Chapter 35 #2
My eyes flick over his shoulder. It doesn’t take Will long to notice my return, and once he does, he stops pretending altogether. He watches me intently, as if this is a live show he paid for. His eyes dare me to go further.
He doesn’t think I will.
“Uh, yeah. Sure,” Paul says, answering the question I forgot I asked. He doesn’t seem to know where to put his hand, but eventually it comes to rest on my thigh, featherlight.
I tuck a strand of hair back behind my ear. “You don’t have a girlfriend or anything, right?” I ask, just realizing I never made sure. “Or a boyfriend?”
He gives a breathy laugh. “No. And no.” Then it’s his turn to brush the hair from my eyes. “Should I be asking you the same thing?”
“I’m not seeing anyone exclusively.” I dangle my feet next to his legs. “Are you ready for the new semester? You’re a sophomore too, right?”
He nods. “Yeah. I’m glad to be back on campus. But ask me again in a week.”
I chuckle. “Right.”
His mouth comes forward without warning, pecking my lips. It’s nervous and gentle, and when he pulls away, his eyes search mine. “Was that okay?”
I can’t help smiling at him. Paul’s cute, even if totally unsure of himself. Who isn’t at this age, anyway? I certainly feel like I have no idea who I am.
“It’s great,” I say finally. “I just…” My conscience rears her ugly head. “I should tell you I’m not looking for anything serious. Is that okay? I’m just here to have fun.” I run my hand through his hair as I ask, my heart pounding.
This is too familiar with someone I’m not familiar with at all, but I need to do it. I need to take control of this situation, distract myself.
His eyes widen and fall to my lips. “It’s all right with me if it’s all right with you. You’re…very pretty, Opal.”
I lean forward gently, pressing my mouth to his. His full body responds, leaning into mine. His palm rests against my cheek, then my neck. He slides the other along my side, his kisses timid and shaky.
I put all I have into the kiss. I kiss Paul like I’m trying to prove something. Trying to win something. Like I need to burn the image of Will out of my mind for good.
I drag my fingers into his hair and tilt my head just enough that it must look hot from Will’s seat across the fire.
When I peek through my lashes, it’s Will I search for. My gaze catches his where he sits. The girl is kissing his neck now, his hand on her back.
But he’s not feeling her touch at all. I see it. I know it.
Entire cities and civilizations burn behind his eyes, hotter than the bonfire between us, and he doesn’t dare look away from me. He doesn’t even blink.
He’s not smiling anymore. The challenge has evaporated from the hard set of his jaw.
He looks furious. Possessive.
There’s a swooping pull deep inside of me. A storm rages behind that expression. It matches the one in my chest.
A single look from him does more than a touch from anyone else.
Paul tries to kiss me again, but I can’t bring myself to close my eyes. I’m barely in it now, still watching Will.
“Is everything all right?” Paul’s voice sounds like it’s in a tunnel. Like I’m underwater, and he’s shouting at me from above the surface. It’s funny, even with my head too far underwater to hear Paul clearly, I seem to be able to understand Will without him saying a word.
He’s in the depths with me, sinking into our shared darkness.
All it takes is a single look, and I know what he’s thinking. I feel the dark current of his wrath as if I’m caught in it. His gaze is like a palm brushing my skin.
I pull back and shake my head. “I’m so sorry. I should go.”
Paul’s smile is soft, and to his credit, he doesn’t seem to take offense. “Is he an ex of yours?”
He’s followed my gaze toward Will. I’m mortified. I wrinkle my nose in disgust. “Absolutely not.”
His eyes study mine. “I don’t mind being used to make him jealous. Not if it means I get to spend time with you.” His hand strokes my thigh cautiously. “If that’s what you want.”
“I don’t want to make him jealous. I want him to go away.”
“Paul, you playing?” A voice comes from behind him, interrupting us.
“Uhh…” He doesn’t answer but looks back at me. His expression is strange, almost guilty.
“Playing?” I ask.
A nervous laugh bubbles out of him. “Strangers in the Dark. Have you heard of it?”
I give a quick shake of my head.
“There’s a barn over there with four rooms inside.
Like stalls, but bigger. And closed off from each other.
Private.” He points to a building I can barely make out in the distance.
“So four people go inside and wait in the dark and another four people go in after them. It’s totally with consent, of course.
But you can do whatever you want within the time limit, without trying to prove anything or impress anyone.
It’s just a game, so…” He looks down with an embarrassed laugh.
“I guess it—well, it takes the pressure off, you know? I don’t have that much experience, and girls don’t turn me down there.
” He’s quick to add, “For kissing, I mean. I’ve never… I don’t…”
I put a hand on his. The idea lights a shadowy corner in my mind. “So it’s about being anonymous? That’s why you like it?”
He shrugs. “It makes it fun, I guess. You could…pretend it’s him. If you wanted to. It won’t bother me.”
I toss the idea around. If Jess were here, she’d be shoving me forward, urging me to play. To give in. Have fun.
He kisses me again, then pulls away, his breathing shaky. “It’s okay. We don’t have to.”
I chew my bottom lip.
I shouldn’t want to. It’s risky. I should stay right here. Or better yet, go back to my dorm and go to sleep.
But this year could be different for me. I could be braver. I could try new things. I could stop waiting for Banks to care and go after the fun I promised myself I’d have.
I take his hand. “When does it start?”
A smile spreads across his lips. “Wait here,” he says. “I’ll go see.”
He moves around the fire toward a group of guys guarding one of the coolers. My skin buzzes, warm from the fire and the alcohol and my adrenaline.
This is going to be good for me. It’s going to get me out of my comfort zone.
The hair on the back of my neck stands at attention without warning, interrupting my thoughts. Will is no longer in his seat across the fire. My skin prickles.
I feel him before I see him.
When I glance over my shoulder, he’s there. Just a few feet away. Watching.
As he catches my eyes, his head tilts. “You’re really going to play?”
“Play what?” I ask, buying time.
His eyes narrow, but he doesn’t answer.
I push further. “You know about the game?”
He takes another step until he’s close enough to touch, still standing to my side. “You’re going to hook up with a stranger.”
“I’ve been hooking up with a stranger all night.”
He glances away. Conflicted. This doesn’t look like pure jealousy anymore. There’s something else lurking behind his eyes. “This is different. It’s anonymous. You’ll have no idea who’s in that room with you. You could…” He hesitates. His voice goes tight. “You could get hurt.”
“I’m guessing you’ve played before.”
He doesn’t answer.
“More than once?”
His expression hardens.
“And look at that, you lived to tell the tale.” I hop down from the table. “I can take care of myself.”
There’s a long pause. He opens his mouth like he’s going to argue, then thinks better of it. His eyes flick over me and land on my wrist. “Nice bracelet.” He steps closer, narrowing the remaining distance until I can feel his breath against my neck.
I turn toward him fully, eyes locked on his. I don’t have to look down to know which one I’m wearing. I’ve hardly taken the diamond bracelet off since Banks gave it to me in the spring.
He traces a finger along the band, lingering a moment too long. A shiver runs through me. I jerk my wrist away.
His jaw tics. He doesn’t touch me again, but he doesn’t move back either.
“I’ll be sure to tell Banks you approve.”
A muscle twitches near his eye. “Banks. You’re still together? Because you don’t look taken tonight.”
“We’re not putting a label on it. Not that it’s your business.”
“A label,” he scoffs. The word is a curse on his lips. “You aren’t produce, Opal.” He stares at me for a long breath. “So that’s why you’re letting this guy touch you like that?” His voice drops lower, eyes focused on my mouth. “When he clearly doesn’t know how to handle you.”
“Do you need something, Will? Because last I checked, this was a party. And you looked plenty occupied. No need to keep an eye on me.”
He traces his tongue across his upper lip, expression heavy with words I don’t get to hear.
“You ready?” Paul’s back. “They’re about to start.” He holds out his hand, and I take it, letting him lead me through the woods. We follow a crowd of people in the direction of the barn, leaving Will behind.
“The game is Strangers in the Dark,” one of the guys waiting up ahead shouts, hands cupped around his mouth.
We come to a stop behind the enclosed barn, gathering in close so we can hear him.
“Four people will go in and wait, and four strangers will come and find them. Everyone else stays on this side so no one knows who chooses which room or who joins them. Once you’re in there, you have ten minutes to do whatever you want.
Then you’ll hear this horn.” A loud air horn blast wails from his phone.
Hands go up, covering ears.