Chapter Thirty-four
As Catherine slid her hands up over Lachlan’s broad shoulders and touched her lips tentatively to his, she realized he was the one and only person who made her feel like herself.
Her life had been turned upside down and she had lost her identity in every sense of the word, but whenever she was with him, she knew what she wanted and understood her feelings. Everything made sense.
It made even more sense now that she was kissing him—for the instant their mouths touched, his passions exploded. He swept her into his arms and returned the kiss with wild abandon. His hands roved over her body, and he groaned with urgent need.
“I need you, Catherine,” he said, his lips parted, his breath hot against her neck.
“I cannot bear to be away from you. I’ve been in hell since we made love, knowing I could not have you again, and regretting how I made such a mess of it.
I did not love you properly. You deserve so much more. I could give you everything.…”
“Make it up to me now,” she pleaded, cupping his face in her hands. “There’s no curse. We can have each other tonight. We can do whatever we want.”
His mouth covered hers again, fiercely and hungrily, as he carried her across the room to the bed.
He laid her down, then went to lock the door.
There was a firm click as the key turned, and then he was standing over her again—her beautiful Highlander—crawling onto the bed, and lowering his heavy body onto hers.
A breathless sigh escaped her. She was in heaven, holding him close, knowing that he still wanted her—and she wanted him with an unstoppable fury that overwhelmed her.
She needed to open herself to him, to let him inside without fear, to hold nothing back.
It was all she’d ever wanted, and now, at last, she would have it.
Wrapping her legs around his hips, she wiggled to lift her skirts while he fumbled with his kilt, pushing it out of the way.
Everything was a heart-pounding, blinding blur of movement and desperation.
She reached down and took hold of his manhood, guided him to her throbbing, greedy entrance.
He looked her steadily in the eye and was inside her a second later, pushing very deep, as far as he could go, stretching her wide until everything went quiet and still.
“I can’t get deep enough,” he whispered, burying his face in her neck. “I don’t want to ever lose you.”
She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him close. “I don’t want to lose you, either. Please, Lachlan, say that you care for me.”
His head drew back, and he slid out and pushed back in. “Of course I care for you, lass. I love you, but I cannot lose you.”
Again he thrust deeply and without restraint. She experienced a rush of scorching hot delight. Had he really spoken the words? Did he say he loved her?
He drove into her again and again, and she welcomed his invasion with a series of sighs and moans.
Their bodies moved in a smooth, even harmony.
He rose up on both arms so that he could look down at her face in the soft evening light.
Tirelessly and devotedly, they made love, later rolling over so that she was on top, controlling the tempo and intensity of the sensations.
Sometime during their coupling, she pulled his shirt off over his head and he unhooked her bodice at the back. Piece by piece, their clothing was tossed to the floor while the lovemaking never ceased.
Catherine rolled onto her back again, and he pushed inside with a meticulous skill that began a flood of tingling sensations from her toes up to her shoulders.
She clutched at his back and thrust her hips forward in a wild, shuddering release of passion, crying out at the last moment, while her body exploded with hot sparks of ecstasy.
He quickened his pace, grunting with exertion, for they had been making love fast and hard for quite some time. She could feel the heat of his pleasure, ready for release, poised for an orgasm of significant proportions. He leaned up on an elbow and looked down at her face.
“Come inside me,” she said. “I want you to. I don’t care if you put a child in my womb. I want you to.”
He shook his head. “No. I cannot. I won’t lose you.”
“But there is no curse.”
His body convulsed and he squeezed his eyes shut, shuddering feverishly and withdrawing at the last to ejaculate his seed onto her stomach.
She waited a moment for him to recover his senses; then he rolled to the side.
They both lay exhausted and spent, gazing up at the canopy in the near darkness.
Catherine struggled to gather her thoughts and regain her composure.
It had been an exquisite sexual experience.
He had made love to her, and he had told her, with tenderness, that he loved her.
She hadn’t imagined it was possible to feel so close to another person, and when he spoke those words her heart had ached with joy.
But at the last moment he had withdrawn and refused to take his pleasure inside her. She needed to understand why.
“Do you no longer wish to marry me?” she asked.
He turned his head on the pillow to gaze at her in the flickering light. “I care for you, lass. Do not think otherwise. That is why I cannot put a child in your womb. It’s not something I can take lightly.”
“But what if I want a child with you? What if I don’t want to ever live without you?”
He tossed an arm up over his face. “I’ve done that before. It did not end well. I told you I don’t want to lose you.”
“But what does that mean?” Her anger was aroused, and she sat up. “Are you saying that you don’t want children? Or now that you are not cursed by black magic, you don’t want to risk the possibility of cursing me the old-fashioned, natural way?”
“No, lass. It’s not that.” He sat up, too. “Just please understand that I cannot be cavalier about such a thing. I must be careful. I just learned, only yesterday, that you were not going to die. Let me enjoy you for a while. Let me believe that we can have some time.”
“But no one can live like that,” she replied, “always expecting the worst to occur. I told you before, there are no guarantees. You could die tomorrow from a knife wound in a tavern, and then where would we be?”
“It’s not that simple, Catherine.”
“Yes, it is.” She slid off the bed and pulled on her petticoats.
“If you truly love me, then offer me a real life. Propose to me again, and promise to give me babies. Lots of them. That’s what I want.
I want to build a family with the man I love—and you are that man, Lachlan.
There, I have said it. I have changed my mind.
I would marry you in a heartbeat if you were willing to live fearlessly with me.
But this…” She pulled on her skirt and gestured toward the bed. “This cannot be enough.”
She picked up her bodice and slipped it on and hurried to the door.
He leaped off the bed. “Catherine!”
“We will talk again tomorrow,” she said, holding him back with a hand, “after Raonaid and I come back from the stone circle. We are going there at sunrise, and everything may seem very different after I return. Thank you for this,” she added as she turned to unlock the door.
“It was lovely, and I do care for you, Lachlan. But I must get my life back. And you need to think about what you want from yours.”
It took every ounce of mettle she possessed to leave the chamber and shut the door behind her, when all she wanted to do was go back inside and lie with him all night.