YOU HAVE NO IDEA
Fountains of champagne flowed amidst an abundance of cheers. Confetti fell from the high ceilings of the ballroom. All around me, people were hugging, kissing, laughing. Convivial joy. I was steeped in it. Piper Hermès played a beautiful rendition of Auld Lang Syne on violin, but the best part of entering another year was Bumble Bee clinging to my fucking arm.
From a large projector, we watched live as the giant silver heart dropped in downtown Paramour in commemoration of the holiday. My new year began with the feel of pillowy lips seasoned with the scent of peach and the flavor of excitement. The Colonial Pipeline New Year’s party was one for the books.
With Serenity, time became insignificant. The passage of it no longer required tallying. We didn’t count days. Didn’t count months. Didn’t curse ourselves in that way, as if our time together was limited. No longer counting the, we simply existed in our own bubble. Enjoying each other.
February rolled around with a ramping up of work on both of our ends. She was beginning construction on her first spa while I was knee-deep in mergers at Colonial . Robbed of our typical autonomy, we had to be intentional about the moments we spent together.
“The foundation has been laid. We’re cooking with grease.”
A smile wide enough to split her face in two came alongside her explanation when I asked about the status of the new spa. I was happy for her. Proud.
“That’s good. Solari hasn’t been giving you any problems either?”
“Nope. Everything is going splendidly to plan.”
So she claimed. I’d done my digging into Solari , discovering that after a botched IPO attempt unraveled the business, revealing larger-than-expected losses and potential conflicts of interest with the company’s co-founder, the company was filing for bankruptcy.
While surprised Bee hadn’t been made aware yet, I kept my mouth zipped. Sensitive to receiving help when it came to the new spa, I couldn’t handle any further rejection. Maybe she already knew and was keeping the information to herself.
The wariness of Colonial Holding’s board members was immense when I expressed an interest in purchasing Solari . Despite their hesitation, I convinced them that the purchase was a sound idea. My win didn’t come without pushback, however. They’d made such a big deal of it that my father even showed up to the meeting. Pulling me aside in a separate room, he voiced his reservations freely.
“What’s gotten into you to make such an imprudent decision? Have you seen their reputation? It’s going straight to the shitter.”
At a tie between board members over the acquisition, he was the only one who could break it.
“What is it that would cause you to place all we’ve worked for at risk to buy fucking Solari?”
“Pops, you’re dragging it. All we’ve worked for at risk?”
“You know what I mean, D3. That company is trash.”
If I could have gone about it any other way, I would have, but seeing Serenity struggle with Solari to obtain what she wanted fucked with me. She wouldn’t accept my gift, so I had to move a little differently in how I approached her dilemma.
“It’s not what. It’s who, and you know who she is.”
“This is about Serenity?” My father’s face collapsed. “I know she’s Ramsay’s daughter, yes. But I’m asking you, who is she? Tell me in your own words.”
Silence plagued the air. My heart slowed to a fucking beat per minute, it seemed.
“Your request is for the impossible. Serenity’s influence looms beyond syntax or minuscule descriptors. This one is my forever,” I stroked my beard.
“You said that about the last one.”
My parents were married for thirty-nine years before my mother decided to take rest in God’s arms. Since her transition, my father had withered as a pruning raisin in the sun. His heartbroken soul was left without direction.
Where does love go when it doesn’t have a home ?
Without my mother, he’d held his grief inward, like an arrow to the heart. Its effects seeped outward, unsettling everyone he’d come into contact with. Reluctantly retiring, it was no wonder he’d been a grouch about the way I handled the business. But this wasn’t Colonial Pipeline . This was my shit. Colonial Holdings .
“I hope you’re not making a mistake.”
“You stay getting in my way, old man,” I clipped, chest puffed, brows knitted like Frida. We stood mere feet apart. “Vote for the buyout so I can do what I need to do.”
“Somebody has to watch from the sidelines and keep you in check.”
“This is my company. You can step away from the board. You can step down from the pipeline’s board too, but stop looking over my shoulder.” Arms crossed, legs wide, I stood my ground.
I loved my father. I knew he loved me, too. He never failed to show that love when we were outside of Colonial’s walls. Inside them, we weren’t father and son, though. We were two employees at each other’s fucking throats.
As the only parent I had left, I had no choice but to cherish him, but the man could be a pain in the ass when it came to business. After my mother’s passing, our relationship became more strained every time we stepped foot in a boardroom. After I took over Colonial , that strain intensified.
Condescendingly, he laughed and ran his palm down the back of his head. “Aight, top dog . I’ll let you make this misstep. Not because your disrespectful ass asked but because of your flawless record.” His stepping closer brought us chest to chest. “But the minute you fuck up, boy… I’m snatching my shit back.”
There it was .
What the fuck he failed to say over the last few years. The confession I longed for came in few words. It wasn’t that he lacked faith in me. It wasn’t that I was inadequate at the helm of both companies. It wasn’t any of the things I’d surmised.
He wanted his company back. After a lengthy dance with grief following my mother’s passing, he was ready to return to running things. Too haughty to admit it, he’d watched over me as profits soared under my direction.
Sealing our gaze, his silence was both pervasive and prominent. Finally, he broke the extensive quiet with a chuckle.
“She must be mighty fucking special for you to take such a risky leap.”
“You have no idea.”