Chapter 29
Terra
Raine nudges me playfully as we head into our sex ed class.
At least since the first one we’ve focused on the very raw and eyebrow-raising things that can happen when two people with Shadows fuck. It’s horrible all the same, but at least it doesn’t involve Kallos bending me backward over a desk and Kai laughing his ass off about it.
The rumors spread like wildfire, but to my surprise, after I saved that Dvars student in Elias’s class last week, those rumors ceased. It’s nice to feel that most respect me because of a good deed, but others see it as a weakness of mine: the reluctance to let things be.
How can I go against everything that I care about though? I still have my heart. I don’t want to kill or let anyone die around me.
Finn grins at me as we take our seats and I shoot him a soft smile back. We both fucking hate this class. He leans over and whispers, “Have you heard more on the Blood Crowns exam?” I frown and shake my head.
I told him, Raine, Aervin, and Kai in secret. There are very few I can trust not to rat me out. We’ve been trying to figure out more about it, but late nights staked out in the library haven’t proved fruitful. I think Arthur and Elias suspected I was listening in so they haven’t returned.
Raine stretches out in his seat and yawns. His health has been relatively stable, which gives me a small reprieve from my impending doom. All we have left to search is Arthur’s other study, the one he actually uses.
Kallos starts the class by discussing the last lecture’s key takeaways.
I look out the windows and think about how we’re going to get to Arthur’s study at Za’Afiel. There has to be a portal that leads there, but Ash is the most guarded student here. When I asked him which nation he was from last week, he acted as if I were trying to use the bit of information against him in a trial.
The portal won’t be too hard to find. It’s more a matter of guessing which one will take us where we want to go, and so far, we haven’t had any luck.
“Today we’re going to pair up and practice restraining our Shadows,” Kallos says as he flicks his hand and his Shadow wisps in the air, writing out today’s lesson.
Restraint is sexy.
We all groan in unison and Kallos cracks a grin. “No complaining, get to it. Terra, unfortunately, your Shadow far outranks the others, so you’re with me.”
This is the only class I’ve been thankful for Edgar’s absence. Though it makes me curious about how he’s faring.
Kai swings his head to look straight at me and the way his mouth pinches into an evil grin almost gets me laughing. Finn elbows his friend as he gets up to find a partner.
The look Raine gives me makes me feel sorry for him, but I’m already irritated with the five girls who are fighting to be his partner. He just shrugs at me. “You can’t be mad at me about it.”
I roll my eyes as I walk to the front of the class, trying as hard as I can not to look at Kallos. But how can I not when his voice is low and crisp, his hair like gilded thread, and his eyes as bright as they come?
The three power brackets on each side of his mouth still look like stitches to me, but I’ve seen him so often now that’s normal. Just like the six small earring bars through Finn’s ears, they were hard to get used to at first but I hardly notice them anymore.
It’s odd how quickly we adapt to change.
“Let’s hope we don’t have another mishap,” Kallos says casually but I can hear the uncertainty in his voice. It seems like he might dislike this process as much as I do.
It’s not that I hate being close to him or feeling the intensity between us. It’s that we’re in public and I have so many other men in my life at the moment. But what’s one more? My Shadow doesn’t seem to care.
I can’t keep my eyes off Finn and Raine as they pair up.
Kai and Finn end up being partners because there are more men than women in the class, and their cheeks couldn’t be brighter. Raine sits across from a gorgeous young woman. I’ve seen her in passing but have no clue what her name is. The different Shadow Houses don’t interconnect much.
“All right, everyone has their partners. I want you to try your best to restrain your Shadows while being in close range to one another, like so.” Kallos steps up to my chest, keeping less than an inch of space between us.
The pull in my veins is already reaching toward him; Amser’s eager to get a touch of his Shadow once again.
“Now, some of your Shadows might resent others, pushing them away rather than drawing them in,” Kallos says as a few student couplings step apart like repelling magnets. “Every Shadow has their counterpart, ones that they ward off cautiously. But most of you should be feeling that curious pull.”
My body trembles with the effort to stay in place. Kallos looks just as strained, flexing his jaw before he continues with the lesson.
“Don’t let them give in. Practice equal restraint together.”
I glance over to Raine and his partner, but they are standing so far apart already, I can’t help the relief that sinks into my chest. Finn and Kai, on the other hand, aren’t so lucky. Their faces are pulled into tight frowns and Finn looks like he’s about to have an aneurysm. His jaw is set and veins in his hands protrude as he fists them at his sides.
Kai’s eyes flick to me and I burst into laughter with the complete horror that falls over his features. His attention snaps and he and Finn collapse into one another. Their pull toward each other isn’t surprising, they’re practically inseparable.
As if in sync, more and more partners crash into each other, unable to resist the pull of the Shadows. It continues until Kallos and I are the only ones left standing.
A bead of sweat rolls down the professor’s temple and he swallows hard, sucking in his bottom lip a bit before exhaling and turning toward the class, stepping away from me to lessen the draw.
“Good practice today, everyone. We will keep up this exercise in class until you can fully resist the urge and keep yourself in control. That’s it for today,” Kallos dismisses the class. “Hang back for a second, Terra,” he whispers to me with a heated glance. Warmth spreads up my chest at the way his eyes trail down my throat.
I tell Finn and Raine not to wait up for me. Raine gives me a suspecting look but only smirks deviously before following the others out. Gods, I don’t even want to know what he has in mind.
Once the room is empty, the air feels warmer across my cheeks. Kallos smiles at me and I awkwardly make my way to his desk. He sits with his legs spread wide, leaning back in relaxation while resting his jaw on his hand. He’s like a fallen god, holy, unlike Elias.
Those golden eyes burn into my skin as I part my lips to mutter, “What did you want to discuss, professor?” I hate the rasp in my voice that exposes my nerves. I hope he wants to figure out this weird yearning between us.
His lips kick into a smile and those stitches on each side of his mouth elongate it. It’s really fucking sexy—I shouldn’t be as drawn to it as I am. My teeth sink into my lower lip as I try to quell the unwarranted lewd thoughts that dare breach my mind.
“Not so much discuss as just to let our Shadows figure out what they need to between each other. I’d rather have classes run smoother, so letting them get their aggression out is good. Or perhaps it’s us egging them on? As long as you’re open to it, of course.” His voice is slick and calm, heavy with controlled desire.
Is he saying what I think he’s saying? “How do you intend on finding out?” I ask as a shudder rolls languidly down my spine.
Kallos offers me his hand. I look from his palm to his eyes as he mutters, “By letting them mingle, how else?”
I hesitate before letting my hand slide into his. He wraps his fingers around my wrist and pulls me into his lap, turning me so my back is against his taut chest. A cold wave of lust spreads throughout my body as our Shadows tangle through every fiber of my being.
Kallos groans and wraps his hand around my waist as he arches his back, pushing the hard length beneath his pants into my ass. His fingers dig into my stomach enough that I exhale and sip in a quick breath before his lips are on my neck.
“Oh, little Nova, this was a bad idea,” Kallos says in a dark, voluptuous voice. His other hand reaches forward and trails his index finger down my throat.
Chills spread over my skin and I can’t think of anything but how fucking wrong this is. And perhaps that’s why I enjoy it so much. I desperately try not to think about the heat that’s collecting between my thighs and Kallos’s hot breath across my skin.
“Why?” I ask on an exhale, letting my head drop down to his shoulder.
“Because all I’ve ever known is control with my Shadow, and yours crumbles all that work in mere seconds. I cannot speak of the things I want to do to you.” He slides his hand beneath my shirt. His restraint is evident in the way his veins push against his skin, trying to stop himself from letting this happen. His jaw tightens against my shoulder.
He bucks his hips lightly against me before cursing under his breath and pulling his hands back. I’m cold in all the spaces he was a moment ago. He stands, pushing the center of my back gently so I step away from him.
I turn to look at him and catch a feral darkness in his gaze. The parts of his eyes that are normally white have turned maroon.
“What’s wrong?” I ask as I take a few steps back, not sure if I should turn and run or help him in some way.
He shakes his head and nods to the door. “Leave,” he rasps painfully. It’s so weak that I feel like I need to do something.
I step closer to him and reach my hand out to his shoulder for comfort, but he snaps his head up and snarls at me, his teeth sharp, those brackets that look like stitches stretching.
“I said leave,” he grits out callously and I don’t waste another second. I grab my books from my desk and leave without looking back.
What the fuck was that? Is Professor Kallos a shifter like Frederick? He had that same splitting mouth. The thought of it curls my stomach. Was it my Shadow that made him change like that?
Amser answers, startling me because it has been quiet for days. I wanted to play with his dark side. Why did you run away?
I shake my head and try not to think about it anymore since Amser will just read my thoughts anyway. I’m in my mind prison still when I turn the corner and walk straight into a man’s chest. The books in my arms nearly tumble from my grasp.
My eyes flick up and meet Elias’s daunting stare.
He catches my books before they fall without even breaking our eye contact and the corner of his lip tilts up. “Hello, sweetheart. What are you doing up here past class hours?” His eyes drift behind me and land on something that makes darkness settle in his features. “Playing with Kallos, are we?”
My knees feel weak. But I don’t find anger or jealousy in his eyes—only a morbid curiosity.
“Now he is someone I want to watch ruin you. Raine can join too and get some pointers from him,” Elias says tightly. Desire lingers on his words and I have to swallow hard to move past the image he just painted in my head.
“Stop that!” I say sharply and he lifts one shoulder.
“I came to look for you when you weren’t at the Nova House with Raine.” He clutches my books in one arm and lets the other swing over my shoulders as he guides us down the corridor toward the south end of the castle.
My brow raises. “Where are we going exactly?”
He chuckles and lets his arm slacken around my neck. “Remember our talk of finding my heart? You were right. And I think I may have figured out where he keeps them.”