Chapter 11
Captain’s Hall, Freedom
Robyn
I stumble into the hallway of Captain’s Hall, slamming the door shut behind me.
“Honey, I’m home,” I call with a grin.
I kick off my black heels and massage my bare calves. They’re aching from the wild dancing that always happens, whenever Cody and I get together.
It’s Michael’s fault. He hates dancing, although he loves to watch his husband shaking his ass.
How could I say no to my brother, even when he wanted us to do our high school routine to Shakira’s “Hips Don’t Lie”?
Hell, I’m a good sister.
I look around at the silent, shadowy hallway.
“Huh, no Shay.” I push my tangled hair out of my eyes.
Normally, he’d have bounded up to meet me like a dog does their owner by now.
I stayed out as long as I could to give Shay and D’Angelo the best chance on their first date. Eventually, however, even Neve kicked me out at the point that she was putting stools up on tables and turning off the lights.
If Shay’s not here, then the date must have gone well, right?
Silently, I pad toward the lounge.
Part of me wishes that I was drunk. But after the phone call from Melanie earlier, where she decided to go full on villain vibes with her whispered threats of knowing secrets, I haven’t been drinking.
In fact, it sobered me right the fuck up.
Who knew if she’d call back?
Is she blackmailing us?
Anxiety spikes through me. My mouth is dry.
Melanie is playing a dangerous game. And she plays dirty.
I’ll never forgive her for the way that she wrecked Cody at high school. She body shamed me at a time that was already tough, when I was grieving for my mom.
It was the way that she manipulated the gang of jocks and mean girls around her, however, to beat the shit out of my younger brother for sticking up for me, destroying his relationship with Dad in the process, that truly shows me the type of girl she was.
Now, how she’s hounding the man I love.
I don’t think that she’s changed at all.
Yet I have.
It’s her mistake not to realize that.
I’ll ask D’Angelo if he’ll do the interview but I can tell what his answer to her will be already.
It starts with fuck and ends with off.
Luckily, as his personal PR Director, I’ll turn it into something more diplomatic like he can’t fit Melanie into his busy schedule, since the season begins on Tuesday.
Then I’ll work with Eden to find out what’s really going on.
I peer into the lounge but stop myself calling out for Shay just in time.
I smile.
D’Angelo is lying on the couch. He’s still dressed in his suit, but his eyes are closed, and he’s sleeping.
Shay is naked, although a soft blanket is wrapped around his shoulders. He’s lying with his head resting on D’Angelo’s shoulder. His legs are tangled with D’Angelo’s, and fuck, his ass looks incredible at this angle.
Is that a handprint?
I lick my lips.
This is the hottest aftercare turned exhausted nap that I’ve ever seen.
I’m definitely getting all the details tomorrow.
For now, I tiptoe back into the hall, smiling to myself. Then I climb the stairs with a groan.
Shakira’s hips may not lie but mine are fucking sore.
This is what happens when you forget that you’re not still eighteen.
Cody didn’t appear to have the same problem. I think that he’ll be dancing on tables when he’s ninety.
When I reach the top of the stairs, I’m surprised to see that there’s light coming from the open doorway of the twins’ bedroom.
The twins are sharing the smallest bedroom in the mansion. I hope that it’s Dad being thoughtful, which he can manage sometimes, because he installed metal framed bunk beds, so that the twins could share the room.
They’ve never been separated before. They need to be close to function and feel safe. Knowing their troubled past, I understand why.
I hope that I can help them to begin to feel secure enough to spend increasing amounts of time apart.
There’s a closet and mirrored chest of drawers and wardrobe against one wall. On the far side is a large, arched window with gray drapes.
“Not able to sleep, huh?” I call out.
Then I stop in surprise.
Eden is sitting balanced on the open window ledge, precariously. His hand is outstretched toward the branch of the old oak that grows outside.
He’s as still as a statue, and as beautiful as a Greek one.
One with silver piercings through their nipples, which glint in the light.
My eyes widen in shock.
Fuck, what’s he doing? What if he falls?
Is he trying to climb out?
He isn’t going to jump, right?
My eyes widen.
“Eden, don’t…” I rush into the room.
Startled, Eden looks around.
He’s only dressed in gray joggers. The silver moonlight through the window glimmers across the pale skin of his bare chest and makes him look ethereal. It lights the flames of the phoenix on his back.
For a heart stopping moment, I think that he’s going to fall out, unable to stabilize himself with one of his arms still in a sling.
I dive to him, throwing my arms around his neck.
“I’ve got you,” I gasp. “What are you thinking? You can’t climb trees with busted ribs and your shoulder injury.”
Eden’s body is still purple and black with bruises. It makes my heart ache. I want to kiss each of them in turn.
Eden arches his pierced eyebrow. “You scared away Puck.”
“Who?”
“My squirrel.”
He glances at me out of the corner of his eye like he expects me to make fun of him or take away his right to his new pet.
“Good name.” I peer out of the window at the tiny red squirrel with tufted ears and a pointed face that’s scampering away down the tree. I can’t hold back the laugh. “Would you mind moving back from the window, before I have a heart attack? I’ve had enough nasty surprises tonight. Puck will have to go to sleep.”
“He should be in his nest sleeping anyway. He likes to say goodnight.”
“You really do like animals, huh?”
Eden glances down. “They don’t make demands. They’re easier to understand than humans. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a vet.”
“What changed?”
Eden’s expression tightens, although he allows me to tug him away from the open window. He’s cold, and I run my hands up and down his arms to warm him up.
“Nothing changed. Ice hockey happened.” Eden’s serious stormy gray eyes meet mine.
My chest tightens. “So, are you waiting up for your brother?”
He nods. “It’s a big night for him.”
He looks as anxious as a parent on prom night.
It’s not only Shay’s first date with D’Angelo, of course. It’s also Shay’s first time bottoming with a man. I trust D’Angelo to be both careful and make it good for him.
But still, for both men, their pasts mean that that it’s more complicated than normal.
I trace down the strong muscles of Eden’s chest. “I peeked into the lounge. They’ve fallen asleep together on the couch. Let’s just say that it looks like they had a very good date.”
Eden’s expression is inscrutable. “Jude had better have made sure that it was the best first date, or I’ll cut off his balls.”
I laugh and then realize that Eden’s not joking. “Shay’s fine.”
Eden scrunches up his nose. “I can’t tell these things. He sent me a whole string of emojis, including egg plants and peaches. I still don’t have the heart to tell him that I don’t know what they mean.”
I chuckle, pulling him to sit on the bottom bunk, which has scarlet bedding. “I think they mean that he had a really good time.”
“This is Shay’s bed,” Eden protests.
“I’m not clambering onto the top bunk,” I reply. “Who got to claim which bed? Did you arm wrestle or something for it?”
Eden cards his fingers through his slicked back hair. “Shay’s an insomniac. He needs the bed that means he can get up and down a lot without waking me. He’s always had the bottom bunk.”
“And has he always had insomnia?”
“If that’s what you want to call nightmares.” He hesitates, before offering, “Why don’t we have our own date now?”
“I’d like that.”
I smooth my hand over the covers. They’re messy and unmade. When I glance above my head, I can see that the top bunk is made with military precision.
I should have been able to tell which bed belonged to which twin.
The only thing out of place on the top bunk is a book, which is lying open: Angela Carter’s The Magic Toyshop.
Eden’s borrowed (stolen) it from my own book collection. I recommended it at our last book club for two.
Eden always quietly reads my recommendations, and that always makes something warm unfurl in my chest.
It’s a rush, a unique type of intimacy, reading the same book as someone but also knowing that they’re going to escape into a new world, simply on your word alone.
That’s a type of trust.
Plus, we try to read side by side in bed together at night for half an hour. I never thought that I’d want that because my ex would have laughed in my face, if I’d suggested it. With Eden, however, it’s my secret indulgence like eating ice cream from the tub or not wearing a bra on Sundays.
I cherish those quiet times in bed with Eden, before Shay bounces in to join us with D’Angelo prowling after him.
Before Eden, I didn’t realize how powerful silence could be.
I nod at the book. “So, what do you think of it?”
Eden’s gaze doesn’t leave mine. “Beautiful. Dark. It shows how people can play each other like puppets. Sometimes, you can only start your new life by burning down your old one.”
Perhaps, it wasn’t the best book to recommend.
“I guess.” I push a strand of hair behind my ear. “Did you do that? Burn down your old life?”
Something flickers behind Eden’s eyes that I don’t understand. “I thought about it. But I was the one who burned.”
Uncomfortable, I’m hyper aware of the phoenix tattoo on his back.
I reach to cup Eden’s cheek. “But you were reborn from the ash, right? You’ll always be reborn.”
He nods.
Then I notice that a sheet of folded yellow paper is sticking out of the book.
My face lights up. “You made notes!”
I reach for the book, grasping it by the corner.
“Don’t,” Eden says, alarmed.
The note flutters out and lands on my lap.
When Eden slaps his large hand onto the note, his hand covers my crotch.
I arch my eyebrow. “Hmm, that feels nice. I didn’t know that talking about books was code for sex but I’m down with that.”
Eden snatches his hand back, flushing. “Sorry.”
I glance down at the note but I don’t open it. If he doesn’t want me to read it, then I won’t embarrass him. Perhaps, it’s a poem or the long promised chores rota for the household.
That would make D’Angelo happy.
Finally.
But then I see the underlined title that’s scrawled on the top:
Ten Reasons I Love Robyn
My heart beats faster.
Joy soars through me.
He loves me…and for ten different reasons.
My face warms. “At a wild guess, this isn’t a blog post. That would kind of defeat the whole secret relationship thing we have going on.”
When I glance up, my gaze meets Eden’s unreadable one.
He moves even closer to me on the bed. He takes the paper from my hand, pushing himself up and placing it back in the book like it’s a relic.
He stands with his back turned to me.
Shit.
“I can’t say these things out loud,” he finally says, still turned away. “But I can put them down on paper.”
I clench my hands on my lap. “I didn’t mean to see it like that.”
“It’s good. Now, I don’t have to work out how to tell you. I could add them to our Guide. I’ve been trying to work out how I can become a part of your Guide. I want to fit in this relationship. I need to find my place.”
“I’d love that. It’d be perfect. D’Angelo already has the smutty stickmen drawings sorted.”
“And Shay has all the kinks that he wants to explore with D’Angelo and you written at the back with marks out of ten.”
Wow, thorough.
I should have known that Shay would do something like that.
The muscles in Eden’s strong shoulders bunch, and it looks like the phoenix on his back taking flight.
“This is new to me. These feelings.” When Eden turns back to me, I’m floored by the depth of emotions in his beautiful eyes. “I didn’t think that I’d care for anybody but Shay. But you’re different. I know pain, but you make me feel like I may learn to feel pleasure too. I want to try. I need to know that there’s more to life than surviving suffering.”
My throat is thick with tears.
I leap up from the bed and grasp his arm.
Careful of Eden’s injured shoulder, I pull him around to face me. “I promise, we’ll work this out together. There’s so much pleasure in the world. I don’t only mean the sexy kind. Hell, you already have a pet squirrel and a book club, as well as a family and a home here. I know that it’s not the job that you hoped for, but tomorrow, we’ll go to the rink when the guys are fitting in some practice over the weekend, and I can start introducing you to staff. That way, it won’t be overwhelming, when the PA role begins on Monday. I think that you’ll be surprised how much you’ll shine.”
Eden looks troubled. “I don’t know anybody.”
His social anxiety is going to make this tough for him.
I’m going to figure out a way to make this work. The fact that he’s been brave enough to take this on and is holding himself back from complaining, makes me respect the hell out of him.
“I’ll be with you,” I reassure him. “If we do the introductions one to one, then it’ll help. Normally, you can do correspondence however you like. I’m guessing that you’ll prefer online. Most of the time, you can work from home. Already, you help me with research. You’re organized and committed. You have a player’s perspective on hockey.”
Eden’s eyes dance with amusement. “I’m hiring you as a cheerleader.”
“It’s okay, I come free with the job.” I go on tiptoes to kiss him, deep and tender. I will him to believe me. “You’re smart. You can beat your brother at chess and poker, and he’s a genius. You’re going to kick ass as a PA.”
Eden’s eyes darken. “I fucking adore you. There, I said it. I’d like to make this my big night too. I want you to be my first and also my last. My only.”
My breath hitches.
His only.
Eden doesn’t speak much. So, when he does, you need to listen.
What he’s just confessed is more powerful than a marriage proposal.
How can I turn it down?
Why would I want to?
My pulse is roaring in my ears. My eyes sting.
When Eden reaches to wrap his arm around me, I catch sight of the black roses with thorn tattoos that wind around it.
He won’t only know surviving suffering.
It’s time to show him pleasure.
“I want to be that for you so fucking much,” I murmur.
Eden studies me for a long moment, before he nods.
“Undress,” he commands.
He lets go of me and watches with hungry eyes, as I wriggle out of my cotton, green dress. Then he drops his hand to my hip, before kneeling and dragging my lace panties off for me.
Somehow with Eden the gesture is gentlemanly.
I step out of my panties.
He stares up at me for a long moment, tracing teasing circles on my hip. “May I?”
I nod.
He leans forward, pressing a reverential kiss onto my clit. I open my legs with a sigh, as he swipes his tongue down my pussy.
I clench my hands in his hair, struggling not to come just at the sensation of his tongue circling my clit.
Then I urge him to stand up because I want this to be about his pleasure too. He looks confused but lies on his back on the bunk bed.
He pushes the cover back, looking satisfied when he holds up a condom that was hidden underneath the messy bedding. “Shay always leaves them lying around.”
“Fuck, this is your brother’s bed.”
“Revenge for all the times he fucked people in my bed at college.”
I laugh, swooping to capture Eden’s plush lips that have almost quirked into a smile.
“Revenge will definitely add some spice.” I bend to drag Eden’s joggers down, which catch on his large cock that’s already at half-mast. And is gorgeous. “But I know where I want to start. Let’s see if your piercings make you as sensitive as I hope they will.”
Eden’s breathing picks up. His pupils are dilated.
He likes the thought of that.
I straddle his hips, deliberately wriggling my bare ass against his hard cock. I lean down and lick over his pierced nipple.
Instantly, it peaks.
His chest begins to rise and fall rapidly.
He doesn’t need words.
He’s beautifully responsive without them.
I alternate flicking and rubbing over each of his nipples, while leaning over and licking. I let my hair sweep across his skin.
Every time that I lick, Eden’s breath hitches in an adorable way.
His pupils are blown wide.
I glance at him from underneath my lashes. “Okay?”
He nods.
Eden’s nipples are just as sensitive as I’d hoped. I bet that I could get him to come merely by playing with them alone.
But not tonight.
I have a different use for his cock tonight.
When I tap the silver piercing on his right nipple, his dick twitches beneath me.
“Robyn…” Eden murmurs.
He tangles his hand in my hair, tugging me up to kiss me, passionately.
Our tongues twine.
Eden smells freshly of sweet vanilla.
I moan, as his hand tightens in my hair. Then I break away, and he loosens his hand in my hair, stroking down my neck.
I shiver. My skin tingles.
When I reach beneath me to run my fingers over Eden’s cock, he groans.
He feels as hard as steel underneath the velvety softness. I’m fucking wet too.
Our gazes meet, and it’s electric.
I’m glad that we waited, until we knew each other properly to do this because it means so fucking much to Eden. Shay isn’t the same as his brother, nor is D’Angelo.
I’ve spent plenty of nights with different partners that didn’t mean anything romantically to me because sex is fun, stress relief, or feels so fucking good.
Yet Eden has never had a girlfriend or a one-night stand.
When he passes the condom to me, it feels like a sacred ritual.
I bend to kiss him again as I sheath his cock.
“I love you,” I whisper.
Eden’s eyes widen.
Then he smiles.
He fucking smiles.
At the same moment, I rise up and slowly lower myself onto his dick.
I gasp. “Hell, you’re big.”
He takes a shuddering breath, tightening his hold on my hip.
“Fuck…” His eyes are wide with wonder.
He stares at me like I’m a goddess.
He feels incredible, stretching me. I bite my lip, tossing my hair over my shoulder and arching my back.
I rest my hands on Eden, pinning him down. I ride him faster and faster, ignoring my tired muscles. He’s still hurt. I’m going to do all the work.
He’s dominant, but this is about me taking care of him.
I’ll show him how much pleasure I can give him but also, how easy this can be. He doesn’t need to give or work every time.
Eden spends his life caring for everyone else.
Sometimes, he can lie back and let someone else ride him to the best orgasm of his fucking life.
Eden reaches up to cup my breast. His eyelashes flutter closed. “I’m going to… This feels…”
Neither of us are going to last long.
I don’t want us to.
My sweaty hair hangs over my face, as I lean forward now, desperate to kiss Eden again.
He eagerly accepts my kiss, looking overwhelmed by the sensations.
His eyes open and meet mine.
Ecstasy is winding through me as well, coiled tightly through me. I can control everything in this position: the speed, angle, and rhythm. I’m positioned on top in such a way that my clit is being rubbed on each downward thrust.
Sparks fly through me, making me shiver.
“You’re beautiful,” Eden murmurs like he can’t hold in the words. He’s panting. The pulse is fluttering wildly in his throat. “When I’m healed, I can’t wait to bend you over this bed and make you come, over and over and over and…”
Then his back arches, and his hands clutch at the sheets.
He groans as he comes.
I balance with one hand on Eden’s chest, and with the other, I touch my clit, rubbing circles to help tip myself over the edge.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” I scream.
I come, staring into Eden’s eyes — seeing the spark of pleasure. And hoping that tomorrow, I can protect him from pain.