Chapter Nine #2
Cuddled together on the grassy bank, we watched the colorful fish swim in silence.
Even if they possibly were bloodthirsty monsters, they were still pretty.
Not as pretty as the man beside me though.
The glow of the fish and luminescent water reflected in his topaz eyes, popping against his bronze skin.
“What are you starin’ at?” he asked with a humored note in his voice. “Afraid I’m actually gonna throw you in the lake?”
I shook my head. “You’re beautiful, Ro.”
His smile faltered in his surprise. “Seems you have me confused for someone else.”
“Nope. I’m not confused at all.” I leaned in and glided the tip of my nose along his. My heart ached at the fact that he thought so low of himself. “You may not see it, but I do.”
“When we get back, we need to ask Specs to give you his glasses. Because your eyes clearly aren’t working right.” He bit at my nose. “Still just as silly as the day I met you.”
“The day you Evan-napped me, you mean.” I took his face in my hands. “But I’m serious. You may think that you thrive in the dark and belong in the shadows, but to me, you’re like sun-heated sand and summertime. You’re warm and so damn bright you’re blinding.”
Rowan shakily exhaled. “Warmer than that stinky rabbit? I definitely smell better.”
“Oh stop.” I returned his earlier bite by nipping at his jaw. “Both of you are warm and smell amazing.”
“But you love me more, right?” He smirked.
“I love each of you for different reasons, but no one outweighs the other. You…” I searched for the words to explain my feelings. “You all keep me balanced. And when one of you isn’t with me, that balance is offset, making everything discombobulated.”
“That’s a big word.”
I snorted.
“Is that how you feel about Lord Onyx too?” he asked in a tone that was rougher than before. “Unbalanced without him?”
My hand went to the center of my chest on impulse, pressing against that achy and restless place that begged to be closer to the demon lord. “Y-Yeah.”
“So it’s really true.” He stared at the moonlit water. “He’s harem member number six.”
“For the last time, I don’t have a harem.”
“Uh huh.” A mischievous gleam lit his topaz eyes, joining the curve of his lips. “Tell that to all the cocks you ride on the regular. And the one ass you pound.”
Heat spread to my cheeks, and I bumped against him. “Keep teasing me and I really will spank you.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” He returned the side-bump before softly sighing. “Is it wrong for me to be kinda excited?”
“Excited?”
“I’ve admired Lord Onyx ever since I was a kid living on the streets.
” He stared at the pond, watching another glow pass beneath the water.
“Hearing stories about him and the Shadow Realm gave me hope that I’d one day find a real home.
A place where my shadow magic could be celebrated instead of feared.
Here I am now, not only with the demon lord I’ve dreamed of meeting but also with the man I love by my side.
I…” He shakily exhaled. “I think I’m happy. Like really happy. And it scares me.”
A tremor passed over my heartstrings, and I retook his hand. He had been cast out because of his shadow magic. People had mistreated him and made him feel worthless and undeserving of love. Probably why compliments and affection made him uncomfortable.
“There you go looking pitiful again.” He reached over and lightly bopped my chin. “I’m sure it makes you an awfully tempting snack to the—”
I threw my arms around him and buried my face against his neck.
“What’s all this for?” he asked.
“I’m just showering you in my love,” I mumbled, throat tight. Hugging both him and that little boy who’d never known kindness. “So, sit still and let me.”
He chuckled, low and raspy, and cupped the back of my head. “Such a sap. But I love you anyway.”
“You better.” I nuzzled more into him. “Because you’re stuck with me.”
The sound of night came alive around us. A toad croaked nearby, and a soft splash sounded, as if a fishtail had slapped the surface before diving back under. The beautiful night couldn’t distract me for long though. Heaviness returned to my gut as I remembered what awaited me back in our room.
“Maddox and Cal weren’t too happy about harem member number six,” I quietly said, trying to make light of the situation by using the H word. I turned my gaze upward, wishing the stars could give me all the answers.
“Yeah, well, they can get over it.” Rowan grabbed a stick from the ground and picked at the bark.
“Besides, it’s not like you’re to blame.
Fate has run you ragged, Evan, forcing you down a path you never asked for.
I may tease you about havin’ a harem, but I know it’s out of your control. You didn’t choose any of it.”
“I might not have asked for this life, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Because it gave me all of you.” I brought my knees up and hugged them to my chest. “But now everything feels so… hard. Feels like no matter what I do, embrace my connection with Lord Onyx or not, someone will get hurt.”
“Gods.” Rowan tossed the stick aside and matched my pose, arms on his raised knees. “You care so much about our feelings that you barely give any considering to your own. And it breaks my heart.”
Leaves rustled from the gentle breeze that came down from the mountains. And on that breeze? The smell of springtime and black cardamom. Another scent teased the air too, woodsy and with the warm notes of a crackling fire, though it was too faint for me to be sure.
“I need a drink.” I rubbed at my eyes. “A strong one.”
“I can help with that.” Rowan withdrew his flask and took a swig. He offered it to me. “Bottoms up.”
I eyed the flask, debating on whether to accept or not, before snatching it and taking a big gulp.
“Easy there,” he said with a light laugh. “You’ll—”
I sputtered and coughed as the rum went down my throat. The shit burned.
“Tried to warn you.” He belted out a laugh. “How dare you waste my good liquor. The pup gave away one of his little charms to get it.”
“Hey, it’s not my fault.” I wiped at my mouth. “That tastes like diesel fuel. Doesn’t go down smooth at all. Zero out of ten, do not recommend.”
“Suit yourself. More for me.” He took another drink before closing the flask and pocketing it. A pensive look crossed his face. “Are you going to tell Lord Onyx that he’s your fated mate?”
“I don’t know yet.” I rubbed at that tender spot in my chest again. “But something inside me aches for him, Ro. Reaches out for him. I felt the same way with each of you. It’s like I can’t rest until we’re together. Not sure I’m strong enough to fight it. And a part of me doesn’t want to.”
“Then don’t,” Rowan softly said. He shifted his body to rest against mine and stared up at the sky. “I reckon if you tried, it’d hurt him too.”
“What do you mean?”
“That ache you mentioned? If he’s anything like me, he feels it every time he thinks of you.
” He took hold of my nape and brought me closer, our faces inches apart.
“It was that way for me, remember? I tried to stay away from you in the beginning, but you consumed my every thought. Every damn thing reminded me of you, Evan, and each of them stirred something in me I’d never felt before.
Soon, each day without you felt like a gnawing in my chest I couldn’t ease.
A pain that wouldn’t go away no matter how much rum I drank to try to forget you. ”
“Ro.” Emotion clogged in my throat.
“So you see?” His breath tickled my lips. “I was yours from the moment I jumped from that branch and Evan-napped you. Just as I’m sure he feels you were his from the second he laid eyes on you in the dark wood.”
Warmth filled my chest. “I’m glad you couldn’t stay away.”
“As am I.” Rowan leaned in and ghosted his mouth over mine. He smelled like black cardamom and rum. “Going all-in with you is the best decision I ever made.”
Our lips met a beat later. He nipped at them and brushed his tongue against the seam of my mouth before pushing me to my back on the soft grass. The emotion welling in the base of my throat caused a quake as I kissed him back.
“None of that now.” He swept his thumb along the edge of my eye, catching a tear. “There are enough toads in this pond. We don’t need a sad one to add to the chorus of croaks.”
A short laugh broke through that lump. “I’m not sad. Just… happy you’re here. With me.”
His smirk vanished, revealing something achingly tender in his topaz eyes. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. I saw that same happiness staring back at me as he pinned me down and straddled my hips.
When he met me for another kiss, it was rougher than before. Rowan didn’t do soft and gentle. Wasn’t his style. He liked it hard, with teeth scraping skin and fingertips digging into hips hard enough to leave bruises.
Just one of the things that differentiated my men. They were each so different in bed. And I loved it. Couldn’t get enough.
The night air chilled my skin as Rowan slid his hands beneath my tunic, traveling up my ribs and to my chest. He tweaked both of my nipples, and I groaned and arched up into him, forgetting all about the chilly, spring night air.
“Such a needy little treasure,” he said, smirking down at me. “What am I gonna do with you?”
“Well, you being on top of me is a good start.” I rested my hands on his hips and tipped my head back, admiring him. Moonlight kissed his dark skin and caught on his auburn hair, bringing out the various shades of red. “Kissing me would be even better.”
“Is that right?” He flashed my favorite tooth. “That won’t come cheap. What will you give me for it?”