Secrets (The Infidelity Trilogy #2)

Chapter 1

One

S teph was just pulling into her parking space having spent another half an hour in the bathroom at work, then another half an hour parked round the corner where she had succumb to more tears, and then had driven to the park near her childhood home and sat on the bench she’d so often shared with her mum for at least an hour. Remembering that her phone was still on silent she fished it from her bag to see she had messages queueing. The first one was from Rosie.

Hope u r feeling a bit better about things. These things do have a way of sorting themselves out. Chin up. X

Steph quickly replied.

Thank you for messaging and today. X

Then she saw five messages from Jon, seven missed calls and three voicemails.

The first text was timed just after she had left his office before Lucy appeared. She smiled when she realised he had regretted how things had turned out between them as much as she had.

We need to talk. I think we both reacted badly to each other. Jon x

The second and third were while she was still in the ladies, but presumably after Lucy had left.

Darling I get that you are probably still mad with me, maybe madder now. But I need to speak to you. Call me. Jon x

Please call me. I can’t find you. Jon x

Then the fourth and fifth.

This is becoming silly, I have tried calling you several times now and you appear to be ignoring me. So how are we supposed to sort this out? Jon x

Call me now, assuming you want to resolve things. Jon x

She listened to the voice mails that reinforced his text messages except the fourth one.

“Steph will you please contact me? This is childish . . . unless you can’t respond. Shit!” Then the message ended.

She smiled that he sounded really worried about her when he possibly thought she may have been involved in an accident or had some kind of mishap. That seemed slightly warped that she was pleased that he sounded so concerned for her safety. He was right, although the situation wasn’t silly, their current dealing of it was. She hit the reply button and composed her message thoughtfully.

Sorry phone was on silent still. I am able to respond. I am very tired so think I may just have a bath and an early night. I am sorry how things turned out this afternoon. It is not how I anticipated the day ending. I hate rowing with you, proper rowing. Maybe we can talk tomorrow or Friday as I am likely to cry like a big girl if we talk tonight, sorry. Lucy seems lovely, although I would rather I hadn’t met her properly. Now she is real and I am unsure how that makes me feel beyond insecure. Steph x

I don’t think this was the end to the day either of us had anticipated, but early night may be a good idea. I do want to talk to you, but don’t want to make you cry, even if I already have, sorry. I hate proper rowing too. We will talk tomorrow then, after work. I have prior commitments tonight and have been forced to attend some charity dinner but will have my phone with me if you want/need to contact me. Forget about Lucy for now, she is not as real as you think and there is no reason for you to feel insecure. Jon x

She reread his message and was unclear what half of it meant but assumed that he would be attending the charity dinner with his wife. That word alone was enough to make her feel like crying again, that and the prior commitment , but she didn’t, she replied to his message.

I have just remembered that I am going to see Lindsay tomorrow night to find our girly holiday destination. Steph x

Of course. I have agreed to meet with Charlie but you could come back here afterwards, if you want to. I really would like that. Jon x

With a small smile that he wasn’t insisting or just assuming that she’d see him the following night she sent a final text and hoped it came across without any inferences or barbed edges.

Ok. C u tomorrow, have a good night. Steph x

Ok. Night will be boring and long without you. But darling, you are going to have to hear what I need to say eventually Jon x

Gazing down at his final message and rereading it for the third or fourth time she was in no doubt that she was being served notice on her refusal to talk or listen about his wife.

After a restless night’s sleep she woke with a fuzzy head, but as she waited for the kettle to boil after she’d showered she grinned down at her phone as she saw a message from Jon.

Morning darling, hope you slept well. I can’t wait to see you later. Jon x

Good morning, I am looking forward to seeing you too. Steph x

She arrived for work early and as she entered legal was glad she had gone for a more sombre look of a plain black trouser suit with a soft grey blouse and matching heels of just two inches. If nothing else it matched her mood, but it was more than that. This type of outfit made her feel safe, as though the plain simplicity of it allowed her to blend into the background and right now, the background, out of sight seemed like the best place in the world. She headed towards Steve’s office and was met by his P.A. Hannah.

“Hi Steph, Steve is on leave today so he arranged for you to use his office and I am at your disposal.” She smiled and curtseyed making Steph laugh.

“Thank you, I appreciate it.”

She turned her laptop on and went to make some coffee for her and Hannah which is where Dave caught up with her.

“Miss Pryor,” came his voice from behind her causing a shudder to wash over her body. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, wondering if he would just go again if she ignored him now, but he persisted. “Can we talk, well, can I talk? I owe you an apology and an explanation.” He sounded gentler and calmer than he ever had with her before.

She turned to face him and he looked friendlier than he had during their previous encounters, more genuine. “Okay. Would you like coffee?” she offered.

“Please.” He smiled. “Milk, no sugar.”

“Sweet enough, eh?” She immediately regretted her instinctive and tongue in cheek comment. “Sorry, that wasn’t meant to sound so bitchy. Shall we go back to Steve Cannon’s office? That’s where I am based today,” she explained.

They sat uncomfortably for a few seconds before Dave said, “I should apologise first, for my treatment of you. I have been a bit of a bastard to put it bluntly. I saw you as my biggest threat here but I think I am my own biggest threat. You are good at what you do and I could see that from day one, and the fact that Brooker values you so highly . . . anyway, I haven’t been doing my job as I should have been and my figures were shit compared to yours and even the big boss man’s.”

Steph looked across at him unsure if she should speak or not because she couldn’t dispute anything he’d said so far. The pause suggested Dave was hoping for some input. “I never came here after your job, anyone’s job. I had a job when I arrived, one I was very happy with,” she said honestly.

“I know that now.” He laughed. “Brooker told me yesterday that you were never here to replace me.”

“What else did he say?” asked Steph curiously.

“He said that if I continued the way I had been then he would consider that as a sign that I was actually giving you my job. Look, I would like to explain, in confidence.”

“Of course,” agreed Steph and paused as she noticed Hannah loitering outside with a huge floral arrangement in a box. “Hold on a second, Dave. Are you okay, Hannah?”

“Sorry, these have just arrived for you, they were left at main reception,” she explained.

“Thank you, could you just put them down for me, and close the door?” She smiled, hoping to soften the obvious go away message. “Sorry, go on,” she said to Dave.

“My work has been well under par of late, including the Manchester deal that you spotted all the flaws in.”

Steph flushed and considered denying it.

“It’s okay. Brooker told me that he’d asked you to look at it and that you had met before then when your best friends got married to each other.”

“I see.” Steph smiled at Jon’s ability to be honest and yet still not reveal the truth.

“About nine months ago my wife got pregnant, after our third round of IVF, but at five and a half months she lost the baby. She had to deliver him,” said Dave, his voice breaking.

“Oh, how awful, I am truly sorry,” said Steph. “My brother Joe and his wife Chloe had four cycles of IVF before their baby was born, my niece, Emily. She’s three and a half now.”

“That’s nice, but it is such a tough thing to go through, then to think you’ve succeeded and boom, it’s gone. It was bad enough for me, but my wife fell apart completely and to be honest, I have struggled to hold us together. Work wasn’t top of my list, although I know that’s no excuse. Brooker made it clear yesterday that other people had voiced concerns about my treatment of you and that regardless of any sympathy or empathy he had for me, if it continued he wouldn’t hesitate to sack me.” He smiled sadly.

“I can’t think of a better reason to lose professional focus,” said Steph.

“Anyway, that’s why I have been so vile, my own insecurities and feelings of inadequacy compared to your absolute and utter professional ability and conduct along with your genuine niceness. Sorry again. Look, nobody knows about my wife and baby, just you and Brooker,” said Dave.

“You told him yesterday?”

“No.” A huge sigh left Dave’s mouth as he shook his head. “He found me drunk in charge of a calculator after it happened and I was forced to tell him, but he was brilliant. He insisted I took a few weeks off and offered me and my wife some counselling through the health scheme, but we thought we could get through it. We were wrong. I am using your figures to finish off with Brooker today and tomorrow and then I am on leave for three weeks and we’re going to pursue the counselling too, after a holiday. In the meantime Brooker has suggested you fill in for me, so if you want to take my office from tomorrow, I will come down after lunch and go through my workload unless you’d rather tell me to piss off.” He sounded more relaxed and looked less haunted than he had before.

“No, of course I’m happy to fill in for you. Not that you should see that as any kind of challenge.” She offered a wry smile. “I hope the holiday and the counselling help you both come to terms with everything or allow you to move forward or whatever you each need.”

“Thank you, Steph. I don’t deserve anything from you other than contempt,” he said, getting to his feet.

“Don’t be silly, I thought you were a dickhead, but now that I understand what was going on we should probably put it behind us and start again, especially as accounts is your castle and you are king of it.” She did nothing to fight the huge grin on her face and was pleased to see the man before her cringing.

“Yes, thanks for reminding me that I am a prat. Look, I had better get upstairs, I am meeting Brooker in half an hour,” replied Dave as he exited through the door.

She grabbed her phone and text Jon immediately.

Are you in your office and free? I really need to see you, but it will only take a couple of minutes. Steph x

She pulled the card from the huge number of red roses that the florist had managed to cram into the display box, so many that it even sounded as though the water was struggling to swoosh around.

I am sorry if I was responsible for

any tears you may have shed last night

or ever, darling.

Jon x

She was smiling at the card still when her phone beeped a reply from Jon.

Am free for about 20 mins, come up to my office now if you want to. Jon x

Steph threw the card from the flowers into her handbag and stuck her head round Hannah’s door. “I have to pop out for ten minutes, but I’ll be back,” she said grinning.

“I’ll take a message if anyone calls. Nice flowers,” added Hannah, obviously fishing.

“Thank you,” replied Steph.

“Special occasion?”

“Not that I’m aware of,” said Steph and scurried off to the lifts.

She stood outside of the door that would take her into Jon’s reception area where Andrea would undoubtedly be sitting and she felt apprehensive, embarrassed at the prospect of seeing her again after the circumstances of yesterday, but she knew that of all the people in this building Andrea was the soul of discretion. She took a deep breath and opened the door to reveal Andrea on the phone.

“I think his meeting has just started, but if you hold one moment I will see if he is available.”

Andrea smiled at Steph as she put the caller on hold. “He’s expecting you, go straight in,” she said and took the caller off hold. “Sorry, Mr Sanders, Mr Brooker’s meeting has started, but I will let him know that you called as soon as he is free.” Andrea’s voice carried an air of genuine honesty which seemed ironic as she was blatantly lying.

Steph stood at the door and as much as she willed herself not to knock, she still did but walked in after a single knock and smiled as she saw Jon smiling at her from behind his desk.

Neither of them spoke as she headed over to where he was. Swivelling in his chair to face her, he waited for her next move. That move involved Steph bending down to kiss him on the lips and as he kissed her back he pulled her down onto him. She parted his lips with her tongue and hungrily invaded his mouth while his hands disappeared into her hair that he had pulled free of the clip she’d had in. Jon pulled her away slightly, a little breathless and smiled at her.

“Darling, I am in no way complaining, but is there a reason for your visit this morning?” He brushed the hair back off her face.

“Yes, that was it.” The smile she wore looked almost shy.

“Well I approve, but what did I do to deserve that? I was anticipating a slightly frostier reception after yesterday,” he said sadly.

“You are a very lovely man, that’s what you did to deserve that.” She smiled. “Dave came to see me this morning and told me all about him and his wife and their baby and how brilliant you were and that’s why you haven’t sacked him.”

“That could be overstating it,” he said before she kissed him again.

“Although if that’s my reward for being, what was it you said? A very lovely man, I suppose I could accept that.” He grinned.

“And thank you for the flowers, they are beautiful, if unnecessary,” she said as she ran her fingers through his hair gently.

“They were very necessary, Steph.”

“Thank you,” she repeated. “And for the card.”

“You read the cards on the flowers I send you then?”

“Always,” she replied.

“Then I better work on keeping them original.”

“You really are a seriously lovely man and I don’t know that I have ever felt this way before and although we may not be years into this, it feels like it should be.” His responding grin encouraged her to lower her mouth to his again, stopping just short of kissing him. “I really do like you, a lot, and yesterday was horrible but I don’t think I can call time on us, with or without your wife.”

Jon nodded and sighed. “I can’t regret pursuing you, Steph. When things feel this good it can’t be wrong and yet I can’t help thinking that at some point this whole thing is going to get blown out of the water and leave a big mess.”

Steph lowered her lips further until they were gently pressed against his where she whispered her agreement, “I know.”

Jon now pulled her down into his lap firmly, knowing they were somehow on the same page making her moan loudly as she felt the familiar sensation of his erection beneath her and pulled his face from hers.

“Darling, I can’t believe I am saying this, but I really have to go and finish these figures with Dave before I forget where we are and where we should be.” Getting up, he placed Steph back on her feet.

“You do realise that you have many brownie points to cash in at any time now?” she asked.

“I don’t know that I deserve any.” He frowned with a downward curve of his lips. “I assume you are happy to fill in for Dave until he returns and maybe we could renegotiate your contract after his return?”

“Okay,” she almost whispered.

“But you should never take that much crap off anyone, especially not while you work for me,” he said, his tone suggesting the seriousness of his words and their meaning.

“Okay,” she repeated.

“I mean it. Nobody who works for me should ever be subjected to what you were. I hate fucking bullies,” he hissed before seeming to take stock. “So, are you coming back to mine after you and Lindsay have found your next holiday destination?” His question sounded optimistic.

“If you still want me to.”

“Of course I do.” He laughed, “But don’t book your holiday before running it past our own holiday company to see if they can offer you a better deal.” Bending down he landed a chaste kiss to her cheek.

“Before running it past your holiday company or you?”

“The holiday company,” he replied. “I want to tell you not to go on holiday, but I am trying here, Steph, to be more considerate and respect your choices.”

“Good because I would tell you to sod off if you did. This is what Lindsay and I do, always have.”

“I know,” he nodded with an almost pained expression plastered across his face. “I have to go, but I will see you tonight,” he said and then left her standing in his office alone wearing a very happy and stupid grin.