Chapter 32 Klaus
KLAUS
Istared at the wall in front of me in Matteo’s office as I drank. I was exhausted and spent every moment looking for my hummingbird. The thought that she was out there, hurt, or worse, was killing me.
I couldn’t fucking eat. I couldn’t sleep. Everything was falling apart around me, and I blamed myself.
We’d agreed not to tell Constantino—Evan—because we didn’t want his healing to be halted, because without a doubt, he’d break free and try to find her.
Santino even agreed it was a bad idea to tell him she was missing. He spent time searching for her, too, all while fucking up everything he could for De Luca despite Evan being alive.
I think he was just pissed, and I could get on board with that.
I’d stopped by Matteo’s to try to rest, but I’d ended up in the study, drinking myself stupid.
“Where’s Matteo?” Alessandro demanded as he swept into the room. I noticed his knuckles were busted to piss, so that meant he was doing what I’d been doing only hours before.
“He and Alessio had some business to tend to.” I looked back at the wall. I’d barely said two words to Alessandro since he learned I’d been fucking the woman he loved.
I didn’t have words for him other than I was sorry, and I knew he didn’t give a shit about my sorrow.
“And you didn’t go?”
“No.” I polished off my third glass of whiskey.
Alessandro came forward and sat with me at the bar.
“How is Bianca?” he asked.
“Miserable. Babies are due soon,” I muttered. She was ready to pop any day now. The doctor had been here earlier to say it was almost time and that he would induce soon if she didn’t go into labor. It was one of the reasons I was there while Alessio and Matteo were out.
Baby duty.
I’d yet to go upstairs and check on her, but I figured she was fine since an hour ago, Matteo said she was.
I grunted and poured another drink.
“Do you love her?” Alessandro’s words were soft.
I said nothing as I drank slowly and stared at the wall in front of me. I didn’t know how to answer the question. I knew the first time I said I loved someone, I wanted it to be to that person, though.
“What is love?” I asked finally.
“Don’t bullshit me,” Alessandro replied. “This entire thing is fucked up. You knew how I felt—”
“So did you. You knew how you felt.” He finally looked over at me. “And you chose Bianca.” I sighed and rubbed my eyes.
“I’m trying to save her—”
“From what? Carmine?” I snorted and drank again. “You really don’t know your father, do you?”
“How could I? He was taken from me before I could.”
I didn’t say more. It wasn’t my place. Matteo needed to sit and speak to him, though.
“Just answer me. Do you love her?”
I hesitated for a moment before speaking.
“I don’t even know what to call this feeling.
Love. Obsession. Madness. It all blurs together.
All I know is that she’s gone, and something inside me is tearing itself apart.
Every breath burns with the thought of her not being safe.
It’s like my heart learned to beat for her, and now that she’s missing, it’s punishing me for every time I don’t find her.
It happened so fast and became so all-consuming that I’m just…
afraid.” I drank once more before I looked at him. “Is that love, Alessandro?”
“Yes,” he whispered. “That’s love.”
I let out a soft hiss. So this was what love was like. It sure fucking hurt.
“She loves you,” I said, saying what I knew to be true.
“I think she loves you, too,” he muttered.
I was surprised at his reply. I didn’t expect him to tell me such things.
“What will we all do? Share her?” I asked with a grunt. I didn’t expect him to say yes. He was not Evan. Evan seemed far more accepting of sharing, and since he and Alessandro seemed close, I figured Alessandro would accept joining them if it was offered once everything was out on the table.
Of course, he did not know Evan lived. I contemplated telling him, but decided that, once again, he and Matteo really needed to talk.
“You don’t like to share,” Alessandro said tightly.
“Nor you.”
He let out a sad laugh. “You got me there.”
Of course I did. I knew him because I knew Matteo, and Matteo would never share a woman he loved.
Alessandro poured me another glass and pushed it at me as I finished mine.
“Drink until it makes sense,” he said.
“And if it doesn’t?” I stared at him.
“Then we’re both fucked, I’d say.”
We drank in silence for a long time before my phone buzzed. I stared at the message from Levin for a moment. I’d reached out to him earlier in the day, asking if he’d meet with me to talk.
Levin: Go fuck yourself. You know, since you already fucked Rosalie and she’s now missing because of you.
“Matteo?” Alessandro asked.
“No. My son.” I sighed.
“Levin.”
I nodded. “He’s unhappy with me. We’re trying to work it out.”
“He found out about Rosalie, huh?”
“Yeah,” I muttered. “My other son is alive, but I’m sure you knew that.”
Alessandro froze. “H-How did you know? Did Levin tell you?”
“Rosalie,” I answered. “I want to see him. I tried to save him, you know? When he was dating the Vasiliev girl. I tried. I thought I had, but he was always smart.” I sighed.
Only Matteo and Alessio knew I’d met with Ivanov to pay him off to keep his daughter away from Stef.
Of course, that hadn’t worked. “I fucked up with my boys. I need to repair those relationships before I attempt anything else. I am not a good partner for anyone at this time. I was going to tell Rosalie the night she was taken.”
“You were breaking it off with her?”
I nodded, knowing I was going to, but I’d also let her decide my—our—fate. “It was the right move. She made me realize I needed to get my shit together. That I was given a second chance and needed to take it, but I told her I wanted to keep her. It wasn’t a lie.”
“And then what? Once you figure out the family things?”
“I don’t know. I guess I had hoped the universe would bless me with her.
She told me once that if it’s meant to be, it will.
We were discussing a book she wanted, but wouldn’t let me buy for her.
She said if it were meant to be hers, it would be.
” I chuckled softly at the memory. “I’m applying it to my life. ”
I got to my feet and clapped him on the shoulder.
He didn’t seem to want to kill me too badly, which I saw as a positive.
“You’d be good for her, Alessandro. Let this shit go and take her away from here.
She’s a good girl and deserves the world.
Give it to her. And if you can’t, I have a suspicion Matteo will. ”
“What does that mean?” He frowned at my words.
“It means you truly do not know your father the way you think you do.”
I didn’t elaborate. This was Matteo’s game, not mine, and I’d be damned if I was going to cheat.
I stepped into Bianca’s room to find her sitting on the couch, watching a documentary on the Hoover Dam.
She looked over at me and scowled.
“I am only here to make sure you are OK,” I said, trying not to be offended by her evil eye. Then again, I deserved it.
“I’m fine. Go away,” she muttered, turning her attention back to the TV.
I hesitated for a moment, deciding I’d let the alcohol move me forward. I went to her and took a seat in a large, soft chair.
She raised her brows at me like I’d lost my mind.
“Is your English so bad that you didn’t understand what I said to you?” she asked, glaring at me. “How do I say go fuck yourself in German?”
“Fick dich,” I replied. “But it’s really inappropriate.”
“Fick dich,” she shot back.
I let out a soft huff of laughter. “How does Levin tolerate your mouth?”
“By letting me suck his dick.” She glared at me.
I said nothing, really taken aback by her snark.
“You are truly fire,” I said, shaking my head. “I do not wish to have bad blood between us. For what it’s worth, I am sorry for your suffering.”
She rolled her eyes and looked back at the TV.
We sat in silence for a few moments before I spoke.
“Alessandro is here. Perhaps he will come see you.”
She perked up at that.
“But just so you’re aware, he is in love with another, so don’t get too cozy with him.”
“I know,” she snapped. “He is my friend. You might want to ask him for lessons on how to be a decent human. I’m pretty sure he can teach you a few things.”
I nodded. “Perhaps he could. He is a good man. He is like his father.”
Her bottom lip trembled before she looked away again.
I’d touched a nerve.
“Matteo visits you often,” I said, not as a question. “You two must get along well for him to keep coming back and for you to have such joy in his visits.”
I watched as she stood and came to me before she straddled my lap.
Stunned, I stared at her, not knowing what to do with my hands. To say her actions were a surprise was an understatement.
“I can get along with anyone,” she murmured, leaning in and brushing her lips against my jaw.
I tensed beneath her.
“Do not get confused,” she softly said into my ear. “I can fuck my way out of here whenever I want, but I have a job to do, and I won’t go until it’s done.”
“Get off me,” I answered in a low voice.
“Why?” She shifted closer so her breasts were against my chest. “I’m sure you never get laid since you’re such an insufferable prick.”
“Get off me,” I repeated, louder this time.
She laughed softly. “Why? Is this cheating?”
“Yes,” I whispered. “It would harm my girl and my son.”
“Because you want to fuck me?”
I rested my hands on her hips as she shifted against me.
“I do not want any such thing. You should be ashamed of yourself for even attempting this madness. What do you think Levin would say? Alessandro? Matteo? Any of the kings you claim to love?” I pushed her back so I could stare into her eyes.
“You are not this person, and if you are, then you are not worthy of my son.”
She blinked rapidly at me before getting off my lap. She turned her back to me before letting out a soft sob.
I rubbed my eyes and got to my feet.
“Do not cry,” I said. “Especially over the pain we cause ourselves.”
She shook her head, still not facing me. “I-I want to go home. I miss my family.”
“Fucking your way out of here isn’t the answer.”
“I know,” she said through a sniffle. “Dominic and Fallon should be with me when I have our babies. I miss them, Vinny, and Levin. I-I’m scared.”
I raked my fingers through my hair, tired and a little too drunk for any of this, but I went forward.
“Bianca. Look at me,” I said.
She turned and faced me, her cheeks damp with her tears. I reached out and brushed them away.
“You will go home soon. Trust that Matteo has his reasons for keeping you here. He is not the monster you believe him to be.”
“I don’t think he’s a monster,” she murmured. “Not really.”
I nodded. “He is your way out, not me. I am loyal to only him and Alessio when it comes to these things. I am not so hard up that I’d fuck my son’s woman.”
“I’m glad,” she said, looking down.
I reached out and tilted her chin up. “Levin loves you. Be good to my boy. He needs your loyalty.”
“I love him,” she said fiercely.
“Then you never do anything like that again to me.”
She licked her lips and nodded. “I-I’m sorry. I-I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.”
“I have someone I care deeply for. We never had the talk.”
“You probably should.” She wiped at her eyes.
“I was going to, but things haven’t been working out in our favor lately.”
“Same,” she said, wiping at her eyes again.
“I shall get Alessandro. He is likely better at wiping tears than I am.”
“Please.” She stared back at me, more tears leaking down her cheeks. “A-And please don’t tell him what I-I—”
“Our secret,” I said as I backed away.
She watched me go without saying a word, and I didn’t hesitate to leave.
My son had his hands full.
But then again, I knew if Rosalie kept me around, my hands may be full too.
I just had to bring her home now.
So after getting Alessandro, I called Frank to take me back out into the city.
Fuck sleep.
My girl needed me.