Chapter 30
THIRTY
The night of the benefit had swooped down upon her, arriving so fast her head was still spinning. The high school gymnasium might seem like an odd place to hold a classy fundraiser, but in Jesslyn’s mind, it was perfect. It embodied the spirit of the reason for the whole thing. Giving kids a safe place to hang out—and get help. The gym atmosphere would be a reminder throughout for why they were there.
Once everyone had a chance to finish their dinner, her aunt, dressed in black jeans, a white turtleneck, and a black jewel-studded blazer, took to the stage while dessert was served.
Jesslyn caught Nathan studying her. “What?” she asked.
“You ready?”
“I think so. I better be.” She shot him a smile, then turned to Eli, who was looking happy and healthy. It was amazing what hope could do in such a short time. “I can’t thank you enough for your part in this.”
“I’m excited, and it’s you I should be thanking.”
“Without further ado,” Carol said, “I’d like to welcome my lovely niece to the stage. She has a few words she’d like to say.”
Nathan squeezed her hand under the table, and she rose to walk to the stage. Carol hugged her and passed her the microphone.
“Thank you all for coming,” Jesslyn said. “I know you’re familiar with my story. My family’s story. What you may not know is that I’ve recently learned that my father suffered from mental illness.” She caught a few raised brows, but she had the attention of everyone. Including a few of the servers. She pulled in a steadying breath. “I also learned that he grew up in and out of the foster care system due to neglect. With no family and slipping through the cracks of an overwhelmed system, my dad was basically on his own throughout his entire childhood and into his adulthood. By some miracle—proof that the Lord is always working—he finished high school and got a full scholarship to college where he studied real estate and business. While he was still in school, he went to work with a company who took a chance on him and from there, built his career. Dad met and married my mother and had us kids. For the casual observer looking at my family, one would never know anything was wrong. For those on the inside, such as my aunt, there were so many problems. As a result of his formative years, my father suffered PTSD, fear of abandonment, and so on. I’ve talked to a psychiatrist who pinpointed multiple things, and out of respect for my father, I won’t go into detail, but I want you to know that since discovering who my father was and how my mother supported him, I still want to build this youth center, but I want it to be so much more than that. I want it to be a place where kids can come from all walks of life. A place where they will find someone in their corner. People who genuinely care about them and are willing to mentor them through this thing we call life. The Bible calls us to do so. In Matthew, Jesus says, ‘When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. ... The King will say to those on his right, ... “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.”’
“Folks, we want to reach these kids before they have to go hungry or thirsty. We want to welcome them and clothe them, get them medical help if they need it. And make sure they never see the inside of a prison.” With each word, her voice rose, her passion ringing in the silent gymnasium. All eyes were on her, dessert left untouched in front of the attendees. “And most of all, we want to make sure they get the mental health help they may need. Tonight, I’m asking you to join us on this journey to influence the future. Our future. These kids are our future too, right? We must invest in the next generation and the generations after that. Some of us can do that by volunteering our time. Others can dig into their pockets to get this place built and keep it running for many years to come. And I’m thrilled to say, Dr. Eli Carlisle will be joining our team. He’s a psychiatrist with many years of experience and a story of redemption that will change the lives of those he counsels.” She motioned for Eli to stand, and he gave a small wave to thunderous applause before taking his seat again.
Jesslyn gripped the mic and took a breath. “You know why you’re here. And I don’t have the words to express my gratitude that you showed up. If this is a project you can get behind, there are envelopes on the table. Our goal is to raise enough to build this place and fund it, including Dr. Eli’s salary, for the next five years. Thank you again. And don’t forget to eat your dessert. It’s really good.”
Laughter broke out and then murmured conversations floated around her as she made her way back to the table.
Before she could sit, Nathan stood, the look on his face making her stomach do that flippy thing. He snagged her hand. “Could I borrow you a moment?”
“Sure.”
He led her out to the empty lobby and over to the painted sunset scene on the wall.
“That’s Lake City’s sunset over the lake near James’s house,” she said.
“I recognize the spot.”
“I never get tired of seeing the gold and oranges and reds all coming together to create a scene that’s never the same, but always painfully beautiful.”
He reached out and stroked a finger down her cheek. “That’s a good way of saying how I feel when I look at you.”
Her breath caught and she bit her lip.
“Too bold?” he asked.
“Um. Maybe a bit.”
“You have to know how I feel. It’s not like I’ve tried to hide it.”
“I know. I think that’s why I’m so comfortable with you. I never have to wonder about you.”
He shrugged. “I don’t like games. Never have.”
“Then I won’t play them with you.” She sucked in a steadying breath. “You’ve given me a lot of space up to tonight. There, but not pushy. Allowing me to think and process. I appreciate that.”
“Of course.”
“So, here goes. I like you, too, Nathan. The same way you like me. I think you’re amazing and wonderful. You have a compassionate and giving heart and I...”
“You what?”
“I don’t deserve that,” she whispered. “I don’t deserve you. I don’t know what to do with you. I don’t know how to have a relationship.”
“Does anyone really know how?”
“I mean, aren’t there rules?”
“The only ones I’m aware of are the ones laid out in the Bible. You know, leave and cleave and be faithful, trust in the Lord and let him direct our paths.”
“You make it sound easy.”
“I think the concept is easy. Following it might not be. A relationship is work, just like anything else. But you make a commitment and stick to it. And let’s face it. Following through on your commitments is one thing you do well.”
She laughed. “Oh, Nathan, I do appreciate your humor, that’s for sure.”
He pulled her close. “I told you before, the ball is in your court. I want to date you, but I will walk away if that’s not what you want. So, are you ready to tell me what you want?”
And all of a sudden it was very clear to her what she wanted. “I want to kiss you.”
He blinked. Then laughed and obliged. The feel of his lips on hers, his strong arms wrapped around her, and the thud of his heart under her palm were nothing like she’d ever experienced before. It was right. It was what she wanted. It was home.
When he lifted his head, he smiled. “I like that.”
“So do I.”
“So does this mean we’re dating?”
She giggled. “I guess. I have no clue. You tell me.”
“Perfect. That’s exactly what it means.” He pulled her into a tight yet gentle hug. “I’d walk through fire for you, Jesslyn.”
“You already have.”
“I’d do it again.”
“Please don’t. That was terrifying. I could have lost you.”
“But you didn’t. We’re here and the future looks good.” He paused for a moment and she relished the silence. “You were amazing in there,” he finally said.
She smiled against his chest, happy to stay there for eternity, but she pulled back slightly and looked up at him. “Thank you. I’m thankful to know the truth now. My father was trying hard to make things work with my mother. He sent Derek and Samantha’s mother away that night. Told her it was over.”
“He was definitely trying hard. He’d overcome a lot in his past. I feel sure he and your mother would have worked it out.”
“It hurts that they never got the chance. But it’s over now. It’s really over. I haven’t had time to get the details. All I know is that Derek confessed to everything, that he was terrified of his sister and didn’t dare turn her in. Instead, he schemed to have her killed by the police while they rescued me.”
“Yep. It was such a long shot, someone finding that check, but I guess even criminals get lucky.”
“I don’t believe it was luck. God knew I needed you to find that.”
“Very true.” He shook his head. “That Samantha was a piece of work. She’d picked up their father’s abusive habits and went from hitting Derek to blackmailing him. He said he saw the fires as his chance to get rid of her once and for all. She’d snooped on his phone one day and read a text message thread between him and a student and knew he was taking bribes to change grades. From then on, she extorted money from him in exchange for her silence. Samantha didn’t know about the jewelry, so Derek figured he could use that to lead us to her. He convinced Kenny to drop the jewelry for him and keep his mouth shut. Derek knew we’d put it all together eventually, but apparently, we weren’t working fast enough for him. He planned for Samantha to die in a shootout with the police. When he kidnapped you, he knew she would come after him. But before he could tell her what he’d done, we alerted her to the fact we were closing in on Derek and she panicked. He says he didn’t want you to die, but that he couldn’t see any way around it. We were too slow to figure it out and he got desperate. He decided the only way to stop Sam was to bring you to her and convince her that his debt was paid and she was to stop blackmailing him.”
“He’s an idiot. He was going to call her and tell her I was there at the store and for her to come get me. She was supposed to arrive about the time you guys showed up. Although I’m not sure how he planned to make that happen time-wise. But apparently he thought he could.”
“Weirdly enough, his plan did kind of work. She went to find him and set the chemicals up to ignite to destroy the building she’d been stealing her supplies from. She’s on camera. Anyway, she’d given herself thirty minutes to get in and get out.”
“She planned to kill Derek too?”
“I’m not sure about that. He was her money source. If he died, that would have dried up.”
“Not technically, if her kids were his beneficiaries.”
“True. If he died, her kids may have inherited. He seems to really care about them.”
“Wait a minute. That jewelry was worth a lot of money. Why not just sell it and run?”
“I asked him that. He said she would have found him wherever he went. He needed her dead.” He pursed his lips. “I’m not sure if that’s true or not, but he sure believed it. He knew that jewelry would eventually lead us to his family—and then his sister. He also said he knew that she’d fight to the death. And if he could instigate that, then great.” He pulled in a breath. “But we’re done with that until Derek’s trial. Now we can focus on us.”
Us. Right. She swallowed hard and looked away, trying to figure out how to tell him everything.
He tilted her chin to look at him. “What is it?”
“How are you so in tune to my feelings?”
“Because I care about you.”
She smiled, then sobered. “Oh, Nathan, I’m still trying to figure out who I am if I’m not looking for the arsonist. My whole identity was wrapped up in that. And now he’s—or rather, she’s—caught and I feel at loose ends. Like I’m no one now. I don’t know what to do with that.” Tears slipped down her cheeks. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to do this here. Now.”
“It’s fine. No one’s missed us yet. Keep going. Get it all out.”
“It’s like I need to let them go now. Let my family just fade into the past. Justice is served so we can all just move on.”
“No, Jess, no.” Nathan pulled her down onto the couch and took her hands in his. “You don’t have to let them go. You’ll never have to let them go. They’re a part of you. A part of your past, your present, and even your future. You’re a fire marshal because of them. Every family you help in the future will have your family’s stamp on that. They’ll be a part of each person you help. That’s who you are. And besides, you know your identity is in Christ, not what you do.”
She sniffed. “I know that. In my head. I’m having trouble convincing my heart of that, though.”
“Maybe it’ll just take a little time to figure out where to go from here, but you will. We’ll pray about it together.”
Jesslyn scrubbed her tears away and looked at him. “Thanks.”
“And you have the center. It’s going to be something that will keep you busy. I don’t think you have to feel lost or without purpose, I think you need to lean into a new purpose. A new chapter in your life.”
“A whole new book, you mean?” But his words struck a chord and she let them settle in her heart. He was right. Her shoulders relaxed, and for the first time in as long as she could remember, she looked forward to the future. “I’ve been living day to day for so long, not daring to dream about ... anything. My focus was solely on catching my family’s killer. And now...”
“What about now? Tell me what you’ve been thinking.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re a thinker, Jess. A planner. If you could do anything in the world with your job, what would it be?”
“Cold cases.”
He blinked. “That was fast.”
She stared at him, her jaw swinging. “I have no idea where that came from.”
“I think you do.”
“Maybe. I guess I have been thinking about it. A little.”
“A lot? But let me guess. Solving cold cases would allow you to bring closure to other people. Like yourself.”
“Yes. Closure is a good thing.”
He pulled her tight. “I like to be closure to you.”
She laughed, then groaned. “That was terrible.” But she kissed him again anyway. “I like you being close to me too.”
“Now for the big question.”
“Sure.”
“Where do you want to go on our first date?”
She laughed again. “I’ll think about it, but it needs to be somewhere where we can do lots of kissing.”
He kissed her again. “I’m okay with that.”
When she could breathe again, she said, “We should get back in there, but will you be my date to James and Lainie’s wedding? They’ve changed the date to sometime in the next couple of months. ‘More details to come.’” She put air quotes around the last four words.
“What?” He laughed. “She’s scared she’s going to forget her wedding date, isn’t she?”
“I think she might be. So, will you come with me?”
“I’d love to.”
“Good. I was nervous about asking.”
“Then I’ll just have to kiss those nerves away.”
“What a brilliant idea.”
He lowered his head once more, and Jesslyn thought she heard clapping and cheering over the pounding of her heart. She shot a sideways glance at the entrance to the gym and spotted James, Lainie, Kenzie, Cole, Andrew, and Kristine. After more cheers, they stepped back into the gym and shut the doors, buying her and Nathan a few more minutes of privacy. Then all of that faded away and she knew with Nathan at her side and God at the center, they’d figure out life together.