Chapter 11 #2
We pulled into my parking lot, and I slid out from under Danny, laying his head onto the seat. Trying to force more space between myself and this little family. “Thanks for letting me come get trees. It was amazing,” I whispered to Adam as I reached for the handle.
Adam rolled his eyes. “Yeah, hardly the outing I expected.”
I raised my right shoulder. “True, but I still loved being in the mountains, and I got to cut down a tree. So overall definitely a win for me.” I smiled and opened the door. “Good night, Adam,” I called over my shoulder then shut the door and rushed away before I got pulled further in.
A door shut behind me, and I turned to see Adam walking up to me.
My throat tightened, and my hands shook. What was he doing? I remembered I was still in his coach jacket. I’d put it on after the urgent care. “Oh, sorry! Your coat.” I slid it off my shoulders and handed it out toward him, instantly missing its warmth and the smell the second it was gone.
He grabbed the coat and put it over his arm and gestured toward my door. “I forgot about the coat. Figured I would walk you to your door, the least I can do after today.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged.
We walked the rest of the way in silence. I grabbed my keys from my pocket and inserted the key into the lock, unlocking the door.
“Sorry about earlier. I kinda lose my cool when it comes to Danny.” His voice was soft.
I glanced over at him. “You’re fine, and you kept him safe.” I turned the handle. It was two a.m., and I was exhausted.
“Wait.” Adam reached out and touched my arm. “I just…”
I took a quick breath and turned to him, searching his warm brown eyes.
“I wanted to thank you.”
“Thank me?” I tilted my head to the side. “I didn’t do anything.”
“You did more than you will ever know.” His voice and his eyes were soft. “You kept me calm, and you helped Danny feel safe.” Adam searched my face, and his hand moved up toward me.
But then he stopped, stepped back, and put it back at his side. “Thank you, Faith.”
I wondered how it would feel to have him say my real name. Was Astrid even my real name anymore? Who was I?
“I’m gonna get you a tree.” Adam nodded, bringing me back to the present.
“No, Adam, please don’t.” I rested my hand on his forearm. “Honestly. I’m not worried about it. I wanted the experience more than anything. Plus, I even cut two trees down!” I smiled at the memory. “Christmas looked a little different growing up, this was wonderful.”
Adam leaned against the house. “Where did you grow up?”
Crap!
“Um, on the East Coast.”
“And they don’t have Christmas trees there?” His forehead creased.
“Not like here, I guess.” I did not want to talk about my past. “It’s late. And I’m sure you and Danny are exhausted.” I turned to the door and twisted the handle.
“Good night, Faith,” Adam whispered behind me.
“Night, Adam,” I said over my shoulder. “And tell Danny thanks for taking me to get trees.” I went inside and shut the door before I did something stupid like hug him or ask if I could see him again.
Sunday passed with pine-scented candles and sugar cookies. The icing designs required a lot of focus, but somehow, my mind wouldn’t stop replaying Christmas tree scenes with Adam and Danny.
Rose had some family drama with her siblings and would be absent all day, which gave me space to bake and process. I thought about texting Adam several times to ask how Danny was doing, but I wasn’t sure if that was appropriate.
Was it bad not to text?
Would he think I didn’t care?
But if I did text, would he get the wrong idea?
Which was what? That I wanted to spend more time together… That wasn’t wrong…but was also so wrong. After I finished the snowflake pattern, I gave in to the impulse.
Faith: Hey Adam, I was just wondering how Danny is doing today. How’s your back?
I set my phone down and went to frost another cookie so I couldn’t obsess over whether he texted back. After I had finished five, I allowed myself to check.
Adam: Hey Faith, Danny is hurting a little and his pain meds make him sleepy, but overall doing much better. He is bummed that his sling is limiting his drum solos to Frosty the Snowman though. I’m also grateful for the pain meds, now that the adrenaline has worn off. But I’m good.
I chuckled.
Adam: I was going to ask you. Danny wanted to start decorating the Christmas tree later tonight and thought since you helped get it, you might want to come decorate it. I told him I would ask. Zero Pressure though. I’m sure you have things to do.
I had things. Baking things, cleaning things, anything to keep my mind from thinking about how much I wanted to join them doing adorable family things.
Boundaries.
Faith: Tell Danny thanks for inviting me. I have a few things I need to do here. Plus, honestly, I think me being at your house, as Danny’s teacher, might confuse him. But maybe don’t tell him that part. I don’t want to hurt his feelings.
Would Adam understand? I didn’t want him to think I didn’t want to hang out with them.
Adam: I understand.
Ugh! What did that even mean?
Was he mad?
Did he want me to come, or did just Danny? Texting has to be the worst form of communication.
Adam: I’m not sure Danny will feel up for school tomorrow.
Faith: That’s fine, whatever he needs to feel comfortable.
I started another batch of cookies. At this point, I could feed a homeless shelter with all the extra cookies I have piled up. After baking, cleaning, and frosting, I read. Unfortunately, it was a Christmas romance, and the MC looked suspiciously like Adam in my head.
Monday morning, I rushed out my front door. My breath was a big puff of steam against the cold air as I walked toward my car. I noticed something different on my left. A real Christmas tree was leaning against the side of the house with a note. I froze.
Wait, what?
I stepped closer to the tree. It looked like… No. I studied the saw marks at the bottom.
I knew this tree because I helped cut it down. It was thee tree. The “perfect tree” Adam found. I stepped around the little pile of snow and found a note tied to the trunk with a string.
Faith,
Thanks again for helping me stay calm and Danny feel safe. I couldn’t stand you never having a tree that you cut down. So, Danny and I decided we would go get one for Mom later. I also picked up a stand, not sure if you needed one. Tell Rose I checked it for spiders.
Merry Christmas
Adam
Then, scribbled at the bottom, Danny also signed his name. He must have used his left hand, because it was bad even for Danny.
I rubbed the note softly, and my eyes filled with tears. I tried to wave them away before they fell. They gave me their Christmas tree. I didn’t know if anyone other than Rose and Marissa had ever done anything so thoughtful for me.
I had gotten expensive, gaudy gifts growing up, but it was never anything I actually wanted. It was more about Mom being able to tell people how generous their presents were.
And they gave me this tree… This was Adam’s tree. The perfect one that he searched forever for.
A sob caught in my throat.
This tree was like a piece of Adam and Danny. It held memories and smiles on every pine-scented needle. I reached over and rubbed the branches softly. I wiped a tear off my cheek.
Next to the tree was a stand propped against the house. I untied the note and held it to my heart. I wanted to call Adam and thank him and Danny. I wanted to see Danny and check if he was okay. I wanted to sit next to Adam and watch Christmas movies.
This was so bad.
Why were they making it so difficult?
I needed to instill some boundaries, or I was going to break my heart and, worse, hurt Danny.
They gave me a frickin’ Christmas tree. I squealed and stomped my feet. I wanted to hug the tree, but figured it would probably prefer I take it inside and give it water.