See, Hear, Speak No Evil, Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice Vagaries)

Chapter 1

Darcy and His Sister Arrive at the Netherfield Park Manor

“Welcome, Miss Darcy, Miss Annesley, and you, Darcy,” Mr. Charles Bingley said with his natural enthusiasm, one that often made others smile.

“It is good of you to invite us. Do you still find the area to your liking?” Darcy stepped forward to shake his friend’s hand.

“Remarkably so. Miss Darcy, you are even more welcome than your brother.”

“Mr. Bingley, I thank you for including me in the invitation.”

“You are quite mistaken. I invited you. Your brother’s presence is the price. Having not seen you in an age, I was certain he was hiding you in the attic and feeding you but scraps. Seeing for myself that you are well, I shall allow him within.”

“If my brother ever locks me in the attic, for you are ever claiming he might, I promise to put a blue ribbon in the window so you will know I need to be rescued,” Georgiana said in the same lightness of spirit as she had engaged in banter with Mr. Bingley these last six years.

“And a red one if there are ghosts, so I know to send someone in my stead? Quite afraid of spirits, I am.” Bingley extended his arm to her.

“But here at Netherfield, never fear. You shall have far more than the scraps he demands you be allowed. Even if we serve fish, my cook will prepare something else for you. There is to be gooseberry pie for dessert once a week, as that is your favorite. And of course, you will have your morning chocolate to start your day.”

“You do not like fish?” Darcy asked, walking into the house behind them.

“You never noticed how she tucks it under something else every time it is served?” Bingley was affronted on Georgiana’s behalf.

“So rare is he at home to dine in the evenings, I make certain we have dishes my brother prefers. I do thank you, Mr. Bingley, for your consideration. I look forward to discovering how your cook prepares chocolate. My aunt’s cook adds orange. At Darcy House, Cook adds vanilla.”

“I have no idea. I shall also try it tomorrow. You know that when you come out, you must call me ‘Charles.’ I intend to stand guard alongside Darcy and scowl at all the young men.”

“Do you know how to scowl, Mr. Bingley?”

“I have an excellent teacher in your brother. And here we are. Mrs. Nicholls will show you to your rooms.”

“I hope you think dear Georgiana in terms above that of a sister,” said Miss Bingley, and came forward to greet them.

Her fawning mannerisms as she presumed to claim his arm caused Darcy’s jaw to clench. Miss Bingley’s affected smile was as wide as Darcy’s frown was deep. Her persistence in forwarding a match between Bingley and Georgiana, his sister, a full decade junior to her brother, rankled him.

“I could think of her in no dearer terms. The gentleman she marries will require Darcy’s approval. Worse, he requires the good colonel’s approval. Can any man be so worthy? I suppose, for protection, it is off to the attics with you, after all, Miss Darcy.” Bingley waved toward the grand staircase.

When Georgiana’s uninhibited laugh filled the hall, Darcy’s lips pressed into a tight line. He had been certain she had needed time alone after escaping George Wickham. Her interactions with Bingley forced him to comprehend how much they both missed their cousin, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam.

“I do hope my room is near William’s. We intend to spend evenings reading together a new book,” Georgiana said, providing her brother an excuse to avoid Miss Bingley.

At Miss Bingley’s pinched expression, Darcy wondered, Had she intended my rooms to be nearer her own than my sister’s? Darcy was beginning to think Georgiana’s decision to come with him was turning out to be the best decision he had never made.

“Darce, there is an assembly in Meryton this evening. We are expected. Louisa and her husband have said they will attend. It is the quickest way to see us introduced to my neighbors,” Bingley said, nearly prancing in anticipation.

“True, and I intend to meet them. But I just traveled from London and would see my sister is settled, Bingley.”

Miss Bingley simpered, “I was certain you would wish to avoid such company, Darcy. I told my brother I will stay with you and dear Georgiana.”

Were that not nauseating enough, the ingratiating flutter of her lashes made Darcy ill.

“I insist you both go,” Georgiana said. Her doing so put an end to the discussion, as she rarely made decisions for anyone, not even herself. “Having received a letter from Cousin Anne before we departed London, I intend to write her.”

“If you are certain?” Darcy assessed his sister, only now aware of how little she enjoyed Miss Bingley’s company.

Yes, Darcy knew he owed his sister recompense for enduring Miss Bingley’s visits, having been surprised when he learned how often they occurred. Alas, standing up with Miss Bingley would be a torturous experience for him.

As they traveled to Netherfield, Georgiana confided that Miss Bingley’s numerous calls on her seemed only an effort to gain Darcy’s notice. Knowing Miss Bingley had feigned interest in his sister these last four years, he found it difficult to hide his dislike of her.

Having learned of her, at times, weekly visits, Darcy had since discerned that the only subjects on which he had willingly participated with Miss Bingley were those concerning his sister.

He winced when recalling having asked Miss Bingley’s opinion on his sister’s studies.

In many ways, he was just as angry with himself.

He knew not why he had asked the woman such a question when he did not consider her opinions to be either informed or insightful.

“I insist. Do pay attention to those of Mr. Bingley’s neighbors you meet and learn which families have daughters of my age.

” Georgiana looked at him sweetly whilst sentencing him to spend the evening with a woman he could only just manage to tolerate with equanimity before.

Now he thought it might well be beyond him.

“I am glad to know you will join me, Darce. You will not regret meeting those of Hertfordshire. Those whom I have been introduced thus far have been generous, excellent sorts,” Bingley said, making his way to the study.

In following his sister to their rooms, Darcy was satisfied by how neatly his doing so dislodged Miss Bingley from his side. Though he would never claim pleasure in spending an evening with those he did not know, he was pleased to see Bingley taking his place in the society of Meryton.

Later, at dinner, conversation became so tedious that Darcy could only look forward to their departure.

His jaw clenched each time Miss Bingley claimed familiarity with him.

The meal grew more awkward when he began answering the lady with single-word responses.

Still, he refused to be pressed into speaking of that which the woman was ignorant or agree to her disagreeable remarks about the area.

“Caroline, enough,” Mrs. Hurst whispered to her sister. She attempted to intervene to spare her youngest sibling some dignity when Darcy’s lack of inclination to converse with her, no matter the subject introduced, became impossible to mistake.

With dinner over, Darcy hoped to avoid Miss Bingley’s next attempt at engaging him. To spare the woman’s relations further embarrassment on her behalf, Darcy excused himself to escort Georgiana to her room.

Having no expectation of the assembly in Meryton being a pleasant experience, Darcy still appreciated that they would attend. Anything was more preferable than spending an evening confined in a drawing room with Miss Bingley. Being drawn and quartered was amongst those preferences.

While his valet tied his cravat, Darcy considered how best to convey to Miss Bingley his disinclination for her constant flattery.

The answer presented itself in the bevy of insults she had directed at those in Hertfordshire throughout the afternoon.

With little contemplation, he became certain that dancing with some local lady would demonstrate how little he regarded Miss Bingley’s… opinions.

Any young lady from the area would do, but one with a sister of Georgiana’s age would be ideal.

Then I can prove I mean to encourage Ana in her efforts to form a friendship.

Yes, tonight I shall dance with a lady who is highly regarded by society here.

And tomorrow, I will introduce her to my sister.

That it was also a convenient way to stave off Miss Bingley’s company, Darcy could only favor the plan.

It was his practice to avoid dancing so as not to give rise to expectations.

But surely, no young lady here would think so much of themselves as to believe they could gain his particular notice.

Of course, when I leave the area, I need never see these people again.

Darcy’s Senses are Assaulted

Darcy fled from the brash and obnoxious Mrs. Bennet.

The matron had made a grand spectacle of putting forward her eldest when he and Bingley were introduced to her flock of daughters.

Darcy soon learned the motivation for Bingley’s seeking an introduction to the family: for he had found yet another “angel,” or so Bingley had declared Miss Bennet to be.

Darcy gave Bingley credit; the man had espied the only beauty in the room.

Knowing Miss Bingley, if he had chosen Miss Bennet to partner, the woman would have mistaken the younger and more alluring lady as competition. Perhaps, even redoubled her efforts to hold his attention on her.

Should I give up my plan? Miss Bingley is more likely to ignore me if I favor a less beautiful woman.

And a wit might provide some diversion this hellish evening.

It would take very little to eclipse that of Miss Bingley.

Cutting down others is how she displays hers, which takes no true wit at all, Darcy pondered.