Chapter 24
Time slows as the blade whistles toward my throat.
I feel nothing. No terror. No despair. Only a hollow numbness carved out by everything I’ve learned—by the truth of what flows through my veins.
My magic stirs, stronger than it’s been in days. But now that I know what it is…what I suspect…it feels less like the gift I used to help my neighbors and more like my own disastrous curse.
Draven’s blue blade is nearly indistinguishable from the crystal sky as it draws closer.
The dark marks rake my forearms, and my magic shrieks in warning.
I close my eyes.
A rush of wind brushes the hair tickling the side of my face, followed by a thump and a hiss. A strong arm bands around my waist and yanks me off my feet.
My eyes fly open. I barely catch Draven’s horrified expression before the world around me blurs as I’m pulled away.
“What the hells were you thinking?”
I blink. The prince snarls in my face. Still, I feel…nothing.
No anger. No sadness. No frustration.
Nothing.
I don’t answer.
I keep thinking of my suspicions…what it all means. Not just for me. But for Ferria.
Gods…Ferria.
What will she think? We were raised to fear Fae—to avoid them at all costs. Yet here we are, our blood placing us in the thick of their world.
The Goddess of Fate has a wicked sense of humor.
Or perhaps I should begin to pray to The Mother…
“Elara?” Rian’s hands press down on my shoulders, one of them warmer than the other. “What is going on?”
My unfocused eyes blink down at Rian’s grip.
Crimson seeps onto my naked arm.
“You’re bleeding.”
My magic bristles, and my gaze drops to the ground where Draven’s sword lies. A smear of blood mars the middle of the blade, as if it was caught mid-swing.
Rian’s fingers flex. “What happened, Elara? What’s wrong?”
Everything.
Warmth travels through my chest, into my shoulder, and brushes against his injured palm.
He sucks in a quiet breath as my power heals his hand without my instruction. Its agitation abates the moment the last inch of skin seals.
“Thank you.” Rian’s words brush my forehead.
I stare at the base of his neck. “It wasn’t me.”
Ever since the Fae entered my life, my magic seems to have developed a mind of its own. It reacted to them in strange, unexplainable ways.
Now, I suppose I know why…
Rian’s throat bobs. “Elara? Why would you step in front of a blade?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“And you had to risk your beautiful head to do so?”
I continue to stare at his tan throat, imagining the familiar tendrils of darkness weaving around his neck, rolling over his shoulders, emanating strength and power.
Power that originates from a curse laid by the Fae princess. No, queen.
When I don’t say anything, Rian slides his hands off my shoulders.
He turns and clips out, “I’ll be back in a moment.”
Draven grunts. “Take your time.”
I drag my gaze to the surly Fae, barely noticing the tightness around his mouth and the crease between his brows.
Rian touches my elbow. A flash of white appears in the corner of my eye.
A handkerchief.
I don’t reach for it.
Rian huffs and the pristine fabric stains red as he runs it over my shoulder and bicep, cleaning away his blood.
Finished, he tucks the handkerchief back into his trouser pocket and leads me through the palace by my elbow.
I don’t resist. Numbness still dominates my body, though the places where Rian’s fingers press against my skin spark.
We walk down unfamiliar halls with drab gray walls. No portraits. No carpet runners.
It isn’t until we pass one of the finely dressed maids that I realize we are in the servants’ passageway. The woman tucks her chin and hurries past without a word.
Amused laughter and happy chatter flow through the wall to my right. I assume it’s the main corridor.
We climb worn stone stairs. Rian’s grip tightens when I stumble. His penetrating stare bores into the side of my face.
I keep my attention forward as we ascend one stair after another, and the heavy numbness weighing down my thoughts and emotions begins to lift.
In its place, red-hot betrayal and hurt percolate.
If I’m right, the Shadow Fae know the truth about what I am.
Yet they chose to leave me in the dark.
But why?
What excuse could they possibly have for keeping that from me?
By the time Rian and I reach the hall leading to our guest rooms, my entire body is aflame with fury.
I don’t question when Rian leads me to the door across from mine. He turns the knob and nudges me inside.
The door latch clicks into place behind me.
Then Rian faces me, his expression carefully blank. “Elara—”
“How long?”
His jaw snaps closed. “How long, what?”
“How long have you known I’m part Light Fae?”
He blinks, schooling his face too late as the muscle along his rugged jawline twitches. “What in The Mother’s name are you…”
He trails off as I reach into my satchel and close the distance between us.
Rian takes a single step back but goes no farther when I slam Calla’s journal into his chest.
His long fingers press against the leather cover when I pull away.
His eyes remain locked on mine. “What’s this?”
“A diary.” My hands shake, and I fist them at my sides. “Calla Luminara’s diary.”
His eyes flare at the name.
I knew they would.
He drops his gaze and finally looks at the book. “This is the book you read in the dinghy.”
“Yes.”
He draws it away from his chest and opens the pages gently.
“Where…” He pauses and draws a measured breath, eyes lingering on the pages as though committing them to memory before meeting mine. “Where did you get this?”
Unlike with Anders, I’m honest. “My mother left it for me.”
To this, he doesn’t react.
Blood rushes to my cheeks, my heart hammering in my chest. “You’re not surprised.”
“Not entirely.”
My nostrils flare. “Why?”
He flips through the pages, scanning the Fae princess’s adolescent musings with a raised brow. “Why, what?”
“Why keep the truth from me?”
“Which truth are you referring to?”
I want to slap his stupid, handsome face.
“The fact that I’m part F-Fae.” The word catches in my throat, and my lungs constrict as I struggle to breathe. “How long have you known?”
His tongue clicks the roof of his mouth.
He turns a page. “A while.”
“How long?” I snap.
He finally looks up, a dark strand of hair falling over his eye. “Do you want the honest answer?”
“Yes,” I hiss.
He cocks his head to the side. “I suspected the night I first saw you.”
I rock back on my heels. “What?”
“It was quite obvious, really.” His attention returns to the diary, turning another page, continuing to speak as if we are discussing something as mundane as what we ate for breakfast, and not a truth that fundamentally changes the course of my life.
“Your heritage was made even more apparent once I witnessed your power the first time you connected with the curse.”
He means when the darkness in Darius’s chest attacked me.
Gods…
Did the darkness know what power I possess? Is that why it reacted to me so violently?
I snort.
Of course it did.
I should have known.
How did I not know?
I cross my arms and stare at the diary in Rian’s hands, cursing myself for how blind I’ve been.
Maybe I didn’t realize the truth at first, but after my light manifested—after hearing Anders describe human healing magic—I knew I was different.
Why didn’t I question why I was different?
Anders.
Oh…shit.
“What is it?”
My head snaps up. Rian’s gaze flickers over my face. His brows draw together.
There’s no point in lying. “Anders knows I have the diary.”
His body stills. “Oh?”
I bob my head. “He’s the one who told me who it belonged to… I told him Juniper gave it to me. That she was a Brownie. Do you…do you think he knows what I am?”
Gods damn it.
Of course he knows.
I handed the secret to him on a silver platter.
I don’t know Anders well at all. He could be telling Augustus the truth about me right now.
What will happen if he does?
Will they trap me in Virendrell?
Will I ever see Ferria again?
“Hey,” Rian says, voice softening. “It’s okay. Just breathe—”
“No.” I shake my head as strands of hair stick to my face and tears roll down my cheeks. “N-nothing is okay. This is…this is a nightmare.”
My entire life, I feared what would happen if someone discovered my magic. My own parents ran to escape persecution for their magic, leaving me and Ferria behind.
But at least one of my parents was part Fae.
Why would they leave us behind knowing what we are?
“Elara,” Rian bites out, “stop this right now. Breathe.”
If I weren’t in the middle of the panic attack to end all panic attacks, I might’ve laughed at the pained expression twisting the prince’s face.
Who knew the formidable Shadow Prince could be undone by a few tears?
I hiccup and drag my hands over my cheeks, but more tears are quick to come. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Would you have believed me if I tried?”
“Of course,” I snap.
The words are too quick.
Too sharp.
“Really?” He arches a dark brow.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to insist I would, but a surge of power in my chest pushes the words back.
Would I have believed Rian?
Back in Verdanthia, when I still wasn’t sure about the Fae—when I was determined to fulfill our deal and escape them at all costs—would I have believed him if he told me I was part Fae?
Would I have trusted him?
My power flares again.
I refocus my narrowed eyes on Rian and whisper, “You still should have told me.”
All softness fades. The stoic mask I’ve come to associate with the Shadow Prince falls into place.
“It wasn’t relevant.”
The words cut sharper than any blade.
A knot lodges behind my ribs. “Not relevant?”
Silver flares in his irises. “How would the truth have served you?”
A dark pulse emanates from his fists.
But…that can’t be.
He doesn’t have access to his power.
“How would it have helped you,” Rian continues, eyes intense, “to know you share blood with the very race you’ve been taught to despise?”
I jerk back. “I don’t despise Fae.”
“No?” He snorts. “You could have fooled me.”
The words sting. Far more than they should.
I grit my teeth. “I don’t despise Fae. I only despise you. You’ve lied to me. Tricked me—”
The deep timbre of his laugh rolls through the air, cutting off my words.
“Is that why you took my hand at the Late King’s Festival?” His eyes darken, and the air between us charges with something I dare not name.
He slides a boot forward.
My heartbeat quickens, but I refuse to retreat. “That was before.”
His second boot follows the first. “Before what?”
“Before I knew what a murderous villain you are.”
The silver encompasses the dark in his eyes. “Oh, Sunshine. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
My entire body trembles. “Don’t call me that.”
“Why not?” He takes another step.
Stubborn pride keeps me in place.
I don’t even flinch when his hand comes up, and he twists a strand of my hair around his forefinger.
“Because I don’t like being mocked.”
He stares at my hair, smoothing his thumb over the strands. “I am not mocking you.”
I sneer. “Yes, you—”
“You are the sunshine in my endless dark,” he says softly. “I knew it the moment I first saw you.”
My forearms tingle as the marks slither beneath my skin, gliding like something newly awakened. Heat blooms hotter in my chest and shoots straight down to my core.
“And no matter how hard I try,” he continues, voice low, “I can’t seem to keep my distance.”
My eyes widen.
He’s been trying to keep his distance?
Is that why he’s gone when I wake each morning?
No.
I’m the one trying to stay away. I’m the one drawing lines and holding boundaries.
He’s the bad guy.
I’m the victim, the captive held in place by his glowing silver stare.
Tension crackles between us, the same way it did in the dark alley outside the market square.
And in the captain’s cabin aboard the ship.
The way it always does when I hold Rian’s gaze for too long.
I should look away.
I should break whatever spell he’s been weaving around me since the moment our eyes first met.
But Gods save me, I don’t.
Rian’s molten stare holds me fast.
And in the stillness, I understand the truth I’ve been fighting since the beginning—
Whatever this is, resistance was doomed from the start.
The invisible rope that’s been pulling me to Rian, the one I’ve fought against since the beginning, tightens.
Reels me in.
On my next breath, every shred of resistance drains from my body. It happens fast, too fast for Rian to notice.
Not until my hands shoot out and fist his tunic.
His eyes flare black with dangerous promise, shadows that shouldn’t exist rushing forward before bleeding back to silver as I yank him toward me and lunge at the same time.
Thunder echoes through the world as our mouths collide.