Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Clara tried to steady her nerves as she mentally prepared what she was going to say to Lawrence.
She had worked herself into a right tizz by the time she knocked on his office door to let him know that she was handing in her notice after all these years.
She bravely rehearsed the words she was about to say.
Unfortunately, though, she was greeted with Lawrence telling her to return later as he was having a meeting with Professor Binton. She wondered if it was a sign. What if she wasn’t meant to give in her notice? Was it too late to back out?
No, she had accepted the position last night and, besides, her fate was sealed further when Lawrence caught up with her mid-morning.
‘Sorry about that earlier. What was it you wanted to talk about? You looked concerned. Is everything okay?’
She thought of suggesting some spurious excuse but Eleanora would never forgive her. She was rooting for her to take this position. The job at Cambridge had come into her life for a reason and now she must go with her fate.
So, as Lawrence stood there waiting for an answer, Clara blurted it out completely differently to how she had planned it in her head.
‘Notice. I have to give you. Leaving. I’m sorry. Have another job.’
‘Say that again?’
Clara snorted. She needed to be strong. There was nothing to be afraid of. She would have to tell Lawrence the news before HR contacted him.
‘I’ve been offered a new position as senior chaplain. I’m afraid that I have to give you my notice. I’m moving to King’s College in Cambridge. I hope it’s okay but they’ll require a reference.’
‘Gosh, I wasn’t expecting this news today. What a shock. I’m obviously devastated to be losing such a wonderful member of staff, although I do understand. That’s a fantastic position for you. I suppose I should congratulate you. You do deserve it.’
‘Thank you for being so understanding. Here’s my resignation letter,’ said Clara, handing him her carefully prepared handwritten letter that she wrote before work.
Clara almost felt disappointed. In some ways she had wanted Lawrence to beg her to stay.
Tell her she was truly irreplaceable and that he’d give her a salary increase, a promotion – anything to keep her.
Then she could stay in Oxford and not have to leave everyone behind.
Although she was also relieved that Lawrence hadn’t taken the news too badly.
She hated letting people down even though she knew he had time to find a replacement.
‘If I’m honest with you, I think you’ll make an absolutely wonderful senior chaplain. Our loss is their gain. You’ll be very much missed though, Clara.’
She smiled, pleased that at least she would be missed.
‘Thank you. That means a lot. I’ll miss you all, too. I can’t imagine not working with you all, but it’s such a promotion. I can’t really turn it down even though I don’t actually want to leave, just so you know.’
Clara was practically backtracking already.
She had worked here forever and now she was leaving her comfy role.
She reminded herself that she wanted to do something daring, something exhilarating.
She couldn’t stay in the same place all her life, even though she knew how hard it would be to say goodbye to all her lovely colleagues and the worshippers.
Clara desperately tried to dismiss her hesitation.
She still had over a month or so left, she had a little time before she had to say her goodbyes. She would face that when it came to it.
She thought again of Tom. Now that she’d informed Lawrence, it wouldn’t be long before the congregation and his fellow choristers heard the news.
Should she at least tell him that much? Clara battled with the thought but decided it was better he didn’t know anything about it at all.
She figured that he wouldn’t have much contact with the outside world where he was, and because he didn’t want anyone to find out where he was, the chances of him hearing the news from anyone else was slim.
Flora, the chapel clerk, had already overheard the news and rushed out to buy some congratulatory chocolates.
She had joined the chapel around four years earlier and Clara admired the way she used any excuse to buy chocolates for everyone.
Flora had once even bought a box of Roses for all to celebrate when her cat came home from the vet after being castrated.
‘Ooh, do you mind if I take two hazelnut whirls?’ asked Clara.
‘Take three. We are celebrating your success after all. I’m so proud of you.’
‘You’re such a sweetheart, thank you.’
Clara joined in with the celebrations as everyone around her congratulated her.
Yet, as much as she munched on chocolate, and revelled in her moment of glory, she felt slightly sad.
St Peter’s Chapel was full of cherished memories that had been created by the people she adored and she worried that nothing could ever compare with the wonderful life she had enjoyed in Oxford.