Chapter 9 - Simon
Selene is still sitting on my lap, curled up against me, telling me the story I have been waiting to hear for five years.
The reason she left. My head is spinning with thoughts, and my heart is wild with emotions.
I can’t believe she is finally telling me the truth.
She is finally ending my years of living in this empty space of not knowing.
Her scent washes over me, teasing me, making me think of how I used to hold her. The tenderness of her voice, the softness of her hair against my cheek, it’s all making me wish for things that are long gone. Things I want back, but don’t know if it would ever be possible.
I am filled with longing. A deep need to feel the same love from her that I once felt.
But as she speaks, other emotions overtake the longing.
She tells me about her father, about the torture he inflicted on her over the years. She leaves out the details but says enough to make my blood boil. She tells me how he is the reason she could never come and find me, how she is the reason she had to make the choices she made.
My heart is beating so hard against my ribs that I can barely contain the anger building inside me. Her father did this to her… and to me. Her father stole my family from me. My children, the love of my life…
What kind of monster does that to his own daughter? To his grandchildren?
“You were a prisoner in his home?” I ask, gritting my teeth so that I don’t end up taking my anger out on her. Already, I am holding her a little tighter.
“Yes. For five years, he watched every move I made. He didn’t let me leave unless it was for a doctor’s appointment or something he had sanctioned. And I had to take his guards with me. Not to keep me safe, but to stop me from running. Most of the time, I wasn’t even allowed to take the children.”
“So, the twins?” I ask, my voice breaking, “Their childhood? Their … their happiness? Did they get to explore and play outside, go to the park, and have friends?”
She shakes her head. “No. They didn’t. Once in a blue moon. But we didn’t get to celebrate birthdays unless it was done in secret.” Her voice is rich with guilt.
“I’m sorry, Simon. I did my best to hide the circumstances from them.
I tried to keep them from my father’s wrath as much as I could.
Mostly I succeeded. But he has a mean streak.
Luckily, almost all of it was taken out on me.
But he shouted at them like they meant nothing.
When I could play games with them in the mansion, hide and seek, pirate treasure hunting, but when he got home, I would send them to hide in their room. I honestly did the best I could.”
I stroke my fingers through her hair, feeling the soft, silky strands move over my skin. “He hurt you?” I ask, not wanting to hear the answer, but needing clarity on the pieces she briefly skimmed over.
“He was… brutal.” Her voice is tight with the memories of what he did to her.
She doesn’t say more than that, but it’s enough.
I pull her close to my chest again. “I’m so sorry you went through that alone, Selene. I wish… I wish things had been different,” I say.
“Me too,” she answers quietly, nuzzling her face against me, closing her eyes, and letting out a soft huff as though she wishes to release all of the bad memories with it.
My body is humming at the closeness, her warmth, her scent.
But right now, the anger is stronger than anything else.
“I want to kill him,” I murmur, more to myself than to her.
“I wanted that for years, too. But he’s my father.
And I don’t think it would fix anything.
I didn’t want to become the same type of monster as him.
Leaving was a better choice. And I did that.
I escaped. I got away from him…” she sighs.
“But he is still hunting us. I don’t know what to do.
” Her voice breaks, and she starts crying.
My blood runs faster, and my heart beats harder as I listen to her. My protective instinct is overwhelmingly strong, stronger than I have ever felt before. I hold her tighter, whispering against her ear.
“Selene, I will never let him have you again. I am going to protect you and our children. I swear it. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe.”
She leans back and looks at me, her eyes wide and red from crying. They are glittering in the soft light of the living room.
“I know you want to protect us, but my father is strong. He’s stronger than you think,” she says, speaking through her fear.
I shake my head, brushing my fingers over her cheek. My eyes trace over her delicate, beautiful features. As beautiful as the day I met her, the day I fell in love with her. I always thought we would get married. Perhaps we still can…
“Your father has never come face-to-face with me,” I tell her.
She bites at her lip, not convinced. “He has connections everywhere.”
“He’s never faced the wrath of a Volkov after taking his family away,” I say to her, making my point.
“I assure you, he made a mistake when he took you away from me the first time. And it would be an even bigger mistake for him to try to take you again. I will tear him apart to keep you three safes.”
She takes a soft breath, her lips curving into a delicate smile.
I don’t know if she believes me, but she looks too exhausted to talk anymore. The emotions have drained her. Telling her story has stolen her energy.
Her beautiful green eyes are staring into mine, and it’s taking my breath away.
My eyes drift to her lips. Beautiful, soft, pink, and full of temptation.
I lean closer, wanting so badly to kiss her that I almost lose control of myself for a moment. But then I lean back, clearing my throat as I reach up and gently brush my thumb over her cheek. “You look tired,” I say. “You should get some rest.”
Now isn’t the time to take advantage of her. She needs to feel safe, not like she owes me something. Not that she would feel that way… safe… She still thinks I kidnapped her and my children. Maybe she even thinks that I am the same as her father in some ways?
Regardless. Now is not the time to kiss her. She is vulnerable. She just shared something intimate with me. She finally gave me answers.
Selene rests her head against the curve of my shoulder, still sitting curled on my lap. I hold her there, settling for this comfortable intimacy, even though I want so, so much more from her. We sit in silence. I feel her heartbeat and the warmth of her breath on my neck.
After a long while, her breathing changes, and her body relaxes a little bit more. She’s fallen asleep in my arms. The ache this gives me is intense.
I can’t bring myself to move for another hour as I sit there holding her, wishing for impossible things.
Finally, when I can barely keep my own eyes open, I lift her in my arms and quietly carry her to bed, tucking her beneath the covers of her own bed.
When I lean over her to gently kiss her cheek, she stirs for a moment. She whispers my name, and I freeze, hoping she will ask me to stay.
But she is fast asleep.
I brush my fingers over her cheek, down her neck.
“Sleep well, princess. You are safe with me.”
Walking out of her room is harder than I expected it to be. I want her to still be in my arms when I climb into my bed. I want her to fall asleep next to me instead of alone in the room across from mine.
Tonight meant more to me than she could ever imagine. Five years or waiting to understand. Desperate to understand. For five years, I developed theories and possibilities. Now, finally, she has told me.
Part of me is scared to believe her so easily. But my heart is ruling my head tonight.
And as I roll over and close my eyes, I am haunted by the idea that we can make it through this. The notion, no matter how crazy it seems, that we can find each other again.