26. What If
What If
Waking up was an atrocity. Buzzing from Theo’s phone kept pulling him back from the foggy sleep he’d been drifting in and out of. Half-memories from the night before weaved through the quasi-dreams that filled the space between sleep and waking.
Had he really asked Dae to undress him? He tossed around in the bed, kicking at the sheets until he tuckered himself out, then he lay there, blinking up at his ceiling.
It was fine. He’d been drunk, and from what the fuzz that now functioned as his brain could piece together, Dae hadn’t exactly been an unwilling participant. And it wasn’t like they did anything. Dae had just helped him out. And given Theo an erection in the process.
He groaned and lifted the blankets to glare at his dick, half-hard because of the morning, not his memories of Dae’s fingers softly gripping his hips.
His phone buzzed again and he threw himself into the distraction, scrolling through messages and articles.
The launch had been a success. Jordan’s album was selling well, and there were a few glowing reviews, a few okay ones, and one that was negative.
He squinted at the screen and read the first paragraph before realizing it was from a conservative-leaning website known for propagating antiquated bullshit. They didn’t count.
A light tap on his door made him bury his head under a pillow just before footsteps padded into the room. “I made breakfast.”
“I’m skipping today.”
“You can’t skip breakfast.”
“No, I’m skipping today.”
Dae pulled the pillow off his head and threw the blankets off him. “It’s past noon.”
Theo whined with absolutely no shame, trying to pull the blankets back without success. “It’s Saturday. Time is irrelevant.”
“Normally, I would agree.” Dae relinquished the blankets in favour of moving to the window to open the blinds. “But your dad is coming over.”
“What?” Theo shot up and instantly regretted it as the room tilted and his stomach threatened to climb out of his throat. “Wha—what?”
“You don’t remember?” Light from the window threw Dae into silhouette. “Your dad called last night when we were in the cab. He said he wanted to come by and see the apartment.”
Theo had zero recollection of agreeing to that. “See the apartment? After three years? Why now?”
Dae shrugged, his face coming into focus as he sat on the edge of the bed. The sympathy etched into his beautiful features made Theo regret asking those questions out loud. He didn’t want Dae’s sympathy—not for this.
Dae had never met Theo’s dad, and he wanted to keep it that way. “Do you…” How the fuck was he supposed to ask him to get the hell out of his own apartment? His throat was suddenly very scratchy and his chest tight, like he’d just run for his life.
“Theo?” Dae reached for him, but Theo flinched away.
“Sorry, um, do you have anything to do today?” Hot. He was so fucking hot. And clammy. “I mean, you don’t have to stick around, if you don’t want to.”
Dae studied him, his dark eyes jumping from his face, down to his chest, rising and falling too rapidly, and then finally to his shaking hands, which Theo hadn’t realized he’d twisted into his blankets.
He let them go, forcing a laugh. “I just mean, it’s not a big deal. If you have something else to do.”
Dae nodded, and the weight that had settled into Theo’s bones lifted slightly. “Yeah.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I was planning on going to the gym.”
“Okay.” Theo hadn’t meant for it to come out so relieved. He wasn’t even sure why he was so relieved, or why the thought of Dae meeting his dad was horrifying.
“Come on.” Dae offered his hand to help him out of bed, and even though it was stupid, given what he’d done the night before, Theo took it. Dae got him up, then lifted Theo’s arm to his nose, sniffing before dropping it dramatically. “Take a shower. You still smell like alcohol.”
Thank every power in the universe for Dae Moon and his ability to make everything okay. It was such a small thing, being teased, but it was everything to Theo in that moment. The normality of it. The casual touch that sent a very clear message: Last night didn’t ruin anything.
Theo tried to tease him back, but he honestly had nothing. “Well, you still smell like…”
“What?” Dae cut him a mischievous smirk. “Milkshakes?”
A confusing mix of amusement and embarrassment sparked in Theo’s chest, and for once, he was the one trying desperately to squash his smile. He tried to put a warning into his voice, but somehow, despite his best efforts, it came out flirty. “Dae.”
“That’s not my name. I’m Perfect Dae.” He put his hands to his chest like a maiden swooning over a knight and pitched his voice a few notes higher. “I would never yell at you, Perfect Dae. Please carry me up the stairs, Perfect Dae.”
Theo pushed past him towards his bathroom, shaking his head. “Next time you’re drunk, I’m filming it.”
Dae laughed, the notes deliciously malicious as the door closed, muffling his next words. “If you don’t change my contact in your phone to Perfect Dae, I’m moving out.”
Theo probably should’ve taken a proper shower and used way more soap than he did, but he was paranoid that his dad would show up before he got out.
So he quickly scrubbed, deeming it acceptable enough that his sweatiest areas were clean, and got dressed as water dripped off his wet hair down his neck.
His panic had been for nothing. When he walked out of his room, Dae was leaning against the kitchen counter, his gym bag slung around his shoulders, his attention on his phone.
“Okay,” he said, sparing Theo a glance so casual it was definitely premeditated, “I’m off.
I’ll be about an hour. Do you think that’s enough—”
“Thank you.” Theo hadn’t even known the words were going to jump out of his mouth until they did.
He wanted to let Dae know how much everything he’d done in the past twenty-fours meant to him, how much he appreciated that he was ignoring the night before, that he was pretending not to be kicked out of his own apartment, that he was just so…
Dae. But none of that would come out, so all he had was some blurted words and the hope that his face conveyed everything he wanted to say.
Dae nodded, then blinked, his eyes cartoonishly wide and innocent. “Thank you, who?”
Theo tried his best to give him a lethal stare, but he was just so fucking fond. “Thank you, Perfect Dae.”
His smugness was weirdly comforting. “You’re welcome.”
And then he was gone, and Theo was left to obsess about the apartment, tidying until he was just moving shit around for the sake of it. By the time the knock on the door came, every single knick-knack they owned had a new home.
His dad’s smile was awkward and forced when the door swung open, and Theo guessed his own was the same.
It had been a while since he’d seen him.
He’d gained a little weight around the middle, and grey highlighted his dark blonde hair at the temples, but he otherwise looked the same as he always did: like an ageing linebacker.
“Theo.” He opened his arms and they gave each other a bro-hug with heavy pats on the back, maintaining at least a five inch distance.
“Hey, Dad, come in.” He stepped aside and raised his arm as if presenting his apartment on a gameshow. “Um, here it is.”
His dad slipped off his shoes and wandered in, taking in the space with a slow nod. “Oh wow, it’s great. And in such a cool neighbourhood too.”
It was dumb how pleased Theo was to hear the simplest praise from him. And it wasn’t even about him.
“I bet it’s expensive, a downtown apartment with this much square footage. Do you need any money?”
Theo winced. His dad throwing money at them as if that made up for everything had made his mom rage on more than a few occasions.
“Oh, no, I’m okay. Jordan inherited it from a friend, so…” He shrugged, not sure if he had to explain rent control to his dad. “Do you want a drink or something?”
“Sure, sure, whatever you have.” His dad pointed at Céline and waited for Theo to nod before sinking into her cushions.
Whatever he had? Was it too early for a beer?
They had some stocked for the party next week.
Or would that make him seem irresponsible, to be drinking so early in the day?
On the other hand, it was past noon, and his dad was a beer drinker.
What else did he have to offer? Coffee? Dae’s tea?
He opened the fridge and bent down. His dad definitely wouldn’t want chocolate milk, right?
Shit, if he was this nervous about a drink choice, how the hell would he get through a whole visit? He grabbed two beers and shut the fridge, happy not with the decision, but that it’d been made.
They were cold in his hand. Jordan had gone with glass bottles instead of cans because she said they had a certain charm, but she’d chosen it for aesthetics over brand. Theo had no idea what these bottles even were. “Here you go.”
“Ah, thanks.” His dad quickly popped the cap and took a swig, nodding. “That’s nice.”
The relief was palpable, which Theo knew was so fucking dumb. Who cared if his dad liked his (Jordan’s) beer choice? He took his own sip, but he’d never been able to tell the difference between beers. They all tasted bitter to him.
“So…” His dad set the beer on the table, but then changed his mind, picking it back up and wiping away the ring of moisture. “How’s your mom?”
Irreparably broken, Theo wanted to say, but instead, he sat down on the other end of the couch, trying not to let his thoughts show on his face.
“She got promoted to shift manager. And Aunt Liana opened her café. The first month went really well. Dae and I work there once in a while to give her a break.” His dad just nodded, seeming to go through the motions of listening without actually retaining anything.
So he decided to throw the spotlight on him, instead. “How’s Tara?”
“Tara?” He laughed like the name was an inside joke. “Haven’t spoken to her in ages. What made you think of her?”