Chapter 34
Kaden
It’s a Monday evening, and just over twenty-four hours since the truth about me was ripped into the open. Twenty-four hours since Hope cut me off completely like I no longer exist to her. I’ve left voicemails. Sent text after text. Each one has been swallowed by silence.
I haven’t slept much. All I can think about is the look of betrayal and devastation on her face just before the door closed, cutting her from view, an image now etched so deeply into my memory that I know it will haunt me for years.
I had planned to tell her everything that day.
The decision was made long before I even reached her house.
I knew I couldn’t keep lying to her anymore.
I couldn’t keep pretending it didn’t exist. But then Adrian appeared and outed me before I had the chance to ease Hope into the conversation—to soften the blow, though I doubt it would have changed anything.
One look at her face was proof enough: no matter how I approached it, the outcome would have been the same—her shattered trust, her pain, and her decision to want nothing to do with me ever again.
Now here I am, sitting alone in my living room, an unopened bottle of bourbon I got on the way home from work, dangling loosely from my fingers.
The television stares back at me, blank and lifeless, a reflection to how I feel in this moment.
I let myself sit here, unmoving, until the numbness finally cracks, and when it does, everything hits at once.
They tear through me in a violent shockwave as I raise the bottle, my inner demons murmuring words of temptation.
But there’s another voice, softer, whispering at the back of my mind, the one that reminds me how far I’ve come, how much progress I’ve made, and that I can get through this, just like I have before.
My subconscious is at war with itself—two sides fighting for control, each desperate to bend my next move to its will.
Just pop the lid, one voice coaxes smoothly. Let the cool, bitter burn slide down your throat and numb the ache. You deserve the relief.
Don’t, the other cuts in, strained but firm. You’re better than this, Kaden. The buzz is only temporary. The fallout isn’t.
But at least, the first whispers again, softer now, you wouldn’t have to feel anything for a while. Just one sip, that’s all it takes.
My thumb grazes the lid, the urge to twist it open thundering through me.
I close my eyes and force myself to listen.
Name five things you can hear right at this moment. Dr. Carroll’s voice filters through the noise.
...birds chirping just beyond the balcony.
...cars passing on the street below.
...muted voices drifting from somewhere down the hallway.
...the steady vibration of the fridge.
...my heartbeat—loud, and insistent.
The urge loosens its grip but doesn’t fully let go, so I run through the exercise again, this time listing five new sounds to anchor me.
I force myself to focus harder, the moment stretching longer, so long that I don’t even realise I’ve set the bottle down on the coffee table, my attention shifting from what’s in my hand to what’s around me.
Suddenly, a knock at the door breaks my concentration. My eyes fly open, and I’m on my feet in an instant, crossing the room to answer it, the bottle of bourbon already forgotten.
Jason stands just outside my door, worry written across his features, probably replaying our last phone call from earlier today while I was at work.
“Oh, thank God you’re home. I’ve been trying to call you, but you weren’t answering.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. It was on silent and charging in my room,” I explain, stepping aside to let him in.
He walks in, and I close the door behind him. He follows me into the living room, his gaze immediately landing on the bottle of bourbon on the coffee table. He doesn’t comment or ask why it’s there—he glances at me for a few seconds before settling into the armchair across from me.
“You didn’t have to stop by, Jase.”
“Well, after hearing my best mate upset and hurting over the phone, of course I had to check on you.”
“Thanks, man. You’re a good friend. But I’ll be fine. It’s not the first time I’ve broken someone’s trust and had them walk away,” I admit with a humourless chuckle. “Seems I have a knack for hurting the people I care about, and it’s not exactly a talent I’m proud of.”
“She probably just needs a little space to process everything. I’m sure that once she’s calmer, she’ll want to talk and listen to what you have to say.”
“Maybe… I don’t know,” I murmur softly, dragging a hand over my face. “If you’d seen the look in her eyes yesterday, you’d think she was repulsed by me.” I shake my head, trying to cast the memory aside. “I don’t know if she’ll ever trust me completely.”
“It may seem that way now, but if you can show her that you’re nothing like the man you used to be—that you’ve changed and are working hard every day to be a better person. I’m sure you can earn her trust and forgiveness.”
“For that to happen, she has to want to see me first.”
“So do whatever you can to see that it happens.”
“I’m trying, but she won’t answer my calls or texts. If I show up at her place, she’ll just tell me to leave, and I don’t want to cause a scene in front of Zac. I don’t know what else I can do to get through to her.”
“You’re a smart, creative guy—you’ll figure it out,” he says, leaving the ball in my court. He’s careful not to suggest anything that could backfire, knowing this is my battle to fight. If I’m going to show Hope that I’ve truly changed, it’s on me to put in the effort, to prove it.
I let out a long, ragged sigh, the weight of it settling between us.
“I care about her, Jase. Both her and Zac—they’ve become the best part of my days.
I’d almost given up hope of ever meeting another woman who could make me feel this happy, this alive again.
I thought that part of me was gone, that I’d spend the rest of my life walking alone.
And then out of nowhere, Hope happened.”
My chest aches, sharp and relentless, at the realisation that Hope was what I had been seeking all along—the happiness I once believed was lost to me forever.
“After our first meeting, I never thought I’d see her again.
But when I did…it felt different this time, something changed.
And the more I got to know her, the more I realised I wanted her in my life.
I felt this unexpected joy and excitement again that I hadn’t felt in years.
I can’t just walk away from that. I can’t. ”
Jason nods, an understanding look in his eyes.
“You know, Kaden, that night at Chris and Gemma’s party, I could sense something there between you two—something real and deep.
Chris and Gemma said they felt it too. Watching you with her, it was like she brought out this whole other side of you.
And the way you looked at her all night, with so much hope, so much care, so much respect, I’ve never seen that in you before. ”
“And here I thought I was the only one who noticed it.”
“I think everyone in the apartment noticed it,” he teases lightly.
A genuine chuckle slips out of me, the first in twentyfour hours. “I’m falling for her, Jase.”
“I know you are, brother.” He gives me as warm, empathetic smile. “So, what are you going to do about it?”
“I’m going to fight like hell to get her back. Even if I have to crawl on my hands and knees to reach her. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
“I believe you,” he smiles widely. “And if you need me to record you on your hands and knees, I’ll happily do it on my phone.” He tosses me a wink, and I shake my head at him.
Just then, his phone buzzes. He glances at it briefly before slipping it into his pocket. “I gotta run. I’m supposed to be at the supermarket grabbing more baby wipes, and that was Mila probably wondering what’s taking so long.”
“Thanks for stopping by, Jase.”
“Will you be alright?”
I nod. “Yeah, I think I will.”
“Good,” he replies, rising to his feet. “Then in that case, I hope you don’t mind if I take this?” he says, snatching the bourbon from the table.
I chuckle. “Help yourself.”
“That’s the spirit!”
We walk to the door and set a time to hang out again before he leaves, and I’m alone once more.
I head into the master bedroom to check my phone—there’s still no reply from Hope.
I’ll give it a day or two, and if I still don’t hear from her, then I’ll make her see, that no matter what, I’m not giving up. I’m not walking away, not unless she asks me to.