Chapter 2
Logan
Too much was changing too quickly. I didn’t fault Andy for finding Kenzie and falling in love.
Trina needed a mother, and Kenzie was a great mother to her.
And watching Andy and Kenzie together, well, it almost made me believe in true love and happily-ever-afters.
Well, for Andy anyway. I knew that shit wasn’t for me.
The thought of being with only one woman for the rest of my life was inconceivable.
I just wished they hadn’t had to move from the apartment.
Four years. Four years of seeing Trina every day and then nothing.
Sure, Andy and Kenzie both had told me I was welcome anytime, and they encouraged me to come see Trina, even specifically invited me over several days a week for dinner, a beer, whatever.
But it just wasn’t the same. And now that Kenzie was showing, so far along in her pregnancy, man, the fact that they were a family that I was not a part of just couldn’t be ignored.
Andy and Trina, Ashley and me, we had been a family.
For four years. I missed my family. I know it has only been five months since they moved, but it feels like it has been forever.
I entered the office, summoned by Andy. He was probably planning to take more time off and wanted to be sure I would cover everything.
I didn’t fault him for that either. For four years, he killed himself, taking off practically no time at all unless Trina was sick.
He deserved it. His new family deserved it.
“Hey man,” I greeted as I entered. Kenzie was there too. I hadn’t expected that. She normally wasn’t in this early. “Hi Kenz.”
They both smiled and greeted me. They exchanged looks that put me on edge. “Logan, close the door for a sec, will you?” Andy said.
This couldn’t be good. The gym was half empty, no reason to worry about who would hear our conversation. I closed the door as requested and leaned against it. “What’s up?”
“Logan,” Kenzie began. “I have to apologize to you. I’m assuming it’s me because I’m the only thing that has changed in the equation.”
“I don’t understand,” I said.
“I’m really pissed at you, man,” Andy chimed in. I was shocked to hear him say that to me. In all the years we’d known each other, Andy had never told me he was pissed at me, and there were plenty of times he would have had the right.
“Trina misses you, Logan,” Kenzie said. “You’ve declined dinner twice this week, and she doesn’t understand why her Uncle Logan hasn’t been around. She was used to seeing you every day before we moved, and this is a hard adjustment for her.”
“Awe, Kenz,” I said, running my hand through my hair. “I love Trina; you guys know that. Things are different now. You guys are a family. You don’t need me hanging around.”
“So, you’ve just been trying to give us space?” Andy asked.
I shrugged.
“Well, we don’t want our space. Trina needs you in her life now, just as much as she did before.”
My heart squeezed in my chest, and I felt, well, I felt like a heel that I hadn’t been around to see her. “I just haven’t wanted to intrude.”
“If I made you feel that way at all, I am sorry, Logan,” Kenzie said. She rose from her seat and came over to me, hugging me. I felt her enlarged stomach press against me.
“Thanks, Kenz, and no, you haven’t. You’re her mom now, and I just wanted to give time for you both to settle into your new lives.”
“We’re settled, thank you. Now come more often, will you?”
“As a matter of fact, I think it would do Trina good to come see you at your place too,” Andy said. “She’s used to going out our door to your place like she owned it all.” Andy laughed. “Uncle Logan’s place was always more fun than home!”
I laughed as well. “I’ve missed her a lot.”
“So, dinner tonight? And then maybe you could take her back to your apartment for a few hours?” Kenzie asked with a smile.
“I’ll come get her before bedtime,” Andy added. “I have a couple of clients due after dinner.”
“And this mom could really use a few hours alone,” Kenzie added with a smile.
It was great to see her smile like that and crave time alone.
It wasn’t that long ago that a break-in and an attack at her house had left her afraid to be alone.
She was a mess for a few weeks after. I didn’t think I’d ever see her so content to be alone again.
Thank God Andy had called in a trauma counselor right away for her.
“You got it, little momma,” I said. “What’s for dinner?”
Gia
Talk about timing! What did I find stuck in my mail slot, today of all days?
The renewal of our apartment lease. Last night had clinched it for me.
I was ending my relationship with Gary. It wasn’t just about the sex; there were so many other areas of incompatibility.
Gary was all about his career and achieving success, no matter how many hours a week that took.
I couldn’t fault him for that, but I was more about balance.
I loved my job as a yoga instructor for so many reasons.
I promoted health and well-being, getting in exercise myself while I worked.
I couldn’t imagine sitting behind a desk all day.
I had many classes scattered throughout the day, with breaks in between to run errands or do chores.
I knew I’d never get rich as a yoga instructor, but that didn’t matter to me. I had everything I wanted or needed.
The other big difference between Gary and me was that I did want to get married and have kids someday; two things that Gary had decided a few years ago were not in his plans. Again, I did not fault him for it; I just wish he had figured that out sooner than four years into our relationship.
I dropped the lease contract down on the kitchen table without looking at it and went into the kitchen to figure dinner out.
Tonight was my night to cook, my early night with no evening class to teach.
I hadn’t heard from Gary, so I had no idea what time he’d be home.
His evenings were getting later and later.
I knew the proposal he had been working on was important, and I had many late evenings too, so I never complained, but tonight I wanted to have this talk with him early, before he was too tired.
Gary burst into the apartment when dinner was nearly done. “I got it; I nailed the account!” Gary was exuberant.
“That’s great, Gary!” I was happy for him. He had worked long and hard hours, and it mattered to him.
“I was offered a promotion to manage the account. But it’s in Chicago,” he said. “I told them I’d let them know tomorrow.”
“I think you need to take it,” I said with no hesitation.
He smiled wide. “You’d be willing to move to Chicago?”
“No, Gary, I won’t be going with you. You need to go, though,”
“What are you saying, Gia?” He was just starting to get it. He sat and pulled me onto the couch beside him.
“Gary, look, I think we both know this has been coming.”
“No,” he said, getting up and moving away from me. He paced, running his hand through his hair. “Gia, if this is about that bullshit last night, I was stressed and tired.”
“Gary, this isn’t about last night. This is about us in general. We just don’t work anymore. We’ve grown into different people. No one is at fault. It’s just what it is.” I suddenly felt very sad.
“Gia, I still love you. Come with me to Chicago; it will be a fresh start for us.”
I shook my head. “Gary, I want to get married and have kids. You don’t. That’s a huge difference.” I hadn’t brought that subject up in a long time. He probably assumed it was no longer important to me. It was.
“Gia, we can talk about this; we can work this out. Come on, this is what I’ve been working so hard for. Come with me; we can work it out, find a compromise so we’re both happy.”
“Gary, I’m happy for you. I am. I love you, and I always will, but that doesn’t mean we should stay together. I shouldn’t have to compromise on something as important as children.”
“Okay, one kid. We’ll have one kid,”
There was a time when I would have taken that and been ecstatic that he agreed.
Thankfully, I was past that time. “That isn’t what you want.
We both know it. There is no compromising on something like that.
Your heart isn’t in it. It wouldn’t be fair to a child, to you, or to me, and it would end us, but with a whole lot more baggage.
And we both know the hard work you have put in to get this promotion is only the beginning.
You’re going to have to work even harder to grow your accounts and perform.
You’ll be under a microscope for at least the first three months. ”
“Six, actually. My probationary period is six months.” He took me in his arms and sighed loudly.
He ran his hands through my long red hair.
He had accepted it. I could tell. “I’m not saying either of us should wait for the other, but let’s do a three or a six-month separation and see where we each stand after that?
I’m not ready to say this is over yet, Gia. ”
I reluctantly agreed. I knew it was over, but I’d give him some time to arrive at the same conclusion.
He wanted me to keep the apartment, and he said he would pay half the rent for the next year.
I declined. I couldn’t afford the rent on my own, and I didn’t want him to have any obligation.
I was sure that once he was settled in Chicago, he’d realize this was for the best. I knew I could afford a studio apartment and needed nothing more.
He insisted I keep all the furniture and housewares because he wasn’t going to move any of it to Chicago.
He also insisted I keep the security deposit to put down on my next place.
He was getting a fat raise with the promotion and could afford to let me have it. I agreed to keep it.