44. Noah
“I’m sorry, Noah. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Why did people keep apologizing after kissing me?
Okay, so it had only happened twice. But two times was too many when it was both of the people you fucking adored.
Greyson flicked his cautious gaze over my face before looking down at the carpeted hallway. His neck bobbed as he swallowed over and over, yanking at his tie. If he pulled that thing any tighter, he was going to strangle himself.
The question I needed to ask sat heavy on my tongue, erasing the taste of his kiss and replacing it with something bitter. Something that made me nauseous. A pit tried to form in my stomach, but I cleared my throat and steeled myself for whatever was coming.
“Why are you sorry?”
He looked at me with wild eyes, dropping his hand from the tie in favor of shoving his fist in his pocket. “Because…”
I watched him go through about five different stages of acceptance before he left the safety of the wall and stepped back into my space.
“Because it wasn’t supposed to be like that. I wasn’t thinking. You…you’re not an experiment and I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, Noah. I just wanted to and you were right there, but we weren’t—and I don’t know. I don’t know anything.”
Greyson was rambling.
Greyson Wolfe, master of fucking calm, cool and distant was rambling because he kissed me.
He pulled off his glasses.
Rubbed at the back of his neck.
Started pacing back and forth.
He was stressed. Because of me.
That shouldn’t have given me as much satisfaction as it did. My best friend, who was always so fucking together, was falling apart because of a kiss that lasted two seconds.
Pressing my lips together, I tried to quiet the laugh rumbling in my chest, but I failed when my lips kept twitching. He heard my muffled snicker and his eyes shot to me.
“Why are you laughing?” Greyson wanted to know.
“Because I’ve never seen you act like this, that’s why.”
“Oh.” He stopped pacing. Put his glasses back on. Looked me up and down. “You’re not mad?”
“Mad at you for what, Grey?”
“For kissing you,” he supplied, his words cautious.
“Didn’t I kiss you back?”
“Yea…” He looked calmer now, less like he was about to make a run for it.
“Then there’s nothing to be sorry about.”
Greyson’s hand found the back of my neck and he pulled my forehead against his, whispering his next words. “It was still reckless,” he reasoned. “Anybody could have walked by and saw me kissing you. You’re my employee, technically.”
“ Technically ,” I breathed, nudging his nose with mine until he let out a shallow sigh that fanned over my face. He moved less than an inch and the hair above his top lip tickled my skin.
He was going to kiss me again. I was going to let him.
In the next second, Greyson’s lips crashed into mine, and my mouth opened in reply to his silent command. His tongue traced over the shape of my lips, licking and tasting until he pushed it inside of my mouth.
Too much was happening for me to keep calm, but I tried, damn it.
He kissed me in hungry spells, massaging my tongue with his before breaking the connection and resting his forehead against mine without a word. He just stared at me, like he was trying to convince himself this was real before kissing me again. And again.
I heard at least two doors open and close. I knew he heard it too. But he didn’t stop kissing me and I didn’t want him to.
“I have to stop,” he managed hoarsely, pecking me twice in the span of four words. “We have to stop.”
He said that, but we didn’t stop, and I smiled against his mouth every time his voice grew raspier.
“We have to stop.” Kiss. “We have to talk about this.”
We didn’t stop. We didn’t talk about this. But we did kiss until I felt drunk on it. His tongue stroked mine until my dick was pressed against my zipper, needy for the attention my mouth was getting.
Fuck .
It was me. I was the one to pull away. Because at the end of the day, we were still at work. And at the end of the day, just because he kissed me didn’t mean my dick was invited to the party. I needed to get my shit together.
With my hand touching my lips, I stumbled away from him, until my back hit the wall behind me and it felt like I could breathe again.
Greyson did the same thing on the opposite wall.
It was like we’d put ourselves in timeout and I was fighting the urge to walk back over to him and kiss him again. This time with my hand wrapped around his neck and my tongue invading his mouth.
My eyes fell from Greyson’s face at the worst possible time because I caught him running a hand over the front of his pants, trying to conceal his hard on.
At least it wasn’t just me…
“I’ve wanted to do that for weeks.” He stared at me with a small frown, choosing his words carefully. “I’ve wanted you to know that I wanted to do that for weeks.”
His voice sounded strained, uncomfortable. But I wasn’t going to interrupt him when it was already taking so much out of him. If I stopped him, he might never trust me to start talking again. And I wanted him to trust me. With everything. Especially his feelings for me.
“I don’t know what any of it means. I thought I was straight. But then we met True. And the three of us were always together. And I always wanted it to be like that. I knew I wanted her, but I knew I wanted you too. I’ve never been attracted to another man, Noah. I don’t know.”
Those last three words were a refrain. He didn’t know and he was still trying to explain it, to make sense of it so I knew he wasn’t just fucking around.
My heart expanded every time he fumbled over his words.
Greyson’s breath was ragged as he smoothed a hand over his jaw. “I couldn’t get it to make sense. I called my fucking dad.”
I pushed out a dry laugh. “What did he say?”
“That I was too caught up in the label for what I was feeling and that I should allow myself to feel it and see where it goes…”
I never got to ask him a follow up question because a wide-eyed young woman rounded the corner and she looked relieved when she caught a glimpse of me.
Lori. The bartender.
“Noah, thank God. I know you’ve shown me a million times before but something is going on with the fridge and we have guests downstairs who want?—”
Her eyes darted between me and Greyson, and her spine went straighter when she realized she was in his presence.
“I’m sorry.”
Greyson waved her off, silently telling me to go with a simple look.
So, I threw my arms around her shoulders and steered the newest seasonal employee back to the staircase.
“Calm down, Lori. Let’s go downstairs. Show me what you’re talking about so I can fix it.”
Every step I took away from Greyson felt like a splinter in my chest, but I told myself we would finish talking at home. I just hoped he was still willing to talk by then.