Chapter Sixteen #2
How could she not, when he revealed more every day? Which made her ask herself again, could she love him? And was it possible Rory cared for her?
Too soon to ask such questions, not with her secret still being kept. Yet, as much guilt as she felt for not telling him of Rhona’s story she also felt that Rory, too, held something back, something she didn’t quite understand, something dark that drove him.
She wondered what it was. Now following the two Lochmores through the sparse line of trees and seeing the village and Lochmore Castle loom over the next hill, she was beginning to understand. Beginning to know her husband and it broke her heart. His wasn’t a cheerful home.
On and on they wove through the village; greetings were called out and sheep scattered.
The village was immaculate. Not a roof needed thatching, the roads were well gravelled and cobbled.
Ditches ran along the side for refuse and run off.
She’d longed for such industry and efficiency for McCrieff, but Hamish’s greed and missed opportunities depleted coffers that would have been better spent on the Clan than on one bitter man who was never satisfied.
Adjusting her skirts from the saddle, she gazed at the dark flock of birds dotting the clear blue sky.
Here she was riding to her husband’s home to visit with his family and she was wishing a man on his death bed ill will.
If the Fates could hear her now, they’d heap more mischief upon her.
She carried enough grief and burden without welcoming any more and she crossed herself to ward off any ill omens heading their way.
Closer to the castle’s gates and the roads narrowed. Rory no longer rode side by side with his father, who surged on ahead to visit with tenants who ran up to greet him. It allowed her to move closer to Rory since her own palfrey was so much smaller.
‘Are you well?’ Rory asked.
The ride across their lands had been brief; Rory couldn’t mean her physical health, but she wasn’t prepared to tell him her turbulent thoughts and worries. ‘Your home is very impressive, Rory.’
The gentle light in his gaze dimmed and he turned his head to look at everything but his home. ‘It’s a...fine roof and walls. My mother ensured it so.’
The immense stone castle and stronghold ahead was more than stone and mortar.
It had been built to impress and intimidate.
She knew his parents’ marriage had been arranged for political and financial gain.
Perhaps those types of alliances were what created such lofty residences. Her own parents had married for love.
It was not lost on her that her own marriage had been arranged and, though she had done it from her heart, Rory had, in truth, done it for political gain.
Seeing Lochmore’s castle, she wondered if he would want his own home to intimidate and impress.
Perhaps he envisaged no warmth between himself and the children she prayed they’d have.
After all this time, she had shared her past and they had addressed the present, but by some tacit agreement they had not talked of the future. Maybe she was cowardly; maybe they both knew how tenuous their future was.
Maybe he didn’t imagine a future. She didn’t know. Her husband was complex and intriguing, and just when she thought she understood him, she realised she didn’t. ‘You must have spent hours playing hide and seek in such rooms.’
Foolish remark. Rory was an only child. While no castle room could be truly empty, he didn’t have what she had with her own siblings—
‘Not so much hide and seek,’ he said, his tone contemplative. ‘Among us boys, it was more hide and hide some more. Paiden was a handful even then, forever stealing loaves of bread or, if it was available, dried fruit from the kitchens. You’d think on such lands, we’d easily get lost.’
‘Except you were clever.’
‘We had some good places. Behind the chapel, the crypt, the...passageway to the water. But I think he liked getting caught.’
‘That’s because he liked bragging of his prowess. Does no good to steal precious dessert when he can’t take credit for it.’
A laugh burst through Rory’s clenched lips ‘So true! It all makes sense now why I couldn’t talk him into any place else to hide.’
‘So we know why he did it, but what did you do?’
Rory’s easy smile fell. ‘Oh, I stole, lied and cheated, but never something so innocent as dessert.’
This was different. Rory wasn’t telling her of mischievous antics he pursued for fun. She was a healer and everything in her knew when someone hurt.
‘What did you do to get caught?’
‘I, unlike my faithful companion, wasn’t so foolish as to get caught.’ He snapped his reins once and his horse increased its pace. ‘Come, we’re holding up the men and my father has already made it through the gates.’
Without looking back, Rory urged his horse on ahead and she did the same. She’d let him go and she’d keep letting him go. He’d given her a glimpse of his past, at least one full of Paiden before he avoided further talking of the past.
There was more to settle between them, but some wounds didn’t heal right away.
Some injuries took time. She’d seen Rory avoid personal questions before.
She knew he did it now to find the strength and drive he cloaked himself in before he went through the gates that surrounded Lochmore’s castle, his home.
Though it made him more comfortable, letting him go was difficult for her. In fact, for one moment she wanted to call him back. To tell him she understood that as a child, he hadn’t got caught because he was more intelligent than Paiden.
She knew by observing the cold nod to his father, by feeling the frigid air coming off Lochmore’s stone. She was already guessing why he never was caught in that childhood game.
He hadn’t got caught because no one had bothered to search for him.