastian grunted in my ear as he came in my hand, his entire body trembling. His grip on my throat loosened as my cum coated his stomach.
He stepped back, and I watched my cum drip down his ripped stomach. His body was absolute perfection. I licked my lips, staring at his dick before returning my gaze to his face.
I wanted to fuck him.
To feel him.
I’d had sex with many beautiful women, but I wanted him more than anyone. Maybe it was because he wouldn’t let me fuck him. The hunter in me loved the chase—the thrill of the hunt. And with Bastian, I was always begging him for more.
I moved behind him and rubbed the soap up and down his dick, nibbling on his neck.
He pushed my hand away and spun around to face me. “We’re going to be late.”
I scowled in response.
“Don’t give me that look. Dad will kill us if we’re not downstairs in the next fifteen minutes.”
I rested my forehead against his, the water drizzling into our eyes. “I need you, Bash. I need this. Just give me a few more minutes in our little bubble before we pretend we’re different people.”
“Come on, D,” he groaned, stepping back. “I already got you off. What more do you want from me?”
Bastian acted this way almost every time we fucked around. He went with the flow in the heat of the moment, but after we both came, he felt too much shame.
“I want everything.” I instantly felt the loss of his body heat and hated that he was keeping his distance from me. “I want all of you.”
“We don’t need a marriage to get into The Founders Society,” Bastian said with sadness in his gray eyes that softened around the edges. “But this is important to our family.”
I considered his words for a moment. Without Arlo Salvatore adopting us, we would have had miserable lives. After only three weeks with Bastian’s abusive grandfather, I almost lost my mind.
I thought he would kill us.
The old bastard was the meanest piece of shit I had ever met. And that was saying a lot. For fuck’s sake, I killed bad men, ridding that scum from the world, and felt no remorse.
“We’ll go to The Mansion on Saturday.” Bastian clutched my face and smiled. “Just you and me. We’ll fuck all the women we can get our hands on.”
Bastian was an entirely different person at the sex club owned by our father. He lowered his inhibitions and didn’t think about what we were doing. If only I could get him to stop fearing what sex would mean between us.
“Whatever makes you feel less disgusted by what we’re doing.”
He shut off the water, turning his back to me with a sigh. I stared at his muscular ass for a moment, wondering how my cock would look shoved between his cheeks. All I could do was dream. Until Bastian stopped hating himself, I would never get to fuck him.
He would never fuck me.
It didn’t matter that I’d sell my soul to the fucking devil to have his cock inside me. There was no amount of begging that would get me what I wanted.
I couldn’t even pay for it.
Bastian owned half of Atlantic Airlines. Once we were old enough to collect our trust funds, we would run the company our parents started together.
We were not just adoptive brothers and best friends. This was a marriage between us. Our lives were so intertwined that I couldn’t untangle myself from him. So, if Carl Wellington’s granddaughter gave Bastian hope for a different life, I wanted that for us.
I wanted him.
I wanted her.
I wanted an us.
I followed Bastian out of the shower and towel-dried my hair. “Do you think Alex can fix us?”
Bastian dabbed at his wet skin and wrapped the towel around his waist. “I think she’ll be more accepting of us. She’s had a rough life and won’t judge us. I have a feeling about her. A good one.”
“Is that why you’re so excited about meeting her?”
He rolled his broad shoulders and smiled. “I can’t explain it, D. Call it intuition. Alex is the one for us. She’s from the right bloodline. One my grandfather approves of.”
It was always about his grandfather’s approval. Fitzgerald Archibald Adams IV was the only person standing in my way.
“We both need more. I think you know that.”
“I’d miss fucking women if it were only the two of us,” I admitted as we left the bathroom and entered my bedroom.
He slipped into a pair of boxers and yanked them up his thighs. “I love pussy more than almost anything. I need to fuck women. I’m not giving that up.”
“Yeah,” I agreed because it was all I had ever known. “But I think I enjoy killing people one-tenth more than sex. If I can have sex after a kill, that’s the sweet spot. Nothing gets my dick harder.”
“Oh, I know how hard your dick gets over blood,” he said with a wink. “Now think about how hard you’d get licking Alex’s bloody pussy after I take her virginity.”
I licked my lips, staring at his mouth as excitement flared inside me. The monster hummed to life, begging to come out and play. “Now, we’re talking. Even better if you let me suck her blood off your dick. I want it all.”
Bastian entered the walk-in closet, grabbed one of my Brioni suits from the hanger, and set it on the bed. “Get dressed.”
“If you want Alex, why are you going along with Luca’s plan to ice her out and make her feel unwanted? It will be easier to get into her pants if you turn on the charm.”
Bastian could be very fucking charming. Almost too perfect, if you asked me. He was so good at bullshitting people that it sometimes made me jealous that he had such a natural ease.
Words were easy for him.
I had no social skills whatsoever and didn’t understand societal norms, nor did I give a fuck. I looked to Bastian and my brothers to help me understand the world.
They helped me survive.
Bastian looked fucking amazing in a black Tom Ford suit that clung to his muscles. My cock hardened at the sight of him, and I licked my lips, reaching down to fix the bulge in my pants.
Bastian’s eyes lowered. “Get rid of that now. Fuck, Damian. Do you ever think about anything else?”
“Not when you’re in the room.”
He inched toward me and fisted my tie, pulling me so close our lips almost grazed. If only he had pressed his lips to mine and stopped overthinking.
“I’ll tell you what. If you do as I say and don’t mess up this meeting with the Wellingtons for us, I’ll reward you later for being a good boy.”
I liked the sound of this.
A sly grin pulled at the corners of my mouth. “What do you want me to do?”