Chapter 20
20
Julie
Canceling might have been the better idea. Julie had hoped that the drive to Connor’s would help even out her emotions, and it had a little… but she was still pissed. At the world. At society. At men. Even knowing Connor was nothing like that asshole Don didn’t totally help because then she just felt guilty about subjecting him to her bad mood. He didn’t deserve that. He sure as hell hadn’t earned it.
But here she was. As much as she’d wanted to go home and just rage privately, she hadn’t wanted to cancel the date.
Especially after he’d texted her a picture of the brisket he was smoking. He’d smoked a whole brisket for her. That was expensive. And time-consuming. She would have felt so bad about canceling, knowing all the time, money, and effort he’d put into dinner with her.
I’m mad at the world, and everything I can’t do to right its wrongs didn’t seem like a good enough reason to hurt his feelings.
At the same time, she could feel how on edge she was. Connor deserved a better date. A better version of her. One that was focused on him and properly appreciative of everything he’d done for her. Not one that was distracted by how shitty the world was and how unfair it was that Dickhole Don got to run around harassing and intimidating Cassidy with impunity.
Closing her eyes, she took several deep breaths. In through her nose. Out through her mouth. In through her nose. Out through her mouth. While she did so, she pictured balling up all her negative energy, all her anger, all her frustration and sending it straight into orbit into the sun to explode in fiery demolition.
Too bad she couldn’t do the same thing to Dickhole.
Stop it. You’re ruining the exercise.
Yeah, well, sometimes the exercises didn’t help as much as she wanted them to, but it had helped a little. She felt a bit looser, a tad freer. The important thing that she needed to remember was Cassidy was safe, and she would be even safer in Pittsburgh, surrounded by an elite security team. She might even be able to find happiness. She was incredibly lucky to have such an option.
Giving herself a little shake, Julie lifted her chin and started up the walkway toward the house, taking in the details for the first time. It was a cute blue house with white shutters, one story, with a well-maintained lawn. The front of the house was lined with bushes, the kind that didn’t need much care other than the occasional trim but added to the overall picturesque quality of the house. There were two trees on either side of the house—and a little in front of it—creating a natural kind of frame. The leaves on the branches had started to turn, adding a pop of yellow and rusty orange to the scenery.
The front door, which matched the white shutters, opened before she reached it, and there was Connor, filling the doorframe behind the storm door. He raised his eyebrows at her as he pushed the storm door open and stepped to the side for her to enter.
Just seeing him made her feel a little better. So maybe she could hold it together to give him a nice date night after all. She still thought he deserved better than her current mood, but she’d do her best.
“Hi,” she said, smiling up at him and pausing in the doorway to go up on her tiptoes and collect a kiss. He bent his head down, a small brush of the lips as she passed, which left her wanting a little more.
“Hey. Everything okay?” he asked, closing the door behind her while she looked around the space.
The door opened into a great room, basically, since the whole area had an open floor plan, making the most of the square footage. It was a cozy space. To her right was a living area with a small sectional, an entertainment center and television, and two bookcases, although only one had actual books on it.
On the left was the dining area with a table with four chairs, though it could probably fit six more if a chair was placed on either end. Just past that was the kitchen, which was set up a little like a galley kitchen, but one side of the wall was open, with the counter creating an overhang. Bar stools were tucked underneath, providing another area for sitting and eating if someone didn’t want to use the table. It also doubled as prep space and a serving area.
“Yeah… just a long day.”
“I was starting to wonder if you were going to come in.”
She turned to look at him again. There was a bit of hesitation in his expression. Damn. He must have been watching her standing out there, debating on whether or not a date was actually a good idea.
“I just needed a few moments to gather myself,” she replied with an apologetic smile. “Nothing to do with you. It was just a really long day. I can’t really talk about it, though, because it had to do with a client.”
“Gotcha.” Sympathy replaced hesitation in his expression. “Can I get you something to drink? I’ve got water, wine, or beer. Or something stronger if you want.”
“Water to start and wine with dinner sounds great.” She’d forgotten to eat a snack today, so she’d save the alcohol until she had something in her stomach in hopes that it wouldn’t hit her so hard.
“Great.” He headed to the kitchen, and she breathed in, happily sighing at the scent of well-roasted meat.
“That smells incredible.” Following him toward the kitchen, she veered off to the left to pull out one of the stools and sit on the other side of the counter to watch him. There was a large bowl on the counter full of salad and what she assumed was the brisket resting under a cloth on a wooden cutting board.
“Good. Hopefully, it tastes incredible, too.” He gave her a little wink before opening one of the cabinet doors to pull out a water glass, pivoting to the fridge’s water dispenser to fill it up. “Ice?”
“No, thank you.” Yes, she knew it was weird, but ice made water too cold, then her teeth ached.
If Connor thought it was odd, it didn’t show. He just filled up the cup and passed it across the counter to her.
“The bread is almost ready, then we’ll be able to eat.” He grinned at her, seemingly very pleased with himself.
Julie couldn’t help but smile back. Yes, just being around Connor made her feel better. He was a nice reminder that there were good men out there. Men who were nothing like Dickhole Don. Men who didn’t tolerate men like Dickhole.
Which was why Dickhole had gotten himself kicked out of the club. Too bad there hadn’t been anything more they could do.
“How was your day?” she asked, lifting her glass to take a sip, which ended up turning into a gulp. She was thirstier than she’d realized.
“Pretty good. A couple of my coworkers are intent on trying to figure out who I’m dating.” His eyes sparkled with mischief while he opened the oven door.
Damn, that smelled good, too. Maybe part of her problem was that she was hangry.
“I figure I’ll give them a little more time to spin their wheels before I tell them your name.”
Julie laughed.
“Isn’t it amazing how people can get so caught up in what’s going on in someone else’s life?” she asked, shaking her head. “At least that’s not something I need to worry about at work.”
She had her own practice and no coworkers, and her clients definitely weren’t asking about her dating life. Not even the ones who were members of Stronghold and Marquis. They might ask her about it outside of their appointments but not during. Her whole day was about other people, with no one poking in her business, which was normally how she liked it.
“It was more fun when it wasn’t aimed at me,” he admitted with a chuckle. “I think the bread’s ready.”
“Mm, that smells amazing.” She loved the smell of fresh baked bread. And meat. Her stomach rumbled, making Connor raise his eyebrows at her again. Blushing, she put her hand on her stomach. “I might have missed eating my afternoon snack today.”
“Well, then, let’s get you fed.” He winked at her, pulling the bread out of the oven.
It looked as good as it smelled, and Julie sighed happily.
Connor
Julie had been wound up tight when she’d first arrived at his house—Connor had been able to see it in the set of her shoulders, the tightness of her jaw, and the stiff way she’d moved.
Food had made a difference. While she hadn’t been able to talk about whatever was bothering her, he managed to make her smile as he told her about the conversation he’d had with Asad earlier that day. Asad had called him to ask for strap-on recommendations.
“I told him he should probably ask you.” Connor chuckled, shaking his head.
“Is he actually going to go through with it?”
“Maybe. He hates being left out of things. Or being told he can’t do something. I think the bigger question is whether or not Morgan would do it.”
Though, if Asad wanted it badly enough… Connor had to shake his head again.
“You have to admire a man who’s secure in himself.” The small smile danced on her lips.
As much as Connor wanted to be the one making her smile, he would take what he could get. Especially when her smile dipped a moment later, as if an unwelcome thought had suddenly occurred to her.
Whatever was bothering her, he’d be willing to bet it was something to do with a man.
Reaching across the table, he slid his hand around hers, grabbing her attention, and she looked up at him. The little smile returned to her lips as she focused on him, which was definitely gratifying.
“You’re still out of sorts.” He didn’t ask it as a question; it was a statement. He didn’t want her to try to deflect with her answer.
Julie sighed, turning her hand so she could hold his, her fingers moving over his wrist.
“I am. It’s not your fault, though. Dinner was wonderful. You’ve been wonderful.” The smile she bestowed upon him now was a little crooked. Her free hand toyed with the stem of her wineglass. Yes, she’d relaxed, but not enough as far as he was concerned.
“Take it out on me.”
“What?” She blinked owlishly at him, clearly taken aback by the sudden demand.
“I can see you’ve got something you’re holding back. You can’t tell me about it.” He shrugged. “But you can take it out on me. I can take it. I’ll probably even enjoy it.”
Staring at him for a long moment, Julie lifted the wine glass to her lips, taking a long sip. Not once did she look away from him, and he knew she was considering it.
“That doesn’t seem fair to you,” she finally said slowly as she put the wineglass back down. “You’re not the reason for my bad mood. In fact, you’ve improved my mood greatly.”
“And I’d like to do it some more.” He raised his eyebrows at her. “Besides, it’s not like it’s something you’re secretly doing—which wouldn’t be fair. I’m making a request. You’ve got some pent-up frustrations from your day. I’m both able and willing to let you vent on me a bit.”
What that would look like, he didn’t know, but he was pretty sure it would end in an orgasm, and that tended to be a pretty good mood enhancer.
Her finger tapped against the inside of his wrist while she considered his offer. He could practically see the wheels turning in her head, trying to figure out what she might do to him. Just knowing she was thinking about it made his heart start to race, his breath coming a little faster and a little more shallowly.
“Very well,” she said after a long moment, a wicked gleam growing in her eyes. “I accept your offer.”