Chapter Twenty-Three
“ W hat time are you at work tomorrow?” Debs muttered, pressing another kiss to Sienna’s heated neck.
Sienna sighed under the attention, her head reflexively tilting to grant Debs more skin for her to lavish attention on. How she had worked out just where and how to touch her to make her melt in such a short space of time baffled Sienna, but she wasn’t going to complain when her whole self thrummed with every caress.
“Nine,” she replied, just barely registering the question through her arousal-clouded brain.
“Stay?”
“Why?”
Debs snorted, nuzzling her nose further under Sienna’s jaw. “If you have to ask, then I’m not doing a very good job.”
Sienna shoved at Debs’ shoulder, giggling silently. “Your brain is fogged with sex hormones.”
“My brain is fogged with you,” Debs mumbled, and something about the casual way in which Debs had said it as if she really didn’t understand the implication of her words, made Sienna tense. It was always like this, those first heady days of a relationship or whatever this was. Being so completely wrapped up in each other, learning about each other, what made the other person smile or laugh. But then the real stuff would come—the traumas, the truths—and Sienna would secure her walls and back away.
Debs pulled back and once again Sienna cursed the fact that the woman could seem to read her so well.
“What is it?”
Sienna groaned, missing the comforting weight of Debs’ body against her own. Despite the humid weather, Sienna longed for the press of Debs’ against her.
“Nothing.”
“I have mentioned before how good I am at reading people, have I not?” Debs said with a grin, and Sienna was grateful for the playful way in which Debs was approaching the conversation.
“Yes. It is frustrating as much as it is endearing.”
“Because I can read you?”
“Yes.” Sienna threaded her fingers through Debs’ hair, ruffled and messy from their make-out session. “I think we both know that I’m not great at admitting what I’m feeling.”
“I think that’s the most I’ve ever heard you admit that,” Debs said softly. “I hope that one day you’ll feel safe enough with me to tell me the whole story. Which reminds me,” Debs jumped up off the sofa, and Sienna grumbled at the loss of her. She quickly returned, holding out a gift bag to Sienna. “I have something for you.”
“You do?” Sienna smiled, the soft tone of Debs’ voice doing what it always did and soothing her.
“Yeah. It’s not much, and I didn’t really know when to give it to you, but now seems like it’s a good time.” Debs held out the bag, passing it over to Sienna.
“You didn’t have to get me anything,” Sienna answered, grinning. She leaned over, placing a kiss on Debs’ lips as her fingers wrapped around the handles of the bag. “But thank you.”
“I know I don’t have to get you anything, but I wanted to.” Sienna pulled the gift out of the bag, her forehead scrunching into a frown, and she found a simple black photo frame. She stared at it for a moment, confused when she found her university acceptance email staring back at her. “I don’t—”
“I know you’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed and uncertain about everything the last couple of weeks. And that’s okay; there’s lots of changes that are happening. But I wanted you to have something that reminded you of just how far you’ve come and how much you’ve achieved when those moments happen.”
“Debs…”
“Every time you feel like you can’t do it, I want you to look at this letter and remind yourself that you did this without anyone’s help. You. No one else.” Debs shuffled closer, wrapping her palms around Sienna’s cheeks and lifting her face to look at her. “I am so proud of you, Sienna. And whatever happens, I will always be here to cheer you on.”
The depth of faith that Debs had in Sienna made her gut churn, anxious uncertainty rising up within her, but the gentle brush of Debs’ thumbs across her cheeks grounded her, and she wondered whether she had ever felt so cared for.
“I feel safe with you,” Sienna replied brusquely before sighing deeply. She didn’t mean to sound so defensive with Debs, but the sheer multitude of emotions this short conversation was drumming up was confusing. “I mean, I do. Feel safe with you —more than anyone else outside of Max. That’s not why I don’t want to tell you anything.”
“Because you don’t usually mix attraction with attachment?” Sienna looked away at her own words being played back to her. “Hey, it’s okay. I get it; you can’t afford to throw everything out there from the beginning, and I don’t expect you to. I just want you to know that if you ever did want to say, I’d be ready to listen.”
“You really are the one person who I think I could say things to and who wouldn’t judge me.”
“I would never judge you, Sienna.”
“Even if I asked to forget about this and just go back to kissing me senseless?”
Debs grinned, leaning back down into Sienna’s space.
“If that’s what you need right now…”
Sienna tugged on the hair that was wrapped around her fingers, closing the final distance between her and Debs. They should really talk about it, about the fear and uncertainty that had lodged itself in Sienna’s chest since her mother’s phone call yesterday. But this is what Sienna was good at. Ignoring the obvious and losing herself in the now. It was a dichotomy—she knew that. She was so closed off most of the time. When she was single, she told herself she was too damaged for a relationship, that her baggage was too much for people to handle. And then she found someone who liked her, and she lost herself in those first exciting moments of exploring something new. It gave her a rush, enough to forget the inevitable fallout that would come. But this time something was different. She couldn’t ignore the fallout, those dark clouds that loomed over. She also found herself edging closer to opening up to Debs. She was unsure but was fairly certain the two anomalies were connected. And maybe it was selfish, but she couldn’t dissect that right now. Not when the sense of calm that came with everything Debs was was so strong.
Was it so bad that Sienna craved that? That she ached for the sense of completeness she felt whenever it was just her and Debs?
When Debs’ lips trailed once again to that spot behind her ear which made her shiver, Sienna really couldn’t think about it much more. The photo frame, the gesture which meant more than anything she had experienced before, dropped with a quiet thud to the carpet as Sienna’s hands came to wrap around Debs’ shoulders.
“Fuck, you should not be that good already,” Sienna gasped on an inhale.
“Because you’re the first woman I’ve been with?” Debs questioned, and Sienna felt herself flush with embarrassment at being called out. “In my opinion, people put too much emphasis on gender when it comes to sex. I know what I like, and I probably know what women like more than a good chunk of men out there, and either way, it’s about exploration. It’s trial and error and just letting yourself enjoy the moment rather than getting bogged down in everyone else’s ideas about what is right and wrong.”
Sienna probably should agree. She did agree; she thought that everything Debs was saying was true, and she wished she was as articulate as Debs was when it came to arguing for her right to love whoever she wanted to love. But it was difficult to articulate anything when she could feel Debs’ fingers teasing the skin of her hips underneath her vest. When she could feel the rapid rise and fall of Debs’ chest against her own, clearly as affected as she was by the flirty touches and heated stares.
“Debs…”
“Yes, baby?” And honestly, Sienna wasn’t sure what she meant. Was it a question, a plea, a prayer? All she could think about was the teasing brushes of those fingertips and how she craved them somewhere else.
“Fuck. You’re driving me crazy.”
“How?”
Of course Debs would make her say it. She made her express everything else so explicitly, so why would this be any different?
“I’m so wet for you.”
If Debs wanted explicit, then Sienna would deliver. Sex was something Sienna could do. Usually, it came without emotional connection. It wasn’t that Sienna slept around; it was just that sex was usually the start of her relationships. There hadn’t been many because the moment emotions became involved, the moment Sienna or the other person began to feel something more, Sienna would run. She wasn’t cruel, she didn’t ghost them, but she did start to reinforce those walls around her heart, breaking things off. It was cowardly, she knew. And it wasn’t something she was proud of. Max had told her on more than one occasion that if she just let herself see where something went, she could find something worth it.
Maybe this time, it could be different.
The hitch of breath from the other woman let Sienna know her comment had the desired effect.
“Please, let me touch you,” Debs whispered.
The desperation in Debs’ whispered plea rushed through Sienna, another wave of arousal pulsing through her. She’d never had this before, this visceral reaction to someone, and it only further added weight to the idea that this could be something more.
But Sienna couldn’t think of that right now.
“Please.”
Warm fingers traced around her waistband, and Sienna closed her eyes, focussing only on the path of heat which they left in their wake. They dipped down, deftly unbuttoning her shorts and sliding lower until they traced over the top of her underwear. Debs moaned, the sound directly reverberating in Sienna’s ear as her fingertips found the evidence of just how turned on Sienna was.
“You weren’t joking…tell me what you like.”
Sienna snorted. “You can’t tell already?”
“Well, clearly, I’m doing something right. But I want to know. Tell me what you love.”
“I…” Sienna’s thoughts wandered as Debs’ fingers brushed over her once again, this time as the touch disappeared, her grip instead tightening around the waistband of her shorts before they were shimmied down her legs. “I love riding something.”
“Hmm, I remember.” Sienna’s memory flooded with the reminder of how she had come the first time, straddling Debs’ lap, her fingers deep within her.
“What about you? What do you like?” She managed to gasp out before being swept away by everything Debs was doing.
“My experience is limited compared to yours, I suspect,” Debs murmured as she pushed Sienna’s shirt up, peppering the sweaty skin there with kisses.
“Not necessarily.” Sienna sighed as Debs sucked at the flesh on the side of her breast, yanking down the lace of her bra and enveloping her nipple with her hot mouth. “I love your mouth.”
“Yeah? Would you…” Debs faltered for a second before pressing another kiss to the top of Sienna’s breast.
“Would I what?” The lack of answer that came was uncharacteristic for Debs, a woman who could use her words in so many situations to get what she wanted. Sienna ran her fingers through Debs’ hair, tugging it gently to get her to look up at her. “What is it?”
“It’s just… Fingers I can do. I can do them myself and know what feels good. But oral is something I cannot try on my own.”
Sienna snorted, shaking with laughter. “I’d be impressed if you could.” She brushed back the sticky strands of hair from Debs’ beautiful face. “But you’d like to, right?” asking only to confirm what she thought Debs’ was saying, not in any way pressuring her into something she didn’t want.
“Yes.” Debs groaned, twisting her head to press a kiss into Sienna’s palm, trailing them down her wrist. “You taste so sweet…I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what you taste like in other places.”
“But you’re nervous?”
Debs buried her face in the crook of Sienna’s shoulder. “A little. That’s ridiculous, right?”
Sienna pushed herself up, forcing Debs to sit up as well, dislodging her from her hiding place in her neck. Swinging her legs around, she reversed their positions, leaning in to capture Debs’ lips in a searing kiss.
“It’s not ridiculous,” she said, sitting back on her knees, her hands smoothing up the soft skin of her thighs, bunching the material of her thin summer dress further up. Her eyes raked over her, the flush across her chest, the low dip of the neckline that had been teasing her all afternoon. The thumb trailed the edge of her lace underwear across the crease of her hip as she bit her lip at the tease of wetness that was there. “But I can show you if that’s something you like?”
Debs’ hips jolted, answering for her before she could form any words.
“Sienna…”
“Should I take that as a yes?” She pressed a kiss to the flesh of her thigh, Debs’ scent intoxicating her. Debs’ fingers grasped against her scalp, closing the gap even further as she canted her hips up once again.
“Yes.”
“I love how unashamed you are about what you want,” Sienna whispered, ghosting her mouth further up Debs’ leg, nipping the sensitive skin there.
She curled her fingers around the delicate lace of her underwear, pulling them off, her gaze never once leaving Debs’ face, the way her head was tipped back, eyes closed, and mouth hung open, body taut with anticipation. She nuzzled against Debs’ skin again, inhaling the scent of her arousal before running her tongue along the length of Debs.
“Shit!” Debs exclaimed, rising up to chase Sienna’s mouth.
“Mmm, you taste amazing.” Sienna swirled the tip of her tongue around Debs’ clit, earning herself a sharp tug of her hair before running up the length of her again.
“Fuck, that feels incredible, baby,” Debs gasped, and Sienna smirked before diving in again, determined to make Debs come, render her speechless, her body spent and shivering with pleasure. She could spend all day doing this, every waking moment just getting herself lost in everything Debs was. It wasn’t even just the sex, although Sienna didn’t think she’d ever experienced anything as life-altering as making Debs Brannigan come undone. Debs had somehow managed to seep into every corner of her mind, every fibre of her being.
But Sienna couldn’t afford to let herself contemplate that right now. Not when Debs was rocking her hips, chasing her pleasure as she rode herself to orgasm on Sienna’s tongue. Sienna’s fingers gripped tighter against Debs’ hips, holding her in place as she felt her flutter against her tongue. She could tell she was close. Just from that one night they had shared together, she already knew when Debs was close to falling apart, the tell-tale shake in her thighs, the way she held her breath, and in a final push, she sucked her clit into her mouth.
Debs screamed into the room, her body trembling with the force of her orgasm, and Sienna released her, gently lapping with her tongue to bring her down. When the iron grip on her hair released, she pressed a kiss to one thigh, then the other, before soothing Debs with gentle caresses as she made her way back up her body, only to be brought into an all-consuming kiss, which she lost herself in.
I’m losing myself in her , Sienna thought.