57. FIFTY-SEVEN
FIFTY-SEVEN
I have a list.
My mom helped me go over it until late at night, then she retired to my guest room. We talked for a long time before making the list, and even though I’m still hurt over her leaving, I feel the threads of our broken bond slowly weaving together.
I needed her today—more than I thought I would. Now, I’m out in my backyard, braving the frost and snow while smoking to look at the half-finished art on my wall.
I can see where he was going with it, how beautiful it’d become when finished, but in a way, it’s symbolic.
I only ever gave half to him.
Gray gave me everything he had.
His trust. His body. His love.
I don’t deserve it. I didn’t earn it, either. But unfortunately, I am a Kade, and Kade men are selfish.
I couldn’t see it before—didn’t even want to—but now that I’m looking with open eyes, I can feel the change taking form. All that I have to do fuels me to look past the wreckage that my father created inside me.
I look away from the wall to pull out my cellphone.
Opening my photo gallery, I find the pictures I took weeks ago of the sketchy house.
The one Xavier’s men deal out of. I email them to myself for safekeeping, then scroll up to the most recent picture.
The one I sent to myself from Gray’s phone while he slept.
I want it to be real.
It will be, sweetheart.
I attach it to a text, typing a response to his question. It’s probably too late—he probably wants nothing to do with me after what I’ve done—but I have to try.
Better late than never.
Isn’t that the saying?
Sweetheart: Why did you give me the opportunity?
Because you gave me one first.
If someone had told me two months ago that I’d be waiting in Grant O’Connell’s office for a meeting, I would have told you that you were insane. I would’ve bristled over the insinuation—abhored you for labeling me a traitor against my father.
Well, after another sleepless night, too much caffeine, and the horror stories of my father’s years as a pisspoor husband and manipulative father, I guess I am a traitor.
A proud one, too.
I’m downtown, in a building close to City Hall, and the blasts of color throughout the office are stark in contrast to the drab, stuffy beiges in my dad’s.
Pride flags, along with several others, hang off nearly every wall, revolving around equality or other movements.
It’s like being sucked into another world.
I’m not afraid of it, either.
Straightening my posture, I glance down at my casual wear, and I'm happy I decided against the suit.
I might just burn them all once this is all said and done.
A throat clears, and I snap my head over toGrant’s door.
He stands there, all golden skin, sparkling ember eyes, and fluffy brown hair that’s perfectly coifed.
His suit is tailored, black with lilac accents.
The polka dot tie is a bit odd, but Grant screams individuality, so I’m not too surprised by the bold choice.
I stand up, walk over, and extend my hand. He shakes it easily.
“Hunter Kade, a pleasure."
“Likewise.”
He eyes my jeans with a knowing smile before gesturing I go inside his office room. “Please, have a seat.”
I only get three steps into the room before a familiar form comes into my sight.
Reclining on a tasteful black leather sofa in the far corner of the room, near the window overlooking City Hall, sits Xavier fucking Malone.
He’s in a pinstripe suit, sleek black loafers, and has a chained pocket watch he’s dangling from his fingers.
My feet skid to a halt.
“What…I was under the impression this meeting would be between us,” I mutter, my eyes bouncing between them.
I want to get in that prick's face. Scream at him for blowing a hole in my life, for fucking me over and stealing the company I’ve poured my blood sweat and tears into right out from under me.
But I don’t. I take a breath, hold it, and wait for an explanation.
“Mr. Kade,” Xavier coos, a wolfish grin on his face. “How nice to see you.”
Bristling, I look to Grant instead. The man smooths his suit jacket and leans against his desk. “Please excuse me for…misleading you. We knew you’d reach out but didn’t think it’d be this…soon.”
Xavier stands, walks over to Grant, and slides his arm around the candidate's waist. My eyes widen a fraction, but I remain silent. What the hell is this? “What my lover isn’t saying is that we set you up.”
“That’s not what we—”
“You did what?” I snap. My patience is thinning, and I’m so confused I want to scream. My nerves are already frayed, I’m exhausted— “You set me up?”
Grant sighs delicately before clearing his throat. “Edward Kade cannot run for the Senate. That’s what this is all leading up to.”
“You…what?” I’m flabbergasted and slightly appalled.
“The governor is a monster,” Xavier says simply, looking at his watch as if this is a boring conversation. “Since I can’t get rid of him the old-fashioned way, we are trying Grant’s political route. Slander, bribery, and blackmail.”
Grant sighs again before glaring at his… what the fuck is happening! “You outed me to my father and OAT’s CEO to…do what? How could you do this? How could you out a person?” I demand, staring right into Grant’s eyes.
“He already knew. Everyone in our circles did.”
I feel faint. I have to grab a hold of the chair nearest me so I don’t fall over. “What?”
“Edward Kade knew you were queer long before we ever did. And the only way to get to him was to go through you. Unfortunately.” Xavier is not remorseful at all. He fucking shrugs like it had to be done and I should just get over it.
“Stop being so harsh,” Grant scolds him.
“We had to pull back the curtain. You were always going to cover for your dad’s crimes.
And the media loves you—the prodigal son walking in his father’s footsteps, who can do no wrong.
As long as he had you in his corner, the facts would only be seen as a rumor or at best, a candidacy tactic. ”
“I came here to help you put him in jail. Him! Not my dad!” I point at Xavier. “He’s a drug lord abusing his wealth by enlisting the minority to sell his products!”
Grant simply stares at me. “And I’m here to give OAT back to you.”
My hand flies to my hair as I start to pace. “This is insane.”
“Help us stop him, and I’ll make sure OAT is yours. For good.”
“I don’t fucking want it!” I roar. “I want him in jail and my dad ruined!”
“Tell him,” Xavier says with a dramatic sigh and an eyeroll.
“Xavier Malone is a made-up name. He doesn’t exist. Xavier Ramirez is my fiancé and is part of a task force infiltrating the local drug rings, under the guise of being a top supplier.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake."
“It’s true,” Grant insists.
I study the man still holding Grant’s waist. He is patiently waiting for me to agree to their terms. “We are trying to find their source, apprehend them, and stop it from entering the state. But that’s a story for another time. What we need from you, Hunter, is cooperation.”
“So you just ruin my life only to make it all better two days later?” I growl.
“Did we ruin it, though?” Xavier cocks his head. “Or relieve you of dead weight?”
I take a breath, and go to scratch at my beard, but hit smooth skin. Right. I shaved. “The man in those photos. Grayson Parker. He’s your lover?”
I glare at Grant. “None of your fucking business.”
“He’s a felon.”
“I said,” I step up to him, “it’s none of your fucking business.”
Xavier straightens. “It is our business because there’s surveillance footage of him robbing a gas station the night before last.”
“What?”
“Up by Old Barrel diner.”
Grant nods. “Xavier knows the sheriff on the case. They’re looking for him. But one word from Xavier, one favor , and that goes away. As it stands now, Grayson has a warrant for his arrest for breaking his parole. Since this isn’t his first offense, he could go away for years.”
Slander.
Bribery.
Blackmail.
It doesn’t matter what side you’re on, blue or red, democrat or republican, all politicians are the same. All of them. And to think I was going to give up everything to become one of these pricks. To do this shit for the rest of my life.
I hate how they are using me to get their way, and I can’t stand that I’m even considering it for a second, but I have no one else to turn to. OAT isn’t my dream, but it provides me a steady salary, and I’m not the only one relying on good management to keep it afloat.
Alex depends on it. All the other employees.
Even if OAT wasn’t on the table, the fact that they’re offering to help Gray and remove my dad from running for Senate is enough to have me blowing out a breath in defeat.
“You’ll get the sheriff to look the other way? Erase the warrant?”
Xavier examines his cuticles. “I can.”
“But will you?”
A slow drag of his eyes up to mine. “I will.”
"The man who assaulted Gray. He works for you. Dan is his name. He and his friends need to be taken off the street."
Xavier clicks his tongue. "I'm aware."
"Do something about it then," I snap. My mind is racing with everything that needs to be handled, so I keep going. “And my father? What will happen to him?”
Grant threads his fingers together. “We will anonymously leak the drive to the media with everything about you and Gray removed. When I make my statement, after this information hits the air, I expect you to be by my side. After it all settles…we can go our separate ways.”
“You want me to publicly disown my dad, is what you’re asking of me.”
Grant nods. “Exactly. Like I said before—the prodigal son.”
“What about my mother? She…she isn’t involved in his problems.”
The two men exchange a glance. “Her abortion is in the file. We can remove it.”
“You will remove it,” I counter.
Xavier grunts, then nods. “Of course. Do we have a deal, then?"
I think about everything I’ve been through.
All the years of hating who I was, hiding it, and hoping for just a scrap of love from my dad.
Every time I had to turn someone away because it was stepping out of the safe sexual box and into intimate territory—every sleepless night I spent stressing over what I would do if I ever got found out… it all slams into me like a tidal wave.
And then there’s Gray.
Beautiful, brave, Gray.
I know what choice he’d make. I even know what he’d say. If I do this, though, there’s no going back. Any hope of getting back into my dad’s good graces will be eradicated.
I’ll be disowned. I won’t have a dad.
Part of Gray’s and my argument flashes through my skull, reminding me once again why I’m here—why I am choosing me .
“You have been doing this for fifteen years! Do you fucking hear yourself? You want to hide me just to make your dad happy? The dad who manipulates you—who doesn’t give a fuck about you?”
I take a breath, meet Grant’s eyes, and extend my hand. “Yeah. We have a fucking deal.”