11. Freddie
FREDDIE
THEN – SOPHOMORE YEAR – JANUARY
I s there a better feeling than absolutely demolishing your best friend at NBA 2K?
I don’t think so.
The controller vibrates in my hands as I smash all the right buttons, eliciting an angry grunt from Troy. My phone buzzes, Alex’s name illuminating the screen.
“Pause the game, asshole,” Troy grumbles as I reach for my phone.
I smirk. “Like you need the break.”
She probably wants to gush about her big date with Eric the Wonderful.
“Hey, Lex. How’s the date?—”
The words die in my throat. Sniffling crackles through the speaker, Alex’s voice choked with tears.
Fuck. Who fucking dared to make her cry?
“Freddie? Can you…can you come get me?” I’m already on my feet, scanning the room for my keys.
“Where are you? What happened?”
“I’m at The Hungry Vegan on Fifth. Eric, he… Can you just come? Please?”
“I’m on my way,” I say, snatching my keys off the coffee table. “Stay put, okay?”
I turn to Troy, his eyebrows arched in question. “Gotta go. Alex needs me.”
He smirks like the smug bastard he is. “Ah, the old rescue-the-damsel play. Classic move, bro.”
I flip him off, heading for the door. “Not like that, dickhead. She’s my friend.”
Friend. Right. Friends’ voices don’t make your pulse race like you just mainlined Red Bull. Friends don’t hijack your thoughts day and fucking night. Friends don’t make you want to introduce guys named Eric to your fist for making them cry.
I break about a dozen speed limits getting to Fifth Street. Alex is there, huddled on a bench outside The Hungry Vegan, looking small and fragile. It reminds me of the first time we met, outside that party. Something primal and protective stirs in my gut, and I want to punch something. Preferably Eric’s face. Have I mentioned how punchable that guy is?
“Hey,” I say softly, approaching. “You okay?”
She looks up, her tear-stained face illuminated by the streetlights. My fists clench involuntarily, but then she offers a tremulous smile, and suddenly Eric becomes irrelevant.
“You came,” she says.
“Of course I did. What are friends for, right?”
She nods, wiping her eyes. “Can we just go? I don’t want to be here anymore.”
I bow with exaggerated flourish. “Your chariot awaits, m’lady.” It works—sort of. She rolls her eyes, but there’s a hint of amusement there.
As we walk to my car, I notice her shivering. Jesus, she’s barely wearing anything. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Lexie show so much skin. My gaze lingers on her chest spilling out of her tight top. Without thinking, I shrug off my jacket and drape it over her shoulders. She looks up, startled.
“It’s a jacket, Ford. You’re cold, accept it,” I order.
She mumbles thanks, and I pretend not to notice how fucking good she looks in my clothes. Christ, I’m in trouble.
Once in the car, I turn to her. “So, where to? Home? Or we could hit up that 24-hour diner you love, drown your sorrows in milkshakes.”
She shakes her head. “Can we…can we go to the movies?”
I blink, thrown off-guard. “You want to see a movie? Now?”
“No,” she says, a ghost of a smile playing on her lips. “I just really want some overpriced popcorn.”
I can’t help but chuckle. “Overpriced popcorn it is.”
As I pull out of the parking lot, I steal a glance at Alex. She’s gazing out the window, lost in thought, my jacket engulfing her small frame.
“My mom used to drive me to get popcorn when I’d had a bad day,” Alex says softly, breaking the silence. “She hated movies, couldn’t sit still long enough to get through them.” She pauses, her voice catching. “And my cousin Emma… she thought it was the stupidest thing ever.”
Alex laughs, but it’s a bittersweet sound. “Until she came with us one day. Then she said she was wrong, that buying movie popcorn to sit and eat in the car was actually the best thing ever.”
I nod, not sure what to say. But I know this shit’s important to her, so I keep my mouth shut and let her talk.
“That was the first and only time I ever heard her admit she was wrong,” Alex whispers, her voice so soft I have to strain to hear it. And fuck me if it doesn’t remind me of how I sound when I talk about Grandpops. The girl she’s talking about is no longer here.
“I’m sorry, Lex,” I offer, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder. It feels inadequate as hell, but it’s all I’ve got.
She gives me a small smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “It’s okay. It was a long time ago. We were just… very close. I don’t have any siblings, so she was more like a sister to me. I didn’t really realize she wasn’t my sister.”
I take a deep breath, trying to find the right words. “Well, whenever you’re ready, I’d love to hear more about her. Sounds like she was a badass and nearly as stubborn as her cousin.”
She laughs—it’s shaky and soft, but it’s real, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t do things to my insides.
I leave Alex in the car with the heat blasting and jog to the theater. The kid at the concession stand looks like he’d rather be anywhere else as I order two large popcorns. I think about getting candy too, but the popcorn alone costs more than my last oil change.
When I return to the car, Alex has the radio on low, some indie song I vaguely recognize playing softly. She gives me a small smile as I hand her the popcorn, our fingers brushing.
“Your bucket, m’lady,” I say, bowing like an idiot to try to get her to smile again.
She rolls her eyes but takes the popcorn, immediately digging in. “My hero,” she says around a mouthful, and I can’t help but grin.
We sit there in silence for a while, just munching on popcorn and listening to her hipster music. It’s… nice. Just being here with her, no pressure to talk or do anything. I can’t remember the last time I felt this content just sitting with someone.
“So,” I say eventually, keeping my tone casual. “You want to talk about what happened with Eric?”
Alex stiffens slightly, then sighs, fiddling with a piece of popcorn. “It was just… not what I expected. Eric isn’t the kind of guy I thought he was.”
A surge of adrenaline courses through me, my imagination running wild. My jaw clenches so tight I’m surprised I don’t crack a tooth.
“Did he… did he try something?” The words come out like a growl.
“No, no,” she says quickly, and I feel a momentary relief. “Nothing like that. He just… He wanted me to sleep with him. And when I said no, he got all pissy about it.”
The urge to find Eric and teach him a few things is overwhelming.
“What an asshole,” I mutter, the words tasting bitter on my tongue.
Alex nods, then lets out a laugh empty of any humor. “You know what’s stupid? When he gave me flowers at the beginning of the date, I thought it meant he was a gentleman. God, I’m so naive.”
Flowers. Gentleman. The realization of how wrong I would be for her is glaringly obvious. I’m not the guy who brings flowers or opens car doors. I’m the guy who takes girls to parties and hooks up with them in dark corners.
And Alex… Alex deserves so much more than that.
“Hey,” I say softly, reaching out to squeeze her hand before I can stop myself. “You’re one of the smartest people I know. And you deserve someone who treats you right.”
Her skin is so fucking smooth and soft.
She looks at me then, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears, and for a moment, the world stops spinning. “Thanks, Freddie,” she whispers. “I’m really glad we’re friends.”
Friends . Because that’s what we are. What we need to be. Alex deserves flowers, gentlemen, and fairytale endings.
And I’m… Well, I’m just me.
“Me too, Lex,” I say, forcing a smile that feels like it might crack my face. “Me too.”
As we sit there in my beat-up car, the smell of butter and salt hanging heavy in the air, I make a silent vow: I’ll be the best damn friend Alex could ever ask for. Because that’s what she needs. And if being her friend means squashing down whatever these confusing feelings are… well, that’s a small price to pay for keeping her in my life.
She leans her head on my shoulder, her warmth seeping through my shirt.
“You know,” Alex murmurs, her voice all sleepy and soft, “you’re kind of my hero tonight, Freddie.”
I swallow hard. “Nah, just your friendly neighborhood popcorn provider.”
She chuckles, the sound vibrating against my shoulder. “Well then, you’re the best popcorn provider a girl could ask for.”
I close my eyes, savoring the moment even though I know I shouldn’t. Because this—this closeness, this trust—it’s everything I want and everything I can’t fucking have.
We sit there in silence, the only sounds are the rustle of the popcorn bag and the car’s heater humming like a contented cat. Then Alex takes a breath so deep I can feel it.
“Freddie?” she mumbles. “Can I… can I tell you about Emma?”
“Of course, Lex. I’m all ears.”
She shifts slightly, unpeeling herself from my shoulder, taking another deep breath. “Emma was… She was everything I wanted to be, you know? Brave, kind, always putting others first.”
“She was the best,” Alex says softly, and I resist the urge to pull her closer. “She was only twenty-two, but she was already changing the world. Teaching preschool, always staying late for working parents, taking in strays—including this scruffy little puppy, Willow.” Her voice catches on the name.
I can’t help but smile at the fondness in her voice. “She sounds like she saw the good in everything.”
“She did,” Alex says with a sad little laugh that breaks my heart. “Even when everyone told her the puppy was too wild, she just said he needed extra love.”
The image I had of Alex—the girl who had it all, whose life was charmed and easy—crumbles away.
“What happened?” I ask gently.
“She had this little off-grid cabin she was so proud of,” Alex says softly. “Always talking about sustainable living, growing her own food, living off the land. She loved being there with Willow.”
I can’t help but smile at the fondness in her voice. “She sounds like she lived what she believed in.”
“She did. God, she was so excited about that well water at first. Said it tasted better than anything from the city.” Alex’s hands clench. “She had no idea the mining company’s waste was seeping into the groundwater. Their cheap contractors didn’t properly contain the tailings, and it just... it leaked. For months.”
I inhale a sharp breath.
“One day, Willow got loose near the lake, ran straight into the water. Emma went in after him, not knowing...” Alex’s voice shakes. “The puppy died that night. And Emma, she’d already been sick for a while—headaches, feeling tired, but we thought it was just stress from teaching. After the lake incident, everything got worse. By the time the doctors tested for heavy metals...”
I pull her in toward me as she trembles against me, her tears soaking my shirt. The mining industry’s dirty secrets—I’ve grown up with them, lived with them through my dad. But this? This is something else entirely.
“Half the properties with wells were contaminated,” she continues, voice hollow. “Emma’s place got the worst of it because she was closest to where the tailings seeped. She was literally being poisoned by trying to live sustainably.” She lets out this broken laugh that guts me. “The company paid some pathetic fine, fired their contractors, capped the contaminated wells, acted like that made everything okay. Like they hadn’t just destroyed lives with their shortcuts. And I… I didn’t do anything . I didn’t say goodbye.”
“It’s not your fault, Lex, you were a kid,” I can’t believe she even thinks she could’ve done anything.
She nods against my chest, but I can feel her tears soaking through my shirt. “I know. Logically, I know that. But sometimes... I should have noticed something was wrong, you know?”
“Yeah,” I murmur, thinking of Dad’s cough that we all ignored too long. “I get that.”
“After it happened, I was just... lost.” She pulls back, wiping her eyes. “But then I got angry. At these companies that think profit matters more than people. At the system that lets them get away with it.”
The fire in her eyes registers. This isn’t the Alex who color-codes her notes and grins at recycling bins. This is someone forged in loss, turned pain into purpose.
“That’s why I’m doing this,” she says fiercely. “Why I fight so hard. Because I couldn’t save Emma, but maybe I can stop it from happening to someone else’s Emma.”
“You’re fucking incredible,” I say before I can stop myself. “You know that?”
She blinks at me like I’ve lost it. “What?”
“I mean it.” My voice comes out rougher than intended. “Taking this shit and making it mean something? That’s... that’s fucking brave, Lex. Emma would be proud as hell.”
Fresh tears, but there’s something else there too—something that makes my chest tight. “You think?”
“I know.” I hold her gaze, needing her to believe this. “And you need to know it too. Repeat after me: I, Alexandria Ford, am a certified badass.”
She snorts, rolling her eyes. “Freddie, come on?—”
“Nuh-uh,” I cut her off. “Say it with your chest. I, Alexandria Ford, am a certified badass.”
She gives me that look—the one that says I’m being ridiculous but she kind of likes it. “I, Alexandria Ford, am a certified badass,” she mumbles.
“What was that? My grandmother shouts louder at bingo!” I bellow, not giving a shit if the whole parking lot hears. “Again!”
“I, ALEXANDRIA FORD, AM A CERTIFIED BADASS!”
Her hand claps over her mouth, eyes wide like she can’t believe that volume just came out of her. For a second, we just stare at each other. Then she snorts—actually snorts—and we both lose it.
The kind of laughter that makes your stomach hurt, that makes you forget why you were sad in the first place. Alex is practically wheezing, mascara smudged under her eyes, and she’s still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
Fuck.
“Oh my god,” she gasps, wiping her eyes. “I can’t believe you made me do that.”
“Hey, just speaking truth.” I’m grinning like an idiot and can’t seem to stop. “You’re the baddest ass I know, Lex. And if you ever forget it...” I tap her nose, making her scrunch up her face. “I’ll just have to remind you.”
Sitting here in my piece-of-shit car that smells like the popcorn we definitely weren’t supposed to have in here, watching Alex laugh with mascara streaked down her face, I realize I’m completely fucked. Because I’d do literally anything to keep her looking at me like this. To keep making her laugh like this. To just... keep her around.
And for a guy with fucking huge commitment issues? That’s terrifying as hell.