29. Cheot Sarang
Cheot Sarang
Theo was slow to wake up. At first he forgot why his body hurt so much, but then he remembered the fire escape, the falling, and the fear-induced full-body shaking.
He tried to stretch but decided against it when his muscles screamed at him.
Dae was already awake, facing him with his arm tucked under his head, his hair mussed and his eyes droopy.
Exquisite.
What did one say to one’s best friend whom one had been ravaged by the night before? There was no answer, so Theo tapped him on the nose. “Boop.”
Dae blinked. “Did you just boop my nose?”
“Yes.”
He squeezed his smile, shaking his head against the pillow. Then his gaze shifted to the door. “Do you want me to go?”
“To get breakfast?”
“No, I...” Why wouldn’t he look at him? Theo thought having Dae’s mouth on his cock meant their days of him being shy were over. “I mean, are you okay with what happened last night?”
Theo put on an innocent pout. “Whatever do you mean?” Dae somehow rolled his eyes without rolling his eyes. He rolled his face. “Ohhhh,” Theo said, “you mean the filthy things you did to me?”
“Theo.”
“You mean when you told me you constantly thought about how I’d taste?”
“Uuuugggghhhhhh.” Dae rolled onto his back and put his arms over his head.
It likely wasn’t intentional that he was now giving Theo an incredible view of his biceps, bare chest, and abs, but it was a delightful byproduct of his embarrassment nonetheless.
Shit, he was even more breathtaking in the morning light.
Theo pushed himself up and straddled his hips, forcing his arms away from his beautiful, beautiful face. “Yes, I’m okay with everything that happened last night. Are you okay with what I said?”
“What?” He mimicked Theo’s faux innocence. “That I’m the most important person in your life and you’d wither away without me?”
“Did I say that last part?”
“It was implied.”
“Ah.” There was so much joy inside him that Theo wondered how his heart wasn’t ripping at the seams. “Well then. Yes. That.”
“Yes, Theo. I’m okay with everything you said.” He playfully rocked side to side and Theo’s body swayed with him like he was on a coin-operated rocket outside the supermarket.
“So we get to be like this?” Theo wasn’t sure what he meant by that, and Dae didn’t seem to either, but he nodded anyway. Whatever this was. They could have it.
Maybe his heart was ripping at the seams, and he was just too delirious with happiness to notice. Oh well. As far as ways to die went, this one wasn’t bad.
Something possessed Theo to tickle him, and Dae reacted by grabbing his arms, which made Theo hiss in pain. He regretted it instantly because Dae became Serious Dae: Problem Solver.
“Does it hurt?” He gently examined Theo’s arms, turning them over to see the bruises that had formed in the night, and the cut on his forearm that neither of them had noticed.
Theo hadn’t felt it at the time because he was too busy panicking about his imminent death, but he’d hit the railing pretty hard.
“No, it’s okay.”
“Liar.” He lifted Theo off him and placed him back down on the bed. “I’ll get the first-aid kit.”
“No, wait.” Theo pulled him back down, not wanting this phase of his Big Important Life Change to end yet. “Can we just…”
Dae hesitated, then snuggled back into the bed, wrapping his arm around Theo’s middle and pulling up the blanket. It was a little rough against his skin, but not in a bad way. Sort of like the calluses on Dae’s hands.
“Do you want to know what your nickname means? Cheot Sarang?”
Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. “More than anything.”
Dae bit his lip and closed his eyes. “First love.”
Theo’s initial reaction was confusion, because there was no way he was actually Dae’s first love. The nickname had been made in the first week of university, when they didn’t even know each other that well. So it must’ve been a joke. Then he wondered why it was a joke.
When he came out of his head, he found Dae staring at him, a worry line splitting his forehead.
“What’s the punchline?”
The line got deeper for a second, then Dae’s face smoothed, and he laughed.
“There is no punchline, dummy. You got the name when we were ten, and I wouldn’t stop talking about this boy I saw in the school musical.
He was so confident and funny, and he couldn’t sing, but he did it anyway.
His costume was ugly, but he didn’t care. ”
Theo had loved that hideous costume so much. It was so heinous, it swung back around to being cute.
“I kept saying, everyone loved him; they all loved him so much. Finally Eomma said, I think you love him. She told the story to our relatives for years, like it was this adorable anecdote, how my first crush was a boy I saw in a terrible school musical.”
First crush. Theo. He thought of the speech competition, of the way Dae had stared at him. He wished he could go back in time and tell Young Dae to confess. Just tell me, Dae. But unfortunately time travel didn’t exist (yet), so instead, he said, “Terrible? That musical was a masterpiece.”
“Your hook was made of pipe-cleaner.”
“It was a statement on my character’s inner turmoil.” Someone outside was whistling, a sound so utterly content and cheerful that it was hard not to think everyone in the world was having a perfect day. “And she remembered that story ten years later?”
“Oh yes.” He chuckled. “When I told her who my roommate was, she gasped so hard she choked and said, your first love? That’s what you remain to this day.”
To this day. In his bed. Dae’s hand casually resting on his hip. “If only she could see us now.”
“If you’re about to video my eomma, I’m calling this whole thing off.”
Theo reached for his phone. “I would never.”
“I know you’re joking, but a part of me actually isn’t sure.”
“I’m joking. About joking. I’m calling her.”
“Theo.”
He laughed and put the phone down, then settled back beside him, lacing his fingers through his because he could do things like that now. “So I was your first crush. That’s stupidly cute.”
Something took over Dae, like he was that guy again, the one who pushed Theo against a wall and dove into his soul, demanding to know if this was real.
It was all so much, not too much, but still a lot.
It had been an intense twenty-four hours, and the reality of it was making him sweaty.
He slid his hand away and turned onto his back, taking a long breath.
Dae’s voice was flat. “I shouldn’t have told you.”
“Why?”
“You’re freaking out.”
A smiling huff. “In a good way.”
“You have a good way of freaking out?”
“Yeah, it’s new, and it makes me all sweaty. I know we’ve been friends for years, but we’re in a romance now. I don’t want to gross you out with my freak-out excretions.”
“Calling them excretions was a great start.” Dae couldn’t hide the smile in his voice.
Theo turned again, burrowing into the crook of his neck. “You asked for it.”
“Gross.” But he wrapped his arms around him and whispered something that Theo couldn’t make out.
He pulled back to look at him. “Hmmm?”
Dae’s eyes were so vulnerable that Theo wanted to put his heart in a padded room to protect it. “We’re in a romance?”
“Aren’t we?”
His lips twitched and then pressed together.
“Stop that.” Theo put his hands on Dae’s face and used his thumbs to push his lips up.
Dae laughed. “Okay, stop.”
“You stop.”
“Theo.” He took his hands from his face and held them. “We’re okay, right?”
Okay? They were forever, eternal, intertwined in a way no force in the universe could untangle. “I thought that was fairly obvious.”
Dae not-smiled, then noticed Theo’s annoyed pout and gave him a huge, manic grin, dimples and all. “This better?”
“I know you’re teasing, but honestly, yes.”
He dropped it and gave him a real, soft smile, then leaned forwards to kiss his forehead. “I can do that now, right?”
“I meant what I said, Dae. You can do whatever you want.”
Mischief crossed his face. At first Theo thought there were sexy ideas brewing, but then he sat up. “I’m getting the first-aid kit.”
??? ???
It was almost a perfect morning. Theo was wearing his coziest pajamas, Dae’s powder-blue shirt hugged his chest, a toasting bagel filled the apartment with a baked-bread smell, and the kitchen was bathed in sunshine like they were shooting a gay coffee commercial.
All Theo needed was for the love of his life to act like they were actually together.
“How do you feel?” Dae took Theo’s arm to examine the barely-there bruises and healed cut.
“It’s been okay for days. You don’t need an excuse to touch me, you know.
” Theo gave him a kiss on the cheek, then turned to soak his bagel in garlic butter.
He wanted Dae to hug him from behind, put his head on his shoulder and nuzzle into his neck as Theo giggled at him to stop.
Maybe he’d seen too many romantic comedies, and his idea of what real love was had been unrealistically skewed because of it, but he couldn’t help what he wanted.
Their cozy, sexy, romantic bubble from that first weekend had burst as soon as they went back into the real world, leaving them in a state of careful limbo.
Dae’s words, his kisses, and the way he touched him was all so fucking polite it made Theo want to scream.
The only sign that their relationship had shifted was the occasional hand-hold on the couch.
If they didn’t end up in bed together every night, Theo could’ve convinced himself he’d dreamed the whole thing.