Chapter 11
Finn
Istare at the ceiling, listening to Kai toss and turn in his bunk below me. I’ve hardly slept more than fifteen minutes at a time before waking up. I give up the idea of a good night’s rest.
Terra is heavy on my mind. She’s really fucking mad at me and I don’t blame her. The look on her face was enough to make me want to crawl under a rock and die. I groan and press my palms against my eyes.
Eventually I get up and look through my textbooks. We’ll be starting classes today and I’m determined to learn as much as I can. I want to be strong like I should have been for Martin.
Now that we’ve had a taste of what the exams are like, I’m committed to doing everything in my power to not let any more tragedies befall us. The only problem is we have no clue what the next exam entails. I highly doubt it will be something as simple as one-on-one combat again.
“Oh, come on.” Kai nudges his elbow into my side. I didn’t hear him get up—I was too lost in my thoughts, apparently. “What are you moping about now?” He glowers at me and I can’t help but smile at his cheap attempt to make me feel better.
He knows what I’m depressed about; we talked about it all fucking night.
A message writes itself in the air in front of our door, scorching the space with bright, gilded words.
All students are to report to the mess hall immediately. Classes are to follow.
Kai shares a shocked look with me before shrugging like it’s just another day.
Everyone is weary after yesterday. To say that the Culling Assessment was draining is an understatement.
There is a sinister aura that hangs heavy in the air, coating my skin with its stickiness. The long tables are filled with students from each House. The Nova House has arrived but Terra, Raine, and Edgar are absent—possibly one of the others I didn’t recognize yesterday too. My eyes lift to the platform where the professors eat, and I notice the destruction professor is gone as well. My stomach twists with rage. I don’t want him anywhere near her, but there’s nothing I can do.
I feel entirely helpless.
Meats of all kinds are displayed on beautiful plates, drenched with sauces and seasonings. There’s bread and coffee distributed liberally as well. Kai scowls at the coffee but takes big gulps regardless. I do too, even though it tastes like shit without cream. I don’t think I can make it through the day without it.
We brought our heavy leather books with us. Each is the color of the student’s house, the Cosmos color being black. A map of Alkrose takes up the first few pages. My first class is anatomy, taught by Nekane. I blow out a breath and glance at Kai’s book; at least we have the same class.
“What the hell are we going to learn in anatomy?” he mutters between bites of his breakfast.
I shake my head. “I don’t even want to know.”
Kai sticks with me after we finish breakfast. The map in the book doesn’t help as much as I was hoping it would, but we eventually find our way to the third floor and locate the long, well-lit hallway crowded with students.
“Corvus!” Kai shouts and his hand shoots up into the air. My eyes find our friend a moment later. His dark hair is pulled back into a short ponytail. Corvus nods at us and makes his way over.
“Cool, now the four of us can—” Kai stops himself. There are no longer four of us. Martin’s lifeless eyes spring back into my mind and I have to swallow a few times before I can speak.
“It’s okay.” I lower my eyes so he can’t see the pain flickering there.
Kai wraps his arm around my shoulder. “It’s not, and it never will be. Sorry for the slipup,” he whispers and my jaw clenches with grief. Corvus raises a brow at us as he stops a breath away.
“What’s wrong?” Corvus asks, looking at Kai.
I glance up at him and mumble, “Everything.”
We stand in silence until the doors start to open. The instructors stand behind them. My stomach tightens as my eyes land on the anatomy class’s instructor, Nekane. This guy has it out for me for some reason, just for being a Solas classed Shadow, it seems.
His red eyes meet mine and I shrink in my cloak a bit, trying to avoid his gaze. Corvus and Kai trail behind me as we walk through his door. Our eyes instantly flash with surprise as we step into a massive catacomb-like library. The walls are made of stone, gray and slick with slime. The air is heavy with moisture and my tongue curls at the acidic sting. The lighting is dim—hundreds of candles burn on the floors and shelves that extend high above. Skulls rest on the rows amongst the books and tomes. Black liquid, long dried, stains the stones beneath them.
“Gods, what the fuck is this place?” Kai hisses unsteadily under his breath.
Corvus takes a few steps closer to the walls and inspects the stones and books. He takes a sharp breath. “I think we are in the Library of the Dead.”
Kai narrows his eyes and grimaces. “I don’t know what the fuck that is, but I’m not interested in finding out.”
“It’s the historical library that resides on the northern isle of Cyprin. They must’ve taken over the catacombs when they invaded a few years ago. We’ve just passed through another portal.” Corvus looks grimly up at the dripping rocks above us.
I’ve never heard of this place, but it emanates dark magic—the sensation hurts my bones.
Nekane shuts the door as the last student steps through. He makes his way to a raised podium in the center of the room. Black mist drips from his right hand and his pale fingers curl around it as it forms into a cane.
“Anatomy of the Shadows.” The instructor’s voice sends chills up my spine. “Today, we will learn the inner paths of summoning and how they can travel through us.”
Nekane raises his cane. I wouldn’t know it was a part of his Shadow had I not just witnessed it spill from his fingertips.
“Watch as I recall it back into me,” Nekane instructs and the cane disperses into smoky wisps and flows back into his skin. It enters through his palm and spreads through his veins like poison. Then, for a split second, his forearm bones become visible beneath his flesh as the black poison seeps back into them.
The room is eerily silent as we take in what we’ve just witnessed. My eyes trail down to my palms and I ponder on what my own Shadow is capable of.
Nekane opens his black tome and flips a few pages in. He clears his throat and says, “Shadows are nothing but the aura of the gods they once were. They can flow within and out of you at their will. Once you enter the nether levels of unity, you will be able to control their dispersal as I do.”
Kai raises his hand and we all give him a sour look. “What do you mean by nether levels?”
Nekane considers him momentarily before grinning and walking over to a chalkboard hidden behind a stone pillar. The candlelight flickers as we follow him around the bend.
He draws a diagram of a human body and then proceeds to tick off lines that lead to the skin, flesh, and bone, then deeper into the chest: ribs, heart, and spine. Nekane sets down the chalk and waves for Kai to come to him.
Kai gives me an uncertain look before swallowing and moving to stand next to the instructor.
Nekane’s cloak, like Corvus’s, is a rich purple, making Kai’s black one look drab in comparison. He grabs Kai’s arm and I watch as my friend visibly jolts beneath Nekane’s pale hand.
“Kaidel, you haven’t let your Shadow seep past your surface level yet. This is perfect—why don’t you let it sink into your flesh for demonstration,” Nekane says nonchalantly and steps aside, placing his hands neatly behind his back and watching expectantly for Kai to do as he said.
Kai lowers his arm as his brows pinch together. “Um, I don’t know how.”
Nekane laughs. “You don’t feel it beckoning to go deeper? Let it in.”
After a few minutes of nothing happening, Kai slumps his shoulders. “It’s no use, I don’t feel anything.” Nekane’s eyes slide to me and his too-calm demeanor sends chills up my spine.
“Finnick, let’s try you instead. Come now.” Nekane steps back up to the chalkboard. I pass Kai as he returns to stand next to Corvus. The instructor presses his cold hand to my shoulder and I instantly feel what Kai must have.
Icy veins spread through the surface of my skin; it calls to my Shadow, which pools along the area to combat the chill. Fire burns inside my flesh and banishes the cold in a mere second. I flinch as Nekane takes one sweeping step back, his eyes widening on me and his jaw flexing.
“Finnick, you’re already near the nether levels—impressive. I’m assuming you let it in during the assessment exam when your friend was eaten, yes?” I scowl at him and he nods thoughtfully. “I want you all to call out to the Shadows inside you and ask them for their names. Let them sink into you as far as you can.”
Corvus raises his hand and Nekane nods at him.
“What if we don’t want to?”
“Then you will be slaughtered in the second-semester exam. You can’t expect to compete with those who’ve achieved the nether levels.” Nekane smiles and draws a circle around the chest of the diagram. “Unless you can reach this point with your Shadow, you will certainly die.”
I think about his words for the rest of the class, sitting disheartened in a chair as I observe Corvus and Kai trying to speak with their Shadows. What does the second-semester exam entail exactly? It looms over my conscience, drawing in my anxiety and despair like a magnet.
Kai gives up and sits next to me as Corvus continues to whisper to himself.
“Done already?” I glance over at him and frown at his deflated expression.
“Yeah, it’s no use. I just don’t hear anything. I’ll try more later in our dorm. Maybe I just need a peaceful environment away from the others.” His eyes flick over to Frederick and a lump forms in my throat at the sight of him.
His mouth has scarred where his face tore. No one else’s Shadow has transformed the host itself. So why his? Beyond Frederick is one of the strangers I saw sitting at the Nova table. His gaze snaps up to mine and I flinch. His eyes are green and his hair is a soft, light brown, almost blond. He offers me a hesitant smile. He’s by himself and I don’t see the harm in welcoming him over with us, so I nod and return the grin.
He walks over and nervously greets us. “Hey, I’m Aervin. Mind if I join?”
Kai waves his hand carelessly, still leaning back in defeat. “Yeah, yeah. Join the band of losers while you still can, our numbers are growing,” he says sarcastically. Aervin laughs and sits beside me.
“I’m Finn, this is Kai, and that’s Corvus,” I mutter, nodding at the two friends I have left. Aervin nods and looks at the ground in silence. “So you’re a Nova?” I pry—why not, I figure.
Aervin hesitates. “I’m not actually a Nova, but I’m in the House because of Edgar. We met at Za’Afiel. It’s a manor on Grimrose Island.”
Kai’s brows pull together with curiosity. “Why did they have you all out there? Please don’t tell me they pampered you.” Aervin’s brows knit innocently and he doesn’t have to say more. “Godsdamn it,” Kai huffs.
Corvus finally joins us, looking annoyed with himself. “Shit. At this rate, we’re all going to die.” I give him a leveled look but he shrugs. “If you think Frederick is the strongest thing we need to overcome here, you’re a dumbass. We have to get stronger. Do you guys want to meet up after classes later and practice in the courtyard?” Corvus notices Aervin and raises a brow.
“Aervin, Edgar’s friend in the Nova House,” I explain and Corvus nods like he doesn’t really care.
“Anyone is welcome to join.”
Aervin smiles with gratitude. “I could use the practice.”
Kai and I both nod and return to watching Frederick and his group of aggressive friends. Their Shadows radiate power—it makes my skin curl.
We’re definitely fucked.