29. Cheot Sarang #4
“I’ve seen you throw away guys for remembering your mom’s birthday.
I’ve watched you push away anyone who got close, and I couldn’t be that.
I couldn’t…” He wiped away a tear before it had the chance to fall.
“No one is closer to you than I am. Do you know how terrifying that is? How was I supposed to get excited about being with you, knowing that if you found out how much I love you, you’d run away? ”
“I won’t. I can’t. Not from you.” How could Dae even imagine a world where Theo could exist without him?
“I was just scared…” How could he possibly explain?
“Everything I did was to keep you, Dae. I couldn’t cross that line, because then…
” His chest ached with his own tears and his voice broke.
“I didn’t trust myself not to hurt you.”
Dae’s warmth surrounded him, and he was pulled into his arms, the pressure of it crushing and necessary as he let the sobs out.
“I’m sorry, Dae. I’m so, so fucking sorry.”
Dae pressed their foreheads together, shaking his head, their noses brushing as he did. “I’m sorry I didn’t trust this.” A tear fell. “I wanted to, but…”
“But I didn’t give you a reason to.”
“No, that’s not it.” He pulled back to look at him.
“You’ve been there for me through so much shit.
I trust you, Theo. I just didn’t trust…” He let out a frustrated breath that tickled Theo’s skin.
“When you want something for so long, and then it happens… I was just so scared it would be taken away if I dove in too fast—too recklessly.”
“How long?” Theo knew he was being a shit. Knew it was a question he could ask later, when they weren’t baring their fears, when they weren’t crying messes in each other’s arms. But he also needed to know.
Dae looked like he was about to jump off a cliff. “Theo, I’ve been yours my whole life.”
The words didn’t just change his life now; they were changing his life then, rewriting his memories and turning him into someone who was worthy of a lifetime of love from a man like Dae. His own voice came out a whisper. “I’m sorry I made you wait.”
Dae shook his head, smiling. “I think that was how it had to be.”
Theo knew it was true, deep in his bones. “I wasn’t ready for you. I probably would’ve screwed it up.” Dae nodded, and Theo laughed, playfully hitting his shoulder, then wiping his wet face. “You didn’t have to agree so quickly.”
Dae’s smile healed everything broken inside him. “Probably was generous.”
They held each other, gently swaying cheek-to-cheek, dancing to the sounds of the world that had slowly started to trickle back into the moment.
“Dae?”
“Hmm?”
“Did I hurt you?”
Dae held him closer. “I made my choices, Theo.”
It was a question he’d known the answer to, but he still needed to hear it. Yes, by trying not to hurt him, he’d hurt him. But he hadn’t lost him, which meant he could make it right.
“Let me make it up to you.”
Dae’s response was a soft, amused hum.
Theo pulled back to look at him. “For the rest of our lives.”
Intensity swallowed Dae’s eyes as they roamed Theo’s face. Then he nodded. “Okay.”
Theo wanted to kiss him, but he also wanted… “Let’s have sex.”
Dae coughed out a surprised laugh. “Yes. Obviously, yes.”
“Give me ten minutes.”
“Uh, yeah, yep.” He stepped back and ran his hand through his hair, trying to squash his smile, the pink flush of his cheeks spreading to his ears.
It was the cutest thing Theo had ever seen.
He wanted to watch him adorably spiral, but he also just really wanted to be fucked, so he got himself to the bathroom and in the shower.
Never in his life had he prepped so fast. He stood in the steamy bathroom, his skin still damp, holding a pair of clean underwear, wondering if he should even bother.
He definitely wasn’t squeezing back into those tight jeans, but he also didn’t want to just walk into Dae’s room buck-ass naked.
Plus, sometimes the clothes removal was half the fun.
But then again, there was the matter of just really wanting to be fucked. So he threw on the fluffy bathrobe he’d never actually worn before and tied the strap around his waist.
Dae was shirtless, sitting on the edge of his bed, drumming his hands on his thighs, though they stilled when Theo walked in. “Wow.”
“It’s really soft.” He ran his hands down the robe, already hard from the sight of Dae waiting for him. “Want to touch it?”
Dae smiled, coy. “Yes, Theo. I want to touch it. Come here.”
Theo obeyed, stepping between his spread legs and holding his breath as Dae held his gaze, running his hands over the robe. “It is soft.”
“Uhm hmm.” Theo wasn’t sure he could formulate words any more.
Not when Dae was looking at him like that, not when his fingers were pulling at the strap, undoing the knot.
The tie fell to the sides, and the robe inched open, revealing a strip of Theo’s naked body.
Dae licked his lips, taking in the sight, and Theo’s brain completely fried.
“You’re so beautiful,” Dae whispered, his hands dipping beneath the fabric to grip the backs of his thighs, massaging as they moved up to his ass. Then he leaned forward, nosing the robe open even more and kissing Theo’s stomach.
It was a good thing Dae was holding him, because Theo’s legs melted from the heat scorching through his body.
The kisses turned wet, and Theo realized Dae was licking him now, forging a burning path to his hip, then down to the sensitive skin around his balls, then the wet heat traveled up the length of him before Dae took him into his mouth.
“Uuggghhhhh, fuck.” Theo leaned into his mouth, gripping Dae’s shoulder and running his other hand through his soft, thick hair.
He was going to come before he got what he wanted. So he dropped to his knees, feeling Dae’s mouth slide off him as he did, and clawed at Dae’s pants. Yes, sometimes taking clothes off was half the fun, but right now, he needed his boyfriend naked, and he needed his cock in his mouth.
Dae helped him, pushing his pants and underwear down and wiggling out of them as Theo pulled them off, tossing them to the floor. He hummed as he swallowed Dae as far as he could, relaxing his throat to take him in.
“Ohmyfuckingjesus, Theo.” Dae folded over him, his hands running over his back, the calluses scraping in a way Theo never imagined would be so satisfying.
He ran his lips up and down, using his tongue to make sure Dae was feeling every motion.
His moans were lighting Theo up, making him want more, wanting to see him unravel.
He was so focused on Dae’s pleasure that he almost forgot what they’d planned to do, until Dae gasped, putting his hands under Theo’s arms and hoisting him up.