Chapter Thirty-Six - Blaire
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Blaire
The drive down the rest of the Rile Ranch driveway feels like a funeral procession. And we’re escorting the dead dream of our life together to its grave.
No one has said a thing. But not saying anything doesn’t make it any less true.
This is no life for a teenage girl. Kaylee can’t come back to this. I won’t let her.
I head straight to my bedroom to pack my bags, fearing that I’ll lose my conviction if I don’t.
I fling open the closet and pull everything out at once, throwing it on the bed.
“What the hell are you doing?” Reese says, and to my shock, starts taking my clothes and hanging them back in the closet.
“You’re joking, right?” I stare at him slack-jawed. “You saw them, Reese. I can’t expose you guys to this. Kaylee gets home tomorrow!”
He starts pacing. Colt slams his fist against the wall in frustration, obviously accepting the reality before Reese can. Briggs sits down on the bed with his head in his hands .
“You can’t leave, Blaire.” Reese stills, looking at me with a wild desperation. I fight the tears fogging my vision.
“Well, I can’t stay!” I throw my suitcase on the ground and begin throwing my clothes in haphazardly. “You think what you just saw is bad? It will only get worse.”
“It will die down, eventually. It has to.” Colt says through gritted teeth. I can tell the suggestion physically hurts him. Because he knows it’s the wrong thing for Kaylee. He has so steadfastly put her first in their life, and he’s done an amazing job. He knows that it’s the wrong choice to let me stay.
“It won’t.” I shake my head. “They’ll find out what’s going on between us and it will be another circus. Kaylee’s entire life will be chaos. They’ll harass her at school. They’ll interview her classmates. She’ll never have privacy again. I can’t live with myself if I’m the cause of that.”
“We’ll talk to her,” Briggs lifts his head. “We can figure something out together. She wants us to be happy. She loves you, Blaire.” He inhales sharply. “We love you.”
I can’t see a damn thing now. Tears flood my vision. I run to the bathroom to blow my nose.
I take a deep breath and collect myself. The more I think about it, the more I know I’m right. If there’s one thing I can do for them, it’s this. It’s saving them from the misery that has overcome my entire life. I pack my toiletries and steady myself before heading back out to the bedroom.
I’m no longer their Blaire. I’m playing a part now. Because the real Blaire would be in a puddle on the floor right now, sobbing.
“I’m really thankful for all you’ve done for me,” I say with a sharp inhale.
They all look back at me like I’ve lost my damn mind. But before they can say anything, the sound of tires on gravel sounds outside .
“Who the hell is that?” Colt says, going to the door.
“I texted Patricia the second we got to Rile Ranch. She’s here with a team of bodyguards. I’ll make sure that everyone outside the gates knows I’m leaving, so they’ll follow me. There might be a few reporters around town asking questions for a couple more days, but eventually, they’ll all leave you alone.”
“Blaire, if you walk out of our lives right now, then that’s it. We can’t keep losing you. We can’t.” Reese’s voice catches and my heart threatens to stop beating.
“I know,” I nod softly when I collect myself. My voice is barely a whisper.
I’ve known all along that I’ve already had my second chance and that I won’t get a third.
But it’s my turn to take care of them. Even if that means leaving their lives forever.
The chauffeur grabs my bags as soon as I’m out of the house. He opens the door to the large black SUV as identical cars on either side start their engines. It’s a three-car motorcade only to get me to the airport. And it’s a bitter reminder of how out of place my life really is here. I was always just pretending, but the difference was that I even fooled myself. It was never going to work. And wanting it more than anything else in the world doesn’t change that.
I thought I felt more like myself here, but it was just the opposite. Because whether I like it or not, this is the real me. A spectacle.
“You enjoy your vacation?” Patricia asks pleasantly as I slide into my seat. I want to scream at her. I want to tear my hair out and make her watch. I want to do anything to get that smug look of satisfaction off of her face.
But this isn’t about me. The sooner I leave, the better off everyone in this town is .
“Blaire,” Briggs’ voice catches my attention right before I close the door. “I think you’re making a huge mistake. But I’m not going to let you go without this, even though you didn’t finish your work here. Your Gram wouldn’t have wanted you leaving without it.”
I give him a sorrowful smile. “Thank you,” my voice is barely a whisper. Of course, I know what it is. And I’m glad he gave it to me now. Because this is probably my last time in Solace Springs.
He nods, his eyes growing desperate as I take a cream-colored envelope from him and close the door.
My stomach lurches with grief as we start moving.
The outline of the Rile Ranch sign creeps up along the view through my tinted window. As soon as we cross the barrier, I roll my window down and wave. I widen my eyes, an instinct I developed as a kid, to overcompensate for all the flashes that blind my vision.
My plan works. The motorcycles and cars parked outside the ranch have doubled since we arrived. They all start their engines when they see me. As we move, they swarm us like flies on a dead carcass.
As soon as I’m confident that I’ve done all I can do, I rip open the envelope Briggs handed me.
This better have damn well been worth it, Gram, or you just upended a lot of lives for no reason.
Immediately, I’m overtaken by the smell of Gram’s perfume and it’s the knockout punch to my already fragile composure. Tears fall before I even start reading the damn thing. I move my body so that Patricia can’t see me. I need this moment to myself. I clear my eyes with my shirt and read.
My Dear Blaire,
What can a little old lady like me give to a worldwide superstar?
Well, I can think of many things.
Hollywood has gotten more of you than I have, and I don’t blame you one bit for that, my star. In fact, I’m in awe of the life you’ve created for yourself. But I want you to have something of mine that you can’t get in Hollywood… the truth.
It’s an ugly truth though, and you’ve seen enough ugly truth for a lifetime. So I decided to coat it with some sugar, just like I did when giving your stubborn little self some medicine.
So here’s some sugar. If you fulfilled my wishes, then you’ve spent some good quality time at the ranch with the entire Rile family.
I grimace. Gram didn’t know their parents passed away. Of course not, it happened the week of her funeral. My stomach twists, thinking that maybe I’ll never get the entire story. I read on.
Hope and Dennis Rile are as good as they come. But likely you won’t spend too much time with them because I know you and you never could stay too far away from the Rile boys. They’re good people, too, just like their parents raised them to be.
And I really need you to know what good people are. I need you to know that they exist, truly. And that you shouldn’t settle for anyone else. I’ve seen the parties and the glamourous peers you spend your time with. And I bet that’s all very exciting. But do they make you feel safe? Do they see you for you? Because the people of Solace Springs did that for me when I needed it most. And my biggest hope is that you’re reading this letter knowing exactly what I’m talking about because you experienced it, too.
Now for the bitter part. I wasn’t a good mother to your mother. And I believe she, in turn, hasn’t been a good mother to you. It’s no excuse. I just want you to know that it’s not your fault she turned out the way that she did. That doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be held accountable. It just means that it’s not your fault. It’s taken me my entire life to admit this to myself, and I don’t want to waste another life by not making it clear to you.
This last request is a big one. I know it’s putting a lot of pressure on you, but here goes. I beg of you, break this wicked cycle. You already have the fame I was chasing instead of being the mother I should have been. You already have the money your mother has always been chasing. But neither of those things means a damn thing if you’re not right with yourself. Do whatever you need to do and do it right. If anyone can do it, it’s you. Especially if you’re surrounded by some good people.
I love you forever, my star.
Love, Gram
Well, damn it, Gram. Tears fall in heavy streams down my face.
What the hell am I supposed to do with this?