Chapter Five
S ienna trudged through the door to her favourite shop, the sound of the bell dinging to signal her arrival not filling her with the usual sense of joy. Even though she had spent the last three days resolutely not thinking about Debs Brannigan, stepping foot through the door to Plant Queeries caused panic and dread to swirl through her because while she had become an expert at hiding from most people, Max Winslow was not one of them. Throw in the fact it had taken nearly a week for Sienna to make an appearance after her foolhardy decision to send Debs a gift, and Max would know something was going on.
“Be out in a sec!” Max’s familiar voice rang from somewhere, and in lieu of replying, Sienna just basked in the calm she felt within their space. She wandered around, fingers delicately trailing over the lush green leaves and colourful petals which sprouted from everywhere she looked. Max had once told her how they envisioned their shop, how they wanted it to feel as though you were walking through nature itself, surrounded by the peace and tranquillity it brought. She leaned forward, taking a deep inhale of a delicate bloom, the floral, sweet notes filling her senses.
“Well, look what the cat dragged in.”
Sienna rolled her eyes at Max’s teasing greeting before standing straight and turning.
“It’s not been that long.”
“No, but usually, the visits aren’t punctuated with mysterious deliveries to strange women.”
Sienna was about to bite back that Debs wasn’t strange, but then she realised that would be playing right into Max’s game. But really, Max was exactly the person she needed to speak to about this. Max was the only person she could speak to about this. If there was anything to actually speak about.
“Can you at least make me a coffee before you give me the third degree?”
Something within the playful glint in Max’s eyes softened, their face dropping slightly with the realisation that this wasn’t something to tease about.
“Sure. Come on,” they said, waving over their shoulder as they moved into the back room of the shop from where they had just appeared.
Sienna weaved her way through the plants and foliage, slipping behind the counter and finding Max already busy messing with the coffee machine. Sienna dropped into the well-worn and beaten-down single armchair, which took up a fair chunk of the small space, sighing as she did so. She’d woken this morning once again determined to not let herself get lost in thoughts of Debs, but now she was here, in the safety and security of her closest friend’s space, it was futile.
“So,” Max started, turning and leaning against the wooden counter, which was strewn with stems and flower shoots, sheets of paper scattered with orders and designs hanging around them on makeshift washing lines, “What’s going on? And don’t tell me nothing because you’ve got that look on your face.”
“What look?”
“The look of a woman who’s having a lesbian crisis.”
“There’s no such thing as a lesbian crisis.”
“Sure there is. It’s that period where our lesbian brain and our rational brain clash. We meet someone new we like, and immediately, the lesbian brain starts planning our future, moving in, naming our unborn children. Meanwhile, our rational brain is saying, ‘you don’t even know how this person takes their coffee.’ What if they’re a monster and they order a latte?”
“Oh, not the fucking latte thing again!” Sienna exclaimed.
“It’s. Not. Fucking. Coffee,” Max enunciated slowly. “I’m telling you, ever meet someone who drinks that warm milk shit and tells you it’s a coffee, run in the other direction faster than your little gay legs can carry you.”
“You’re fucking weird. Has anyone ever told you that?”
“Yes. All the time. I love it.” Max placed the freshly brewed cup of coffee down in front of Sienna. She knew before she tasted it it would be perfectly made, and just what she was craving; a dash of milk and a shot of caramel syrup. She usually just took sugar in her coffee, but Max knew when she needed the extra boost and that today was one of those days. “So what is it that’s got you all”—Max waved their hand around Sienna’s face—“whatever this is?”
“It’s really nothing. Or it should be.”
“But?” Max pushed, taking a sip of their own coffee and peering over the top of their mug.
“I met this woman.”
“The mysterious Debs Brannigan, by any chance?”
“You remembered her name?” Sienna practically screeched.
“Well, it’s not every day you order something online rather than come in or at least send a text. We’re far past that point. Not to mention, the order came in late at night and was to someone other than yourself.”
“That makes me sound really pathetic,” Sienna mumbled, wondering when she became so predictable in her monotony that her friend could extrapolate so much from one action.
“No. I mean, yes, you are my best customer, even though I keep offering you that friends and family discount you refuse every time. But you’re also my best friend, and I’d like to think I know you well enough to see it when something is on your mind. That’s how this thing works.”
“I know.” Sienna sighed. “And I only don’t take you up on that discount because otherwise you’d never make any money.”
“I said you were my best customer, not my only. That’s just fucking rude. So who is she?”
“Literally no one. As in, I met her once at the community centre opening. She’s the property developer that helped secure and renovate the building. She walked in on me having a crisis with a leaky dishwasher, picked up the phone, and arranged for a plumber to come and help just like that. And then I gave her a tour.”
“So you bought her a plant as a thank you. That makes sense.”
“Yeah, it does. If I had done it any other time of the day, and not at like midnight like you just said.” Sienna ran her finger around the rim of her mug, contemplating what Max’s opinion on this would actually be. So far, all they had done was run through the rational chain of events, but she knew, and she suspected that Max knew, that that wasn’t all it was.
“So why did you order her a plant at midnight?”
“Because I couldn’t stop thinking about her.”
“Couldn’t? Or can’t?”
“Have I told you I hate you?”
“Regularly. Now answer the question,” Max shot back.
“Fine. I can’t stop thinking about her. Which is ridiculous because I don’t even know her.”
“Lesbian brain,” Max mumbled before quickly carrying on after a sharp look from Sienna. “Okay, so why can’t you stop thinking about her?”
“I don’t know. She’s smart. I mean, she must be to own a company and be as successful as she is. But she was also really down-to-earth and easy to talk to. And funny. She made me laugh a lot while I was giving her the tour.”
“The tour?” Max said with a comical wiggle of their eyebrows.
“Of the centre, you dirty-minded weirdo.”
“Plus, she swooped in and saved the day. That’s got to be hot as hell.”
“Yeah, it was kind of. Because she did it in this way which was just sincere, you know. There was no ulterior motive, no condescension to it. Just, she wanted to help and could, so did.”
“And have you seen her since?”
“Yes. She came by the centre the next day to say thank you for the plant.”
“That’s kind of sweet.”
“It really was because she must be really busy, and her office is all the way across town.”
“So what’s the problem?” Max asked, leaning back and kicking their feet up in the spare chair between them.
“We were talking, and she mentioned her kids. And her ex-husband.”
“Okay,” Max nodded slowly as if they were digesting the information. “And?”
“And, so she’s clearly straight!”
“Why?”
“Because she’s a smart, successful, kind, thoughtful woman who has two children and an ex-husband. Of course she’s straight!”
Sienna watched as Max nodded, finally grateful that she didn’t have to say anymore. Talking about her feelings was difficult enough at the best of times. Max was right; she prided herself on being independent to the point of being stubborn. Admitting even something as small and inconsequential as liking someone was a huge ask for her. But Max recognised that, and they didn’t let her get away with it. They were the voice of reason and unwavering support she needed, the push when she was too scared, the cheerleader when she doubted herself. She was so lucky to have them by her side.
“Yeah, I still don’t see your problem.”
Sienna spluttered around the mouthful of coffee she had just taken, inhaling some through her nose as she desperately tried not to send it flying into Max’s face.
“Did you not hear when I gave you all the reasons just now?”
“What I heard was all evidence of this Debs having a life before you met her. And a lot of reasons for you telling yourself why she couldn’t be interested without solid proof.”
“The ex-husband!”
“So she was married to a guy! Bisexuality exists!”
“There’s no way this woman is bisexual.”
“Why? Because denying the possibility makes it easier for you to tell yourself she might not be interested?”
“That’s—”
“That’s exactly what it is.” Max sat forward, placing their mug on the table. “When are you going to see that you are worth something? That someone you have an interest in might actually like you back, rather than coming up with a reason or ten as to why they won’t.”
“I really hate you some days,” Sienna said, standing and taking a step towards the door. “I have to go to work.”
“I thought it was your day off?”
“It is, but I want to get a head start on the winter events programme in case I have to cut back my hours later in the year.”
“When do you find out if you’ve got a place?” Sienna could hear the excitement in Max’s voice and it softened her self-righteous anger a little. Max had been pushing her for years to look into starting up her studies and going to university again, but Sienna always found a reason why the time wasn’t right.
“A month or so. But I want to work out a plan so I can speak to Liz. She said that she’d be up for giving me flexible time for the lectures and that I could use my work at the centre towards my practical assessments if I could get permission from whomever I speak to.”
“Well, that’s great! But surely you won’t know what you can work until you get your timetable?”
“No, but if I can get things planned and in place now, it’ll mean I don’t have to worry about it if I start uni.”
“You mean when.” Max cocked an eyebrow, not letting Sienna get away with the non-committed dismissal of her chances.
“Yeah, sure.” Sienna really didn’t feel in the mood for one of Max’s lectures about why she should be more positive and assured in her plans. “So I’m just going to focus on that.”
“And not on the hot businesswoman?”
Sienna paused, turning to Max, who was grinning at her. She walked back towards them, leaning over and dropping a kiss on their forehead. “I love you, but you’re a pain in my arse. You know that, right?”
“I legit thought that was my role in life,” they threw back with a smirk. “Let me know when you’re next free for a gin and pizza night. I know the centre has kept you busy, and I’m really proud of you, but I kind of miss you.”
“I miss you too. But things should start settling down soon. I’ll text you, okay?”
“Sure.” Sienna walked back towards the door, stopping when Max called out to them again. “Hey, Sienna. Things happen when they’re meant to happen, okay. Don’t worry so much.”
Sienna gave Max a sad smile, knowing that they were trying to reassure her about everything with a single sentence. Max knew, more than anyone, just how difficult it was for Sienna to let life take the path it was meant to. If Sienna could control things, there would be no surprises and no disappointments. She had a plan, and Debs Brannigan was not part of it. No matter how much Max tried to get her to let it play out. The best thing she could do was focus on what she needed and never let Debs into her mind again.