Play No Evil （Free Indirect Discourse） #4
“Not really. I came here to court you, not propose. We need time to know one another. I have business in New York for about six weeks before I return to Ohio. Let us use that time to learn if we suit one another. If we do, you may expect an offer.”
“Do you always move so quickly, Mr Read?” asked Miss Bennet.
Mr Read was under no illusions. He needed this lady’s goodwill to succeed in his suit, but he must earn it for its own merit.
Elizabeth was also a woman he would very much like to have as a part of his life going forward.
Aside from already considering her the sister he never had, he suspected hidden talents that would be exceptionally good for all involved if properly channelled.
Her schools were the prime example of her capability.
Perhaps she might educate every child in Ohio! Why limit the dream?
Drawing a deep breath to fortify himself for the address, he continued.
“I usually do things very carefully, Miss Bennet, and this is the most extreme action I have ever taken. If Miss de Bourgh had not mentioned your imminent departure for England, I would have acted much more decorously, but I was not willing to risk your departure without pleading my case. Sometimes in business, you must make a decision and abide by it. You must see opportunities other men might miss and take advantage. However, you must temper that aggressiveness with prudence. I am offering courtship because it is prudent, and it shows the respect a lady is due. I could have it no other way, but make no mistake of my intentions.”
Anne asked, “Are you saying that you would make me an offer today, but you are offering courtship out of courtesy and respect?”
Here the man stood on the precipice. It was true he had moved things along headlong in a rush, and he had a hard time explaining why, but he could not regret the decision. His heart was fully engaged, and he may as well just drag his head along for the ride.
“Yes, that is what I am about, Miss de Bourgh. It is my intention to make you my wife, but I wish no regrets or misunderstandings along the way. Should my suit be successful we will have many years together, so a few weeks in the beginning will not matter.”
Elizabeth had been listening carefully, both to what was said, and more importantly what was not said, and the manner in which it was delivered. She possessed no supernatural powers, but at the moment, she trusted the man.
Anne surprised both with her next assertion.
“Mr Read, before you go any further, I need to point out a matter to you.”
“Yes?”
Anne’s nervousness radiated through their skirts; their limbs had been touching the entire time and twitched abominably, even had Elizabeth not heard the tremor in her friend’s voice. Anne was both distressed by what she planned to reveal and resolute in her determination to speak it.
“I am… unhealthy, sir. I am not at all certain I can bear a child.”
Anne was staring at her shoes now, and probably blushing furiously.
“I have been pale and sickly all my life. Elizabeth has brought me out of that this last year, but I am not at all certain of my recovery. I was feeling ill enough a fortnight ago to return home, fearing the end was near.”
Elizabeth gasped in consternation, both at the sentiment and the fact that Anne had withheld this from her. She was distressed at Anne’s secret, but a bit proud of her friend for her ability to maintain the deception. It was difficult to fool Elizabeth Bennet regularly.
All three drew a collective breath, and Anne continued.
“It is true that I am heir to a sizable fortune, Mr Read, but it is really the estate that is the greater part of the fortune, and I will not take anything from it but my dowry. I could not bring most of what I own to a marriage. Even if I could, it would not be fair to the estate. If I stay here, I will not be penniless, but neither will I bring an enormous boon. My mother must be able to pass the estate to someone else, and it must be passed whole and complete.”
“Thank goodness!”
Both ladies gasped at the unexpected outburst from the gentleman.
Mr Read hurried to explain. “Ladies, you see… we men have our pride, and I would find my wife bringing a large fortune to be a detriment to mine. I want my wife to bring love, companionship, intelligence, conversation, and the ability to help us build our own fortune. If I begin with a large fortune that was not earned, the opportunity is lost, do you not see?”
Neither lady had ever considered lack of fortune anything save a drawback, but if one was after true love and felicity in a marriage, one could see his point, even if one could not agree with it.
Elizabeth for the first time wondered how difficult it might be to find true friendship or esteem with the weight of an estate and a large fortune hanging about one’s neck.
“And my health?” Anne asked with a quavering voice that suggested to Elizabeth that her heart was fully engaged, but she was desperately grasping at straws that would allow her to retain the image she had fostered over all these years.
“Do you have a certain diagnosis of something fatal, Miss de Bourgh? Perhaps consumption, cancer, a disorder of the blood, a weak heart, or something of that nature?”
“No, I just know I am unwell.”
At this point, Mr Read had wisely released Elizabeth’s hand some time past and was on his knees, entirely too close to Anne for propriety or even for what a married couple should do in public, but neither of them had noticed.
“And I must ask it, my lovely Anne, do you want children? You know every woman gambles her life every time she brings a new child into the world, but perhaps your health would make the risk even greater than usual. Do you want a child… genuinely want a child… enough to take the chance? I could not bear it if you did so to make me happy.”
He was staring at her so intently that there was no need for her to make the slightest answer. The expression passed over her countenance: first hope, then hopelessness, then fear, then desperation, and then… finally resolution. She had come to a decision.
“Yes, I want my own children. I never thought it possible, so I never had to think about it, but I find that yes, I am willing to take my chances with the rest of the wives of the world. I have spent years trying to convince myself it was impossible, but I now see I was just trying to protect myself from disappointment. If you are willing to risk your future heirs on such a frail vessel as myself, I might take the chance with you.”