24. Violence in an Ikea!
Violence in an Ikea!
Theo re-downloaded the hook-up apps. No more relationships. He clearly couldn’t be trusted with them. From now until his inevitable death-by-hilarious-mishap, he would engage in casual sex only. That was what he was built for. That was what he could handle.
“Do you think Jason and Caleb would agree to dress as Ninja Turtles with us?”
“Yes.” Dae plunked his plate, cutlery, and mug into the water in the sink and started to wash as soapy bubbles floated around him like he was a cartoon.
Theo sat at the counter watching them until they popped.
“October doesn’t even begin until next week; you’re already planning our Halloween costumes? ”
“Jordan could pull off April O’Neil, and I bet Avery would be Splinter. She nerds out about this stuff more than Caleb.” Most of the costumes he scrolled past were plastic store-bought nonsense, but he saved a video on how to make one that could be fun.
“Are you really eating that stale croissant for breakfast?”
Theo closed his eyes and very deliberately bit into the crunchy, flaky, and okay, yes, stale croissant, humming in delight, and though he couldn’t see him, he knew Dae was shaking his head.
“Don’t complain to me when you’re hungry in Ikea.”
They needed shelves. It was all very exciting. “Do they have Ikea in Korea?”
Dae nodded. Theo had an intense urge to ask if he’d ever bought furniture with Beautiful Joon, but he squashed it. One didn’t ask jealous-sounding questions of one’s friend. Especially when one wasn’t jealous. At all.
The drain made a horrible sucking sound as it devoured the rest of the dishwater, and Dae wiped his hands on a towel, his skin pulling and twisting against the veins in his forearms.
Jesus. Theo shoved the rest of the delicious carbs into his mouth and nodded to the door. “C’mon, buddy.” Buddy??? Flecks of bread soared out along with his mumbled words. “Our shelves await!”
??? ???
The subway was busy for early-afternoon on a Sunday, so they squeezed into corner seats and played word-association singer edition. Theo dominated, obviously. Dae swore that, next time, the category would be something like historical figures or news anchors, and Theo said he’d probably forfeit.
The train gently rocked their shoulders together, again and again. Theo knew Dae’s attention was on him, but he couldn’t turn to meet it because he had a hangnail that needed worrying.
It was bleeding by the time they reached their stop, but it was fine, sticking your finger in your mouth after riding the subway never hurt anyone!
Dae had done shelf research, so their mission in Ikea was completed fairly quickly.
Theo put his elbows on the cart and pushed it along slowly, liking the smell of wood, compressed packaging, and whatever was wafting from the cafeteria.
His attempts to get Dae to agree to a few statement pieces for the apartment all failed except for a lamp shaped like a rocket ship.
“What’s next?” Dae asked, putting it in the cart. “Buzz Lightyear bedsheets? Glow in the dark stars for the ceiling?”
“Make fun all you want; I know you love this lamp.” It was silver and it changed intensity when touched. Theo decided to name him Albert. “I’m hungry.”
He sighed his Theo-sigh. “I told yo—”
“And lucky for us both, we are in the vicinity of…”
“Don’t say it.”
“Ikea meatballs!”
Dae had no choice. Theo was in control of the cart, and there was absolutely no way to stop him from pushing it to the cafeteria, which was the perfect blend of fast food ambiance and greasy spoon diner.
They got their treat, then sat sandwiched between a table of elderly men playing checkers and a group of teens loudly making fun of each other.
Dae stared at the glorious, saucy, savoury meatballs as if they’d said something untoward about his mother. “I need to make sure you know this isn’t real food.”
“If it makes you feel better, then sure. I know.” Theo put one in his mouth and groaned, then stabbed another with a toothpick and held it up. “Just one, Dae.”
He reluctantly leaned forwards and bit it off the toothpick, getting sauce on his lip that he licked away.
Theo shifted in his seat and kept his eyes down, thinking intently about puppies and old people.
“What’s wrong?”
“Huh? Nothing. Why?”
“You look like you’re trying to make the table move with telekinesis.”
“Because that’s what I’m doing.”
Dae poked at another meatball. “Weirdo.”
Things were spiralling out of control. Yes, Dae was attractive.
That was a fact. But he’d always been attractive, even in first-year with his dumb floppy bowl cut, and Theo had always managed to lock it down.
They’d lived together for three years, for shit’s sake.
And sure, he’d wandered into Theo’s private fantasies a few times, but Theo had always been able to get it out of his system and move the fuck on.
Maybe living together for three years was the key. Like exposure therapy. That had to be it. His body had forgotten that Dae was strictly off limits.
All he had to do was remind it. “Why didn’t you tell me about Beautiful Joon?”
Dae seemed surprised for a second, then shrugged. “Because it wasn’t that serious.”
Theo didn’t know why it was so important to him, but he couldn’t seem to move on with his life until they talked about it. “I told you every sordid detail about my dates. I told you about potential dates that didn’t even happen.”
“Yeah.” Dae ran his hand through his hair. “You did.”
“You used to tell me things.” Yikes. He hadn’t meant for that to come out so whiney.
Dae released an exasperated huff-laugh. “It just wasn’t worth mentioning!” When Theo didn’t laugh with him, he sat back in his chair, quiet, studying him as Theo studied the meatballs, which were starting to congeal. “So you want me to tell you about who I date?”
Theo nodded. He needed Dae to tell him about his love life, so he could get a fucking grip.
“Okay.” His head bobbed slowly in a nod, and they sat in a weird, itchy silence as one of the old guys beside them won the game and whooped, the other grumbling.
“Dae…” His heart stuttered and he had to pause to take a deep breath. “I need this to be forever.”
Dae didn’t move. At least, not the parts of him Theo could see: his torso, his waist, one elbow resting on the table.
Then his chest rose with a breath. “Us?”
Theo nodded again.
And Dae kicked him.
“Hey!” His chair screeched against the floor as he scooched back, watching with shocked indignation as Dae held back a smile.
“You were saying obvious shit, so I thought you needed something unexpected.” Then, miraculously, he stuck the toothpick into a meatball and popped it into his mouth, holding Theo’s gaze as he chewed.
“Okay, fine, these are actually satisfying.” Theo just stared at him, still poised in shin-defence, and Dae gave him a sardonic stare. “It was barely a tap.”
That was true. It hadn’t actually hurt. But still, he kicked him! “What kind of monster—”
Dae laughed outright, flashing his dimples, which should’ve been an illegal move. “What’s with the grand declaration? Of course this is forever, and the fact that you feel you need to keep reminding me is, quite frankly, insulting.”
Keep reminding him? How many times over the years had Theo said it?
Dae stuck the toothpick into another meatball but then snatched his hand away as if the meatball had made him do it. “Can we get the hell out of here? My body is betraying me.”
Theo knew the feeling.
“Fine.” He stood, weirdly comforted by Dae’s refusal to take his intensity as anything other than ridiculous.
It was ridiculous. They were forever, and regardless of what his body was trying to do, he wouldn’t forget it.
He picked up the plate of meatballs, shooting Dae a sassy glare. “But we’re taking these to go.”