16. Calvin
CALVIN
It’s been five days since I’ve seen Sienna for more than a few seconds, as she’s either left for work or shuffled back in late and exhausted.
They opened the salon on Sunday to try to catch up with the appointments they had to reschedule due to the sickness that ripped through the team. Well, all apart from Bea. Somehow, while everyone was dropping, she stayed strong and worked through the whole thing.
But tonight, rumor has it that they’re shutting down at the usual time. Rett’s planned a romantic date with his girl, and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t sparking ideas of my own.
Calvin: I hear you’re not working late tonight.
I stare at my screen as my message is delivered, but the ticks never change color. I know she’s busy, but a little disappointment still trickles through me.
“You coming out with us tonight?” Sutherland, our third-line winger, asks from farther down the table. “Lovvy, Reeves, and Whit are coming.”
Previously, I’d have been all over it. But tonight, there’s potentially another option, and going out drinking with the guys isn’t sitting at the top of my list. Although it’s been the same way since my injury.
My cell buzzes in my hand, and my heart skips a beat when I see her name staring back at me.
Sienna: Closing the doors at five thirty. Won’t be an early night though.
Calvin: You need a night off.
Sienna: You’re telling me, but this place is a disaster. It needs sorting out.
Calvin: The others staying too?
I wait with bated breath for her response, ideas already spinning through my head.
Sienna: No, they’ve all got plans.
I’m unable to stop the smile that curls at my lips, and as I start tapping out my response, I can’t ignore the stare burning into the top of my head from the other side of the table.
Glancing up, my eyes collide with Rett’s all-knowing ones.
“What?” I bark.
“Who ya messaging?” he asks, turning a few more heads in my direction.
“None of your fucking business.”
Rett’s eyes narrow. He hasn’t said much about whatever Sienna could have said to Bea the other night, but something tells me he knows something, and the nosey motherfucker wants more.
“What are you doing tonight, Killer?” he asks, sitting back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest like a smug asshole.
I lower my cell, ensuring I shut the screen down so no one gets a glimpse of her name.
“Dunno. Probably just hanging out at home.”
Rett’s eyes flash with mischief. “Your home?”
“Yes,” I snap. “I’ve got some shit to do.”
“What kind of shit?”
My eyes narrow in warning. “Gotta finish knitting the baby blanket I’m making for your kid,” I deadpan.
I push to stand as the others laugh around us.
“Hey, I’m gonna hold you to that,” Rett calls after me as I storm off. “My kid wants a Killer-knitted blanket.”
“I can’t fucking knit, asshole,” I seethe before abandoning my tray and empty plate and storming out of the restaurant.
It’s not until I’ve turned the corner and taken a breath that I realize I probably overreacted.
“Fuck. Fuck,” I hiss, sinking my fingers into my hair and pulling until it hurts.
I’m irritated. Not that that’s anything new these days. But my rehab progress seems to have stalled. And as far as I’m concerned, if I’m not moving forward, then I may as well be going backward.
Footsteps heading in my direction force me to look up, and when I do, I find Coach marching toward me, his brows pulled tight.
“Everything okay?” he asks once he’s close enough for me to hear.
“Yeah, great.” The lie drips from each word, and his frown only deepens.
“Come on,” he says in that commanding tone of his before he turns his back on me and begins marching down the hallway, expecting me to follow. Which, of course, I do, because this is Coach. He asks you to jump and you fucking do, as high and as far as you fucking can.
He takes a right and walks into one of the meeting rooms up here. I follow soon after and awkwardly drop into one of the chairs while Coach rests his ass against the edge of the desk.
He stares at me, waiting patiently for me to start talking. But I don’t even know where to start.
“I’m just frustrated,” I try to explain.
Coach nods, but he doesn’t take it easy on me and take over.
“I know progress is going to be slow, but knowing it and experiencing it are two very different things. I just want to be back out there. I fucking hate all of this. I just want to do my job, Coach.”
“You are, Calvin.” Hearing him say my real name makes my chest compress.
Coach has no idea, but he’s the closest thing I’ve had to a father for quite a few years.
I respect the fuck out of him, and always take on any advice he’s willing to dish out.
He’s lived this life; he’s had all the highs and lows that come with being a professional hockey player.
He’s also proof that it doesn’t need to be over once you hang up your jersey.
He’s an incredible coach. He might push us to our limits on the daily, but we all appreciate the fuck out of him.
“Working through injuries and coming back stronger are a part of the job. There’s no arguing that it’s not the best part of the job, but it’s a part of it all the same.”
I take a few deep breaths, and my eyes drop to the floor between us.
“Do you…do you think they’ll keep me after this?”
Silence.
Panic races through my veins.
“Oh my god. I’m going to be traded. They’re going to send me to the East Coast, , or—
“You know I can’t make those kinds of promises.
Decisions like that are out of my hands just as much as they are yours.
Do I think they should trade you? No, I don’t.
You’re an asset to this team. Have been since your very first day.
But we watch trades all the fucking time that make no sense to anyone but those involved in making the decisions.
“All you can do is focus on your recovery and prove to everyone that you deserve your spot here once you’re back on the ice.”
I blow out a long breath. I knew that was what he was going to say; I’d just hoped I’d feel better having heard it.
I don’t.
“Monroe…he’s—”
“He’s doing an incredible job in your place. But you don’t need me to tell you that this is a team game. We need all our defensive pairs to be outstanding if we’re going to go all the way again. First line, second, third—every position on this team is one to be proud of.
“Will things look the same when you get back on the ice next season? No, of course not. Things change too quickly for that kind of constant, but change isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes it’s exactly what we need. A different partner, a new lineup, a fresh team.
“Try to keep an open mind and embrace everything as it hits you. And you never know, all your fears might just be for nothing.
“All of us, including me, could be on the move before we’re ready. We just have to make the most of our time while we have it.
“It won’t be long, and you’ll be traveling with us again and getting revved up to jump back out there.”
Here’s hoping.
“Any plans for when we’re away?”
I shake my head, although I can’t deny that the image of one woman fills my head. With the team gone on a road series, there’s only one person in this city I want to spend time with.
“I know it’s hard because our lives are one hundred percent hockey during the season, but try and find something to fill your time. I was lucky; when I was out, I always had Casey to keep me entertained. But I can imagine life can get tedious with only rehab and missed games to focus on.”
“You have no idea.”
“It’s gonna be a tough season, but we’ll all get through it. I have no doubt,” he says before wrapping his hand around my shoulder and squeezing gently.
“Thanks, Coach.”
He walks off, leaving me with his words floating around me. It takes a minute or two to remember that I never replied to Sienna.
I tap out a reply as I head back downstairs for my afternoon session with Darcy.
“Hey, man,” I say when Rett stalks into the dressing room a few hours later, sweat dripping from his hair, his cheeks red from exertion.
Jealousy rushes through me like a tsunami, but I squash it down. It’s not his, or any of the other guys’ fault that I’m unable to join them out there right now.
“Sorry about earlier.”
He waves me off. “Forget it. I have.”
“Rehab fucking sucks,” I mutter as he begins stripping out of his equipment.
“It’ll be over before you know it. Especially with all that knitting you’ve gotta do.”
“I’ve never picked up a set of knitting needles in my life,” I say with a laugh.
“Nah, me either. Wouldn’t know where to fucking start. So, you gonna see Sienna tonight or what?” he asks, no longer beating around the bush.
I rub at the back of my neck.
“I…uh…”
“She’s good people. You could do a lot worse.”
“Yeah, I know,” I admit. “It’s just…she isn’t interested in…well, in anything to do with me.”
He looks at me with raised eyebrows.
“Is that why she let you in for movie nights when she was sick?”
“I brought food,” I reason.
“Let me let you in on a little secret,” he says, leaning closer.
His stench makes my nose wrinkle, but I ignore it and let him continue.
“Puck bunnies will do anything to get close. Women like Bea and Sienna are different. If they don’t want you close, you won’t be close.
They won’t blink at slamming the door in your face, or turning their back on you.
But equally, they won’t tell you what they do want.
You gotta read them, figure it out in other ways.
Sienna letting you hang out last week, when she was at her lowest…
that is definitely something you should be reading into. ”
“So she does want to hang out with me?” I ask, aware of just how pathetic I sound.
I have never in my life gone after a girl.
After the only one I’ve ever genuinely wanted walked out of my life with only an address that eventually got lost, I’ve never gone after another. None of them compared to her. Didn’t come anywhere close.
Rett laughs and jumps to his feet.
“I’d say so, yeah. You know, considering you’ve got sisters, you don’t really know women.”
“Oh, and you do?”
“Hell yeah. Have you seen my fiancée? Fucking banging.”
A laugh tumbles free as I remember what he was like when he discovered that a woman he hooked up with in a club was walking around growing his kid.
Motherfucker had no idea what he was doing.
Thank fuck Linc and Cole had a little foresight into the female species by then, or he probably would have utterly fucked it all up.
“I’m gonna ask you again,” he says before he disappears into the showers. “Are you seeing Sienna tonight?”