Chapter 37
Thirty-Seven
Proteus
Avery long time later, Proteus lay on his side watching her sleep.
He had been perhaps a little too rough with her.
They were both new to this pleasure, and the last time he'd tasted her there had been a distinct metallic flavor of blood. He should have stopped then, but Ellie had convinced him to go one more time. He was big enough to stop her, but he didn’t have the willpower to do so.
She was so damn convincing when she wanted to be.
Eventually they had both grown tired, and no matter how much they wanted to keep going, sleep had claimed them. Or at least, it had claimed her.
Proteus had stayed up to watch her. This immensely wonderful woman who had stepped into his life was forever a strange and odd creature.
He liked watching her sleep anyway. The way her eyes twitched beneath her lids when she was dreaming, or how she breathed slowly but still curled into him when she wanted him to be beside her.
And she always expected him to be there.
He had gotten up only once. His scales had dried out, so he needed to soak them before they got flaky and itchy. She'd made a sound that had him freezing halfway into the water. Needy and light, it had been the sound of someone who was searching for him.
Fool woman. He was a monster. A terrifying beast of the sea and someone who could easily harm her beyond any reason.
But she still wanted to hold him. She wanted to grab onto his arm and snuggle into his chest as she slept. It calmed her. Made it easier for her to breathe and... Well, if that was all it took.
Ellie didn't seem to mind that he was damp when he joined her again. She tucked herself back into his grip and breathed out a long, relaxed sigh. As though she hadn't been able to sleep well without him.
How wonderful it was to be so adored.
Finally, as the sun broke through the clouds after a strangely calm and clear night, she opened her eyes to catch him staring at her. For a while, they just looked at each other. He watched the emotions dance across her features.
Relaxation. Calm. Joy that he was looking at her and, in turn, she could look at him. But then her features fell into something that looked like sadness and guilt.
"What is it?" he asked. He reached a hand up, toying with her chin until he made her look at him. "I know that expression. What is wrong, Sisu?"
She opened her mouth, closed it, and then seemed to think better of what she was going to say. "I don't want to ruin this perfect bubble we're in. I want to stay like this forever, Proteus. Just you, me, and the sea."
"You know we can't."
"I do." She took a deep breath. "They suspected that we were lying to them. They had seen some of the documents that Pilot had locked away from them. If I didn't tell them the whole truth, they were going to walk."
It wasn't all of it. He could tell. "What do you mean, they were going to walk? The trap was set perfectly. The option for the humans to return Above is one that no one else could ever give them. I was gifting them their home."
"But they could tell we were lying," she insisted. "They don't want to return to the surface without knowing everything."
Anger burned already in his chest, but he was careful to make sure that anger wasn't aimed at her.
She had been taken from him. Kidnapped. They might have even tortured the information out of her, and he had to know the whole story.
"What did they do to you? I know you, Ellie.
You wouldn't have told them everything without them threatening you. Did they harm you?"
Proteus lifted her arm, looking at the thin scab still on her wrist. He had seen every inch of her body, and he did not see more marks like this.
But they could have injected her with something.
They could have electrocuted her. He had seen their kind torturing others before.
There were a lot of options for pain that left no marks.
"I did the right thing," she whispered. This time, he felt her hand trembling in his grip. "I told them willingly, Proteus. They needed to know everything before they went to the surface."
Carefully, ever so carefully, he put her arm down. Proteus could feel himself getting angrier. The gills along his ribs flared wide, and he wanted... He wanted to hurt something.
His hearts could not believe that she would betray him like this. She didn't have it in her. His woman had always listened to him. If she had disagreed with him, she would have told him so.
Space. He needed to put space between them or he would do something he regretted.
Moving closer to the water, he took a deep, steadying breath. "Why would you do that?"
"I told you, it was the right thing to do."
"And now everything is ruined,” he hissed.
He stared at her as she sat up, wrapping her arms around her legs.
"If they know there is danger on the surface, they won't leave.
The sea will continue to fester with their pestilence that they spread through every inch of my homeland.
The humans need to get out of my sea or I will kill them all and remove the sickness at its source, Ellie. "
"They cannot go home if they don't understand the dangers. We have to prepare them."
"They will not return to the land because they destroyed it! It is a symbol of their shame!" he shouted. The words bounced all along the cavern, echoing back to them as though the gods themselves shared his belief.
He knew the truth. These humans wouldn't want to see the ruination of their planet. They didn't want to face their wrongs, because doing so required them to admit that they were wrong.
She shook her head. "They're still going along with it."
He scoffed. "You cannot know that. They will only return to Sanctuary to gut it for all the information it is worth, and then they will back out of the plan."
Perhaps it was his tone that made her angry as well. He rarely yelled at her like this, and when he did, it made her react as well.
Usually, he appreciated that she stood up and started yelling back. Even now, he enjoyed the redness of her cheeks and the hard clip of her tones as she gestured at him wildly.
"You should trust me!" she shouted back, her voice clipped and angry. "You should know that I have done all the research I needed to make this decision. I didn't tell them just because they asked. I looked over the whole situation before I agreed."
"And what did you discover? That they were sad and mistreated and you wanted to make them feel better?"
"Ugh!" She threw her hands in the air. "This is exactly what she said you would do. She warned me to stick to my choice, and that I would need to be strong to deal with you. Apparently, she saw right through you faster than I did."
That did it. No one else knew him better than she did, and the fact that someone else had wriggled their way into her head and told her how to think made him even angrier.
Proteus pulled himself back out of the water, dragging his body toward her with an angry growl. "How dare you take the word of someone else over me? How long have I taken care of you? How long have I proven that I will listen to your opinions if you just tell me!"
"You never listen to me! You just pretend and then do what you want anyway—”
"I have been trying, Ellie! I have tried for—”
"You aren't trying at all! You are pretending to try. That's not the same thing!"
He growled even deeper, the sound echoing through the chamber once more. "As if you listen to me when I speak—”
"I always listen to you—”
"You could have ruined everything!"
She planted her hands on his chest and shoved. It didn't do anything, of course. He was far too big for her to move, but it at least startled him into silence. Long enough for her to shout words he had never considered.
"They don't have a choice, Proteus!" She said the words right in his face, forcing him to hear every single one of them. "They're dying. All of them. The city, the people, the clones. Everyone. They don't have a choice. They have to move Above if they can. The city is overpopulated."
What she said seemed to vibrate around him. Surely that wasn't the truth. He couldn't have overlooked something as simple as overpopulation.
But then he must have. He had seen how packed Beta was when he had looked at it in passing.
He hadn't even swum by the other city that was still running, because why would he?
The humans needed to leave, and that was all that mattered.
He could trick them. Lie, cheat, steal, until they were out of his sea for good and then he could bar them from ever returning.
Every part of him had been so convinced that he knew what he was doing, he'd never suspected that they wouldn't be able to make another choice.
"They're choking themselves," he murmured. "Too many of them are in that city, and they don't have enough food, do they?"
"No. They don't have enough resources, and they are outpacing what they can sustain.
There are only two cities left, and even if they put rules on children, the clones have added another problem entirely.
" She rubbed her arms, a sudden chill raising all the bumps on her skin.
"That's why the other scientists were so hesitant to have me around. "
"What do you mean?"
"The clones aren't children. They aren't adding anything to the population other than stagnant genes.
Beta has been very particular about who is allowed to marry who, and while some of my kind are new blood, they can't just keep adding in the same genetics over and over again.
Food is scarce. They want the food to be going to real people.
People who have been born to those who have survived under the sea for so long. "
Not people like her.
People who were clones of another, someone who had already lived and affected the world in some way or another.
No wonder the humans had no interest in talking to her. He could see it through their eyes. She was like all the other clones. Stealing part of their lives. Their jobs. The food. Not even a real person, at the end of the day, because she had no parents at all.
Something in him snapped at that. He drew her into his arms, holding her against his chest even though he was still very angry at her. She should have talked to him. Told him all of what she was feeling long before this.
But he'd be damned if she thought she was lesser than the people who lived in the city.
"You deserve all that they have and more," he said into her hair. "You are not less than them because you were born in the way that you were. You deserve a life, to take up space, to be who you were meant to be. They do not get to tell you that you are worth less than they are."
"But what if I am?"
He drew back and gave her a little shake. "You are not. A single drop of your blood has more bravery and kindness than any of those people who would judge you for something so foolish as the lack of parents. You are a person, just like they are, Ellie. Repeat it to me."
She gulped. "I am a person."
"Say it again."
"I'm a person, and it doesn't matter what they think of me." A small smile touched her lips. "And you are still very mad at me."
"I am."
"Why?"
He breathed out a long, low sigh. "Because you should have told me.
Because I let you get taken from me, and I know you were scared.
Even though you have done all the things I feared you might do, I still think very highly of you.
I wish I could be angry and decide I want nothing to do with you, but I cannot do that.
Because you are you, and I am me, and I fear we were meant to be tied together like this.
Gloriously angry at each other for the rest of eternity. "
Ellie shifted in his grip, her hands reaching up to trace the hard outline of his lips. He was still very angry. He wanted to nip her fingers to punish her a little more.
But she was so gentle as she touched his mouth. Gentle as she whispered, "I think that's called love, Proteus."
"No," he snarled, finally giving in and nipping her fingers. But it was a soft bite, more meant to startle than to hurt. "You insult those feelings by calling it something so small as love."
"Love is the biggest feeling a person can have."
"It is not. There are unnamed feelings. Feelings of a soul who has found their other half.
Feelings of knowing that you are with the person the very universe guided you to.
You are that person for me, Ellie. You are more than just a love, because love can fade.
What I feel for you is as permanent and endless as the sea. "
She softened against his chest with every word, drawn closer and closer to him until she finally let out a sigh and kissed him again.
He was still angry with her. Furious, even. But his plans hadn't gone awry after all. She had merely cemented that the humans would do what they said, and they would make sure that no matter what happened, the People of Water would soon be the only ones left in the sea.
Taking a deep breath, he wrapped his arms around her and tightened his grip until she let out a little squeak.
"I will find you food. We will rest here for a while longer before we return.
I think it's long past time I had an honest conversation with the people in that dome, and perhaps we will show them all that we know. "
"Really?" she asked, leaning back to look him in the eyes. "Do you mean it?"
"I do." He traced her jaw before releasing her. "Sometimes you are right, Sisu. Even if it infuriates me."
And then he headed back into the water before he did something stupid. Like sinking back into her arms for more hours on end, just because he found her to be so thoroughly captivating.