Chapter 5
Vanessa
Mom
Vanessa! I am extremely concerned. Your guard said you disappeared and he hasn’t seen you all day.
Mom
Your location is turned off. Please let me know you’re okay.
I snort out a laugh and throw my phone onto the little table. If I hadn’t overheard her agree to sell me in order to clear her husband’s debt, I would actually think my mom cared. But since I know better, her texts reek of desperation.
“Hey, is everything okay?” Nicole asks. “Your mom just texted me, saying she’s worried about you and she doesn’t know where you are.”
I’m sure she is …
Not for the first time, I consider telling Nicole what’s going on.
I mean, there’s no way she would agree with what her father is doing, right?
But the problem is, I can’t be sure. I always knew my mother resented me, but I never thought she’d agree to sell my virginity.
And at this point, the only person I can trust is myself.
“We got into an argument,” I lie. “If you could not tell her I’m with you, I would appreciate it.”
Nicole looks like she wants to ask what’s going on, but her boyfriend calls her name, distracting her, and she lets it go.
“Take that cover-up off and get in the water with me,” James says, waggling his brows playfully.
We arrived at the resort in Bimini about an hour ago. And after being given a tour of the resort, Bri suggested we all head to the private pool and Jacuzzi that’s for our use only during our stay. Since everyone is coupled off, I have a room to myself, and it’s over-the-top beautiful.
I offered to give Bri some money, feeling like it was the right thing to do since I was pretty much crashing their wedding, but she wasn’t having it. And I’m glad because I can’t even imagine how much two nights at this resort would cost.
Nicole rolls her eyes but makes a show of getting up, taking her cover-up off, and sauntering over to him. James whistles appreciatively and then pulls her into his arms, and Nicole giggles, wrapping her arms around him.
I glance around, finding everyone coupled off.
Bri is with Kane, in his arms, in the corner of the pool.
Peyton and Dominick are lying out in the two-person lounge chair.
She’s resting her head against his chest, and he’s rubbing his fingers up and down her back.
Dani and Matteo are in the hot tub, and with how close they are, kissing and touching, I wouldn’t be surprised if they excused themselves to go up to their room—or hell, with the way they’re going at it, they might just get it on right there, everyone else be damned.
I should probably be grossed out by all the lovey-dovey couples I’m surrounded by, but the truth is, they give me hope.
I don’t know any of them well—only from what I’ve seen today—but it’s clear how in love they are.
And not the love my mother thinks is normal, but the kind of love where they’re not just lovers, but partners …
equals. Everything I hope to have with a man one day.
Even Bri’s mom and stepdad—who disappeared to take a nap shortly after we arrived—clearly have mutual respect for one another.
When Larisa speaks, Walter listens. I haven’t been around many couples, too focused on school, but I’ve always told myself that while I never want to be dependent on a man, I want a man I can depend on.
My eyes land on Lorenzo—who, according to Nicole, is Matteo’s best friend and a newly single dad. I didn’t see him again after our brief conversation at the bar on the yacht. And when we arrived at the resort, he excused himself to check on his son.
He steps toward the pool, taking in the couples and trying to decide where he fits in. His gaze lands on me, and I smile and wave, letting him know he’s not alone.
He nods once, barely sparing me a glance, and then grabs the hem of his shirt, lifting it over his head and exposing his toned upper body.
He was wearing a long-sleeved henley on the yacht and again just now, so I’m shocked to find several intricate tattoos covering his forearms and chest. He kicks off his flip-flops and runs his fingers through his messy brown hair.
Then he steps over to the deep end and dives into the water.
His body glides under the surface, barely making a splash, and I inhale a sharp breath, wondering how the hell a man simply diving into the water could be so damn sexy.
My phone buzzes again, forcing me to look away from Lorenzo, who’s now elegantly yet powerfully swimming laps from one end of the pool to the other.
Mom
Vanessa, when you get this, I need you to come home ASAP. It’s an emergency.
Yeah, I bet it is.
I mentally scoff, squeezing my phone in anger and then setting it aside so I don’t do something stupid like throw and break it since it’s not under warranty.
My eyes ascend back to Lorenzo, and an idea forms. Eric told the guy on the phone that I was worth millions because I was still a virgin. So, if I wasn’t a virgin, I would be worthless to him, right?
Lorenzo stops at the deep end and pushes up onto his forearms. His muscles contract as he pulls himself up onto the edge and gets out. Water sluices down his body, and I swallow thickly at the thought of him using that body to pleasure me.
My goal is to be nothing like my mother, which means not using my body to gain a man’s attention.
She opened her legs for any man she thought would open his wallet, and I told myself I wouldn’t do the same.
I would focus on my dreams and goals, becoming completely independent and self-sufficient.
And one day, when I met the man I wanted to spend my life with, I would give myself to him.
The thought of giving myself to Lorenzo, a man who couldn’t give two shits about me—hell, I doubt he even knows my name—causes my anxiety to spike, but what other choice do I have?
It’s either have sex with him to get rid of my virginity, effectively removing my worth, or get taken and be forced to give it to someone who would do God knows what to me.
I’ve seen the movie Taken, and I’m not about to become the next statistic.
Both options have my heart racing, and before I lose my shit, I gather up my stuff and head back to my room to grab my bottle of antianxiety meds.
Since I was little and my mom would move us from house to house, shacking up with vile men who made my skin crawl, I’ve developed severe anxiety.
It’s calmed down the past several years, since I was sent to boarding school and then moved into the college dorms, but every now and then, it sneaks up on me, so my therapist has prescribed me a low dose to help calm me down.
I have two different prescriptions—one is nondrowsy, for during the day, and the other is to help me sleep.
Since it’s still early and we’re all going to dinner later, I swallow down the nondrowsy option and then take a hot shower.
I can do this, I tell myself.
Lorenzo seems like a nice guy. It might not be how I wanted to lose my virginity, but I don’t see any other option.
“Is this seat taken?”
Lorenzo glances up from his phone and shakes his head.
“Still on daddy duty?” I joke, raising my hand to snag the bartender’s attention.
We just got back from dinner, and the couples have taken off to their rooms for the night. When Dominick mentioned that it was bad luck to see the bride the night before the wedding, Kane glared and told him that it was bad luck to keep him away from his wife.
Since I wasn’t tired, I went for a walk along the beach, enjoying the fresh air, and on my way back up to my room, I spotted Lorenzo sitting at the bar and figured I should come over and say hi.
Who knows? Maybe he’ll be up for a hookup tonight, and I can kick my virginity to the curb and lose my value.
“Always,” he says, taking a sip of his drink.
“Are you always so talkative, or is it just me?”
I quirk a brow, and he chuckles, the sound deep and masculine.
“It’s not you. It’s me,” he says, then grimaces when he realizes what he just said.
“Tell me how you really feel.” I wink playfully.
When the bartender comes over, I glance at the cocktail menu and order something I’ve never ordered before. “A screaming orgasm, please.”
Lorenzo glances at me and smirks.
“What?” I say, feigning innocence. “With all these couples, it’s the only way I’ll have one. Unless …” I trail off, and Lorenzo shakes his head.
“Hate to burst your bubble … or leave you unsatisfied … but I don’t do hookups.”
Well, shit. I definitely didn’t take that into consideration.
I swallow thickly and force out a laugh as the bartender sets my drink down.
I raise it and lock eyes with Lorenzo. “Then it looks like I’ll be pleasuring myself tonight.” I throw my drink back and get to figuring out a plan B.
“Oh, Bri,” Larisa, Bri’s mom, coos. “You look absolutely stunning.”
“Thank you.” Brielle smiles into the mirror, her hand covering her adorable bump.
She’s wearing a gorgeous, simple, off-the-shoulder wedding dress that stops at her knees and matching sandals that are stylish yet perfect for a beach wedding.
She turns around and looks at all the women surrounding her. “Thank you for coming today. This is everything I dreamed about,” she chokes out, “including the man I’m marrying … again.”
Everyone laughs, and Bri’s mom hands her a handkerchief to dab her eyes so she doesn’t mess up her makeup.
Once everyone is ready, we head out to the beautifully decorated pavilion to wait for the ceremony to begin. Since Lorenzo has an empty seat to the left of him, I have a seat next to him.
“Perfect day for a wedding, huh?”
He grunts, and I snort out a laugh.
“What?” he mutters.
“Nothing. You’re just so … grumpy.”
He side-eyes me, and I laugh again.
“See? Grumpy.”
“Leave the poor guy alone,” Matteo says with a smirk. “He’s not grumpy. He’s heartbroken. My sister is getting married for the second time, and this guy hasn’t even gotten married once.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Lorenzo hisses.
“Who knows? Maybe you’ll be the one to catch the garter, and then it will be your turn next.” I grin at Lorenzo, whose scowl deepens.
“I have no desire to get married,” he grumbles.
“No desire to hook up,” I murmur so only he can hear. “No desire to get married. Is there anything you do desire?”
“Yeah, ending this conversation,” he says, his piercing blue eyes meeting mine.
I flinch at his harsh tone, and he sighs. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
Thankfully, the wedding procession begins, and Dominick—Bri’s oldest brother—walks her down the makeshift aisle, effectively ending the awkward conversation and my hope of somehow convincing Lorenzo to let me give him my virginity.
As Bri and Kane exchange vows, they speak about their love for one another, and I can’t help but get choked up because this is what I want—to meet a man who will look at me the way Kane looks at Bri.
Who will love me and protect me—not because I need him to, but because he wants to.
And in return, I would love and protect him right back.
My eyes peer over at Lorenzo, who’s barely watching the service, paying more attention to his phone than the couple promising to spend their lives loving one another, and I try to imagine how it would be if he were to give in and take my virginity.
He doesn’t love me.
He doesn’t even know me enough to like me or care about me.
I would be a faceless pair of legs. Someone to momentarily get lost in, and once it was over, he would move on, most likely forgetting the encounter ever happened.
But I would always remember that night. Because for me, it wouldn’t just be a hookup. I’d have given something meaningful to someone who hadn’t wanted it or deserved it or even earned it.
And suddenly, I’m grateful that Lorenzo didn’t give in.
Because this isn’t what I want.
There has to be another way to get out of this mess.
To save my life.
But the question is, what is it?
“And so we meet again,” Lorenzo says as he steps up to the bar, where I’m sitting.
I glance over at him and smile, taking a sip of my white Russian. “It would seem so.” I reach out my hand. “By the way, I’m Vanessa Baker, Nicole’s stepsister.”
Lorenzo chuckles and shakes my hand. “Lorenzo, the grump who has no desire to get married.”
He orders a whiskey and Coke, and I raise a brow.
“Figured one couldn’t hurt.” He shrugs. “And after watching them exchange their vows, I need something stronger than Coke.”
“I hear ya,” I tell him, just as my phone buzzes in my clutch.
I pull it out, assuming it’s my mother again, only to find a text from Eric.
Asshole (Eric)
This little stunt isn’t going to keep you safe.
The room begins to spin.
And my head goes fuzzy.
My heart pounds erratically behind my rib cage.
He knows that I know …
What else could he mean?
I reach into my clutch and discreetly grab one of my nondrowsy pills, popping it into my mouth and swallowing it down with a sip of my drink.
He knows … and he’s going to come for me if I don’t do something to stop him.
I look over at Lorenzo, who’s once again staring at his phone.
“I need to take this,” he murmurs, stepping away from the bar to take the call.
I glance at his drink, and a horrible idea comes to me as I recall what Nicole said the other day.
“They’re loyal to those they care about.… When you’re linked to them, they’ll make sure you’re protected.”
I reach into my clutch once again, grabbing three of my nighttime antianxiety pills. I quickly drop them into Lorenzo’s drink and then say a silent prayer, asking for forgiveness for what I’m about to do.