40. FORTY
FORTY
“Do you care to tell me what has been up with you?” Alex asks from his perch on my desk when I walk into my office this morning.
Of all the men I’ve been with, Alex, thankfully, isn’t one of them. He'd be it if I had to pick one person on this planet who could resemble a friend. We aren’t friends in a traditional way, but he is my confidante in many areas—along with being the best damn assistant in the state.
With perfectly coiffed blonde hair, dark blue eyes, and thick-framed red glasses, his five-foot-seven frame occupies virtually no space in my office. It’s his presence that makes the walls seem closer together.
And that fucking look in his eyes.
Carrying my to-go cup of coffee, I ignore his stare and set my briefcase beside my desk. His entire body swivels to follow me, and when I slump into my chair, scraping my nails over my scalp, he slaps his hands on the wooden desktop.
“You’ve missed countless meetings, are distracted constantly, and don’t think I haven’t noticed how frequently you check your phone. Not to mention that bizarre ‘favor’ you had me do. What. Is. Going. On?” he demands.
My entire body sags while I tuck my chin to my chest and pout like a toddler. “I’m fucking up.”
“How?”
I scrub at my face, sensing that my beard is too long, and blow out a breath. “I have a man living in my house.” His thin eyebrows arch above his glasses. It takes me a minute to spot the mascara darkening his lashes. “Are you wearing mascara?”
“The mailboy is into me. I know it ,” he defends hotly before scoffing. “Don’t change the subject. A man? What man?”
He knows that I keep my private life private, and he also knows the reason. Alex wholeheartedly disagrees with my lifestyle, but he respects it. And truthfully? I’ve been dying to tell anyone about what I’ve been doing.
A third-party insight might be helpful.
So, I tell him everything. Every pain-staking detail, all the while knowing I have a meeting with a potential new investor in thirty minutes. He listens to me while I purge the worst secret I’ve ever kept, and when I’m done, breathless and realizing the gravity of the situation, he simply blinks.
“I told you,” I sigh. “I’m fucking up.”
“Quite.”
I stare at him, waiting for more. Alex always has more to say. It takes a lot to render him speechless. Long seconds pass before he slowly slides off my desk, where he’s been sitting this whole time, and holds his hips.
“You do know you are doing more harm than good, right? A homeless man ? Seriously, Hunter?” he squawks. “I mean, of all the guys out there…of every single cock in this city…”
“It’s not about that ,” I defend, urgently, scared to death he will keep illuminating everything I already know. “I’m just trying to help him.”
“By telling him that he has to be your dirty secret and making him come in his pants. Twice.” He holds up his fingers, and I bury my face in my hands. “This is bad .” When I peek between the gaps, seeing him pace furiously, my heart sinks.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I didn’t think…I didn’t expect…”
“That you give a fuck? Newsflash. You don’t.”
I gape at him, horrified by his decree. “I do!”
“If you did, you would take him to a shelter, get him a therapist, and back the fuck off.”
Alex folds his arms, narrowing his eyes on me while my lips flap like a gaping fish. “I’m not keeping him in my house. He can go whenever he wants.”
“Go where? Hmm? Back to the street? Back to those people who’ve hurt him? Raped him?” His voice grows louder and angrier. “He has nothing! You made sure of it when you took him to your fucking house, Hunter!”
I jump from my chair, shushing him while rounding the desk. “Keep your voice down. Please .”
He nods. “I’m sorry. This is just…so very bad.”
“How do I fix this? How?” I’m begging, freaking out. Sick to my stomach because I know it’s all true. I’ve warped this entire thing into something neither of us can walk away from unscathed.
Gray wants me—he wants me badly. I want him too, but I can’t be what he needs.
Sure, I have the means to help him regarding certain resources. I can pay for whatever needs to be paid for. But it’s changed from a kind gesture into a full-blown infatuation. I care about Gray. Every day, I feel my heart beating faster for him.
“His appointment is on Monday?” Alex asks, his eyes drifting to the wall while he plots.
“Yes.”
“Take him to it, make sure he’s okay to be on his own, and then you take him to a shelter.”
“But I promised to help him.”
“That is helping him. A person like that needs to stand on their own two feet. He will resent you for making him codependent. He’s never had anyone before, and the longer he stays with you, the worse it’ll be when you pull the rug out from under him.”
It’s like a split down my spine, cracking me in half. My rational side sees the harsh truth, swallows that pill, and agrees entirely. The other side, the one that needs Gray, that worries and frets over his every move, refuses to accept it.
I don’t want him to be anywhere that I’m not. Period. End of.
“Fuck,” Alex barks when his alarm goes off. “Your nine o'clock is about to be here.”
I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat and running my hand over my button-down. “Alright. I’ll—”
“You’ll do what I am telling you to. When am I ever wrong?”
“Never,” I whisper.
“Exactly.” He walks over to me, gives me a brief hug, then disappears out through the door.
I straighten my spine, slip on my mask, and wait for my potential new investor.
Xavier Malone.
This man is a shark.
I spotted the signs when he walked into my office twenty minutes ago.
An investor should see the company for what it is, revel in how we operate, and want to be a part of it.
That’s the whole point of putting money into it.
But Xavier Malone only points out the flaws.
The way some of our accounts are teetering above red.
How my absence over the past few weeks has negatively impacted said accounts, and what do I plan on doing with it once I run for governor.
I don’t know how the fuck he knows that last part, but I tread carefully.
“It seems to me that you are in the market for more than an investor,” he says. The pungent rank of his cologne stinks up my entire office.
The man is well dressed, with dark hair and deep brown eyes.
With flashy jewelry and a watch that costs more than a car, his eggplant suit jacket parts more when he leans forward, flashing me a row of straight white teeth.
He’s attractive, well spoken, and carries himself like a king.
I want to know what empire he runs. Because two days ago, I’d never heard of the man.
“We are perfectly capable of settling the FlightCore account,” I say simply, ignoring his jab.
He smiles wider. “Of course.”
“And my political ambitions aside, we have infrastructures in place to assure that if my attention is placed elsewhere, the company will still operate as usual.”
A cocky smirk. “I’m sure it does. But rumor has it that OAT is scaring off clientele left and right. Especially after that nasty smear campaign on Ed.”
Only my dad’s close friends call him Ed —them and my mother. My hackles are rising, and goosebumps skate down my arms, but I remain still, keeping my mask of indifference firmly in place.
“As you said, it was a smear campaign. Political warfare that holds no merit here.”
“The senate says otherwise.” Now, the smile drops.
He drums his fingers over the armrest, studying my lack of reaction.
Lifting his left leg to drape over his right knee, he clicks his tongue.
“It would be in your best interest to consider selling entirely. Without your backers, OAT will quickly drown in debt. You aren’t the only supplier on the west coast, and with the tensions rising, I highly doubt that any reputable airline will want to work with a scheming bastard’s queer son. ”
At that, my mask cracks.
“Excuse me?” I snap, adjusting my tie to relieve some pressure on my throat.
“You heard me.” Another placating smile. “Think about it, Mr. Kade. You have my card.”
Who the fuck is this guy?
I watch him stand before I scramble to my feet. He might be threatening me, might know more than he has any right to, but I extend my hand regardless. Sliding his palm into mine, he uses his grip and tugs me forward. Peppermint hits my face, wafting off his breath as he looks me dead in the eye.
“I have a wide variety of investments, Mr. Kade—a wide variety. My resources are limitless, and my eyes are everywhere. You fuck with my investments, I will open the door hiding all those ugly secrets. Edward’s and yours.
” He slaps my shoulder, beams at me, then spins on his heel like he didn’t just threaten to eradicate life as I know it.