Chapter 12 Alina
ALINA
It had been almost a week since I came to Little Rock searching for Viktor.
I’d hoped that he would find it in his heart to help me, but I still haven’t had a chance to speak to him.
Sergei had taken it upon himself to bypass his brother entirely and brought me to his apartment.
I was a little nervous about the idea. I knew Sergei from my childhood, but only through the time I’d spent with his family and brother.
I remembered him as this fierce being with intense eyes and a chip on his shoulder. That hadn’t changed, but he’d offered his hand, and I’d had no choice but to take it. While I had no idea what it was, he was working on a plan to help me, but it was taking a great deal of time and patience.
Sergei came and went for hours at a time, leaving me to fill the silence any way I could.
His apartment was beautiful and spacious, but with each passing hour, the walls felt closer and more like a prison than a safe haven.
I had too much time on my hands, and I was constantly thinking of Alek and what he’d do when he found me.
Those thoughts led me to think about home.
It wasn’t because I missed it or Alek.
I didn’t.
Not even in the slightest.
It had never been good with him, not even at our wedding.
I stood there next to him, wearing the dress they’d chosen for me while he slid the ring onto my finger.
He was so cold and distant, and when he leaned in to kiss me, our lips barely touched, like he was putting on a show he couldn’t wait to be done with.
The intimacy we shared after was no different. When we had sex, it was like he wasn’t even in the room with me. He certainly wasn’t thinking of me. He wouldn’t even look at me, much less kiss me. He did the deed, and that was that. And this might sound crazy, but it didn’t even bother me.
I didn’t long for something more, and I didn’t feel rejected or less than.
I didn’t feel anything at all.
Truth was, I was relieved when he stopped initiating sex.
I knew it wouldn’t last forever. He would expect an heir at some point, but I was tired of just going through the motions, especially when I hated him the way I did.
I had good reason. It was hard to be intimate with someone who took joy in your pain.
He wasn’t one to hold my hand or kiss me goodnight, but he loved showing me just how strong and powerful he could be. He used that strength and power to keep me in my place, and it worked. He left me with memories that no amount of time could erase.
Whatever we had, it wasn’t a real marriage. It was a contract.
And now that I was out of it, I was relieved. But apprehensive.
There was a good chance he would find me, but I couldn’t go back.
I wouldn’t.
Thoughts like these haunted me throughout the day, and even more so at night.
So, I did what I could to busy myself. I tried on the clothes Malcolm had bought me and pieced them together to make one outfit after the next.
They weren’t anything extraordinary, just some jeans and sweats, but they were comfortable and incredibly thoughtful.
Once I put them all away, I tried reading and cleaning, but no matter how spotless I made the kitchen or how long I stared out at the city lights, my thoughts would always go dark. I needed a break, so I glanced over at Bog and considered trying to get him to talk to me.
I made my way to the kitchen and sighed when I found him sitting at his desk by the front door. He’d been there all day, watching the cameras like he was waiting for World War Three to come knocking at the door.
I understood his intensity. It was his job to hold the enemy’s lines, and he took his role seriously. He didn’t talk, and he only moved when he needed to stretch or shift his weight. I wasn’t sure if he was here to protect me or to ensure I stayed put. Maybe both.
I’d tried numerous times to make conversation, but each time, his answers were short and to the point. He made it pretty clear he didn’t want to talk, but I gave it a try. “Hey, Bog. How’s it going?”
“Fine.”
“Can I get you some coffee or a bite to eat?”
“I’m good.”
“How’s the weather out there today?”
“Cold.”
He never looked up from the cameras, making it clear he wasn’t in the mood for idle conversation, so I left him to it and went to the living room to find a movie to watch. I scrolled for a bit and decided to try an old horror film.
It was a decision I would soon come to regret.
At first, it wasn’t so bad. It was just your stereotypical dark house with creepy music playing in the background.
There was a weird presence lurking around, and the lights flickered a time or two.
All the usual spooky stuff. But then, a presence stepped out of the shadows, and I let out a very undignified, very loud squeal.
It was loud, like I was being murdered kind of loud, and I clutched my pillow like it might save me from being possessed. I was still trying to recover from the scare when Bog thundered into the room with his gun drawn and his eyes wide. “What happened? Who’s here?”
“No one. It’s the movie.” I pointed at the screen and gasped when I saw what was happening. “Oh, God! What are you doing? Don’t go in the basement!”
Bog looked over at the TV, and his scowl deepened. After a long pause, he turned back to me and shook his head. “This is why you screamed?”
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that.”
“I thought you were being wounded.”
“It was just a jump scare.”
“Such nonsense.” He crossed his massive arms with a huff. “Not good to fill your head with such things.”
“You nearly tackled the coffee table, and I’m the one with the problem?”
Bog’s attention was drawn to the television screen when everything went dark, and all you could hear was heavy breathing. He stood there with furrowed brows, and I couldn’t help but give him a hard time. “You going to stand guard against the boogeyman now?”
He didn’t answer. He didn’t even flinch.
He just stood there, looming over me as the movie dragged us both deeper into its creepy little world.
We were both so captivated by what was going on in the movie that we hadn’t noticed that the front door had opened, and Sergei had walked in.
Suddenly I heard, “What the hell is this?”
It felt like the air was suddenly sucked out of the room.
Usually, when Sergei walked in, I’d feel a strange, guilty rush of relief. I was just so happy to have someone to talk to But when I saw the angry expression on his face just now, I was anything but relieved.
Knowing he was mad that Bog wasn’t stationed at the door, I went to his defense.
“It wasn’t Bog’s fault. I was just…”
Bog raised a hand, silencing me with a single motion. His face was stone, and his voice was steady as he said, “No excuses. I was not where I should have been.”
My stomach sank.
Without another word, he turned and walked out of the room.
The door clicked shut behind him, and the silence that followed was suffocating.
I turned to Sergei and said, “It wasn’t his fault.
He’s been at that door for hours on end and barely moves.
He was only here because I screamed at this stupid movie. ”
“It doesn’t matter what you think or what I think. Bog knows where he was supposed to be, and he will punish himself for not being there. And it will be far worse than anything I could do or say.”
“Well, now I feel even worse.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“It certainly feels that way.”
“Don’t worry about it. There will be something else for him to fret over tomorrow.” Sergei sat down on the sofa and let out a breath. “So, how was your day?”
“Pretty quiet.” I gave him a slight shrug. “I read a little, picked up a little, and made a little lunch. I got bored and made the brilliant decision to watch a horror movie.”
“Sounds eventful.”
“I wish. What about you? How was your day?”
“Busy.”
That was all I got. I had no idea if he was busy with work or dealing with Alek, so I asked, “Any news about Alek?”
“No.” Before I could press, he straightened his back and asked, “What are your thoughts for dinner?”
“I don’t really have any.” I motioned my head toward the kitchen. “I would’ve cooked, but I used the last of the groceries to make lunch.”
“I see.” He thought for a moment, then lifted his brow. “Would you be up for taking a ride? We could grab something on the way back.”
“Sure,” I answered, sounding more excited than I’d intended.
I popped up from the couch so fast I surprised myself, and Sergei, too. His mouth tugged into the faintest smirk as he glanced over at the television. “You sure? I don’t want to disrupt your movie.”
“Oh, please,” I groaned. “It’s awful. I was only watching it out of sheer desperation.”
“Desperation?” Sergei stood with a chuckle. “I didn’t realize things were so bad around here.”
“Oh, they’re not!” I stammered. “They’re great! Your place is wonderful, and…”
His smirk deepened as he teased, “I’m just messing with you, Lina. I know it’s been an adjustment, but this won’t last forever.”
He’d called me Lina. It was a name I hadn’t heard in years.
Only two people had ever used it. My mother and Sergei.
I can still remember the last time he called me by the nickname.
I’d just turned fourteen, and we were attending a family gathering.
I’d decided to dress up and wear heels for the very first time.
I wanted to look grown-up and elegant, but just as I entered the main room, I tripped over my own two feet and stumbled to the floor. I was mortified. My face burned with embarrassment. I just knew everyone was going to laugh at me, but Sergei appeared out of nowhere.
He slipped his hand under my arm and pulled me to my feet. Once I was standing, he lowered his mouth to my ear and whispered, “Easy there, Lina. You wouldn’t want anyone here thinking that you actually care what they think.”
Without saying anything else, he released his hold on me and sauntered over to his friend group, pretending nothing had happened. He had no clue that his words soothed a part of me that I didn’t even know existed.
And it had just the same effect on me now.
I looked over at him and a warmth washed over me as I took in his sexy little smirk and that twinkle in his eye.
Maybe I was a fool. Maybe I was just seeing what I wanted to see, but I couldn’t help but think that there was something special about him.
Something good. Something strong. Something that might actually pull me from the darkness and hold me in the light.
I really hoped I was right.
I swallowed hard, then followed him out of the living room and down to the hall closet. He reached in and grabbed the toboggan and gloves I’d worn several days before, along with a heavy coat. He held them out to me, and I took them and immediately put them on.
The coat was a little big, but I didn’t mind.
It was warm and smelled faintly like Sergei’s cologne, and I clung to it as we headed out into the cold, night air.
The ride was quiet, but it was a good kind of quiet.
Relaxing even. I looked out the window, watching the city lights blur as we drove deeper into the city.
After a while, I glanced over at Sergei. He was leaning back in his seat with one hand on the wheel and the other resting lazily against the console. I thought we were going to spend the entire drive in silence until Sergei said, “You know, I never was a fan of Alek.”
“Oh?’
“Yeah, I couldn’t stand the guy. He always acted like he was better than everybody, for no reason.”
“I think he had a short man complex.”
“I don’t remember him being all that short.”
“Didn’t say he was,” I scoffed. “But he definitely had a chip on his shoulder.”
“That he did.” He shook his head. “I bet he has one of those over-the-top security systems that uses facial recognition just to get in the door.”
“No facial recognition, but it was definitely over-the-top. There are motion sensors everywhere. Pin codes at every door. And cameras tucked in corners like he thought the whole world was out to get him.”
“Figures. He always had a thing for control.”
“That he did. He wanted to know every move that went on in that house, and he would use it against me every chance he got.”
“I bet.”
“But you know what was funny?” I didn’t give him a chance to answer before continuing, “He used his birthday for all the codes. The gate at the front. The doors inside. His office. And even the safe. Everyone knows you don’t do that.”
Sergei hummed in agreement, like he found it funny that Alek could be so stupid, and with that, the conversation drifted into silence again.
After a few quick turns, I noted some places I could’ve sworn I’d seen before. My stomach tightened with recognition as Sergei slowed and pulled through the iron gate. We were at his mother’s home, and the barn lights were glowing in the distance.
He continued down the drive, and when he parked at the stable’s gate, I glanced over at him and asked, “Do I need to stay in the car?”
“No. You’re good. Everyone’s at the clubhouse tonight.”
I had no idea what he’d meant, but I didn’t question it.
I wanted to see the horses and find out how the sick mare was doing.
So, I pushed the door open and followed him inside.
I heard the soft shuffle of hooves and the occasional swish of a tail as we passed one stall after the next, each one holding a more beautiful horse than the last.
He stopped at the stall and his lips slowly curled into a soft smile as he undid the latch. He opened the stall door, and his voice softened as he said, “There’s my girl.”
My chest tightened as I watched him step over to the mare and start stroking the side of her neck. It was clear he cared a great deal for this horse, and from the way she nuzzled him with her nose, she cared a great deal for him, too.
I stood there and watched as his tough-as-nails demeanor faded away. He was calm and compassionate in a way that tugged at my heart. He glanced over at me, and then, back to the horse as he said, “She gave us quite a scare.”
She nuzzled him again, and I couldn’t help but smile. “I think she might like you.”
“Maybe, but she’s a finicky thing.” She snorted softly, and when her ears flicked forward, Sergei let out a low chuckle. “Tomorrow, she won’t give me the time of day. But that’s alright. We take things one day at a time around here.”
He spoke it almost like the words weren’t meant for me, but for her.
But I’d heard them. I’d felt them, too.
It was like I’d stumbled on some secret piece of his heart that he kept hidden from everyone else, but I’d seen it. And as I stood there watching him murmur softly to the mare, God help me, I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to see more of it.