33. Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Three
C ody spent the evening attending a dinner party and trying to stay in the moment and not think about Brooke and the trouble at her school. He had to live his very hectic life and keep the promises he’d made to Kristi, while working toward partner at his law firm and keeping on top of his board responsibilities.
Brooke had her own life, a life separate and different than the one he lived.
Shifting his focus to his fiancée, he took in how pretty she looked tonight. Beautiful in a navy-blue gown, her golden hair shone bright, and her eyes were blue as the sky. She spoke to a group of people and laughed. The sound made him feel a little lighter. He liked seeing her this way, relaxed and engaging with everyone in the room. She fit in perfectly.
Their lives would be like this from now on.
If he felt like something was missing all the time, he ignored it. He had to.
But…
This was the closest he’d been to Brooke in months. The university wasn’t that far from tonight’s party. He and Kristi would spend the night in the city. In the morning, he could let Kristi sleep in while he went to see Brooke. Check on her. Make sure she was doing okay. See her. Look at her. Talk to her. Hear her voice.
She doesn’t want to see you. You closed that chapter, and Brooke burned the book.
Still, Susanne would appreciate it if he checked in with Brooke and made sure her studies were going well. He’d make sure she didn’t need anything. Whatever trouble was happening on campus, he wanted to know it hadn’t touched her.
He hoped it wasn’t one of her friends who had been attacked.
He could swing by Brooke’s dorm. Just for a minute. That’s all he needed. He’d feel better if he saw her.
You made your choice, and it’s what’s best for everyone. Seeing her isn’t going to change anything.
It would cause a fight between him and Kristi.
Most of the time when he thought back on all that happened, he wondered how it all turned to shit and realigned into this new life, where he didn’t have his best friend anymore. Where the woman beside him was good enough, but not quite perfect.
He knew that wasn’t fair to Kristi. She’d done nothing wrong.
Well, except somehow the pill didn’t work, she'd waited weeks to find out she was pregnant, and she’d neglected to tell him about the miscarriage when it happened. He knew there were reasons, but sometimes he wondered if they mattered and if things could have been different if only…
Yeah. If only.
Kristi broke away from the group she was talking with and headed for him with a smile on her face. When she reached him, she gave him a quick kiss, and put her hands on his chest. “Enjoying yourself, honey?”
“It’s a great party.” Cody took a sip of his drink. He rubbed his hand up her arm to her shoulder just to touch her. Kristi was here. Brooke was living her own life. She didn’t want to talk to him. She didn’t want to see him. She had someone else. All he had with her was the possibility that he’d see her later.
“They’re about to serve dinner. Let’s take our seats.”
Cody escorted her to their table.
Kristi smiled, pleased they were at the head table with the benefit organizers, one of whom served on the board at the children’s hospital with him and made sure he and Kristi were at his table. It spoke to the position and standing Cody held within the community and state now.
Mrs. Ireson was the wife of a very prominent judge, and one of the ladies responsible for organizing tonight’s dinner. She leaned into Kristi. “You’re marrying one of the most eligible bachelors in the state.”
Cody rolled his eyes at that flirtatious announcement.
Mrs. Ireson waved her hand at him. “You know it’s true. Most of these people will either attend your wedding or wish they had been invited.”
Kristi shone with the attention.
Cody couldn’t care less.
Mrs. Ireson focused on Kristi, thank God. “How are the plans for the wedding coming, dear?”
“They’re moving along nicely. I just can’t wait for the big day.”
“I heard you postponed the wedding until late June,” Mrs. Ireson said.
Kristi glanced at him and he read the hesitation in her eyes. They never spoke about the baby. They didn’t tell anyone besides Brooke and Susanne. Not even Kristi’s parents knew about their loss.
And the extra time they’d taken had allowed them time to grow closer together and for Cody to see that they were a good match.
They fit. Several people had already commented on how great he and Kristi looked together. What a great couple they were.
“We put the wedding off a few months because of Cody’s caseload. We wanted to wait until things slowed down, and we could take a nice honeymoon without him feeling guilty for taking time away from his clients.”
“I’m sure he knows a thing or two about being guilty,” Mrs. Ireson joked.
Kristi squeezed his hand, reading his darkening mood.
He tried to lighten things up. “Not all my clients are guilty,” Cody said with lighthearted protest. “Some of them might actually have been framed,” he quipped.
“Spoken like a true defense attorney. How many guests are you expecting at your wedding?” Mrs. Ireson asked with interest. “You two make such a lovely couple.”
“Thank you.” Kristi beamed. “Two hundred and fifty, give or take a dozen,” Kristi said enthusiastically.
The waiters served dinner and conversation stilled.
Kristi leaned over as he picked up a bite of chicken with his fork and said, “I got the RSVP back from Brooke. She’s officially not coming. I thought you should know.”
His hand dropped to his plate, the fork clinking loudly. Dinner forgotten, he tried to breathe through the punch of pain.
He didn’t blame Kristi for telling him this way. She probably thought it best done quickly and as matter-of-factly as possible, and in a place where he couldn’t disappear to be alone for hours at a time.
Cody had tried very hard not to let Kristi see how much he missed Brooke these last few months, but she sometimes caught him in his office looking at the pictures on his desk and the walls. Pictures of him and Brooke.
He tried to show Kristi that he’d changed.
Without Brooke in his life, he confided in Kristi more. He talked to her about his work and things that were troubling him. Okay, maybe not unless she prodded, but still, he opened up to her about some of the things he used to share only with Brooke. Kristi’s way of handling things was always about him schmoozing someone to get what he wanted, or cutting corners to make this happen faster. Brooke had always encouraged him to be the better man and lawyer, saying that taking the easy way wasn’t always the right way. She always made him feel better about his final decision where Kristi sometimes made him feel like he wasn’t getting where she wanted him to go fast enough.
They still had nearly two months until the wedding. “Maybe Brooke will change her mind. By then, she’ll be home for the summer.” Cody remained ever hopeful that one day soon she’d call and they’d talk and find a way to be friends again.
“Maybe it’s for the best if she doesn’t attend.”
He was really tired of hearing that.
“You’ll only be uptight and worried about her. It’s our day. We want to be happy and carefree on the day.”
He hoped he could pull that off.
“I’ll move into our house after the honeymoon. We’ll have the summer to settle in together as husband and wife. It wouldn’t surprise me if she had a boyfriend and she’d rather spend the summer with him.”
Cody downed the last of his bourbon, turned to Kristi, and in a low voice advised, “Maybe we should stick to how things have been the last few months and not talk about Brooke.”
Kristi’s eyes went wide at the anger in his voice, and she plastered on a smile for their audience at the table and asked in a cheerful voice, “How is that new bull working out at the ranch?”
Cody sucked it up. “He’s ornery as hell. He’s already gone through two fences. When we start breeding him, he’ll be happier. He’s going to make beautiful babies.”
“And so will we someday.” The minute the words left Kristi’s mouth, she went still and her eyes turned somber, like she couldn’t believe she’d said that after what happened.
Cody often thought about the baby they lost. He hadn’t realized how much he wanted to be a father until he knew there was a baby on the way. He knew these things happened, especially early in the pregnancy. The tiny being had barely had time to develop before they lost it. Still. It stuck with him.
He took Kristi’s hand and squeezed it. “We will have beautiful babies someday,” he said and tried to smile, but he couldn’t quite pull it off.
They’d have beautiful blonde-haired, blue-eyed babies. Not dark-haired, green-eyed ones.
He tossed that thought out of his mind and tried to eat his meal. It was no use. His appetite disappeared along with his good mood. Kristi seemed to sense it in him and made the rest of the evening easier by keeping things lighthearted. If he missed a beat in the conversation, she covered for him. He could rely on her in situations like this. She got him through the next hour by charming their friends and his colleagues. No one seemed to notice his distraction.
He took Kristi home the next morning after a quiet breakfast in the hotel’s café.
He didn’t stop by the university to check on Brooke, deciding instead to live with the choices he’d made and give Brooke the space she so obviously wanted.
He’d committed to Kristi and a life with her.