Darcy
Choose No Evil (Alternating First Person)
Charlotte
What is it about cliffsides? Does everyone seek one whenever they must think, or am I alone in this? Right or left? Left or right? Why always those questions?
It all started at Rosings when we encountered a Valkyrie who looked just like Jane Bingley, who crowned four months of my hard work.
There must be some chance involved, some trickster who thrust me into a house with that man for months, only to have the final measure of his recovery delivered by another.
I, of course, had no reason to repine; success was all I wanted, and there was a new ease and friendliness to the colonel—sometimes.
He was still a haunted man, and would always be, but he was on the way to recovery.
I no longer truly feared his fists, his words, or his will to survive.
The tall, blonde Valkyrie goddess, of course, claims no credit for his recovery, or perhaps merely a trifle.
In our many hours discussing my patient, we concluded that meeting the object of his shame and the demand for forgiveness, precisely when he had been prepared, was the key to success.
Neither of us could take full credit, as we each played our part in our own time.
That discussion allowed us both to be happy, as our natural modesty allowed each to give more credit to the other than was due; while simultaneously, each of our abominable pride allowed us to feel the lion’s share.
It was contradictory and circular, as are most human affairs, and we were both content.
Mr Darcy was, of course, champing at the bit to be off to the wilds of America, but he is still the most diligent man I have ever met and would not leave things in a poor state.
I also suspect he was aware that appearing to court Lizzy without having done everything possible to ensure all people and properties under his protection were secure would be ill-received.
He was to spend a full month giving the colonel instruction while he arranged transportation.
Before Mr Darcy left, we had a somewhat odd conversation.
“Miss Lucas, I cannot even begin to thank you properly for bringing my cousin back from the very abyss. I owe you all the thanks I have and more. I am quite certain Richard owes you his life.”
“Thank you, Mr Darcy. I am a little proud of most of what I did these past months.”
“A little proud!”
The man still had the ability to startle me, and that exclamation made me jump, but his immediate chuckle restored my ease, and he continued.
“I think not, but you may feed your modesty as you choose, so long as you understand your modesty is actually well-earned hubris in disguise.”
That had me laughing, and I could see why all the Bennet ladies fell in love with the man.
“I believe my task here is complete. I should like to go home for a while. I can travel to Hertfordshire with the Bingleys. It has been an… interesting two years.”
“We have business to conduct before you go.”
That sounded odd, to say the least, so I bade him sit in the small summer parlour and rang for tea.
“May we discuss your… arrangement with the general?”
He was well aware of my avowed goal. I may have even told him at some point, but it was impolitic for him to bring it up now.
I, of course, had complete faith in the man and saw no objection to his involvement in my affairs.
I had been under his protection for months, and I would be surprised were he not to take that responsibility as seriously as all his other duties.
“I would like to ask you to suspend the general’s actions for a time. Are you in a particular hurry to wed?”
He was approaching an uncomfortable area, and I started to feel a bit tense and restless, so I picked up my work box that sat there like a talisman and idly fingered the repairs.
I would likely not feel the need to smash it against yet another gentleman’s head, but I found the box’s presence in my hands comforting.
“I am not in a hurry to be married. I am content for the moment, but I am in a hurry to be settled—to know I will not be a burden to my parents or my brothers, to know that I will have home and hearth one day. Why do you ask?”
He gave me a piercing look that I am certain he never turned on any of the simpering ladies of the ton. It was too bad it would be wholly ineffective with Elizabeth. Like Jane, he would not suit me, but he would suit somebody very well.
“I now hold both you and Mrs Bingley in a degree of affection previously reserved for my sister and… one other. I find I am not satisfied with you accepting an officer unless that is your fondest desire. I would prefer to see you mistress of an estate.”
I just laughed. “Yes, yes of course. Perhaps I could be a princess as well.”
The insufferable man laughed again, showing the good humour only a few of us were privileged to see.
“Even I cannot achieve that, but mistress of a sizable estate is well within your grasp. I would like to settle a decent dowry on you, and launch you into society… and please spare me the tedium of disagreement. It is already done, and done for the best. I will of course ask my aunt, Lady Matlock, to assist with your introduction. If you can simply wait half a year for my return, I will introduce you to men of worth and character, and I have no doubt you will soon secure a home and husband worthy of you… ideally close enough to Pemberley to maintain our association.”
This should have been shocking, yet it was not. Still, I had to ask, “Why?”
He gave me his customary smirk. “You know why! Well, at least you know part of the reason. You no doubt understand how much of this I do for the same reason as the general—gratitude, affection, and appreciation for a difficult task well done. That much we can at least agree on, surely?”
“Yes, I can see a man like you would feel that.”
“Of course, there is also the matter of my pride.”
“Your pride?” I asked in confusion
“Yes, my pride. I would feel proud to know that I helped arrange a match that is good for you and good for one of my friends or acquaintances. You are exactly what a young master of an estate needs, and it would gratify my pride to place one of those men in my debt. Yes, my pride demands nothing less. I will be quite insufferable about it when the deed is done, and equally morose if you deny me the boasting privileges. Truly, my future happiness is in your hands.”
Insufferable man!
“You are an enigma.”
“Perhaps, but unless you plan a contest of wills, I would ask you to accede to my scheme.”
“Well—”
“Pray, will you at least think on it? I am in something of a hurry to make my own journey that you know all about, but I would like to be the one to launch you into society and do my best to help you choose wisely. I like and respect your father, but he does not know many beyond Meryton society, and we can agree your fate lies elsewhere? If you are not in a great hurry, I would appreciate the privilege.”
He was so earnest and endearing, I had to relent.
“I hope you can turn such specious arguments into success with Lizzy. She is somewhat set in her ways. You will need your wits about you.”
“Is she likely to knock me senseless with a workbox?”
That set me giggling, which had most certainly not been a habit these past months, and the gentleman joined me immediately. Yes, he would do for Lizzy. He would do for Lizzy very well.
“She may try, but if you cannot dodge a blind woman, you deserve what you get.”
He joined me in laughter, so I returned to the main topic.
“I am not in a desperate hurry. I will not live on your charity—”
He started shaking his head, but I forestalled his protests.
“—or gratitude, or sisterly affection, or duty to your cousin, or whatever you choose to call it—”
He subsided, and nodded, or at least ceased trying to interrupt.
“—forever sir, but I will abide it for a time.”
I then noticed how tickled he looked with my agreement. This was important to him. He was delighted either with his ability to do me a service, or perhaps his ability to prevail in an argument. Either one would serve him well with Lizzy, as even she had limits to her stubbornness.
He reached out with great forwardness and gave my hand a squeeze, then continued his relentless campaign.
“I thank you. My cousin will, in the fullness of time, thank you for his life as well.”
“It is my pleasure.”
“May I make a suggestion? Take a fortnight or a month to visit your parents and friends in Meryton as you planned. Allow me to set matters in motion for my return. After your holiday, you might return to your tasks at the hospital, though I believe you have already done more than your fair share; or you may stay here at Rosings and enjoy a holiday, though if you stay with Lady Catherine for more than a week you may never escape; or you may take a trip. Visit the Lake District, take a couple of months in my townhouse in London, or stay at Pemberley. Perhaps you might spend a month with my sister? If you are in a hurry, I will ask my aunt and uncle to introduce you around before my return and act as your protectors in my stead; but if you can bear to wait, I would enjoy the privilege.”
With that, he stood. “Pray, take your time with a decision. Salina refuses to leave your side, so you will be accompanied and funded in whatever choice you make. She knows how to contact my steward, and he will make all the arrangements. If you decide on a trip, take any friends you like with you. Barrow and his wife will also gladly accompany you and see to all the arrangements.”