Chapter Four
Alex
The shelter is smaller than it looked from outside. Maybe ten feet across, with the sleeping platform taking up a third of the space. I've been exploring it for the past hour while Vel'aan sits frozen against the wall, trying very hard not to watch me.
I'm not making it easy for him.
"What's this?" I ask, reaching over him to touch a panel on the wall. My chest is maybe three inches from his face, and his bioluminescence immediately flares gold.
"Environmental controls," he says, voice slightly strangled. "Temperature, humidity, air mixture."
"Cool." I don't move immediately, pretending to study the symbols. "And this one?"
"Pressure regulation."
"Important?"
"Very."
I finally step back, and he releases a breath. His skin is still pulsing with gold and blue patterns that I'm starting to recognize as attraction mixed with anxiety. At least I hope it's attraction. He's so hard to read.
The storm outside has gotten worse. Every few minutes something crashes into the shelter walls—zhik'ra torn from the sea floor, debris, the occasional confused fish. But the structure holds steady, barely even vibrating.
"Solid engineering," I comment, running my hand along the curved wall. The material is smooth, almost organic feeling. "What's it made of?"
"Bioengineered calcium carbonate composite." His eyes track my movement as I walk the perimeter of the small space. "Similar to shells but significantly stronger."
"Grown rather than built?"
"Everything here is grown." He shifts position slightly as I pass close to him again. "It's more efficient."
I've done three circuits of the shelter now, examining everything. The emergency supplies are interesting—packets of what looks like dried zhik'ra, water purification tablets, and some kind of emergency beacon.
"How often do you have to use these shelters?" I ask, settling on the platform. The surface gives slightly under my weight, adapting to my body shape.
"Few times a season. Depends on storm patterns."
"Always alone?"
"Always."
I stretch out on the platform, arms behind my head. It's actually comfortable, and the ambient temperature is perfect—warm enough that I don't miss my shirt. Vel'aan's gaze flickers to me, then away, then back again. His bioluminescence is doing interesting things.
"You can look," I say casually. "I don't mind."
His skin flares bright purple. "I wasn't—I was observing the storm."
"Through me?"
"Behind you. The wall is transparent."
"Mmhmm."
I roll onto my stomach, propping myself up on my elbows to watch the storm. This position happens to give him a pretty good view of my back and shoulders. His bioluminescence gets brighter.
"That's the third manta thing," I observe as another massive creature glides past. "Are they following us?"
"The shelter's bioluminescent emergency signals might attract them." He sounds like he's trying very hard to focus on marine biology. "They're curious creatures."
"Like you."
"I'm not curious."
"You've looked at me forty-seven times in the last hour."
"How could you possibly know that?"
"Your skin lights up every time. It's like a counter."
Silence. Then: "That's embarrassing."
"It's cute."
"I am not cute. I am a serious agricultural researcher."
"You're a seriously cute agricultural researcher who hasn't been close like this to another person in years."
"How do you know that?"
I roll over to look at him, which requires sitting up slightly. "Wild guess."
He's staring very deliberately at the wall now, but his peripheral vision is definitely taking me in. I stand and move to the emergency supplies again, this time crouching down to examine the lower storage compartments. This puts me right next to where he's sitting.
"What's this?" I hold up a sealed packet.
"Protein supplement."
"Edible?"
"For Nereidans. I don't know about human compatibility."
"Only one way to find out." I tear it open and try a small piece. It's chewy, salty, vaguely seafood-flavored. "Not bad. Kind of like jerky. Want some?"
"I'm not hungry."
"When did you last eat?"
He pauses. "Yesterday."
"Vel'aan."
"I don't require frequent meals."
"Everyone requires meals." I move to sit next to him, our shoulders almost touching. He goes very still. "Here."
I hold out a piece of the protein thing. He stares at it, then at my hand, like both might be dangerous.
"It's just food," I say softly.
He takes it carefully, making sure our fingers don't touch, and eats it mechanically. I stay where I am, close enough that I can feel the slight coolness his skin radiates. His bioluminescence is cycling through rapid patterns now.
"This is hard for you," I observe.
"What?"
"Me being close."
"It's... intense."
"Bad intense?"
"I don't know." He looks at me finally, those golden eyes uncertain. "You're very casual about physical proximity."
"And you're very not casual about it."
"I haven't had anyone this close in years."
"I know." I lean back against the wall, my shoulder now definitely touching his. He inhales sharply but doesn't pull away. "Is this okay?"
"Why are you doing this?"
"Doing what?"
"Sitting so close. Touching me. Being..." he gestures vaguely at me, "unclothed."
"I'm wearing underwear."
"Barely."
"It's warm in here. And I like being close to you." I turn my head to look at him. "Does it bother you?"
"No." The word comes out fast, desperate. "That's what bothers me."
A particularly large piece of debris slams into the shelter, making us both jump. The lights flicker for a second before stabilizing.
"Normal?" I ask.
"Within acceptable parameters."
"Good to know."
I stand up to check what hit us, pressing close to the transparent wall. It's another massive zhik'ra stalk, this one with some kind of creature still clinging to it. The animal looks like a cross between an octopus and a flower, with translucent petals that pulse with bioluminescence.
"Oh wow, what's that?"
Vel'aan stands to look, which puts him directly behind me. I can feel him there, not quite touching but close enough.
"Depth.... You would call it an anemone," he says near my ear. "They're usually much deeper. The storm must have displaced it."
"It's beautiful."
"It's also highly toxic."
"Beautiful things often are."
I lean back slightly, not enough to be obvious, just enough that my back barely grazes his chest. He makes a small sound, and his bioluminescence flares so bright it reflects off the walls.
"Sorry," I say, not moving. "Didn't mean to crowd you."
"You did that on purpose."
"Did what?"
"Leaned back."
"Prove it."
He's quiet for a moment, and I can feel him breathing, slightly faster than normal. "I should check the weather readings."
"Probably."
Neither of us moves. We stand there, barely touching, watching the storm. His bioelectric field is playing havoc with my nervous system, making me hyperaware of every point of almost-contact.
"The storm will continue for at least two more hours," he says finally.
"Good."
"Good?"
I turn around, which puts us face to face with barely inches between us. He's taller, so I have to look up, and his eyes are wide with something between panic and want.
"Yeah, good. I like being here with you."
"In a tiny shelter during a violent storm?"
"Anywhere, really. But this is nice. Intimate."
His skin cycles through about twelve colors in three seconds. "You're very direct."
"And you're very not. But your skin gives you away."
"That's unfair."
"What is?"
"You can see everything I'm feeling, but I can't read you at all."
"Sure you can." I take his hand, placing it on my chest over my heart. His bioluminescence goes supernova. "Feel that? Elevated heart rate. That's what you do to me."
"That could be storm anxiety."
"It's not."
"How do I know?"
"Because I'm telling you." I keep his hand pressed to my chest. "I've been thinking about you for ten years. And now you're here, and you're brilliant and awkward and gorgeous, and you light up like fireworks when I touch you."
"I can't control it," he says, looking at where his hand rests on my skin. "The bioluminescence. It just happens."
"I know. I like it."
"You like that I have no control over my physiological responses?"
"I like that you can't hide how you feel. It's honest."
We stand there, his hand on my chest, my hand covering his. The storm rages outside, but inside this tiny shelter, everything has gone still and charged.
"Can I tell you something?" I ask.
He nods, apparently not trusting his voice.
"I know you keep looking at me. And I know it affects you. And I've been making it worse by walking around half-naked and getting in your space."
"Why?"
"Because I like how you respond to me. I like that you can't help but look. I like that you want to touch me but won't let yourself."
His breathing is definitely faster now. "That's cruel."
"Maybe a little. But here's the thing—" I step even closer, our bodies almost touching. "You can touch me. If you want to. I wouldn't mind."
He stares at me, his hand still pressed to my chest, his entire body vibrating with tension. "I don't—I wouldn't know how—"
"However you want. Wherever you want. I'm giving you permission."
His free hand rises slowly, hesitantly, like he's not sure he's allowed despite what I just said. It hovers near my shoulder for a moment, then carefully, so carefully, his fingers brush my skin.
The reaction is immediate. His bioluminescence explodes in patterns I've never seen before—gold and blue and purple all swirling together like a living aurora. His fingers trail down my arm, barely touching, but leaving trails of sensation that make me shiver.
"Is this okay?" he whispers.
"Very okay."
His hand moves to my waist, fingertips tracing the line where my underwear sits low on my hips. I have to concentrate on breathing normally, on not moving, on letting him explore at his own pace.
"You're so warm," he says, wonder in his voice. "And your skin... the texture is so different."
"Different how?"
"Smoother. Softer."
His hand moves to my back, palm flat against my spine. We're so close now that I can feel the cool radiation from his skin, the way his bioluminescence actually generates a slight warmth when it flares. His hand is still on my chest, and he has to feel how my heart is racing.
"I don't know what I'm doing," he admits.
"You're doing fine."
"This isn't... I haven't..."
"I know. It's okay. We don't have to do anything. You can just touch."
So he does. For the next hour, while the storm rages, he maps my skin with careful fingers. My shoulders, my arms, the curve of my waist. He's fascinated by the differences—the way body hair feels, the temperature variations, the places that make me shiver.
I stay still, letting him explore, watching his face cycle through wonder and desire and confusion. His bioluminescence never calms, just shifts between different patterns of gold and blue.
"You can touch me too," he says eventually. "If you want."
"Yeah?"
He nods, and I raise my hand to his chest. His skin is cooler than human normal, with a subtle texture like silk. When I touch him, his bioluminescence follows my fingers, brightening wherever we make contact.
"That's amazing," I breathe, tracing patterns on his chest just to watch the light follow.
"It's involuntary," he says, embarrassed.
"It's beautiful."
We stand there, touching and being touched, until the storm finally begins to calm. Neither of us mentions it. Neither of us moves apart.
When the shelter's emergency beacon changes from red to yellow, indicating it's safe to surface, Vel'aan looks almost disappointed.
"We should go," he says, but doesn't step back.
"Should we?"
"The storm is passing."
"I know."
"Others will be checking their sections. They'll see us."
"So?"
He looks at me, confused. "So they'll know we were together."
"Is that bad?"
"I don't know. I've never... been together with anyone. Not like this."
I smile, running my hand down his arm one more time, watching the light follow. "Well, now you have."
His bioluminescence does that sunrise thing again—soft gold spreading slowly across his entire body.
"Yes," he says quietly. "Now I have."