22. Ember
EMBER
Istare at him, heart hammering so hard I can feel it in my throat.
Sully is still between my legs, fingers glistening with me, eyes dark and hungry as he slowly licks them clean. The sight is so filthy, so raw, that my pussy clenches again like it’s begging for more.
I’m shocked.
I’m turned on.
I’m so fucking confused.
I just came harder than I ever have in my life, on my brother’s best friend’s hand, in the middle of the kitchen, while my best friend could walk in at any moment. And instead of feeling guilty … I feel alive.
Sully’s voice is low, rough. “I hope you don’t regret this.”
I shake my head quickly. “What? Why would you …” Of course he would think that after what happened in Maine. “No. Never.”
His eyes soften for a second, but the heat is still there. He leans in, brushing his lips against mine in a slow, sensual kiss that makes my toes curl.
“Do you want more?” he murmurs against my mouth.
I hesitate, breath shaky. “I … I don’t know.”
He pulls back just enough to look at me, thumb stroking my bottom lip. His cock is rock hard, straining against pajama pants, and I can’t stop my eyes from dropping to it. The outline is thick, obvious, and the sight makes my core throb again.
I swallow hard. “Do you … need help with that?”
A low, amused sound rumbles in his chest. “No, I can rub one out in my bed. But thank you for offering.” He steps back, but not before his eyes drag down my body, lingering between my legs where I’m still exposed and wet. “You don’t wear underwear to bed?” he asks, voice dropping.
My cheeks burn. “Um … no, they annoy me.”
He lets out a rough breath, running a hand through his hair. “You’re killing me. Now that I know this, I don’t know if I can un-know it.”
The words hang between us, heavy and sweet and so full of want. He looks at me for a long moment, eyes soft but burning. “I’m just going to say it. Em, if you want this again, any time, day or night, you know where my room is.”
I stare at him in surprise.
Then he turns and walks away, leaving me sitting on the counter, legs still trembling, heart racing.
I barely sleep that night. Every time I close my eyes, I feel his fingers inside me, hear his filthy words in my ear, see the way he looked at me like he wanted to devour me whole. My body is still buzzing, sensitive and aching in the best way.
At some point in the night, my mind drifts back to the first time we were together.
I was seventeen and Kevin and I had broken up again.
It was like the fourth time that year. I had just found out that he’d lost his virginity to Rachel Meyer, the girl that I hated more than anyone at that school.
She had great pleasure in telling me that she took something from me, that I would never be Kevin’s first, that she would always have that over me.
I was devastated, humiliated that he would do that to me.
I always thought I was going to be his first. We had been waiting for so long, and then he just gave it away to her.
Cassidy took me back to her place for a sleepover, her parents were away for the weekend, so we had the place to ourselves.
We had the best night singing and dancing and eating pizza and ice cream, but then she asked me if I would hate her if she went over and saw Trevor, who lived a couple of doors down from her.
I was a little hurt, but it wasn’t her fault Kevin was a dick.
So, I told her to go, someone needed to get laid.
I stayed there in the dark of the basement where we had set up for the sleepover, getting angrier.
I couldn’t believe Kevin had done that to me, I thought he loved me.
I thought he was the one. It wasn’t fair that he’d gone and slept with someone else, and I knew that in a week’s time he’d come crawling back to me like he always did, and I’d be the idiot who took him back.
I’m done. Fuck you, Kevin. I was going to find someone so much better to lose my virginity to.
That was when I realized Connor was home and he had helped me out last time.
Fuck you, Kevin.
So, before I lost my nerve, I rushed upstairs and found Connor’s room. The door was cracked open. I pushed it gently, heart pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears. He was lying on his bed in the dark, one arm behind his head, on his phone. When he saw me, he sat up fast, surprised.
“Em? What’s wrong?”
I closed the door behind me and leaned against it, trying to keep my voice steady.
“I want you to take my virginity.”
He stared at me, mouth open, completely shocked.
“What?”
“You heard me.” My voice cracked. “Kevin slept with Rachel. He gave her something that was supposed to be mine. I don’t want him to have it. He doesn’t deserve my virginity, but I also don’t want to give it to some random either. I want to give it to someone who cares about me. Someone I trust.”
He swallowed hard. “Em … I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Please.” I walked over to his bed and sat on the edge. “I’m not asking you to be my boyfriend. I just … I want my first time to mean something.”
“I’m not sure I’m worthy though,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.
“I do. You’re one of my closest friends. I know you would never hurt me. Plus, from what I hear you … um …” I bit my bottom lip. “You know what you’re doing.”
His brows rose. “Is that so?” He chuckled.
“That’s what I’ve heard around school.”
“Didn’t realize people were talking.” He frowned.
“It’s all good,” I reassured him. “Look, you would be doing me a favor. I’m so sick of having this virginity thing hanging over my head. I kind of want it over and done with.”
“That shouldn’t be a reason to have sex though,” he told me.
I rolled my eyes. “If you don’t want to sleep with me, I get it. You’re into cheerleaders and things …” I told him. As I went to get up off his bed, he reached out and grabbed my wrist.
“That’s not what I am saying, Em.”
“Then what?”
“I want you to be certain. I don’t want you to regret it or me.”
Oh.
“Never,” I confessed to him.
He looked at me for a long moment, eyes soft, and then he nodded. “Okay,” he whispered. “But only if you’re sure.”
I nodded, heart racing.
He pulled me into his arms, kissing me gently at first, then deeper as I climbed onto his lap.
His hands shook as he touched me, like he was afraid he’d break me.
We were both clumsy, clothes coming off in awkward tugs, laughter mixing with nerves when his elbow hit the lamp.
When he finally pushed inside me, it hurt, but he stopped immediately, and whispered, “Did I hurt you?” I bit my lip and shook my head.
“Don’t stop,” I begged him.
And he didn’t.
Afterward, he held me close, stroking my hair while I snuggled into his chest.
“I’ve got you,” he whispered.
I laugh softly in the dark, pressing my face into my pillow.
History really is repeating itself. Except this time, Sully isn’t the nervous boy he was back then.
He’s a man, a filthy, confident man who just made me come so hard I saw stars.
And instead of feeling used or guilty, I feel hungry, like one taste wasn’t enough.
I roll over, squeezing my thighs together, still feeling the ghost of his fingers inside me.
I want more.
I just don’t know if I’m brave enough to go get it.
The next morning, I come out of my room later than usual, still feeling the aftershocks of last night humming under my skin. I feel … different, lighter, as if I just got rid of something heavy weighing me down.
Yeah, an ex-husband.
My body is sore in the best way, sensitive and aware, and there’s a glow in my cheeks I can’t hide no matter how much I try. Cassidy is already at the kitchen island, scrolling on her phone. She looks up when I walk in, and her eyebrows shoot up.
“Wow, you look happy this morning.”
I freeze for half a second, then force a casual smile. “A good night’s sleep will do that, I guess,” I lie.
She narrows her eyes, studying me. “Uh huh, sure.”
Before I can say anything else, Sully walks out of his room, hair still damp from the shower, wearing gray sweats and a black T-shirt. Our eyes meet across the kitchen. He doesn’t say a word, just gets to work on making us coffee.
“You’re up late,” Cassidy asks him.
“Couldn’t sleep,” he mumbles as he starts up the coffee machine.
“Maybe you should be following Em’s nightly routine because she is glowing from a good night’s sleep,” Cass tells her brother.
He stills, and I watch the muscles move and contract in his back. “Yeah? I’d like to know more about this amazing nightly routine that helps Ember sleep well.”
Panic takes over my body, and I laugh awkwardly as he slides my summer coffee across the island toward me, cold brew with coconut milk and lavender honey, exactly how I like it. His fingers brush mine for a second longer than necessary. I take the mug, cheeks burning, and mutter a quiet, “Thanks.”
He nods once, eyes lingering on me a beat too long, then turns back to the fridge like nothing happened. I hide my face behind my coffee mug, heart racing, body still remembering exactly how good his fingers felt inside me last night.
And the worst part?
I already want more.
A couple of nights later, I can’t sleep again.
I slip out of bed and pad quietly to the kitchen, but I notice that the TV is on low, some random late-night sports show flickering in the dark.
Sully is on the couch, legs spread, one arm draped over the back, wearing nothing but those gray sweats.
He looks up when I walk in, neither of us saying a word.
I walk straight over to him and climb onto his lap, straddling him, knees on either side of his hips.
I’ve never been so bold in my life. His hands automatically go to my waist, steadying me as I settle against him.
“Em?”
“Shh, just go with it,” I say as I lean in and kiss him.
He kisses me back instantly, deep and hungry, hands sliding under my oversized T-shirt to grip my bare ass.
I rock against him, feeling how hard he is through his sweats, the thick length pressing right against me.
The friction is perfect. I moan into his mouth, grinding harder, chasing that feeling again.
His fingers dig into my ass, guiding me, helping me ride the hard ridge of his cock.
His mouth moves to my neck, sucking, biting, while one hand slides between us, thumb finding my clit and rubbing slow, perfect circles.
I kiss down his neck, sucking lightly on his pulse point, tasting the salt of his skin.
He groans, low and rough, and his other hand slides up under my shirt, cupping my breast, his thumb brushing over my nipple until it’s hard and aching.
He pulls my shirt up, exposing me, and leans in, taking one nipple into his mouth, sucking hard, tongue flicking over it while his fingers pinch and roll the other.
I arch into him, a soft cry escaping my lips as pleasure shoots straight between my legs. He switches sides, sucking harder, teeth grazing just enough to make me gasp. His other hand keeps working my clit in slow, teasing circles, keeping me right on the edge.
“Fuck, Em,” he murmurs against my breast, voice wrecked. “You’re so sensitive. So, fucking responsive. I could play with these tits for hours.”
I’m losing my mind, grinding against his hand, kissing his neck, his shoulder, anywhere I can reach.
The combination of his mouth on my breasts and his fingers between my legs is too much.
I come hard, biting his shoulder to muffle my moan, thighs shaking around him as the orgasm crashes through me.
He holds me through it, still sucking gently on my nipple, drawing it out until I’m trembling and whimpering.
When I finally come down, I rest my forehead against his, breathing hard.
He kisses my temple, soft and sweet, and whispers, “Go back to bed, Em.”
“What about …?” Feeling how hard he is against me.
“It’s okay, I’ve got it,” he reassures me.
“Are you sure?” I ask him.
“You ready to drop to your knees and suck my cock like a good girl?” he asks.
Kevin hated me giving him a blow job, he said I was no good at it. Then I still, I was no good compared to Trevor. That thought turns my stomach.
Oh my god. How could I be so stupid?
“Em …?” Sully sits up noticing the change in me. “I … sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.”
I shake my head. “No … I …” I suck in a deep breath. “Kevin used to hate me giving him a blow job,” I confess.
“He what!” Sully exclaims.
“And I’ve only just realized why.” I burst out laughing, probably from trauma. Sully gives me a weird expression. “Because obviously Trevor was better at giving head than me.” Sully’s eyes widen, and then I get the giggles. I can’t stop laughing, which is not sexy and definitely a mood killer.
“Are you okay?” he asks, as I wipe the tears away.
“I’m sorry … especially … because …” I wave my hand between us.
“I asked you to suck my cock?” He arches a brow.
“Yeah. I’m sorry I killed the mood.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” he reassures me. “Honestly, you walking in here tonight, not saying a word, and taking what you wanted. Fantasy ticked off.”
“That was a fantasy?”
“Since the other night, I have been hoping that something like that would happen again,” he confesses.
“You did?”
He nods. “Now, I just want to let you know. Any straight man will never, and I mean never, tell a woman she is bad at head because even bad head is good head,” he explains.
I bite my bottom lip. “Really?”
“Fuck yeah, and I’ve had many blow jobs.”
Of course he has, and I bet most have been good because I’m sure the puck bunnies know exactly what they are doing.
“Do you think you can teach me?”
Sully stills. “What did you say?”
“All this …” I wave my hands around again. “You’ve probably been with a lot of people, and I’ve only been with two.”
“Not that many,” he adds.
“But still more than me. I’m scared of being bad at all this,” I confess to him.
“Em, you are not bad at this, I can assure you.”
“But I haven’t done anything to you, though.”
“Believe me, touching you is enough. My dick has been hard since Maine.”
Oh.
“But if you want help then, I can help you.”
“You will?” I’m surprised. “You’re the only person I trust. I need a sex guide to help me get back onto the dating scene.”
“Then let me be your sex guide.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really,” he assures me.
“And Cassidy and Emmett cannot know.”
“Obviously,” he agrees.
“Are you sure about this? I’m really pushing the friendship,” I tell him.
“What are friends for?” He smirks.
“Thank you,” I say as I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his face.