5. Lucy
LUCY
L ucy stood outside her dorm, shivering slightly in the frosty November air, as Elliot pulled up in the front circle in his trusty red car.
This time, he wasn’t alone. Sunil, Mike, and Dominic were already in the car.
Lucy opened the trunk, tossed her duffel bag inside, and then got into the back seat next to her brother. He nudged her shoulder.
“Are you excited?”
“So excited.” Lucy fastened her seatbelt and sat back as Elliot navigated the car out of the circle. “I really feel like one of the guys.” Elliot caught her eye in the rearview mirror, and they shared a tiny smile before looking away. Lucy’s heart soared.
Every year, Dominic and his friends rented a beach house on the cold Atlantic coast for Thanksgiving weekend.
In past years, Lucy had always been sad that Dominic didn’t come home for Thanksgiving, but this year, she was thrilled that she’d been invited to join them.
She couldn’t wait to stroll along the beach, eat Chinese takeout for Thanksgiving dinner, and hopefully spend a few moments alone with Elliot.
Lucy caught Dominic looking at her and smiled at him.
Hopefully, he hadn’t noticed her and Elliot exchanging a glance in the rearview mirror.
It was hard keeping such a big secret from Dominic, but Lucy didn’t have any other choice.
After all, as much as she might wish things were different, she and Elliot were just casual.
He’d never made any indication that he wanted something serious or lasting, so, in all likelihood, their relationship would end next spring when Elliot graduated.
And she didn’t. It didn’t seem worth risking Elliot’s relationship with Dominic, or Lucy’s, for something that was only temporary.
Even if their relationship was also the best thing in Lucy’s life so far.
She’d never imagined her first love would be so amazing.
Each moment with Elliot felt like a lifetime, especially when he was holding her in his arms and kissing her, or when they strolled through the campus hand in hand under the stars and talked for hours.
Their relationship was only temporary, but Lucy would remember it forever.
“It’s a three-hour drive,” Dominic informed Lucy. “So, we’ll get there just before lunch. There’s a diner that should be open where we can eat.”
“Cool.” Lucy beamed. “I’ve been told that this road trip has a great soundtrack.”
“You’re right about that.” Sunil, who was sitting in the front seat, hooked his phone up to the car’s stereo system, and moments later, an upbeat eighties rock song came over the speakers.
The guys started dancing and, to Lucy’s delight, even singing along.
Dominic grooved the most for the first song, but after that, he sat back and looked out the window with a thoughtful expression, even though his friends kept dancing.
Lucy’s stomach pinched. She and Elliot had been careful, but maybe Dominic was quiet because he’d noticed something between them.
With a little shake of her head, Lucy banished the thought. Her brother might be tired or carsick or thinking about finals or any one of a hundred things other than suspicious of her and Elliot. She couldn’t let herself worry about Dominic finding out about them.
The road trip took them through the rolling green hills and beautiful fall colors of Massachusetts, where their college was, then up the coast for another hour or so.
They stopped outside a small, picturesque town to check into their digs for the week, which was a rented house with two bedrooms and a modest kitchen.
The guys immediately broke into a spirited disagreement over who should get the bedrooms, until it was decided that Lucy would get her own while Dominic and Mike would share the other with Sunil on the rollaway bed — much to his distaste.
Elliot grudgingly agreed to sleep on the sofa, though he winked at Lucy when everyone had their backs turned. Lucy’s heart fluttered at his look.
Once everyone had claimed their rooms, they piled back into the car to drive into town for lunch.
Lucy ordered chocolate pancakes, even though it was past breakfast time, and laughed as the guys wolfed down enough food to feed a small army.
To her surprise, though, Dominic just picked at his Rueben and fries. He looked a bit distant again.
“Everything all right?” Lucy asked, stealing one of his fries.
Dominic glanced at her and grinned. “Not at all. You just took my fry, Lucy Goose. That’s unforgivable.”
“Too late.” Lucy popped the fry into her mouth. “Ha-ha.”
“Hilarious.” Dominic smiled at her again before grabbing a fork and cutting off a section of her pancake. “This is my payback.”
After that, he seemed relatively boisterous again, but Lucy kept watching him out of the corner of her eye.
The afternoon was spent walking on the beach and throwing a frisbee around.
Lucy and Elliot kept a careful distance from each other, especially when evening came and everyone piled onto the couch to watch a movie, but their eyes met over and over.
Each time, Lucy felt a little thrill. She kept imagining what might happen after everyone went to sleep.
Would she and Elliot finally get a moment alone?
Dinner was pasta, which Dominic enlisted Lucy to help him cook.
“I really don’t know how I’m going to help,” Lucy said as Dominic pulled her into the kitchen. “I’m just as clueless as you.”
“Come on. Mom didn’t give you any secret lessons?”
“Nope. I think the biggest cooking lesson I ever had was not to put things in the microwave too long.” Lucy leaned against the counter and surveyed the small kitchen. “I’m sure we can figure it out, though.”
“We can always figure things out together, can’t we?” Dominic looked at her a moment too long before turning to the bags of groceries they’d picked up in town. “How long should we boil the pasta, anyway?”
“I really don’t know. Twenty minutes? Or is that rice?”
“I really feel like it’s less than that…” Dominic flipped the package over and read the instructions. “Twelve minutes, apparently. There’s some sauce in a jar somewhere.”
“Okay, just a second.”
As they cooked together, Lucy felt like they were kids again, assigned a chore by their parents.
It was a strangely nice feeling, though she kept shooting glances into the living room where the rest of the guys were playing a brutal game of Sorry!
Part of her, a large part, wanted to be with Elliot right now, but Lucy told herself sternly to enjoy this time with her brother.
Elliot wouldn’t always be in her life, but Dominic would.
That night, after a dinner of slightly chewy pasta and salad from a bag, everyone played a few more rounds of Sorry!
before drifting off to bed. Lucy took a long shower to wash the salty air off her hair and skin, then changed into pajama pants and a tank top.
The guys stayed awake for a while longer, but once Dominic, Mike, and Sunil were in their room, Lucy made a beeline for the stairs.
To her delight, she practically ran into Elliot on the way down.
“Shhhh,” he said, setting her on her feet. “Come on.”
Downstairs, he led her to the door, and they slipped on winter boots and jackets.
Elliot pulled his own hat over Lucy’s ears and wrapped her scarf warmly around her neck.
He eased the door open, both of them wincing at the creak, and they slipped out into the cold November night.
Hand in hand, they followed the sound of crashing waves onto the beach.
The ocean looked dark, but the full moon was reflected on the waves, casting everything in a beautiful silvery light.
Hundreds of stars twinkled at them from overhead.
“How do you like the guys’ beach trip so far?” Elliot asked as they crossed the hard-packed sand near the water.
“It’s great.” Lucy grinned at him. “I wish I had a little more time with one specific guy, though.”
“Sunil?” Elliot suggested, and Lucy mock-punched him.
“You know it’s you. Although I do like Sunil and Mike and Dominic, too.” Lucy paused. “Do you think Dominic’s been acting a little strange?”
“Maybe.” Elliot let out a short sigh. “But I’ve felt like that since we started seeing each other. I think it’s mostly paranoia on our part.”
“I feel bad.” Lucy scuffed her boot against the sand. “I don’t like lying to him.”
“Me neither.” Elliot squeezed her hand. For a moment, they were silent, simply listening to the sound of the waves washing over the beach and smelling the salty air. Lucy tilted her head back to take in the stars.
“Do you know any constellations?” she asked.
“Uh, I know the Big Dipper and the North Star. But that’s about it.”
“I don’t know any.” Lucy pondered. “Maybe I should take an astronomy class.”
“You’re such a nerd.” Grinning, Elliot spun her towards him.
“Hey!”
“No, it’s a good thing. You’re a cute nerd.
” And he leaned in to kiss her, slow and deep and gentle.
In an instant, Lucy wished they were in her room instead of on the beach in heavy jackets.
They’d never done… that… but Lucy would certainly like a little time alone with Elliot to explore what was between them.
This was enough for now, though. Elliot held her close, his kisses tender and a little minty, his hands warm as they slipped beneath her jacket. Lucy pressed closer to Elliot as his palms skimmed over her lower back. Her arms were around his shoulders.
“You look beautiful,” Elliot said.
“I’m sure I do, in my pajamas with my hair messy,” Lucy answered, but Elliot shook his head.
“No, listen. You’re beautiful, Lucy. And not just that — you’re amazing. I have?—”
Just then, a wave washed over their feet, sending cold water spilling into their boots. They both yelped as Elliot pulled Lucy to safety.
“I thought we were far enough away from the ocean that waves couldn’t sneak up on us like that,” Lucy protested, looking down at her sopping shoe. “What are we going to do?”
“We’d better go back.” Elliot took her hand. “Come on. We don’t want Dominic getting suspicious, anyway.”
“All right.” They started the journey back to the beach house, their shoes squelching slightly.
When they reached the house, Elliot opened the door carefully, kissed Lucy goodnight, and sent her upstairs.
When she woke the next morning, her boots had been neatly laid out on the radiator and were as dry as ever.
The next day was Thanksgiving. They feasted on Chinese takeout, shared what they were thankful for, and took a few more walks.
The next few days passed with more of the same.
They took a trip to see a local cranberry festival, took lots more walks, watched movies, and hung out.
At night, Lucy and Elliot stole a few minutes together, but the rest of the time they were limited to glances and the occasional brush of their hands when no one was looking.
Dominic still seemed off throughout the trip. A few times, Lucy caught him staring out the window or looking at his phone instead of participating in the fun. On the last morning, Dominic pulled her aside.
“Would you like one last walk on the beach?” he asked.
“Sure.” Lucy glanced at Elliot, but Dominic shook his head.
“Let’s go with just the two of us.”
“All right.” Lucy’s heart began to race. Once again, she felt certain that her brother knew about her relationship with his best friend. This wasn’t going to be an easy conversation.
Dominic walked for almost a mile before he said anything.
Lucy was so worried that she almost blurted everything out before he could confront her.
She’d never kept secrets from her brother before, and this didn’t feel good at all.
Finally, Dominic sat on a large driftwood log and patted the space beside him.
“Is everything okay?” Lucy blurted. “I mean, I know?—”
“Lucy.” Dominic put a hand on her arm to stop her. “Lucy Goose. Just listen for a moment.”
“Okay.” Lucy nodded, her stomach clenching. “I can do that.” She sank onto the driftwood beside him.
“This is… hard to say. To you, especially. I never imagined we’d be in this situation, but…” Dominic sighed. Lucy was once again tempted to blurt out everything that had happened between her and Elliot, but she kept her mouth shut.
“I went to the doctor before break,” Dominic said. “It was supposed to be just a regular check-up, but it turns out that I’m sick.” His lips curved into an empty smile. “I have Mawer Syndrome.”
“What is that?” Lucy felt the world crumbling around her. She’d been worried that Dominic knew about her and Elliot, but this was clearly much worse. “I’ve never heard of it. Are you okay?”
“Lucy Goose…” Dominic put his arm around her. “It’s very rare. Apparently, it’s also very… efficient. Most people who have it live less than five years after diagnosis.”
Lucy’s heart dropped past her stomach, past her feet, past the sand, and deep into the core of the Earth. She couldn’t grasp what Dominic was saying, even as dread washed over her like an icy wave.
“What?”
“It’s not great, is it?” Dominic smiled. “But the important thing is that I have five more years, give or take. That’s a long time.”
“It isn’t long enough.” Lucy felt tears building behind her eyes, but with Dominic being so strong, she couldn’t let herself cry.
“It is.” Dominic hugged her. “I’ll make it enough. I don’t want to spend the next five years dying. I want to spend them living. I want to do everything I’ve always wanted to do — start a company. Travel. Be with you and our parents. Run a marathon.”
Lucy nodded, holding her tears back with all her strength. “Of course, Dom. Let’s do it. Let’s do all of it.”
“I knew you’d agree.” Dominic beamed at her. “Lucy Goose. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” The tears threatened again. “This isn’t your fault.”
“No, but I still wish things were different.” He hugged her again. “I don’t want to make you sad. I want to make the time I have left great.”
“Of course.” Lucy nodded, even as her heart ached and her stomach twisted and tears pressed at her eyes. “We’ll make it great.”
They sat for a long time, side by side, not talking.
Lucy watched the waves wash in, and as she did, she made up her mind.
With her brother only having a little time left, she couldn’t add to his burden with a relationship that wasn’t ever going to last. She’d end things with Elliot quietly and focus on her brother.
It was the only choice she could make — no matter how much it hurt.