Accept No Evil （First Person） #5
“I believe Bingley would marry you right here, right now, without a second thought. He has lamented losing your good opinion almost constantly for the last year. He has been relentless in improving himself, with the idea of becoming worthy. You have seen his efforts from afar, but I have watched them closely and can tell you that he is improved immensely. He learned a hard lesson last year… we both did. Bingley learned it well. He is worthy, and would be thrilled to know he has come up to the mark. He is still in want of the kind of good sense a wife can provide, but is otherwise a very good man.”
Though I expected the answer, his nonchalance set my mind at ease.
I had locked Mr Bingley in such a small corner of my mind for so long, I could almost pretend I had not thought of him in ages.
Mr Darcy obviously knew Mr Bingley still held a tendre for me, yet offered himself first for my comfort and security.
He almost trusted Mr Bingley with my future, but trusted himself completely.
I looked at my best friend intently. “If I must fall in love with my husband after marriage, it might be easier with a man where I am already halfway there. If Mr Bingley will have me, I will happily marry him. But he must know the entire story and be allowed his own choice.”
Thus concluded the oddest proposal in the Bennet family’s history. If Mr Darcy said Mr Bingley wished to marry me, it was almost certainly so. I agreed with the match, yet was not at all certain how I felt. I either looked forward to it, or was petrified—or, more likely, both.
“As you wish. I will have Bingley here late tonight, and you may discuss the matter. It is fifty miles of good road to Hertfordshire; half a day’s ride. I shall send an express instantly to demand his presence. You may consider my offer open until you accept another. I will not see you distressed.”
Observing his earnestness, I wondered at my nonchalance in throwing away a proposal from the richest, handsomest, most amiable, most intelligent, and definitely most honourable man I had ever met—and the man I currently considered my best friend.
I was throwing it all away for a man who barely engaged my heart over three or four public meetings before his sisters separated us; and wondered why I felt as though I had done the right thing.
First was the obvious thought: this would not be Mr Darcy’s first choice. No one wishes to accept a second choice; I did not desire to be his second choice any more than he desired to be mine. Both of us would have been content, and likely happy eventually, but it would never be quite right.
After a moment, I said carefully, “Very well, but I believe you may put your mind at ease. I shall be quite content, and in the end, I believe both of us will be happy. But make no mistake, sir! I will allow neither of you to be forced into marriage. He will come to me freely and happily, or not at all!”
Mr Darcy appeared thoughtful. “I believe you need not worry about his willingness, but I must allow him to speak for himself. As to your future felicity, I trust your judgement, but I am curious. You have spoken with the man for perhaps a few hours at best, and that under constrained social circumstances. How can you be so certain?”
It seemed an excellent question, for there was little evidence to support my conviction of happiness. I reflected a moment. “I believe I may answer that with two things my sister likes to say.”
He looked at me in expectation.
“Lizzy likes to say, ‘Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure,’ and ‘I always believe in first impressions.’ I can easily forgive Mr Bingley offences not even committed by himself, and I assure you, my first impressions were quite favourable, as were my second, third, and fourth. I believe his actions this past year have brought his character more in alignment with what my first impressions supposed, and I believe I will be quite content with the man you bring me tomorrow. Perhaps the Mr Bingley of a year ago would not have suited, but I believe the Mr Bingley of today will do well. Neither of us are what we were, and sometimes one must simply take a leap in the dark and trust to providence.”
Mr Darcy nodded in acknowledgment, a slight smile on his face.
A more cynical person might think he smiled because he had escaped yet another matrimonial snare; but that was not our natures.
He was pleased to have turned a bad situation into a good one, and thought the results would be most satisfactory.
“I should tell you one other thing of interest.”
“I will hear it with pleasure.”
“While I have spoken to Mr Bingley only briefly and under constraint, I have spoken to you quite extensively in privacy. At present, I consider you my best friend. I trust you! If you trust Mr Bingley, that is more than good enough for me.”
How he received that news was difficult to discern, primarily because his left eye was swollen shut, bruises were forming down the side of his face, and his left arm obviously pained him abominably. The man was of a strong constitution, but the effort to finish what he had started was costly.
“You require medical attention, sir. The colonel will keep for a few hours, and perhaps a little time in gaol will either build character or at least make him suitable for rational discourse. Come with me and let me see to your comfort. It is the least I can do.”
We were closer to Rosings than the parsonage, so I took his arm, pretending I might support some of his weight, and led him to see his aunt.
We would tell her the story together, and the colonel would be gone before nightfall…
or perhaps the lady would keep him locked in the cellar on bread and water for a month or two.
Either outcome was perfectly suitable. What would happen to his infamous ‘habits of expense’ was unknown, as it was certain his days of living upon Mr Darcy were over, and I doubted his father or elder brother would be enamoured of the scandal he had brought to the family.
The colonel could forget being heir to anything other than his sword and his horse for the foreseeable future.
As we walked, distracting Mr Darcy from his pain seemed worthwhile; or perhaps I selfishly wanted to use the distraction to ask an untoward question.
“Do you believe the few hours I spent in Mr Bingley’s company can give me enough information to decide how to live the rest of my life?”
He was not a man who gave thoughtless answers, or spoke the first thing that came to his mind. When he answered, he had thought it through. One might be frustrated by the wait for his opinion, and might not approve his answer, but it would be what he really thought.
“Yes, I believe two people of sound character may learn quite a lot in little time. You have both grown in the last year and a half, but your essential goodness of character was well fixed back then. You were both short on backbone and resilience, but that deficit has been corrected. I have come to appreciate what he saw in you almost immediately, and I think you will find him exactly what you thought he was.”
I gave him an impudent grin. “Exactly as I thought, sir. Now I have one more question before I let you go.”
“I am at your disposal, madam.”
It was heartening to see his good humour peeking through his pain and discomfort.
I smiled archly like Lizzy might.
“Well sir, I ask because I am curious as to exactly how much time you spent in conversation with my sister Elizabeth.”