Chapter 13
13
C arley opened her eyes and looked around the room. It was bare, no pictures. She heard a noise. It sounded like a whimper or a grunt or something, and she froze, she heard it again and rolled over. Mason was sleeping next to her, and he was jerking in his sleep. His feet moved, thrashed. His hands pushed, pushed some invisible thing away on the opposite side of the bed from her.
She softly got out of bed, not sure if she should wake him up or let him finish out his dream or nightmare as it seemed. Wasn't there something about not waking up someone in a sleepwalking state, or...
Suddenly he jerked upright and stared straight ahead across the room. She froze and watched him. He shook his head. With the palms of his hands, he rubbed his eyes, then scraped his hands through his hair and sighed. His head slowly turned to her as she stood watching him. "I told you."
"I wasn't scared. I just wasn't sure what I should do. If I should wake you, or if I should just leave you alone. What should I do if that happens?"
He huffed out his breath. "I don't know. I don't know."
She felt a little embarrassed. She stood there naked. She slid back into the bed, pulled the covers up over her breasts, and faced him. "Have you ever..."
She looked at her fingers and twisted them together, then she looked at Mason. "Have you ever been with someone when you had a nightmare?"
"No."
"Okay. Do you see a counselor?"
"No," he said a little more boldly.
"I'm not trying to make you feel bad and I'm not trying to pry. I'm trying to understand."
"I haven't seen a counselor. I have the names of a couple. I know Jace could help me out with finding someone, too. It's..." He scraped his hands through his hair again.
"It's embarrassing."
"You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Mason. Nothing."
"Says the woman who has nothing wrong with her."
She laughed. "I have plenty of things wrong with me. Plenty."
Their eyes met for a while, then his drifted down the sheet, barely covering her breasts. "Not from where I sit, you don't. You have everything going for you, Carley. You have a business. You're phenomenal. You're smart. You're self-sufficient. I'm a fucking bartender."
"Well, I guess after today, I could say you're a fucking bartender."
She waited. Then she chuckled. "You work in a bar as a bartender, which is not a bad profession. You're good at what you do. I don't see anything wrong. You're gainfully employed. You've got a lot going for you. You paid cash for this condo, for crying out loud. You're alright, Mason. You're doing well."
He huffed out a breath. "I don't know."
She watched him for a while. His shoulders rolled forward, looking dejected. She scooted over toward him, and her hand rubbed his back. "What did you do before you were a bartender, when you were in the military?”
"I was a surgeon."
"A surgeon?"
"Why does that surprise you?"
"It doesn't surprise me as in I don't think that you would be capable of it. It surprises me that you went from surgeon to bartender. I'm trying to understand why."
He huffed out a breath. "Can we not talk about this right now? I'm feeling embarrassed, and that's not exactly the best feeling after having been with someone and having them witness something like my nightmare."
She rubbed his back a little bit more. "You know, it was just a nightmare. People have them all the time."
"Not everyone."
"Some people do."
"Do you?"
"No."
"See, not everyone has them."
She swallowed. "Okay, well you got me there. Not everyone has them and you do. You weren't violent. It's like you were trying to push someone away or something."
"Yeah, that's what I was trying to do."
He got up and stalked to the bathroom.
She watched as he walked. He was incredible. Tall and lean and broad and firm. He was handsome, and he was smart. She didn't know how to help him. She started dressing and devising a plan in her mind. What would she do? She didn't want to divulge any confidences, but she wanted to help him. She really liked him. Really liked him.
He came out of the bathroom and stopped in front of her. He reached over, pulled his sweatpants on, and slid the T-shirt over his head.
She didn't know what to say. It was sort of awkward at this moment. What did she say? Thanks for the roll in the hay? She stepped into the kitchen and slipped on her new slacks. They felt wonderful against her skin. She tucked her blouse into her slacks as she moved to the sofa to grab her purse. She didn't want this to be the only time they saw each other. She surely didn't want it to be the last time they slept together. What they had was hot. It was passionate. It was incredible.
As she lifted her purse and slung it over her shoulder, his hands rested on her collarbone from behind. She halted for a moment, and he turned her to face him. She looked up into his eyes.
"I really like you, Mason. Really like you. I've been watching you from afar for a long time, and while I didn't expect us to have sex today, I'm not sorry. I... I guess I don't know what else to say. I don't know what you're looking for. I'm not necessarily looking for anything from you. I just wanted to get to know you better, and things got sexy, and I'm not sorry."
He watched her as she spoke. A grin hitched up on one side of his mouth. He said, "I'm not sorry either and I've been watching you from afar too. I saw you the first time you came in with your sister. I think it was after her husband died, and you all looked..." He swallowed. "Well, I'm gonna take that back. She looked sad. You and your other sisters didn't look as sad, more mad or something. But I remember watching you. You comforted her. You were there for her, and I thought you were incredibly beautiful. I don't want to burden you with anything, Carley. I would like to get to know you better, too. I just want to be honest, I guess. It might not be easy."
She smiled. Her heart felt a little lighter, knowing he wanted to get to know her better, too. "Well, I can't say I'm looking for easy. What I'm looking for is someone I really want to spend time with and someone who really wants to spend time with me. I've never had that ever. I have never had that in my entire life. And you seem kind of lonely, and I am lonely, and I thought maybe our two loveless souls would find each other, and we'd enjoy each other's company."
He kissed her lips softly. "I'd like to get to know you better too. I’m not gonna lie, I liked our afternoon together."
She chuckled. "I did too."
He kissed her one more time and then he pulled her to his body and hugged her tightly.
She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him right back. They stood together for a long time, just holding each other, and that felt better than anything she could ever explain. To just have someone hug you, want to hug you, and want nothing else from you. She hadn't even realized it till right now. What did that say about her?