Epilogue
Los Angeles, 2028
George
Lucas once showed me a clip where Sir Steve Redgrave, Britain’s greatest ever Olympian, tells a reporter after winning his fourth Olympic gold medal that if anyone sees him near a rowing boat again, they have permission to shoot him. Four years later, he competed in his fifth Olympics and won another gold – avoiding any assassinations from people claiming an unusual defence. In the immediate aftermath of my second aborted attempt at winning the Boat Race, I decided I was done with rowing. Yet three years on, here I am in the LA Olympic Village.
‘The security guard saw us,’ hisses Lucas.
‘No he didn’t. Just keep walking.’
‘What if he catches us?’
I grin at Lucas. ‘That’s part of the fun.’
We’ve busted into the Athletes’ Village, despite neither of us having anything more than spectators’ tickets. I haven’t sat in a rowing boat since that day in London. We’re here to support Fran. Only her race doesn’t start for another hour, and Lucas has decided there’s something he’d like to do between now and then.
Apparently, when he was younger, he read a report about how the Olympic Village was a hotbed of sex. Since then, it’s been a major fantasy of his. All he needs is a bit of a push to get past his nerves. That’s where I step in.
I spot a half-open door and pull Lucas inside. It’s some kind of media room, with a desk and broadcasting equipment, but it’s empty. I shut the door, then start kissing Lucas. But he’s not ready to give in to it.
‘What if someone comes in?’
I turn a lock on the door. ‘Happy now?’
Lucas notices the bulge in my shorts. ‘Someone is.’
Lucas and I have been together for more than three years now, and he still turns me on as much as he always did. It didn’t take us long to figure out a plan. Once the dust settled, I realised I really didn’t want to go to Stanford. That meant I had to tell Jemima and Rick, which obviously scared the shit out of me, but Lucas gave me the courage to do it. He’s great like that.
We moved to a tiny apartment in London, and Lucas got a job at a think tank while I figured out what to do next. The documentary series came out, and Landon was edited as the villain. He quit his job and moved back to Australia. Last time I googled him, he was the guest on a botched plastic surgery reality show.
The documentary got me a lot of attention, and Jemima kept encouraging me to capitalise on it. In the end, I sort of did. I’d been spending a lot of time in the gym while I was unemployed, and I decided to become a personal trainer.
I used my social media following to get my business up and running. I love getting the best out of people, making them smile and be proud of themselves. Lucas makes sure I’m strict with them too. I have a few celebrity clients who pay double so I can give free lessons to people who can’t afford it. That was Lucas’s idea. I still post quite a lot of selfies. It’s not a cry for help – I’m just giving the people what they want.
Most days I love my job, but it’s not what I live for. Mainly it’s the simple things. Lucas and I both missed the routine of rowing, so we decided to learn tennis together. Nothing makes me happier than playing at the weekend on a court in the middle of a beautiful old square in South London. Cooking each other meals from tomatoes we’ve bought at the farmer’s market. Watching four episodes of Real Housewives of Orange County in a row.
Every summer, we go to Wisconsin. Our first trip was sweet but a bit awkward. My parents tried so hard but couldn’t relax. So the following year, we came up with a plan. Lucas and I ran a rowing camp for the local kids. We just did our second edition last week, and we’re planning to make it a lifelong tradition. My parents do the cooking, and even Chuck drives the minibus. Lucas says half the kids have crushes on me, but trust me, they’re obsessed with him too. It’s bittersweet every time we leave, and I hate how much older my parents look each time I see them. But it does help me appreciate how young I am. How much time Lucas and I still have.
‘Slow down,’ I say to Lucas as he frantically unzips me.
‘We don’t have that long until Fran’s race.’
I reach into his pants. ‘What do you want to do?’
Lucas gives me a cheeky smile.
‘What we never got to do that time in Dr Castillo’s cupboard.’
Lucas
We emerge from the Athlete’s Village looking flustered and head towards the rowing lake. That’s one off the bucket list. I’d never have done it if George hadn’t pushed me. I really don’t know what I did to deserve him. And I’m not just talking about living out my sexual fantasies, although we did have a threesome last year with a very famous actor who slid into George’s DMs.
The past three years have been happier than I ever thought possible. I can’t tell you how good it feels when I get home from a long day of hating my colleagues and George is there to perk me up and give me some perspective. I don’t actually hate my colleagues. Well, not most of them. I work for a think tank as a junior economist. It’s demanding, which I like, but it’s good to be reminded that it’s just a job. Nobody’s better at doing that than George. My god, I love that man.
In hindsight, I’m glad everything turned out the way it did. I’m not sure I would have appreciated how good I have it now if I hadn’t had those nine months with Amir. Bless him, honestly. He’s a good person, and he’s living the life that he wants. According to Instagram, he’s dating a Swedish art expert in his thirties. Their life looks unbelievably boring. I’m so happy for him.
I don’t know what mine and George’s future looks like. At the moment, we’ve got a routine that works, but I don’t like the idea of it staying the same for the rest of our lives. I want to do something that scares me every few years, and I know George will hold my hand when the time comes. I see what it takes out of him every time we leave America, even if he smiles through it, and I’m well aware I could be earning more out there than I do in London. We don’t have a ton of money, but life feels luxurious compared to how I grew up. George and I are both perfectly happy with Cheddar cheese eaten straight from the fridge. If we did decide to move one day, we might have to get married, which I can’t say is an idea that I hate. Can you imagine that man in a wedding suit?
‘Boys?’
We look up to see Deb walking towards us. I grin at George, then we race over and bundle her into a hug despite her obvious reluctance.
‘Oh my god, Deb,’ says George, ‘we talk about you all the time! The way you let Lucas follow his heart like that. You’re kind of a gay icon among our friends.’
Deb looks at George, deadpan. ‘Bollocks.’
We both laugh.
‘Who are you here to watch?’ I ask.
Deb allows a proud smile to creep onto her face. ‘Guess.’
By all accounts, my impromptu speech at the Boat Race had a lasting effect on Deb. She not only installed Fran as her first choice cox, but became her mentor, and neither of them have ever looked back. Deb’s seat is in a different part of the stands, so we promise to find her afterwards and celebrate with Fran whatever the result. As we take our seats and the crews line up, I feel a pang of envy.
‘Do you really not miss rowing?’ I ask George.
He looks at me in surprise. ‘No. Do you?’
‘Sometimes. People always joked about me doing nothing as cox, but there were so many things to think about.’
‘Maybe for you. I found it so dull by the end. I mean compare this to if we were watching a match at Wimbledon. This is just a flat race. No twists and turns.’
‘But that’s the beauty of it. It’s so simple. So brutal.’
George looks at me, amused by how fired up I am. ‘Do you honestly think we would have coped if we’d raced against each other in the Boat Race? Would we be here now if one of us had beaten the other?’
I ruffle his hair affectionately. ‘Speak for yourself. I know I would be.’
I don’t have to imagine it. George beats me at tennis most weekends. Sometimes I’m mad for a minute, but then he lets me sulk on the way home, buys me a treat at the bakery, and cuddles me on the sofa until I’ve forgotten all about it.
And that’s how I know it was really me who won.