Chapter 23
Twenty-Three
SIMON
I n the end, Feigrind agreed that I should take the opportunity Orthorr offered me. Part of it was because he didn’t want Maman to start hating him because he hovered too much. But it was also because after a little pestering on his part, I admitted that I liked the idea of doing a job I wouldn’t be judged for. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t ashamed of working in the brothel, but I liked the idea of earning my keep without getting on my knees. I only did that now for Feigrind.
And because I’d agreed to bond with Feigrind, he said I had to let go of my grudge against Finn. I couldn’t hate him for making it so I could be here because I got Feigrind and Maman out of it, and I wouldn’t take that back for anything. The brat in me wanted to keep it up just because he’d told me to stop, but I didn’t actually feel any animosity towards the man anymore. I understood now how he was swayed to stay. These barbarians with their magic dicks and their sweet talk were really hard to resist.
Of course, I didn’t think the clan would come after me about my hair.
“Absolutely not.”
“But—”
“No. I’m not shaving my hair. I don’t care if it’s the clan way or whatever. Come near my hair and I’ll cut you.”
And I definitely could. I still carried around the daggers Einar had given me. I was pretty sure Feigrind liked that I was always armed to protect myself. He was working to teach me hand-to-hand just in case, but it made us both feel better knowing no one could try anything stupid with me.
“No cutting people,” Patrick scolded. “We aren’t suggesting shaving as much as the barbarians. Just a tiny bit would mean a lot to Feigrind.”
I scoffed. Feigrind loved my hair as it was. A few days after the attack, he’d surprised me with all the products I missed— and now he couldn’t stop touching me. He liked my softness, including my hair. He also loved that I kept coloring it. Dyes didn’t last long in hair, but it wasn’t much effort to dye it every few days.
“He doesn’t have to,” Zoya said. She was still standoffish with me, but because I was being nicer to Finn, she put up with me. “None of the female tributes ever shave their hair. It’s not required that males do it. You two just did it to be cute.”
A frown pulled at my lips. I wasn’t a woman. I didn’t like being lumped in with them all because of a stupid haircut.
With a heavy, deeply unhappy sigh, I relented. “Fine. Only a tiny bit that can be easily hidden.”
“How about right here,” Finn suggested, circling a small section of hair by his temple and above his ear in demonstration.
I pursed my lips thoughtfully, then nodded. “I’ll accept that. But make it small enough that I can hide it if I want to.”
Zoya looked smug as she came toward me with the razor. She’d definitely manipulated me to get me to cave. I was going to sic Maman on her for it later.
“I feel like I shouldn’t trust you with that,” I carped, leaning away from her. She sighed, exasperated.
“I’m a healer. I don’t hurt people.”
“Maybe not, but I could see you shaving off more than necessary and making an excuse like you slipped.”
She made a face, but Patrick stepped in before she could pick a real fight with me.
“Let me. I help Verus with his hair, too.”
I trusted him more than I trusted Zoya, who still had a grudge against me because I’d made Finn cry. She purposely ignored just how easy it was to make Finn cry. He cried when he was happy too. And I apologized… sort of. I told him I understood why he made the choice anyway.
Patrick pushed to his feet, leaning a little on a cane. I’d asked him about it, and he said he only needed to use it on occasion when the pain flared up. He’d been on his feet a lot, prepping for the ceremony, so he needed a little help now.
His hands were warm when he grabbed my chin, gently tilting my head so he could see better. I had to squeeze my eyes shut before he started. I didn’t want to see him cut my beautiful hair.
The blade was slow and steady, cutting a small section near my temple under the longer layers on top. It took very little time, and when Finn handed me a mirror, I smiled to myself.
“How much do you want to bet he’s going to want to drag me off because of this?” I asked smugly. Feigrind wasn’t into men before he’d met me, but now he couldn’t get enough. I actually liked that he didn’t like any other males but me. I liked the special treatment.
Finn snickered, his cheeks pink any time I mentioned sex. He and Patrick were both sheltered and had never had sex before meeting their bondmates. I liked playing with Finn’s innocence by mentioning all the dirty things I was doing with Feigrind. I was pretty sure he integrated some of the stuff I mentioned into his own sex life. He also asked me questions he was too embarrassed to ask his friends or lover. I shared my knowledge because I’m a good person. Or because Feigrind liked me being nice to the clan and rewarded me with wild barbarian sex whenever he heard about my good behavior.
Probably more the second reason than the first.
“Alright, I think they’re ready,” Zoya said, peeking out of the receiving tent I’d been brought to when I first arrived here.
Taking a deep breath, I shook out my nerves. I never thought I’d be doing this. Sticking with the barbarians who’d kept me from my home. I didn’t think I’d ever be in a committed relationship, much less getting married—or the barbarian version of married, anyway.
I didn’t think anyone would claim a former prostitute, but Feigrind proved me wrong. He was always thanking me for choosing him, but he chose me too, and I was beyond happy about that.
Maybe I’d even thank Tomas one day. If he hadn’t been such a jealous shit, I never would’ve met Feigrind. Now, I was in a relationship with a gorgeous man who spoiled me, had the respect of his clan, and had such mind blowing sex, I still believed magic was somehow involved. Meanwhile, he was probably still fucking Quincy for the tiny bit of power he thought he’d get from it.
Yeah, I was definitely going to rub it in his face one day.
FEIGRIND
My fingers ran over the smooth surface of the necklace I’d made for Simon. Maman helped me make it with clay and coated it in something to make it hard as stone once it was fired. It was different than most bonding necklaces, but Simon was different. I wanted him to have something special.
“Are you ready for this?” Uttin asked quietly. He was standing in for Orthorr, who was still in too much pain to hold the ceremony himself. Zoya had him moved to a comfortable spot in the crowd, while Uttin, as the clan second, took his place.
“I am,” I murmured back. I had wanted a bondmate for a long time. I’d hated coming home after fighting to an empty tent. Now, knowing Simon would be there waiting for me, my heart felt full, and I was eager for the future. We would journey together, trading with other clans and towns, and see the world. When we were home, we would spend time with Maman and eventually, we would have children to care for too. That part surprised me when Simon first suggested it.
He’d mentioned once while we were cuddled together in the furs that there were many children like him in the town he lived in, who were sold off to brothels because their parents couldn’t afford to raise them. He admitted he wanted to adopt in the future and perhaps prevent those children from suffering the same fate. I mentioned it to a few others, and there was a plan to go to Simon’s old town eventually to see what could be done to begin this process. I wasn’t the only one who wished for children in the future.
“I still want to know what he did to change your mind about males,” Godr said from close by.
He was immediately cuffed by Rath, who was one of the few who didn’t tease me at first for choosing a male after a lifetime of only females. He’d also taught me things that I later used with Simon, and the sounds he made… I resisted the urge to shudder. I still wondered from time to time if he was faking to please me, but when I tried something new and he seemed so stunned with how much he enjoyed it, I began to accept that he truly enjoyed his time with me. Besides, it was Simon. He would tell me if he was unhappy. He never refrained from speaking his mind. I was always glad for it. I didn’t have to guess how he felt about something.
The murmurs of the crowd picked up, and the clan parted to make room as Simon stepped into the village center. He was not in white, as was customary during bonding, but his legwear was a shimmery blue, and the silk wrap around his waist was white. His chest was bare, like most of the clan, showing off his lithe figure, but he wore a fur on his shoulders to keep him warm. He was beautiful, and I could not drag my gaze away as he approached.
Stepping up onto the platform beside me, he flashed me his usual smirk. “Like what you see?”
I’d liked what I saw since the first day I met him. I just wasn’t willing to admit it then. Now, I couldn’t resist reaching for him, running my fingers along his jaw and tracing my thumb along his lip. He’d colored them again, and the dark pink drew my focus over and over as Uttin spoke about our love and commitment to each other and our clan. When I offered Simon his necklace, his smile was soft and warm, and when he looked up at me, those beautiful multicolored eyes shimmered with unshed tears. He still wasn’t used to being treated as something precious. He would accept it eventually. I never planned to stop spoiling him.
After the bonding was done and we were moved to our seats to be greeted by the clan as a couple, Simon ignored his chair in favor of sitting in my lap. I chuckled, wrapping my arms around him, and ignored Uttin’s exasperated sigh. It wasn’t how things were done, but I didn’t care. It was where Simon was happy, so it was where he would stay.
“Maman told me that only clan members made necklaces and shared them,” Simon said to me between greetings.
I nodded, nuzzling against his chin. “Yes. It is a way to bring the tribute into the clan and show they are bonded to one another.”
Simon tapped the necklace that rested against my chest. “Then why do you have this?”
I touched that necklace, a faint smile crossing my face. “It was my father’s. Typically, fathers give their sons a necklace when they become men and begin taking on duties for the clan. My father was gone before I came of age, so Maman saved it and gifted it to me instead. So that I can carry a piece of him with me wherever I go.”
He gave me a sympathetic smile and a kiss, then surprised me with a pout. “Now I feel bad for wanting you to wear the one I made you.”
My brows drew together as I frowned at him. “What do you speak of?”
He lifted one slender shoulder. “When Maman said men give necklaces to tributes, I thought it was cute. I wanted to make you one too. But I don’t want you taking that one off. That’d make me a jerk. So nevermind. I’ll?—”
“I want it,” I interrupted. “Who’s to say I can’t wear both?”
He faltered a little, then made a face. “I didn’t think of that. Fine. But you can’t judge me for the craftsmanship. It was my first try.”
He pulled a wrapped cloth from his pocket, offering it to me. Carefully, I opened it, and a smile stretched across my face when I saw what lay inside. It was similar to the one I’d made him, formed from clay and tied with a bit of leather. But where mine was more plain, Simon had painted the one he made me to make it look like a flower.
“What is it?” I asked, running my fingers over the painted petals.
“It’s the flower scent in my soap. So that you’d think of me no matter what. I’m selfish about your attention, you know. I always want you thinking about me.”
He said it in a huff, but it drew a smile from my lips. I liked him selfish. Because he selfishly wanted me, and after so many choosing another, I wanted nothing more than to be wanted by him.
“To me, raknar, you will always be everything.”
He gave me a soft smile, leaning his forehead against mine. “And I’ll always choose you. No matter what.”