Ember
“Iwant to take you out on a date, Em.” The words are like ice water over my body.
We’re lying in his bed, tangled together, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on my bare back. He’s being so sweet again, kissing my shoulder, telling me how beautiful I am, how happy he is when I’m here in his arms.
Shit, I wasn’t expecting this at all. Sully is the biggest playboy. I thought he was happy with just having sex. Have I been giving him mixed signals?
I take a deep breath. “Sully … we need to talk.”
He stills, then props himself up on one elbow to look at me. “Okay, what’s on your mind?”
I sit up, pulling the sheet around me, suddenly nervous.
“This … us … it’s amazing. The sex is incredible.
I love how you experiment with me, how you push me and teach me things I never knew existed.
I love how filthy you get, how you make me feel so wanted and desired.
You’ve unlocked something in me I didn’t know was there.
But I need to be honest. I don’t want a relationship right now.
I’m focused on my career, on building Sullivan Black with Cassidy.
This, what we’re doing, I thought it was a friends-with-benefits thing. ”
Sully swallows. “Can’t friends take friends out?”
Oh.
I’m the biggest idiot as my cheeks turn pink with embarrassment. He wasn’t thinking this was any more than sex either.
I let out a nervous laugh. “I mean yes, of course friends can go out. I just … I thought when you said date you meant like a real date.”
“Sorry, I should have been clearer. I kind of wanted to get you out of the house, as most nights you and Cass are in. New York has so many great restaurants that you should be out there exploring them.”
Oh.
“You want to be my New York restaurant guide now?” I tease.
“Yeah, training camp is coming up so I need to eat all the bad stuff as soon as I can, because once the season starts, it’s back to boring chicken and rice.” He groans.
“That sounds great. I should be exploring more than I have, but I’ve been so caught up with the business that I don’t have the energy to go out at the end of the day. Also, there’s this guy who likes to keep me up all night.” I smile.
“He sounds like a great guy, very giving, especially with his tongue.” He smirks darkly.
“Especially with his tongue and his fingers.”
“You got to stop talking dirty to me, Em, my dick is ready to go again.”
I love his stamina, it makes sense, he is a professional athlete. I’m ready to go again as I roll him onto his back but hover just above him.
“We’re on the same page, aren’t we?” I ask him.
“What do you mean?” he asks.
“What’s going on between us. It’s casual, right?”
“Right.” He nods.
“And um, you’re not like tied to me in any way, shape, or form, so if you want to date other people, I’m okay with that,” I tell him.
His brows rise high. “Okay,” he answers hesitantly.
“I mean it. I don’t want you to stop being single just because I’ve been sneaking into your room. You don’t owe me anything,” I tell him.
“Other than orgasms?”
My brows pull together. “You don’t owe me them either, but they are great. I don’t want to hurt you. You’re one of my closest friends, and thanks to you and your magic appendages, you have changed me for the better. I don’t know if I’ve told you in so many ways, but thank you.”
“I haven’t done anything.”
“See, but you have. I didn’t realize how badly Kevin had been treating me over the years and how much I had changed to fit him. How much I had lost myself in that marriage. And being with you reminded me of who I once was.”
The words hang between us. Sully is quiet for a long moment, his fingers still tracing lazy patterns on my back, but I can feel the shift in his body as he processes everything I just said.
“You’re saying all of this is helping you heal?” he asks softly.
I nod, resting my chin on his chest so I can look at him. “Yes, it’s more than just the sex. It’s the way you make me feel safe, you listen, you make me laugh even when I’m in my head. I feel like I’m finally becoming me again. The me I lost somewhere along the way with Kevin.”
He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m glad, really. That’s all I want for you, Em, is to be happy.”
“You’ve always been so good to me. Imagine how different life would have been if I had chosen you.”
The words slip out before I can stop them.
Sully stills.
The memory hits me hard, pulling me back to that night when everything changed.
I was eighteen, Cassidy’s parents were away again, and we were having another sleepover in the basement.
I had just had another massive fight with Kevin, and we had broken up again.
Sully had come home late from hockey practice.
He found me in the kitchen, crying while I waited for Cass to get home from work.
I told him everything, all the stupid fights, that Kevin was super jealous when I hung out with him.
He constantly accused me of cheating on him with Sully.
That he was the reason I had drifted away from group catch-ups.
And he listened like he always did, no judgment, no curse words about Kevin even though I knew he was thinking them.
Then he said the words that changed everything.
“I love you, Em. I have loved you for years,” he declared.
I gasped.
“Fuck Kevin. Choose me. I just … I want to be the one who gets to love you the way you deserve.”
I was stunned, I had no idea he felt that way. Connor Sullivan, the star hockey player, the one all the girls wanted, was in love with me. Me.
For a second, I let myself imagine it. I stepped into his space and kissed him. He pulled me into his arms and deepened the kiss.
“What the fuck?” a deep voice called out.
Sully and I pulled apart quickly, and when I turned around, I saw Cassidy and Trevor standing there in shock. He turned around and walked out the door.
“I don’t know what the hell is going on between the two of you, but I never want to see it happen again.” Cassidy stormed out, leaving me standing there, heart pounding, guilt crashing over me like a wave.
I looked at Sully, his face pale, eyes full of pain.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I can’t. I love Kevin.”
He closed his eyes and turned away from me, defeated. After that moment, it was never spoken about again.
Stupidly, I chose Kevin.
I blink back to the present, looking up at Sully in the dim light of his room. He’s watching me, thumb stroking my cheek.
“I’m sorry I hurt you back then,” I whisper. “I was young, scared, and stupid. I thought Kevin was the safe choice. I didn’t realize how much I was giving up.”
He leans down and kisses me softly, almost tenderly. “What ifs can’t change the past,” he says sadly.
“I don’t want to hurt you again,” I confess.
“I’m a big boy, Ember.”
His voice is soft as he leans down and kisses me again, slow and gentle. When he pulls back, his thumb strokes my cheek, eyes searching mine.
“I’m okay with being just friends with benefits. There are no expectations, no strings attached to what we are doing. Just us, enjoying each other for however long that is.”
I nod, relief and guilt swirling in my stomach. “Thank you. I just … I don’t want to lose you as a friend. You mean too much to me.”
“You won’t,” he promises, pulling me back into his arms. “I’m not going anywhere, Em. I’m here for whatever you need.”
We lie there in silence for a while, his fingers tracing patterns on my back again. I can feel the steady beat of his heart under my cheek, strong and reassuring. It would be so easy to fall for him. To let myself believe in the “what ifs.”
But I can’t.
I’m not ready.
And I don’t know if I ever will be.
I'm halfway through fixing my lipstick when my phone buzzes.
Cassidy: Don't kill me.
That's never a good start.
Cassidy: Nelly and I got carried away with the apartment.
Ember: Liar.
Cassidy: Okay, we got carried away with each other.
I snort. The typing bubble appears again.
Cassidy: Um, so my beautiful bestie ….
Ember: You’re not canceling on dinner tonight.
Cassidy: Please, Em. I don’t want to get out of his bed. Can you cover for me?
Ember: I’m not going to go to dinner with your brother without you.
Cassidy: Why not?
Ember: It would be weird.
Cassidy: No, it wouldn’t. Go on, use it as practice for when you go on a real date.
Ember: This is not a date.
Cassidy: Ew. That would be weird. I know it’s not a date, but you haven’t gone out to dinner with another man since high school, and it’s just Connor. He’s safe.
She has no idea how wrong she is. Sully is not safe to be alone around. The bedroom door opens behind me.
"You ready?" Sully asks, stopping when he sees me laughing at my phone.
"Um, yeah …” I answer, distracted. He gives me a look.
Ember: You owe me.
Cassidy: I know. Love you. Have fun.
"So ..." I start. "It’s only going to be us tonight. Cass just canceled. She’s working late at Nelly’s.”
He studies me for a second. “Seems rather late.”
“Apparently, he had organized takeout so they could run over some plans. It’s our first job, you know, we want to make sure we launch right. So, we might be going over and above right now. But he is letting us document the process for our socials, so …”
He nods, taking in all the bullshit that I just spewed at him.
"We don't have to go," I say, tucking my phone into my handbag.
"Oh, I've been looking forward to trying that restaurant."
"So have I," I confess.
“Then let’s go.” He smiles softly.
“Won’t it be weird now it’s just the two of us?” I ask him.
He shakes his head. “No, just two friends having dinner, nothing weird about that. Plus, sounds like Cassidy is fine with it.”
She is, only because she has no idea what has been happening behind the scenes.
“Come on, I’m starved,” he says, heading toward the front door. I follow him. He holds the door open for me. "After you." I walk past him, catching the familiar scent of his cologne.
This is not a date.
We walk down the street to this cute Italian place we pass all the time but haven’t had a chance to go into until now.
The restaurant is tucked away on a quiet corner, with warm golden light spilling out onto the sidewalk from the large windows.
The sign above the door reads "Nonna Rosa" in elegant script, and the smell of garlic, fresh basil, and baking bread hits me the second we step inside.
The interior is cozy and romantic, with exposed brick walls, soft lighting from hanging Edison bulbs, wooden tables with crisp white tablecloths, and little vases of fresh flowers on each table.
Jazz music plays softly in the background, and the place is busy but not loud.
It feels intimate, too intimate for "just friends".
The hostess leads us to a small table by the window.
Sully pulls out my chair for me before sitting across from me.
The candle on the table flickers between us, casting soft shadows on his face.
He looks good tonight, dark button-down shirt, sleeves rolled up, showing off his forearms. He’s smiling at me over his menu, that easy, charming smile that makes my stomach flip.
We order a bottle of red wine and some appetizers; calamari, bruschetta, and a charcuterie board.
The conversation flows easily at first, the business, the upcoming training camp, and funny stories about the guys.
But the longer we sit here, the more the "friends" label feels like a thin veil because I can’t stop checking him out, along with a lot of other women tonight.
“This place is nice,” I say, trying to keep things light. “I can see why you wanted to come here.”
“Yeah,” he says, eyes on me. “I’ve been wanting to come here since we moved in.”
“Where else do you want to try?” I ask, and that sets him off on a long list of culinary establishments he wants to try before training camp, and before I know it, I’m agreeing.
The main courses arrive of homemade gnocchi for me, and osso buco for him.
But underneath it all, there’s a current of something else.
The way his foot brushes mine under the table.
The way his eyes linger on my mouth when I take a bite.
The way he listens when I talk, like I’m the only person in the room.
By the time dessert arrives, tiramisu to share, I’m hyper-aware of every look, every small touch, every smile, and the red wine isn’t helping either as it lowers my inhibitions.
When Sully excuses himself to go to the bathroom, I quickly pull out my phone and text Cass.
Ember: What time are you coming home? We are about to leave the restaurant, and I know your brother is going to have questions.
Cassidy: Tell him I’m going out with Marlowe and I’m going to crash at her place.
Ember: Okay, got it. Have fun.
Cassidy: Debrief tomorrow.
Ember: Sure.
“The bill’s all settled. Are you ready to head back?” he says.
“We could have split it,” I tell him, as he helps me get up out of my chair.
“No, and I don’t want to hear some argument about independence or whatever Cassidy usually says. It’s my shout, end of,” he tells me as he places his hand on the small of my back and ushers me out the door.
The walk home is dangerous. The red wine has loosened everything, my self-control and the careful walls I’ve been trying to keep up.
The city lights blur around us as we walk side by side, the cool night air doing nothing to cool the heat between us.
Sully’s hand brushes mine every few steps, and neither of us pulls away.
At one point he casually drapes his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer as we cross the street.
I lean into him, my head resting against his shoulder for a second before I catch myself and straighten up.
“Sorry,” I mutter.
“Don’t be,” he says, voice low. His thumb strokes my shoulder, sending sparks down my spine.
We try to keep it casual, talking about nothing, but the tension is thick. Every accidental touch feels electric, and by the time we reach the apartment building, I’m buzzing with want.