8. Thank you For Being a Friend
Thank you For Being a Friend
“Dae, please.”
“No.”
The chair Theo was standing on wobbled, and Dae appeared with surprising speed to grip it in place.
Theo reached as far as he could to make sure the birthday banner wasn’t too crooked before tacking it to the wall, but ultimately, it tilted to the left.
Whatever. Imperfection was beauty. Between each letter was a picture from The Golden Girls, and Dorothy was giving him a disapproving stare from beside the R, not unlike the one on Dae’s face.
Theo put his hands on Dae’s shoulders to steady himself as he hopped down. Was it strictly necessary? No. But also yes. “Caleb only turns nineteen once.”
Dae’s eyelids hung heavy with faux annoyance. “You can say that about every age.”
“Please?”
“Absolutely not.” He escaped Theo’s proximity and started emptying bags of chips into plastic bowls, which was probably smart, since they didn’t want to be caught unprepared when Caleb returned.
Jordan was in charge of distracting him with music club stuff while the guys decorated.
He’d recently discovered The Golden Girls and to say he was sort of obsessed was like saying Orlando Bloom as Legolas sort of ignited Theo’s sexual awakening.
Obviously, they couldn’t have a theme without dressing up, an indisputable fact that Dae was nonetheless attempting to dispute.
“I already made him a special sticker for his birthday.”
“Yes, and it was adorable.” The long-haired creature was ninety-percent smile and simply said, Virgos Live Longer.
Caleb had, of course, freaked out when he saw it on Dae’s site, thinking it had been such a fun coincidence.
“But he doesn’t actually know that thoughtful gesture was from you.
C’mon,” Theo said, nudging him, “you know how much it would mean to him.”
He sighed his Theo-sigh. “I know he likes the show, but—”
“It’s not about the show, it’s about the four of us doing something together. He lives for that crap.” Theo put on his best pout. “I’m begging you.”
Dae’s lips twitched. “Then why aren’t you on your knees?”
“Wha…” Inappropriate, inappropriate, inappropriate. “What?”
Dae cocked his head innocently, and Theo couldn’t tell if he knew exactly what he was doing, or if he really didn’t understand the inferno he’d just sparked. “That’s what people do when they beg, isn’t it?”
There wasn’t time to unpack what the mischief in his voice was doing to Theo’s body, because Dae’s hand drifted towards his face, and then he flicked his forehead. “Not a chance.”
Fuuuuucking hell. Dae wasn’t making things easy.
“Little help?” Jason barged through the front door holding five bags of ice.
They got to work breaking them up and Theo miraculously resisted tossing a few cubes down his pants to pull himself together.
“T-minus ten minutes before people start showing up, and a half hour until go-time.” If Caleb lived for togetherness, Jason lived for efficiently making shit happen. “Is the projector set up?”
Dae nodded. “Episodes are cued to go.”
Jason picked up his clipboard—an actual clipboard—and checked it off his list. “Photo station?”
Theo’s salute was perfectly rigid. “The cardboard Golden Girls are ready to go with their faces cut out. An act that will haunt me for the rest of my days but will be worth it for the memories.”
Jason went over his list one last time, then gave them a huge grin. “Let’s go get ready.”
Theo was born to be Blanche. He didn’t even have to buy a wig; he just curled and fluffed his hair, put on some purple eyeshadow and bright red lipstick, and practiced a few flirty phrases in the mirror.
He’d been in charge of finding outfits at the thrift store, and it had been agony choosing between a pink frock or shimmery silver dress for himself, but he decided the dress was more appropriate for the occasion, since it had better shoulder pads.
A beaded necklace, plus some rings, and the costume was complete.
He knocked on Dae’s door before walking in.
“Come on, spoil sport, if you’re not going to dress up—” A sound of pure joy came coughing out of him.
A pea green jumpsuit was squeezed halfway up Dae’s body and a coiffed grey wig hung sideways on his head.
Theo had never seen anyone grumpier than Dae was in that moment: downturned lips, eyebrows squeezed together, and an aura that screamed harumph.
“I think the scarf is supposed to go on first.” He held up the mustard yellow silk. “And I don’t know how to do this up in the back. How did a sixty year old woman manage this?”
“The wardrobe department.”
He glared. “Theo, I swear if you don’t stop smirking, I’m never leaving this room.”
“Let me do it.” Theo folded the scarf around his neck twice, then heaved the shoulders to acceptable heights and managed to clasp the dress shut, all while carefully avoiding contact with his skin, for perfectly normal reasons he couldn’t quite come up with at that moment.
Dae held his breath as Theo brushed his hair off his forehead, pushing it back and attempting to gather it beneath the wig. The soft strands fell through his fingers like silk, which was a pleasant sensation, but not very helpful for the task at hand.
“Your make-up is cool.” Dae’s voice was soft, like he wasn’t sure he wanted the words to come out.
Theo tried to stop the very bad idea from tumbling out of his mouth, but it did anyway. “I could do yours.”
Dae stepped back, his lips pressed together in a thin line. “Jason’s probably waiting.”
“Yeah, good point. You, um… You look great.”
“Thanks.” He pushed his shoulders back in a very un-sixty-year-old-woman way. “Let’s do this.”
Jason was glaring at his phone when they got downstairs, his fingers furious.
“I said nine o’clock. Nine. Surprise parties aren’t a time to be fashionably late.
” His Sophia was amazing, down to the glasses chain hanging around his neck.
He lifted his head long enough to laugh at them, then went back to typing.
“Holy hell.” Jacinda stood in the doorway with brown pants pulled up to her waist and a lumpy bald cap covering her hair. She slowly appraised Dae. “Are you my ex-wife?”
“I, um…” He glanced down at himself as if his outfit might answer the question. “I’ve never watched the show.”
“Then you don’t recognize how hard I nailed Stanley.” She struck an old man pose to accentuate her point and was met with uproarious applause from Theo and a smile from Dae.
Her roommates filed in after her, followed by a few other people from the block. Most had just put on cardigans and sprinkled baby powder in their hair, but some put in actual effort. There were even a few characters Theo didn’t recognize, meaning they were either made up, or seriously deep cuts.
Jacinda touched Dae’s arm. “Are you sure you can handle being Dorothy? Do you have the sarcasm to pull it off?”
Dae didn’t answer, so Theo jumped in. “His sass is in his eyes.”
“Theo, your Blanche…” She kissed her fingertips in salute and he curtsied.
“Okay, okay, it’s time!” Jason held up his phone to show them the text from Jordan, even though obviously no one could see it.
He switched off the lights, and everyone crowded together in the hallway in front of the door.
The expression on Caleb’s face when they yelled surprise would forever live in Theo's heart as one of the most wholesome moments of his life. The happy laughter that bubbled out of him when they handed him his Rose costume could’ve powered an entire city.
“You guys, this…” He pulled them into a hug and started to scream-sing the Golden Girls theme song. They joined in, and it wasn’t singing anymore, it was bellowing. It was a wild call, a spell cast to the heavens, a promise.
The night was, in Theo’s humble opinion, the greatest surprise party in the recorded history of humanity.
An impressive number of people followed the BYOC (bring your own casserole) on the invitation, and some were even edible.
Dae’s was the best, of course, a fact which he, in no uncertain terms, told Theo to stop screaming about.
Jordan and Becks dressed as pillows off the flowered pink couch from the living room of the show.
The design of the fabric was so close, and the concept so funny, Theo almost forgave Becks for being such a flake with Jordan the past year.
Almost.
“Whose idea was it?” He yell-whispered into Jordan’s ear when Becks went to get them drinks.
“Mine, but she was a really good sport about it.” Jordan twirled and some pillow-stuffing fell out of her. “Want to sumo-wrestle?”
“Always.” They bumped tummies, making a few party-goers giggle.
Theo was full right to the brim with satisfaction and contentment.
It had been a weird few weeks with Dae and the stuff with his dad.
He’d sent him the proposal about an hour before he needed it and didn’t hear from him again.
He had no idea if he liked it, used it, or even read it.
Theo had considered texting him but didn’t want to seem like he was asking for praise.
The living room flickered with the projection and costumed partygoers filled every seat. Caleb laughed way too enthusiastically with Avery from the music club, who was also dressed as Rose, as Dae nodded at whatever Jacinda was saying on the couch.
Theo perched on the arm rest. “Is this the episode where Blanche does something saucy?”
Jacinda gave him a polite laugh. “That’s every episode.”
“My kind of lady.” He couldn’t read Dae.
His hands were clasped on his lap, and his shoulders were tight, but his expression was encouraging.
A clump of Jacinda’s hair had fallen from under her bald wig, where she’d drawn bushy eyebrows with make-up.
Her attention to detail made Theo like her even more.
“Did you have some of Dae’s casserole?”
She gasped and stood, reaching for his hand. “Show me which one. I need to try it.”
Dae hesitated and she dropped her hand, trying so hard to hide her disappointment, but her smile was a bit too bright, and her voice a bit too cheery. “What kind is it?”
“Broccoli.” The word was barely audible over the laugh track of the show.
Theo took her hand instead. “Come on. You will not regret this.” Dae shifted as if he might go with them but then sunk back into the couch and focused on the old ladies on the wall.
Theo led Jacinda to the potluck table, but Dae’s casserole was gone.
The only one left was some kind of nacho tuna disaster that remained untouched.
“Sorry. I underestimated the hunger of drunk students.”
“How foolish.”
She was trying so hard to be jovial, he couldn’t take it. “He likes you, I promise.”
Her fake cheer dropped like she was an actor stepping offstage. “It doesn’t seem like it.”
“He’s shy. Like, really shy. But once he opens up, he’s a whole new guy.”
“Okay, fine.” She squared her shoulders. “I’m not above being coached. I like him. I know that sounds stupid since he’s barely said a full sentence to me, but there’s something about him, you know?”
Theo did know.
This felt right. Safe. Jacinda would be an awesome girlfriend; he could feel it. She’d be there for Dae, help him out of his shell, and not fuck with his feelings. So it was time to be a considerate, normal friend and make it happen.
“Okay then.” He extended his hand for her to shake. “The School of How to Get Close to Dae Moon is now in session.”