Chapter 20
Nathan
I slowly pry open my eyelids, feeling the warmth of the bright, morning sun pouring in through the plastic blinds. Spencer’s still in my arms. We’re both a little damp with sweat. I remember it being hot last night. We kicked off the covers but were apparently unwilling to let each other go.
Carefully, I pull my arm out from under her, trying my best not to jostle her. I don’t think it matters. She’s sleeping like the dead.
Her mouth is open as she silently sucks in heaps of air. Her big hair is disheveled in every direction, making it look like she’s sleeping underneath a mop. She slept in her makeup, so her eyeliner is smeared and her blush has faded from rubbing against the pillow.
She’d probably hate me to see her like this, but I stare because it’s beautiful. She’s sleeping so hard because she felt safe with me last night.
Rolling over, I reach for my phone. It’s still early. Seven on a Saturday morning. I should lie back down, but I need to make a few calls. First my dad. Then the lawyers. Finally, The Orchid Spa. It’s a luxury spa that Dawn loves. I get her a gift card every year for her birthday.
I pull on my pants but leave my belt behind. I don’t want the clanking to disturb Spencer. I’m pushing my arms through my dress shirt as I sneak out of the bedroom and take the two steps to the living room.
“Oh, hello,” I say when I see an unsuspecting girl sitting at the kitchen table with a giant bowl of cereal.
Her jaw drops as she peels off her bright blue headphones with rainbow-colored cat ears. She pauses whatever’s on her cell phone and closes the scrapbook sitting next to her.
“Hi,” she squeaks.
I button up my shirt faster than humanly possible. Thank fuck I had the good sense to put my pants on before coming out here. I almost forgot Spencer and I weren’t alone.
“Charlie, right?”
She nods and points at me. “You’re my sister’s grumpy boss, right?”
I grin. “Or feel free to call me Nate.”
We both stare in awkward silence for a beat. I actually consider fleeing back into the bedroom right before Charlie breaks the ice.
“I have a little left of the good cereal. I was going to have another bowl but you can have it if you want,” she offers.
I near her, examining her cereal-dyed milk. I smell the sickeningly sweet scent of fake fruit. “Fruit Loops?”
She makes a disgusted face. “Trix with marshmallows, you animal.”
“I’m an animal for liking Fruit Loops? They’re the same thing.”
“So wrong,” she mutters under her breath before hopping up to fetch me a cereal bowl and spoon.
Do I want children’s cereal this morning?
Not remotely. But I’d be a fool not to see this for what it is.
An offering, but not of food, of friendship.
I’d be willing to bet every penny in my bank account that if Charlie doesn’t approve of me, Spencer’s interest will dwindle quickly.
Charlie proceeds to fill my bowl with the last of the cereal, dumping crumbs and all into the bowl which barely fills it halfway.
Next, she grabs the half gallon of milk from the fridge and slams it onto the table.
Setting my bowl in the space across from her, she drops the spoon in the dry cereal and looks at me.
“You want me to pour your milk for you too, or you got it?”
I chuckle softly. Apparently, snark is a family trait. “I think I can manage.” I sit down in the seat Charlie chose for me. After splashing my cereal with just enough milk to coat the fruity shapes, I stir the cereal with my spoon.
Charlie’s looking at me like I just committed a gruesome crime. “You can use more. We can always get more milk.”
“I like my cereal crunchy. Too much milk and it goes soggy.”
“Oh. I like mine soupy.”
I flick my spoon, drying it the best I can, then hold it out to Charlie. “Cheers.”
An excited glint in her eye, she rips her spoon out of her half-eaten cereal, then licks it clean before clanking it against my spoon.
One bite in, it dawns on me how natural this feels.
I just touched my spoon to Charlie’s spit-spoon like a natural reflex.
I used to never share food until Elise and Claire came into my life.
I loved my family so much, all my boundaries crumbled.
“Did you spend the night?” Charlie asks.
I take my time chewing my large bite of cereal, trying to stall as I come up with a reasonable explanation. “Sort of.”
“You can’t sort of spend the night. You either did or didn’t.”
Dammit, Nate. That would’ve worked on a five-year-old. Charlie is much older. “Your sister and I are just friends.”
“You sure?” She shuts one eye while tilting her head. “I don’t think Spence likes you very much.”
“Oh? Why do you say that?”
Charlie stirs her cereal, turning her milk into a whirlpool. “Well, she tells all her friends that you don’t pay her enough to put up with you.”
I chuckle. “That’s probably true. What else?”
“Some other stuff I’m not allowed to repeat. We left our swear jar in Miami, but she still keeps tally in her head.” Charlie rolls her eyes so hard, her light blue irises completely disappear for a split second. “But if you have money on you, I’m open to betraying her for the right price.”
“I like you, Charlie. But unfortunately, I don’t have any cash on me,” I say between breathy huffs of laughter. I’m curious though. Spencer’s haughty insults are kind of a turn-on. I just want to handle that sassy mouth of hers. I wonder if Charlie would take Venmo.
“So, I heard you sing at House of Blues.”
At that, Charlie perks up in her chair and beams. “Was I good?”
“Way better than good. Where’d you learn to sing like that?”
She shrugs. “My mom said I just came out singing like a bird. I really love it. Spencer doesn’t let me sing in public, but as soon as I can get a job and afford my own cell phone, I’m going to get TikTok and post on there.”
“Spencer doesn’t let you have social media?”
Charlie shakes her head, wearing a bitter expression. “Nope.” She shows me her phone in a pink Hello Kitty case. “She blocked everything except music, games, and YouTube Kids. So annoying. All my friends at school have TikTok.”
“That’s not a good thing. Your sister loves you very much. She’s protecting you.”
“ I know ,” Charlie says, exaggerating the syllables. “That’s why I put up with her.”
Spencer’s logic makes more sense as I get to know Charlie.
While she’s smart, charming, and talented, she’s also impressionable.
Not to mention she’s eager to show off her skills.
Getting tangled up with the music industry at her age would be like dangling a baby seal above chummed, shark-infested waters.
“That song you sang that night though, it was beautiful. I almost got married, and that was supposed to be our wedding song. It was nice to hear it again.”
Charlie’s face goes blank as she sucks in her bottom lip. Something set her off. Wordlessly, she goes back to half-heartedly poking at her cereal-sog.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“If you’re married, why are you spending the night with my sister?”
“I said I almost got married. We’re not together anymore.”
“Why, what happened?”
I duck and dodge every time someone brings this up. The only people I mention Elise to are the people who were part of our life before the accident, and even then, I rarely make exceptions. There’s something so earnest about Charlie. Today, I don’t feel like telling one more lie.
“Same thing that happened to your mom.”
“Oh.” She hangs her head and I’m worried that was too insensitive. But then she adds, “Cancer?”
“Car accident. It was very sudden.”
“Oh, that’s better I think.”
I blink at her, completely befuddled by her thoughts. “Why would you say that?”
“I’m sorry,” she murmurs. “I didn’t mean to be mean. I’m sorry about your friend.” She reaches for her headphones in the middle of the table, but I place my palm over them.
“Charlie, I’m not upset. I just wanted to know what you meant.”
“Um, well…” She takes her hands back, abandoning the headphones, setting them in her lap instead.
Her gaze is fixed on her fingers underneath the kitchen table.
“Sometimes I wish I didn’t know my mom was sick.
Goodbye is really hard and it felt like we were waking up every day and saying goodbye.
If it was sudden, then we’d only say goodbye once and the rest of the days would’ve just been normal. ”
“I never thought about it that way,” I muse.
I was always angry I didn’t get more time to prepare with Elise.
I kick myself that we didn’t just get married, and instead we spent so much time planning the perfect day.
She didn’t have a wedding with Peter, so a wedding would’ve been a first for both of us.
I wanted it to be huge and extravagant. I wanted Elise to have the fairy tale she deserved.
Had we gotten married, I would’ve had a legal claim to adopt Claire.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve blamed the suddenness of losing Elise as the core issue to everything, but what would waking up every day and knowing I was going to lose her feel like?
How do you live each day with looming tragedy casting a shadow on every step you take?
“How long was your mom sick?”
“Since right when I was born, I think. A really long time. Do you want to see her?” Charlie taps the scrapbook. Another offer of friendship I’d be a fool to refuse.
“Yes, definitely.”
She narrows her eyes. “Put your cereal bowl up first.”
“You were eating with it open a moment ago.”
“I know, but I’m really careful. I don’t trust you yet.”
“All right,” I grumble, picking up my half-eaten cereal. I grab Charlie’s bowl too and place them both in the sink.