54. True
I stared at the tobacco stick star my grandmother had just pulled out of my aunt’s ancient suitcase. I’d been here with her all day, sifting through the old Christmas decorations that had been left in my cabin. I’d put most of them up under her supervision, but now we were down to this star and a wad of colorful string lights that had seen better days.
Ruby Jean took one look at the tangled lights and huffed. “Oh, we’ll leave those for your grandfather. And I’ll put this star in the kitchen.”
Giggling, I turned around the living room, amazed at how much it had changed in a single day.
The nativity scene on top of the coffee table, the lights draped over the mantle, the garland twisted around the light fixtures. It all screamed Christmas and decorating had managed to put me in the spirit, despite how I felt when Noah dropped me off.
“So, what you planning to do, lady bug? You gone run home?”
“I’m not running, grandma,” I said, hating how dejected my voice sounded.
I hadn’t vented to my grandma about last night. Not really, anyway. But I had called my mother and told her I was thinking about coming to King’s Town earlier than the Christmas visit I had planned, and she overheard it all.
“That’s what you said. You said that boy thought you were running and then you called and told your mama you were going home.”
“He thinks I’m running because he didn’t let me get a word in while he was driving me here,” I pointed out. Noah had talked ten minutes straight after telling me I wasn’t driving my car anywhere on this mountain. He threw my suitcase in the back of his truck and told me over and over that he didn’t want me to leave because of him. Halfway through our trip to my grandparents’ house, he got a call and he was on the phone with her until we pulled up in their yard.
We never got a chance to actually talk and I wasn’t mad at that because I didn’t know if I had it in me to play nice while my feelings were still hurt.
He didn’t want me to leave but he didn’t want me to stand up for him either. And the problem was I would never agree to that because I loved him too much.
I loved him and Greyson and my head hadn’t caught up with my heart yet. Admitting I loved one of them was enough. But both of them? When I was supposed to be leaving Bliss Peak in January? Unacceptable.
Sighing, I rubbed at my temples and regarded my grandmother. She was watching me with pursed lips and a knowing look.
“I’m not running,” I repeated. “I just need a break.” A reprieve. A breather. Away from my feelings and away from the men who had put me in them.
Ruby Jean looked at me with understanding etched across her face. I couldn’t tell if she empathized with me or felt pity for me. “So that’s it? You gone up and leave every time somebody get on your nerves?”
“I don’t know what I’m doing and it scares me. I wasn’t supposed to leave here in love with a man. And now I’m in love with two.” I think I’d fallen in love with them before we ever agreed to be together. I should have seen it coming, but denial made me feel like I was invincible.
Her forehead creased at the hitch in my voice, she closed the space between us and pulled me into her arms when I kept wringing my hands. “Why you gotta know everything? Why can’t you just make peace with some things not making sense and enjoy them anyway?”
“Because I don’t live here, grandma. Even if I don’t leave today, I’m leaving eventually.”
“That’s written in stone somewhere?” she asked, rubbing my back. “You can write books from anywhere. And I guarantee you neither one of them men is gonna let you get far. They love you, lady bug.”
I pulled away from her with my eyes bucked.
“Oh.” She feigned sheepishness. “You ain’t figured that one out yet, huh?”
Silence ate up any response I wanted to give. Whether they loved me or not, there was still so much up in the air. If this was how we acted after a simple argument…my grandmother’s voice cut in, derailing my thoughts.
“Listen, I know you got a notebook somewhere full of everything you want to happen for the next however many years, and I know falling in love with two men won’t nowhere on it. But you telling me that just because you didn’t see it coming, it ain’t good?”
“No ma’am.”
She nodded vigorously, engulfing me in her embrace again. “If the past year taught you anything, it should have taught you that things don’t go according to plan and that’s okay. Think about all the plans your sister had that never got to happen. Enjoy what you got in front of you right now, lady bug. The rest will figure itself out.”
The rest will figure itself out. Those words gave me more hope than I felt all day, and I beamed at the woman in front of me.
“You might know what you’re talking about after all, Ruby Jean.”
“Oh, gone on somewhere.” She swatted teasingly at my arm and shuffled away from me, picking up her cane from its resting place against the arm of the sofa. I kept my eyes on her until she was safely in her recliner with Lady at her feet.
To prove a point—to myself and her—I pulled my phone out of my pocket.
All five notifications on my screen were from Greyson in the past hour, but my phone had been on DND.
“I’ll call him after I take care of this,” I muttered to myself. Swiping past his notifications, I pulled up an empty text thread and typed in a name for a number I’d finally gotten this week.
Me:
Hey, Goldy. Can I ask you a favor?
Her text back was immediate, the grey bubbles disappearing as soon as they appeared because she typed so fast.
Goldyn:
Anything
Me:
Can I host a book launch party at Read the Room next spring?
I chewed the inside of my cheek, waiting for her reply. If I finished the book in January, I could have it edited and ready for release by April. Right?
Grey bubbles bounced. And bounced some more. Then her message came through.
Goldyn:
Next spring? Next spring like when? March? April?
Me:
April
A flurry of texts came in while I weighed my impulsive decision. If I committed to April, I had to actually be here in April. I glanced at my phone, laughing at the texts popping up one after another.
Goldyn:
Omg
Yes
It’s my first author event at the store
This is going to be so fun
Omg I have to tell Sincere. And Rome. And Enzo.
You just made my whole day
I feel official now. I have a bookstore and events happen there
oh my fucking god. Where are you? We should get drinks to celebrate
Even through the phone, her excitement was contagious. Unable to help myself, I smiled at my screen, fingers flying over the keyboard.
Me:
I’m at my grandparents house
Goldyn:
You up for drinks at Lucky’s? I can come get you in 20
After agreeing to drinks, I tossed my phone on the counter and ran to the bathroom to touch up my makeup, text messages from Greyson forgotten while I rushed to get ready.
An hour later, I sat at a booth for four with Goldyn, babysitting the same whiskey Coke I asked for when I walked in.
“Not that it matters, I wanna have your event at my shop either way, but why can’t I find anything when I search True St. John? Are you a debut author? Did I somehow miss that when we talked at the store? Or do you have a pen name? I tota?—”
“Goldyn,” I interjected, laughing softly at her never-ending string of questions.
“Sorry, I’m excited.” She looked sheepish and sipped her drink.
“It’s okay. I write under Roxanne Sapphire, that’s why you couldn’t find anything under my name.”
Her eyes swelled and she cocked her head. “What?”
“I—”
Goldyn didn’t let me finish, which shouldn’t have been a surprise at this point. “I’ve read your books. You’ve seen me read your books. And your grandma. Oh my god, she’s such a sneak. She was the one who recommended your books to me a few months ago and I read them all in a week.”
There were only five books in my catalog, but knowing she read everything I published in a week still made me giddy.
It looked like Goldyn was about to hit me with another round of questions before someone stopped by our booth and pulled our attention away from each other.
Dread settled low in my belly as Goldyn beamed up at Noah’s sister. “Lottie! Hi. Sit with us.”
Kind eyes landed on me before she accepted the invitation. “Are you sure I’m not interrupting?”
“Of course not.” I smiled, hoping it wasn’t as tight as it felt. “Come have a drink with us.”
Since our coats were beside me, taking up the other half of my side of the booth, Lottie slid in beside Goldyn.
She put in her drink order and turned her gaze on me. “I’m sorry we didn’t get to see more of each other at the reception last night. I was looking forward to getting to know the woman my brother is crazy about. I went looking for you, but my parents told me y’all left in a hurry. Is everything okay?”
Sipping my watered down drink, I held her gaze and lied through my teeth. “Yea. I wasn’t feeling well so we left.”
Goldyn looked concerned, but Lottie’s expression was knowing.
“Got it. Well, we’ll have to get together another time. Somewhere where it’s just us and not forty of my extended family members.”
Before it could get more awkward, Lottie steered the conversation away from our Irish goodbye and pulled something out of her purse. “I was gonna drive to the resort to give this to Noah, but since you’re neighbors, maybe you can give it to him?” She pushed a box of tea across the table.
A quick glance at the label told me it helped with insomnia and I nodded, putting it in my purse.
The three of us fell into an easy conversation after that, and just when I felt like I could finally exhale, my eyes locked with a man walking through the door.
Glasses.
Grey suit.
And his coat opened just enough for me to see his suspenders.
He shouldered his way past a few people and stopped on the other side of the bar, staring at me.
Greyson .
Lottie and Goldyn had their backs to him so he let his gaze linger on me, unmoving and uninterrupted.
The smirk playing at his lips wasn’t exactly playful. It was menacing. Like he was a predator who’d just spotted his prey.
And I wasn’t helping anything with this bright ass red sweater on. I was the perfect target, just waiting here like a sitting duck, unable to tear my eyes away from him.
He started walking toward the booth, but before he got within a few feet, I stood up and excused myself. “Sorry, ladies. I need to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
I didn’t wait for a response and I don’t know if they gave me one because I was moving faster than my feet could carry me to the back of the bar. Greyson fell in stride beside me when I passed him, but didn’t say a word until we were alone in the hallway.
Then he had me against the wall, his arms caging me in while his eyes ran over my face.
“I’ve been calling you for the past two hours, Red.”
Shit. The messages. I forgot. “Did something happen? Why are you?—”
“You left this morning with a suitcase. And you haven’t returned my calls or messages all day. That sounds like more than something , Red.”
His hand cupped the side of my face and tipped my chin up, redirecting my gaze to his face when it fell to the thick column of his neck.
“My eyes are up here, Red.”
Biting the inside of my cheek, I resisted a smile and rolled my eyes instead. “The suitcase was full of Christmas decorations for my grandma.”
“Then why does Noah think you’re leaving us?”
“Because he wouldn’t let me talk.” I swallowed, my eyes dipping to his lips at the exact moment he decided to lick them. “Just…a…misunderstanding,” I trailed, consumed by his closeness. His scent, the heat of his presence, the intensity of his unyielding attention. I didn’t know what it was about this man and his love for cornering me in tight spaces, but I’d be lying if I said I hated it.
The smooth pad of Greyson’s thumb dragged across my bottom lip, making me part my mouth on instinct. “You and Noah are going to be the fucking death of me.”
The combination of his hoarse voice and his rough touch sent desire coursing through me. If it wasn’t for my tights, I’d have a mess on my thighs. I could not see anything but Greyson. I didn’t want to. And when he lowered his head to kiss me, I held my breath.
“Tell your friends you’re leaving,” he commanded against my lips before straightening.
“Greyson,” I whined, pushing off the wall to get closer to him.
He smirked at me and it was triumphant as he watched me glower at him. “What’s wrong, Red?”
That voice was too soft. Too sweet for somebody taunting me and withholding kisses.
“I want your mouth on me,” I said without hesitation. My pride had left the conversation a long time ago when it came to this man.
All he did was grasp my chin again and I felt like I was falling apart at the seams.
“Then go tell your friends you’re leaving.”