19. Jess
Jess placed her flip-flops on a rock and looked out over the ocean for a moment.
She had gotten into a routine of walking on the beach every morning. Sometimes Clint even joined her before he headed out to work, and it was pleasant to share a quiet walk together.
She was trying not to overthink what it meant that he seemed drawn to her house the moment he woke up, and then again as soon as his work was done for the day.
I’ve just become part of his routine, she told herself. It doesn’t mean anything.
In spite of taking this walk every morning, Jess was still blown away by her surroundings every single time. She sank her toes into the warm sand and let herself just soak in the beauty of her surroundings.
Golden sand met the froth at the edge of the water, which stretched as far as the eye could see, the palest turquoise blue, until it touched the sky, which was still as dawn-pink as a baby’s bottom.
Sweet little sandpipers darted in and out of the water’s edge on their long, spindly legs, grabbing tiny crustaceans that had been washed up onto the sand, and then running away before the waves returned.
Jess’s mom had always loved the little birds. Whenever Jess saw them, she felt a whisper of her mother’s presence.
Love you, Mom,she said inwardly, closing her eyes for a moment. Wish you were here.
The day was filled with possibility, and other than the slight annoyance of having to get sweaty and dirty working on the house, all the possible things that could happen were good.
Jess had off from the shop today since Anthem was coming this afternoon, so she would get lots done in the house after her morning walk. Then, Anthem would arrive and Jess would finally get to put her arms around her after a whole school year without a visit from her middle daughter.
Even during the usual holiday break, Anthem had been hired to sing and play her guitar for church services at a congregation in Cleveland, so she had stayed on campus, doing a video call on Christmas Day with the family.
It was just as well. It had been a miserable Christmas as the first one without Silas.
I won’t think about that now…
At any rate, Anthem would surely be happy to explore the beach and the house. And Glory would come home soon after Anthem arrived, fired up to see her sister and tell her all about the resort. By then, Liberty would stop her feverish cleaning and join them.
Oh Liberty,Jess thought. If you asked for my advice, I would tell you to talk to him, see if you can work through it.
But of course Liberty hadn’t asked for her advice.
Jess wasn’t sure if it was because she was embarrassed to tell her mother what was wrong, or if it was because she thought a woman whose husband left her couldn’t give good marriage advice. She sure hoped it was the first one.
Either way, Jess was still in the dark. She figured it most likely had to do with cheating, situations like this one usually did. Jess couldn’t picture Chase as a cheater, but stranger things had happened.
Maybe they could work it out anyway, go to counseling, and strengthen their relationship again.
I would go through all that to bring Silas back to me,Jess thought to herself.
But suddenly she realized it wasn’t true.
He had left her—left them. And if he could do that, then he hadn’t been the man she thought he was in the first place. She stopped walking and stood stock-still, breathing in the salty air and letting the realization sink in.
Why didn’t I see that before?
Enough other people had certainly said it to her, but the words felt hollow then. Jess had just wanted her husband back.
Now she felt better, stronger.
“Mom,” a familiar voice yelled happily from the direction of the house.
“Anthem,” Jess said, spinning around to see her daughter flying across the sand toward her.
Anthem was slim and brown-haired like Jess and Liberty, but she was shorter, and her long hair hung almost all the way to her waist. Today, she was wearing a white tank top over a pair of faded jeans with flowers embroidered on them, and her hair was different from the last time Jess had seen her.
“Your hair,” Jess said automatically as Anthem stopped in front of her. It was a sort of bronzy red color that made her skin look even more pale than usual in contrast.
Anthem’s brows went up like she was waiting for Jess to be unhappy with her.
“It looks great,” Jess said quickly.
If Jess was being a hundred percent honest, she preferred her daughter’s natural color. But Anthem was an adult now, and a college graduate. She could shave her head bald if she wanted. Though Jess sincerely hoped she wouldn’t.
“Thanks, Mom,” Anthem said with a big smile. “Don’t worry. I didn’t let them bleach it first. They just added the color on top.”
“Come here, you,” Jess said, opening her arms.
Anthem hugged her tight, her pale arms surprisingly strong.
“How was the flight?” Jess asked.
“Well, I got to the airport super early,” Anthem said. “And they offered me a free seat upgrade if I took an earlier flight since my other one was overbooked.”
“Very nice,” Jess said.
“I got to sit in first class,” Anthem said, smiling dreamily. “They gave me a pillow and a blanket and everything.”
Anthem was definitely Jess’s sleepiest child. Getting her up every day for high school had been a real challenge at times.
“That’s great, honey,” Jess said with a smile. “Did you see any celebrities?”
“Not exactly,” Anthem said, frowning. “But I met a music producer.”
“Wow,” Jess said.
“She was sitting next to me,” Anthem said. “She saw my guitar case and asked about it. She probably thought I might actually be somebody big at first, because I was in first class. We had a pretty good conversation though, and she gave me her card. She also told me she’d check out my channel. But, you know, she was probably just being polite.”
“Who knows?” Jess said, leading them back toward the house. “So now that the camp is off, what’s next for you? You’re welcome to spend the whole summer here with us, obviously, if that’s what you want. And of course, we all hope you will.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Anthem said. “I’m not sure yet what’s next. You know I hate the business side of things. I just want to make music. I guess I could play for churches and weddings and all, small gigs like that. Or maybe try to get work as a studio musician, and teach lessons on the side.”
“That sounds nice,” Jess said. “And I know you love teaching. What happened with the camp?”
“Oh, it’s a whole thing,” Anthem said, waving her hand in the air, as if to clear it of the annoying topic. “But there is something else I wanted to talk to you about.”
Before Anthem could say what it was, they heard Liberty’s voice out on the back porch. She sounded like she had been crying, and her voice had taken on that slightly higher pitch that had been a sign of her stress since she was a child.
“No,” Liberty said, pausing. “No, no, no. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
There was a break in the conversation that told Jess Liberty was clearly on the phone. Though she had suspected that her daughter was talking to Chase from the beginning, especially since no one else was even home.
“I just have some things I need to figure out,” Liberty said firmly.
There was more silence, and then the slam of the screen door.
Jess glanced over at Anthem. Her middle daughter had always been on the intuitive side, and very, very empathetic. She was the kind of kid that had to leave the room if a character on TV was in an embarrassing situation. And right now, her eyes were slightly widened and moist with unshed tears.
“Are they going to work it out?” she asked Jess sadly.
“I sure hope so, honey,” Jess said, putting an arm around her and giving her a reassuring squeeze.
Though she was honestly feeling even more confused about the situation herself. She had obviously made the wrong assumption about why Liberty had left. That hadn’t been a you-cheated-on-me argument at all.
And if it wasn’t that, what could it possibly be?
Silas had always gently teased them both, saying that Jess and Liberty shared a brain. But it was more apparent than ever that there was plenty she didn’t know about her oldest daughter.
“Shall we fix you a snack?” she asked Anthem, forcing herself to snap out of it and focus on what was right in front of her.
“Yes,” Anthem said. “That sounds great.”
They headed into the house, and Jess made sure to make plenty of noise so Liberty would know she wasn’t alone any longer, just in case she was on the phone again.
“Anthem’s home,” she called up the stairs. “Come have a snack with us, if you want.”
“I’m, um, I’m just going to hop in the shower really quick first,” Liberty called back down after a moment. “I took down the old curtains, and I’m covered in dust and cobwebs.”
But Jess could hear the tears that still lingered in Liberty’s voice.
Talk to me, my love, she begged her inwardly. Let me help you, if only by listening.
But Liberty obviously wanted to keep her own counsel, and Anthem was already banging around in the kitchen and liable to set the whole place on fire if she took it into her head to try and cook for herself.
“Hang on, Anthem,” Jess called out, jogging to catch up.